A couple announcements before we get going again.

First of all thanks for all the love and support from all of you, it's really appreciated.

Secondly, just a reminder, I own squat. I do not own OUAT, any characters, any anything. I would, however, love to get my paws on Hook so if you could oblige me and send him to me I would much appreciate it.

Moving on now.

Chapter 3:

Hook rolled over in bed, wondering why the water was so still, but determined to not question it. It could only mean good things when his morning did not have to begin with a bout of sea sickness or falling out of his berth at the lashing of a particularly choppy wave. Eyes still closed he reached out, groping for his hook, knocking over a slew of things in the process. "Bloody hell." Opening his eyes he saw things were not quite as he left them. He was blinded by the color, the patters covering the walls, covering the floors, covering everything. Groaning he brought his hands to his eyes, only to realize.

Hands. He had two of them.

Things were worse than he had realized upon looking around. He ran his hands over his face, cataloguing everything. Strange colors, strange patterns, hands, no stubble, cleft chin, perpetual pout, broody forehead, shit. Throwing back the covers and racing to the mirror he fought to bite back a scream that was decidedly unmasculine. He was in Hatter's body.

Stumbling backward from the mirror he tried to ignore the fact that the mad man slept in the nude, focusing instead on the more important problem at hand.

If he was in Hatter's body it was highly likely Hatter was in his.
It was Monday meaning the day they were supposed to have their dates with Emma.
Fuck.

Digging through drawers and closets that led into bigger rooms and smaller rooms and doors that seemed to take him from one side of Hatter's house to the other, including a room full of windows that made him sure he had just flashed and mooned the entire neighborhood he found some pants before flopping down on the bed again. Running his hands over his face he groaned into them, "How the bloody hell am I supposed to seduce Emma if I'm not even in my own bloody body?"

Then it dawned on him. There was no need to play nice. Hatter wouldn't so why should he? Hatter was supposed to be meeting Emma for tea at 2pm, he would go instead and sabotage Hatter's chances. Then all he had to do was try to get back into his own body before his date with her at 7pm. Perhaps a little visit to Miss Belle would be in order.

"Jefferson, are you sure you're okay? You've seemed strange, well stranger than usual since you showed up."

She was good. Too good. He had hoped she would be able to write off just about anything he did as Hatter as just another of the fool's oddities but apparently, and to Hook's severe displeasure, she knew the mad man better than he had realized. And worse, she knew him well enough to be able to tell what the man's real little quirks were and which things were actually plans of sabotage. It was time for a distraction, but a little extra sabotage wouldn't hurt either.

"Crumbs in the butter! There are crumbs in the butter!" Screamed Hook as he threw himself backward in mock fright, flinging the table over, throwing lukewarm tea into Emma's lap. He couldn't help but be at least somewhat pleased at is perfect aim as the contents of the tea table covered her front and she fell backward. He hated to see her upset, but remembering it wasn't actually directed at him made it a little easier.

"Jefferson! What the hell was that?"

Deciding to just keep it simple and play off the less eloquent, more manic side of Jefferson. This would make life simpler as well while he bit back innuendos and forced himself to keep from staring at her now soaked and tea stained white shirt she wore under her typical red leather jacket that, for the moment, was safe on the back of her chair.

"Ravens. Writing desks."

"What the fuck, Jefferson. I'd be the first to admit that you can be a little crazy at times but this is not like you. Seriously. You haven't said one thing about Grace today, and you normally can't get through a conversation without at least some mention of her and you are always more careful than this, especially when it comes to you and your precious tea. I think… I think this is over for right now. I have better things to do than handle you when you're like this." Walking out the front door Emma called back to Granny and Red behind the counter, "Sorry for the mess, I… I think I need to get back to the station."

Hook leaned back in the chair, waiting, with a smirk containing just a touch too much pirate on Jefferson's stolen lips as he watched for Emma to leave before throwing an extra generous tip on the table. He might be a pirate but he wasn't heartless when it came to a couple of women who would have to clean up a mess that large. Particularly when it wasn't his money he was being generous with.

Giving a salute he walked out the door and headed for the library. He had a certain young librarian to meet. Granny and Red looked at each other with distinct concern. Something was just not right about that one, less right even than usual with that one.

Belle had her arms full, humming quietly to herself as she restocked shelves. People were glad for the knowledge in the old place now that it was available again. Though it made sense, looking back on it, why the library had been closed up before. It didn't just contain the stories of the world they lived in now, it contained those of the old one too. Stories and histories and magic lined the shelves, the good and the bad. There were books that filled Belle with delight just to hold and others she cringed to touch.

"Belle!" Hook shouted at the top of his lungs, watching as the beauty almost toppled from her perch on one of the ladders that allowed her to reach the tops of the taller shelves. He was relieved that she caught herself, though, he was not into being on the receiving end of Gold's wrath… again, even if it was received while in another man's body. "That bloody bastard of a man you have has buggered up everything!"

"Jefferson?" Belle inquired as she traipsed down the ladder, "you don't usually speak like that, what's going… Hook." The remaining books in her arms crashed to the ground as she backed away from him. She didn't trust the man, not since his little visit to her while she was under lock and key with Regina. "Wha… what do you want? Why are you in Jefferson's body?"

Belle was biting back panic, her already large eyes even wider as she left her precious books on the floor and backed away as slowly as possible trying to find her way behind the counter where there were a number of buttons, like those found in a bank. One to summon the Sherriff in case of emergency and one to call her Rumple in case she needed something. The second was the one she needed. While inviting Gold over with Hook there, in any form, and while she was afraid was just inviting trouble but she didn't want to be alone with him.

"Now just relax, pet. I'm not here to hurt you. I just need a favor. That bloody bastard switched me and that imbecile around and I've got a hot date with my girl tonight. I need you to convince him to get us sorted. I know you can." Hook came closer, a leer on his lips that seemed completely out of place on Jefferson's face. "We all know you've got him all tied up between your legs, luv. He'll do anything you ask."

"Will I now?" Mr. Gold stood in the door of the library, leaning on his cane, "and what makes you so sure of that? I believe I had a young man in a similar predicament to yours on my doorstep earlier this morning asking me to do just the same thing you're asking Belle here. He just had the decency to ask me to my face instead of intimidating someone else into doing it for him. However, I will tell you what. Let's make a little deal, shall we?"

There was little more Hook could do but nod as Gold continued. "You never bother Belle again, you stop being a thorn in my side and get your act together and in exchange I will tell you how to break the spell, as remember dearie, all spells can be broken."

"Deal."

"Good. I thought you would say that. Now as all spells this one is simple enough to break. All that needs to happen is Emma getting a kiss from her one true love. Now ah ah ah. I know what you are thinking, why is the kiss for Emma and not you or that Jefferson? Because it is because of your mooning over Miss Swan. And, my favorite part? Her true love might be neither of you." That statement was punctuated by his high pitched giggle before he continued. "Meaning you will both be stuck in each other's bodies until she finds who ever her true love is. And in a land where happily ever after isn't guaranteed who knows when that might be."

"Wait you bastard. What do you mean, this isn't fair."

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you wrecked my shop and bothered Belle. And life here isn't fair, isn't that something they taught you in those rehabilitation classes? Now, unless you'd like to have me make your task a little harder by turning you into a frog I'd suggest you find somewhere else to be. Now."

Hook straightened as he walked out the door. There was still a chance. He could be her true love. Now he just had to find some way to prove it. And to figure out whether she had to kiss him or his body for it to count. Either way, everything was about to get much more interesting.

Meanwhile, in the library Gold wrapped his arms around Belle's waist as she pulled him into a tight embrace, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Does this mean I can come home tonight?"

"Most definitely."