Petty
Disclaimer: Don't own anything
Summary: Zack just wants one thing. It isn't big or expensive. He just wants something small and cute that will share the bed he has with his lovers and hopefully make their family complete. Only Reno can help him on this one.
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Denied. The only thing Zack ever wanted and he wasn't allowed to have it. It wasn't a troubling thing, not troubling at all; he just wanted something small, cute and cuddly.
"…But why not?" Zack whined at Angeal
Angeal sighed for the umpteenth time. "You know why. Cats hate Seph, the kind of hate that leads to pain and blood and death. Genesis is allergic to dogs and you don't want a fish."
Zack looked pleadingly at Angeal. "What about the other ideas I suggested?"
Angeal lips pursed, and Zack cringed. "No snakes and absolutely NO mice! Honestly, why don't we just get a fish?"
Zack shook his head vigorously. "Fish don't do anything but float there. I don't want a fish, Seph doesn't want a fish, and Genesis doesn't want a fish. The only one who wants a fish is you."
Angeal spluttered in indignation. He looked towards Genesis- who was reading Loveless the graphic novel- but was disappointed when he just shrugged, not even looking up from his book. Angeal turned to Sephiroth, who was cooking in the kitchen quiet expertly. Sephiroth looked up from the recipe he was following. "Zack's right. Nobody wants a fish."
"Well, until any of you come up with a better idea, the fish is the only option we can handle," Angeal said, ignoring Zack's upset expression.
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Zack refused to let this go. He wanted a pet, something cute, cuddly and something that could sleep on their bed at night and keep them even more warm than usual and when they wake they'll smile at how adorable it is.
But he wasn't allowed a dog, a cat, a mouse or a snake.
Zack didn't know what to do. He had no more ideas for pets.
"Goddamn cats for hating Seph. Goddamn allergies. Goddamn Angeal's want for normal pets and goddamn fish for existing in the first place!"
"Hey Zack!" A loud redhead, who wasn't Genesis, called out from behind Zack. Zack turned and saw Reno sidling over. He slowed down and waited for the redheaded Turk to catch up. Reno appeared at his side, wearing his trademark smirk.
"I heard you were having trouble locating your first family pet," Reno said, his smirk widening.
Zack ran a hand through his wild hair. "Yeah, Angeal's vetoing pretty much every idea we have, except for a fish."
Reno whistled in commiseration. "No one wants a fish, I thought everyone on Gaia knew that."
"Everyone, except Angeal," Zack replied with a loving smile directed at the imaginary Angeal with a fish, in his head.
Reno coughed and Zack left his imaginary world to pay attention to his friend. Reno was back to smirking. "I know a place where you can a great pet, that Angeal will approve of."
Zack perked up and paid more attention to what the redhead was saying; despite the shiny shiny he could see in his peripherals. "Go on."
"Well, sparing you the rather interesting and juicily detailed story. I've been to this place a couple of times and it's rather good, lots of good pets for a complete family. Here have the details."
Reno tossed a small business card at Zack, who caught it easily and slipped it into his pocket without even a glance at it. He didn't notice Reno swagger off into the Vice-Presidents Office.
Reno had struck a chord and he probably knew it too. The four highest-ranking men in ShinRa, while happy with each other, still didn't feel complete. Their amazing relationship wasn't whole yet, someone or something was missing, hence the pet.
He walked into the apartment the four men shared, without a knock as an announcement. The three Generals were already home, going about their daily routines. Sephiroth was cooking, Genesis was buried in another obscure fan-made book of Loveless and Angeal was reading a 'better homes and gardens' magazine. The slight sting left by Reno's comment disappeared; he was lucky to have what he did.
"Hey," Zack called and successfully gained each of their attentions, "Reno suggested a place to get a good pet," he said excitedly, holding up the business card.
"Oh really," Genesis said, disdain clear in his tone, "It wouldn't happen to be a human pet store would it. Vile Turk."
Zack shrugged. "I dunno, actually. I never looked at the card." Zack looked down at the black card with silver writing.
Chocobo Farm
Located between Midgar and Kalm
PH: 9686 7235
Email: Little Blonde Chocobo Handler Looking For A Hot ARGH YUFFIE Midgarmail . com
On the back Reno had written, when you get there ask for Cloud. Tell Him R&R told you to come by.
"Oh okay. It's a chocobo farm, guys."
The three men nodded in approval. "That's actually a good idea," Genesis said, "However, he's still a vile Turk."
Zack wiggled closer to the three men. "Does that mean we're going?"
"Yes," Angeal replied.
"YAY!" Zack crowed and commenced his happy dance, until Angeal made him stop because he broke a vase.
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Zack was grumbling in the back of the car his lovers had 'borrowed' for their trip to the chocobo farm.
"We're soldiers, why do we even have a vase there? Why do we have vases at all?"
Angeal and Genesis were finding it easy to ignore him, having brought their reading material with them. Seph, who was driving, was finding it much harder. What Zack thought of as quiet grumbling was actually rather obnoxious, irritating grumbling- that Sephiroth could hear even if he was back at ShinRa and Zack was here, in the middle of a dirt road with fields of wheat and farms for company.
Luckily for Sephiroth, just when Zack's complaining was beginning to get unbearable and he'd already imagined slamming the car into a tree at least three times to escape it, he saw the cheerful sign that announced they had reach the chocobo farm.
Stepping out of the car, Zack felt the need to announce happily a word that summed pretty much everything Sephiroth was also thinking.
"Finally."
"You never spoke truer word," Sephiroth mumbled, looking innocently ahead when Zack turned sharply in his direction. Sephiroth allowed a small smile to grace his lips and then proceeded towards the large wooden cottage with a barn and ranch behind it, whistling a happy tune all the way.
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The four men were greeted, once inside the cottage, by a loud screech emanating from somewhere on the second story. With just a little trepidation, seeing as it sounded like someone had just recently been murdered, Angeal rang the bell on the counter.
There was a terrible thundering from the floor above and a loud call of 'I'll get it,' before someone was bounding down the stairs and had appeared behind the counter.
"Welcome to Cloud needs a date and make it a guy, I'm Yuffie and I'll be your friendly chocobo handler for today."
Zack blinked once, then twice and then once again. This girl was in no way older than 15 and the energy that she displayed was equivalent to him having five espressos in a row. And who needs a date?
Zack carefully squished and wiggled his way past his boyfriends to the counter.
"Hi, I'm Zack, we were sent by R&R and we would like to talk to Cloud?" Zack asked the girl-Yuffie, and before he could blink again she was bounding back up the stairs. Her voice crashed back down to them as she yelled at someone.
"CID! WHERE'S CLOUD? SOME HOTTIES ARE HERE FOR HIM! SHOULD I TIE HIM UP AND JUST HAND HIM OVER, IT MIGHT HELP HIS STRESS ISSUES!"
They all winced as a gruff voice yelled back and Sephiroth death-glared the roof.
"HE'S SEEIN' TA' ALICE AND CHESSH! TAKE EM' OUT THERE! AND TELL 'IM HE'S NOT PAYED TO FOOL AROUN' WITH HUMANS!"
With that slightly horrifying conversation over, Yuffie bounded back down the stairs and out the back door into the yard. The four men of ShinRa followed the loud girl and hoped that dreadful yelling wasn't a habit.
The yard was a large open space with chocobo's milling around, eating grass, sleeping and/or enjoying the sun. In the middle of the yard was a young blonde human-chocobo mix trying to get two rather irate chocobos to follow him.
Zack was struck. The perfect pet, he'd found it and he hadn't even started looking. The wild spikes that imitated a chocobo's feathers but looked a lot softer, the lightly tanned skin and the bright blue eyes completed the lightly muscled build on the smaller than average body. He was perfect.
"CLOUD!" Yuffie called, signalling to the blonde to come over.
The blonde looked up from glaring at the two chocobos who were eyeing their chick disapprovingly. He waved at Yuffie and jogged over.
"What's up, Yuf'?" He glanced behind her and his eyes light up in understanding.
"Oh, customers."
Zack had never wanted to hug something so much.
"Yeah, apparently R&R sent them and they specifically asked for you. So get to it!" Yuffie shooed Cloud and the Soldiers and ran off fist-pumping the air.
Cloud glanced between the customers and the two chocobos he'd left behind in the middle of the field. He could show the customers around the pens after he dealt with the elderly chocobos.
"If you'll just follow me, there's something I have to finish up and then I'll show you round the pens," Cloud said and walked back over to Alice and Chessh.
Zack halted the others before they followed the blonde. The three generals looked at their youngest lover in confusion.
"I know what pet I want," Zack stated, with a mixture of glee and determination.
"Already?" Angeal asked.
Zack nodded and glanced back at Cloud, who was sternly giving the 'speech' to the chocobos.
"I want him."
The three generals looked at each other in puzzlement.
"You want a chocobo named 'him'? Are you sure? 'Cause in all honesty I want the human-chocobo in the tight jeans," Genesis said, checking out Cloud's ass for the fifth time.
Sephiroth nodded in agreement. "No pet imaginable would be more welcome in my bed."
Zack sighed in annoyance. "That is what I meant by 'him,' but at he is over there I thought discretion would be wise."
"I see," remarked Sephiroth, "However on a more important note, as we are all agreed on taking Cloud home with us, I propose we figure out how?"
Zack deflated a bit from his happy bubble of images, mainly surrounding him feeding Cloud treats and stroking his hair. "Oh yeah, right?"
"Why don't we get to know him while he shows us around and wing it from there?" Genesis suggested.
And so it was agreed that they wanted Cloud in place of the baby chocobo they were going to get. Zack was definitely okay with that because Cloud was cuter anyway.
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"So what's your favourite colour?" Genesis asked, as Cloud led the men out of the yard and towards the barn, with the elder chocobos in tow.
Cloud glanced back at the Red General, as he stepped into the barn, opened the nearest pen and shooed the chocobos inside.
"I don't have a favourite but I have a few that I prefer. I like black, silver and red. I think they look really good together and apart."
Cloud patted Alice and Chessh on their heads absently before turning to face the four soldiers.
"So what are you guys looking for? Baby chocobo? Black chocobo? Full-grown? Egg? Long-distance? Sprinter?"
Cloud listed their stock off, while Zack zoned out and started to stare openly at the blonde. He came back to his senses just as Cloud rounded off his list.
"Uh-well. We want something cute, small, cuddly, adorable and on the yellow side in terms of…feathers," Zack said, watching the blonde's expression carefully. It remained perfectly innocent.
"Ok, so baby chocobo it is," Cloud announced and led them further into the barn. Slowly and carefully, Sephiroth was edging closer to Cloud as they made their way through the barn to the chick pen. When the group reached it, he was right next to the tiny handler.
Angeal, Genesis and Zack pretended to inspect the tiny chocobos and Sephiroth continued to quiz Cloud about anything and everything.
"Home town?"
"Nibelhiem."
"Parents?"
"My mother is none existent as of 5 years ago and my father is around."
"My condolences. Age?"
"Thank you. 18."
"Extended family?"
"Uncle Cid, who owns the farm, Yuffie- my adopted cousin, Reno- my soon- to- be brother-in-law and Rufus, my half brother."
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at the last two. That explained how Reno knew to come here for their pet, and the family resemblance between the Vice president and Cloud.
"I see. Then I guess you know exactly who we are?"
Cloud grinned, eyes sparkling with humour. "Yep! Though you're a lot different than I expected."
Now they were all interested. Hopefully, it wouldn't be 'you're not the monster we thought you were going to be' spiel.
Cloud craned his neck to look up at Sephiroth. "You're a lot taller than you look on the TV."
Zack burst out laughing at the kid's adorableness and Sephiroth chuckled at the totally left-field comment.
"Aw, you are adorable!" Genesis exclaimed, glomping the blonde.
"He may be adorable but he's go' work ta' do. Strife! Didn't I tell ya' to fool around with humans in ya' own time. I'm payin' ya' to handle the chocobos, not the Generals and their Lieutenant's interests in you. You're off in an hour!"
Cid stalked back out of the barn, crushing his cigarette under his foot and lightning another. Cloud was left blushing, his face squished against Genesis' red leather coat. He carefully peeled himself away.
"Well, that was humiliating. So what pet do you want? I need to get back to work."
Zack smiled slyly. "Well, I wouldn't call it a pet. It's more of a companion, though it's still cuddly and cute, small and yellow- at least on top it is, I'm not sure if it's natural yet. It also happens to be related to the guy who runs our company, any guesses as to which chocobo we picked?"
Cloud's eyes got wider and wider as Zack continued his description until at the end they took up at least most of his face. He opened his mouth but nothing was coming out.
"Ah-I-ah…huh?'
Angeal smirked and gently steered the boy back into the cottage.
"We'll be back in an hour to pick you up," he said, giving Cloud a small kiss on the forehead.
Genesis walked past the blonde next and slowed to kiss his cheek. Cloud was still frozen in shock but his blush deepened to a rosy pink when Sephiroth kissed his other cheek.
Finally Zack gave the blonde a small parting peck on the lips.
Somewhere in the background, Yuffie screamed in victory.
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To: R&R
Plan worked. C is responding well (ie. Running round the yard shirtless). Celebration underway. Bring cake. –Yuf
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Hoped you enjoyed the in flight movie brought to by 'Cloud needs a hot date –shut up Yuffie!'
Reviews would be nice.
Any discrimination shown towards fish in this story was not intentional. Fish are fine creatures for the people who don't have time to look after anything else.
Love,
Tawnyeyes