Rebuilding the Broken

Summary: Sequel to Keeping Silent but can be read alone. The three Generals, Zack and Cloud have left Midgar for the sunny shores of Costa de Sol. The four must work hard to banish the last of Cloud's doubts from his mind.

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Cloud was sleeping soundly, a marvellous occurrence of late; his four older lovers agreed. The sunny shores of Costa de Sol had eased the burdens weighing on the blonde cadet's mind. No longer did he wake thrashing and soaked in sweat, fighting off the nightmare of a future long since avoided. His slow, even breathing and peaceful face was the sweetest lullaby to his lovers, something no music could ever emulate.

During the first few days of their vacation the four older men had waited sleepless every night for the nightmares to begin, for the youthful face to contort in terror and forgotten pain, but it didn't occur. Cloud slept on soundly each night and awoke the next day, unaware that the four pairs of mako eyes that welcomed him had watched him all through the night.

Now the pale blonde eyebrows drew together and eyelashes batted themselves slowly against his cheeks. The three generals and Zack had learnt early in the relationship that Cloud had a process to go through in order to wake up. First came the eyebrow and eyelash action, then some small scale shifting around, which was a bit of a nuisance for his lovers if they happened to be spooning Cloud while he shifted, then Cloud would start to cocoon himself in any blankets closest to him before stretching with the flexibility of a cat…or an elastic band, which also caused issues for his older lovers.

The four men found out that constant vigilance over their younger lover got incredibly distracting during this morning routine, especially during the last part of his routine. If Cloud was ever told about the effect this had on his lovers he'd blush to the tips of his blonde hair and sleep until they left the bed because of the embarrassment.

After the first few days the Soldiers began to sleep again too, confident that Cloud had moved past the string of nightmares and back into his usual sleep patterns and the mind frame of the cute and talented cadet.

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Cloud knew that his lovers were watching him, nonstop; it was hard to ignore one burning mako stare and impossible to ignore four. Often during the day he couldn't believe he managed to fall asleep at all and Cloud knew, or rather felt, the effects of his morning routine and hoping they'd stop watching all night because it was creepy, he might have made it worse for them.

Every night when he was once again wondering how in the nine hells he was going to fall asleep, a soothing familiar presence would comfort him and send him into a deep sleep. He remembered the presence would whisper things to him as he feel asleep but he couldn't ever remember what it said. He couldn't name the presence but it was powerful and lovely. If he ever told Genesis he'd start spouting about the Goddess and when Cloud applied that term to the presence he thought it fit. It was kind of nice to pretend he was special enough to have his lovers and the Goddess watching over him.

Cloud would never mention this to the other men, not wanting them to worry any more than usual, but things had been changing for Cloud lately. He felt stronger, faster, things he equated with having mako coursing through your veins. He noticed he was growing taller and filling out from simple training, of course his lovers did too but they assumed it was natural but Cloud was sure that he wouldn't grow until he got the mako injections as a third.

Cloud woke before his lovers one morning and spent an hour staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. For one second he'd blinked and seen his eyes bright and glowing, but he blinked once and they were normal again. He'd learned his lesson last time with not telling his Soldier Firsts everything, but this time he couldn't because he couldn't understand it himself.

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Cloud sat on a beach towel enjoying the sun, while his boyfriends were swimming in the sea. Cloud liked seeing them have fun for once; they didn't have to deal with paper work, or ShinRa in general, and could just be themselves. They knew Cloud didn't have mako and they also knew that he had limits as to long he could play, but he didn't mind watching for time to time in fact watching could often be just as good as participating.

Zack tackled Genesis into the water with a yell and Sephiroth stood there smirking, leaving Angeal to tug Zack off the other First. Cloud smiled at Zack, who caught his eye and beamed back.

The blonde gazed beyond the group of Soldiers and with curious eyes Zack looked in the same direction but found only sea and he turned back to Cloud, who stood and took a few steps towards the water and halted.

Cloud wanted to join his beloveds in the water; it looked so clear…so clear. Something flashed into his mind as a voiced whispered harshly in his ear.

Remember!

He saw himself, staring in a mirror…no, it wasn't him…it was another Cloud from the other future, and he was staring and talking to his reflection.

Remember...remember…you're supposed to remember!

"Remember?" Cloud asked the reflection.

The other Cloud shifted, his mako blue eyes, much like the ones Cloud had glimpsed in his own mirror, bored into him with the intensity of a thunderstorm.

Remember, remember, remember!

He whispered it over and over again, his voice echoing in Cloud's head. It continued to reverberate through Cloud's skull until it vanished. The presence returned and immediately the voice was silenced. Cloud walked into the water, a fake smile plastered over his face and a sugar coated look of happiness in his eyes that buried his turmoil. Cloud had learnt how to fake and deceive at an early age; he'd learnt that mako didn't count for everything during the first few weeks of his dating the Generals and Lieutenant and he learnt during his nightmare stint that while he could trust his lovers with anything, he couldn't trust them not to worry about that anything. He would leave this issue in shadow, for the time being.

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He was beginning to learn… or maybe it would be remembering… things. He remembered how Fenrir always smelt like oil and wax because he obsessively kept it clean and how Tifa's chocolate chip cookies were always soft and warm; the chocolate half melted. He felt a guilt and sadness that was rooted so deep inside him it seemed endless, but he didn't know why.

He looked in the mirror and saw a young man rather than a boy. He saw a Soldier and not a cadet.

That weekend on the beach with the others he received a letter, telling him he'd made Third Class.

What scared him was he wasn't surprised. He'd always been fairly confident in his abilities but now he was sure of what his body could do and how it would do it. As knowledge trickled into his brain from somewhere, the presence appeared more and more, soothing his worry and calming his paranoia, which had blossomed from cautious to irrational in the space of three hours.

The image of the other Cloud became more frequent, the sound of his voice whispering 'remember' became a lullaby at night and still his Soldier boys remained unaware that everything was falling to pieces again.

The next day was his 18th birthday and somehow he knew he'd have to explain himself then. Whatever was happening to him, whatever his pretend Goddess wanted it was being fulfilled by then. The only thing was, Cloud couldn't explain, he still didn't understand why or what was going on. But his body had changed more in the past week than it had in the seventeen years he'd been alive.

He didn't sleep that night. His loves did, they slept soundly and Cloud was thankful for the rest they received and that he had peace to think alone. He looked at the four curled under the fluffy bedspread, and he could make out the little niche that was for him, hell, he could see the cute cadet version of him curled up with them.

Cloud gazed mournfully out at the sea from the balcony that he stood on. He felt older and he wasn't as cute anymore, so would his loves still want him? They'd wanted him after his nightmare episode but he was still a cute cadet then, he hadn't had a growth spurt and muscle tonnage. He wasn't that Cloud, not anymore.

Cloud gripped onto the wooden fencing of the balcony, the strength of his fingers moving through the wood like it was butter. He understood, he knew what was going to happen, he knew.

The presence washed over him to give one last moment of comfort before he wouldn't need a physical bond anymore and then was gone, leaving an unconscious Cloud behind.

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Remember…remember…remember…remember-who-you-are…you're supposed to remember who you are…tell me who you are!

I'm Cloud Strife, guardian of Gaia, defeater of Sephiroth, leader of Avalanche, and I willingly accept the gift the Goddess has granted… may I never fail her…

Cloud awoke the next morning, before the others could conceive the thought of waking, and strode into the bathroom. He already knew what he would see, but he still needed to see it.

His eyes blazed with mako, they burned with the intensity of a thunderstorm. His face was handsome, yet youthful, and his blonde hair was tamer and shorter, but still spiky.

The Cloud from the future, it was him all along. They were one and the same, he just didn't know it, but the Goddess would never abandon her guardian and she took away his memories to pursue his own path until she deemed it time to give them back.

His old memories though precious to him were nowhere near as precious as the ones he'd made as a cadet with the Generals and Zack. He would cherish them as he'd once cherished the friendship he'd had with Zack, because they'd be all he'd have left of his loves.

They wouldn't want him now.

He wasn't their Cloud anymore, he wasn't cute or cuddly or adorable. He didn't look it or act it and he knew that this Cloud wasn't the one they'd fallen in love with. Cloud was older, more mature than the other Cloud, he was more complicated, more trouble than he was worth and he knew he should just leave, before they woke up and he couldn't leave until they damned his heart and told him to.

"I'm sorry Minerva, I'm so sorry, I didn't understand what you meant. I promised not to fail you; I promised that I'd stop it and I didn't realise that you knew and tried to tell me. When I was in the future I saved the world but had no one to share it with and I made the same mistake here. What is the point of having a beautiful planet to only spend your time on it alone?"

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Zack awoke to the sound of his beautiful blonde talking to himself as he slept. He turned to wake the blonde but his spot on the bed was unoccupied and cold. Zack stopped dead and listened with everything he had to Cloud's voice.

"I'm too different for this place… take me away, please?"

Zack reeled back into Angeal in shock. Angeal was alert immediately but Zack was already sliding out of the bed with no answers given. Angeal set about waking the other two after seeing Zack's expression.

They followed Zack to the balcony; all remembering it was Cloud's favourite place to relax. The blonde was sitting, legs dangling between the posts, while his head rested on one of them.

Zack stood in the doorway, watching or waiting for something they couldn't see, while silent tears shone in his eyes. When they reached the threshold they heard it, a beautiful voice that was composed of a melody of a million different voices. It was so ethereal they could not wish it upon themselves to stop listening.

It spoke to all of them, while seemingly speaking only to Cloud.

Is this what you truly wish, my guardian?

Cloud's voiced was broken and sorrowful as he whispered his answer.

"They won't want me like this. Yes, I want to leave. They deserve to be happy not knowing who I've become."

Zack stumbled forward, his need to grasp Cloud more than his need to listen to the voices answers.

"Cloud," he said weakly.

Cloud turned to face them and Zack's voice caught in his throat. Bits of green web began to seep around Cloud and cling to him. Zack watched as beautiful blue eyes turned from him in pain, waiting for judgment.

Zack turned that face back towards him and pulled the still smaller body to him. He brought his lips to Cloud's ear.

"You're more beautiful than she said you were, think about that."

He pulled away and saw the flash of hope that pierced the storm in the blue eyes and the green began to pull Zack away from Cloud.

"Wait-no," Cloud said, desperately clawing at the green, "What do you mean? Zack? Please…no!" he cried, as the green overtook him and dissipated into shiny green rain. The three Generals stood, staring at the rain that blew away on the wind.

"He thought we didn't love him because he wasn't Cloud the cadet anymore," Zack said morosely, "We should've seen the signs of the change and told him."

Angeal pulled the younger First Class to him. "It's too late now. The only thing we can do is wait and pray to Minerva that she'll bring him back."

Sephiroth scowled and stalked out onto the balcony and stared at the sea, "If he's stupid enough to think that we'd stop loving him because he grew up, then I hope the fool never comes back."

"Seph, don't say that!" Zack yelled, pushing away from Angeal, "It's not his fault and you know it. If anything it's ours. We didn't see the changes despite hearing about them from the Goddess herself, we didn't think it important enough to tell him and we spent the whole night in bed together without even realising he was gone in the first place. So if he's a fool, what does that make us?"

"It doesn't matter now, does it? He's already gone," Genesis, said sorrowfully, "All that awaits you is the sombre morrow, no matter where the winds may blow."

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The bed they shared at the beach house in Costa de Sol was cramped. The bed simply did not have enough room for all of them. Zack shifted again in the small space he had allocated and tried not to wake anyone as he tried to get comfy. His space seemed to grow smaller in the time it took for them all to go to bed and now.

With a grouchy mental tirade, he cracked his eyes open. It was pitch black but with mako that didn't matter. With slow movement he rolled over, into someone's un-brushed and perpetually messy hair.

Zack rejoiced at this on the inside, still quite aware of the others he shared the bed with, and allowed the sleeping face a soft smile. He may have a face full of hair but he had his Spiky back. Suddenly he understood why he had less room than when he started but that was okay, it gave him a reason to hold their guardian close.

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A/N- I tried to make this stand-alone but I think I failed, oh well, I hope you enjoyed it anyway.

I would really appreciate it if you review but no biggie if you don't.