Firstly, I'm so sorry I didn't update over half term, I'm a terrible person, I know. But thank you all so much for the reviews, they made me smile and really happy. So I decided that YES; it may be 5 o'clock, and my eyes are tired; but I shall UPDATE!

Enjoy:

CPOV:

Despite the fact Shane had woken me up; I had managed to drift back off to sleep, fitfully. It was rest I needed, but rest that it seemed had come at a terrible price. Sitting up I felt first the after effects of the drug kicking in; damn Myrnin for drugging me. But, then again they had been pleasant dreams, not that I could remember them. Sitting up I stretched and immediately regretted it, the cold air hit my like a hammer, making me shiver slightly.

Climbing out of bed I pulled out some clothes before running into the bathroom, the steam would help warm me up. It seemed I was first up, like always, the bright gold of my bracelet gleaming in the light as I washed my hair. Stepping out of the shadow I dried the dripping ends of my hair before changing into my usual jeans ensemble and returning back to my room. Smiling at myself, always the optimist, I combed my hair out and quickly dried it, it seemed I'd woken up early enough to do it.

Walking down the cold stairs I went into the kitchen and had some cereal, I wasn't in the mood for pop tarts, not today anyway. Glancing at my watch I realised that I needed to speed up, running up the stairs I was in the bathroom cleaning my teeth and I had no idea how. No idea at all.

OoO

College was boring as always, everything was boring compared to the draug and Myrnin's eccentric lessons. Chemistry was boring, basic almost, compared to the lessons Myrnin had to teach me. My mind was consumed with him, and that was worrying. Staring at the board as the teacher droned on I found myself wondering what would happen if I just walked out, laughing. I could see it in my mind's eye, the look on their faces as I did so.

So, I did.

They looked shocked, the teacher shouting at me to come back in now. I only laughed louder. I supposed this was what it mean to be mad. Mad like Myrnin. It felt odd, light, as if I was suddenly completely free of social constraint. It was enlightening, the only thought of why was something to do with good sleep, this link to Myrnin (he was mad after all) and the drug he given me to inhale from the sheets.

Sauntering to common grounds I sat at a table, a mocha in my hand as I looked at all the vampires staring at me, in fear. And I had no idea why, no idea at all. But, it was still funny. So funny, I began laughing in earnest then, and the entire populace of the room glanced round at me. It was invigorating.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Came a loss hiss as Shane sat next to me, his shaggy hair swinging around his angry face.

"Laughing, or I was, now I suppose you could say I'm talking to you." I replied, staring at him, just as he was staring at me.

"Shut the fuck up Claire. I mean now, you've got classes." He hissed across at me. He was ruining my mood, and I wasn't ready to let it go quite yet.

"I know, I thought I'd ditch them today, Myrnin's classes are so much more educational." I said as he gaped at me.

"Claire, are you alright?" He said, frowning.

"No, half left!" I said, laughing hysterically at my own joke. And then I suddenly felt. Nothing.

"What? Claire, I'm serious."

"So, am I." I replied, no hint of joking within my tone as I looked at him.

"Fine then, Go see your precious Myrnin then." He replied before standing up and brushing ym half drank mocha over the table.

"Prick." I shouted after him.

He didn't even look back at me.

And suddenly any mood I didn't have came crashing back to me, sadness, depression, fear, happiness. All together.

I had to see Myrnin now, before I did something worse, but it was just so fun! No it wasn't, came a voice inside my mind.

I was talking to myself.

God help me.

Iii

By the time I stumbled into the lab I was in crying hysterics, my entire body shaking from the strength of my sobs.

"Claire?" Came a concerned voice from behind me. "What on this earth is the matter?" He guided me over to the sofa, his worried face close to mine.

"I don't know."

"I see, stay here." He said, removing his hands from my shoulders.

He was back and holding a bubbling liquid.

"To get rid of your mood swings, don't worry; it's perfectly safe." I raised an eyebrow but took it anyone. It tasted disgusting but then all I felt was peace then normality crash onto me.

"Better?"

"Yeah thanks, what is it?"

"It's a calming concoction I use myself when my emotions become too bothersome. I often use it, so I know it is very safe."

"Why are my emotions unstable?" I asked, staring at him as he paced.

"I would presume it is because of the link we share, but it could be a chemical inbalance caused by the sleeping lavender from the sheets."

"Oh…then why are your emotions unstable?"

"That Claire, is a very good question. But, one which I cannot answer. Sometimes they are, how would you say? Haywire. Other times they are just normal, sedated." He said, looking off into the distance.

"Oh, so what are we working on today then?" I asked, keen, as always, for knowledge.

"Hmm, how does the alchemical substance of life sound?" He replied, before running to a lab table and sitting down.

I rose to join him.

Oooo

2 months later

Shane was shouting at me, and it seemed, like it always did, that my heart was about to explode from the pain he was putting it through.

"Shut up!" I screamed at him, my shrill voice seeming to echo around the room.

"Why should I? You always talk about him, so why can't I talk about her?"

"Because I'm not fucking cheating on you with him, that's why?"

"Really? I don't think that fang-bangers like you really deserve someone like me, but I'm still hanging onto you- for your reputation." He said smirking, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Get out Shane." I said, he smirked, but complied. It seemed this was what happened all the time now, whenever we were left alone. When we were with Eve and Michael we were perfect, a façade so they didn't see the cracks. But, alone, we were shattering, falling apart: and it was breaking me apart.

Shuffling over to the cabinet I pulled out the pills Myrnin and I had made to keep me calm, to dull the pain and emotion. He hadn't even asked why, and that was why I loved working for him, he never asked questions like: where did that bruise come from? Why have you been crying? Have you lost weight? He just got on with it and tried to help. And this was one of those ways.

He didn't know how much the pills affected me. I was addicted to having them now, to taking them, and feeling all my emotions disappear. But, I couldn't let it last, never. Taking a deep breath I pulled out the red tablets we'd developed to get me out of the emotionless haze I let myself fall into. They got rid of the other drug in my system by burning it out; but it made me feel, something that wasn't heartbreak. I could only be grateful for that.

A slim tear slipped from my cheek as I looked at the other pills in the cabinet. There were enough there, I knew there were. But I wasn't ready yet.

Was I?

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