Five years ago

Bonnie took one last look at herself in the mirror before she walked down the steps of the house she grew up in. Black mini skirt, black shirt and leather jacket, black riding boots to top it off tonights the night she thought. She grabbed her car keys and purse and is was almost out the door when she bumps into her nemesis. Damon was leaning against her door frame with that stupid smirk on his face. "What do you want Damon, I'm late."

"You got plans with Professor Sneaky, I don't think so, and I don't trust him." He smirks.

"I don't care if you don't trust him, I do. Now get out of my way." she tries to side step him but he blocks her escape.

She sighs and crosses her arms, ever since they figured out that Elena was sired to him and not in love with him Damon had thrown all of his energy into well everything. He was driving Bonnie nuts. It had taken Elena until graduation to finally get up the nerve to face up to the fact she was not in love with him. He had taken it pretty well all things considered. He had ample warning I mean she slept with him 24 hours after breaking up with his brother. That should have been the first sign that something was off but he had been so happy that someone had chosen him he ignored the warning. They had tried to make it work. They went out of romantic dates, on vacations, had sex and did all the things couples did but deep down inside he knew her heart wasn't in it and he gave up. He released her from his sire hold on graduation night and she went straight back to his brother. He thought Elena was a little slutty when it came down to it.

After graduation Elena and Caroline decided to attend Mystic Falls Community College, their grades suffered so much over the past years that they were happy to be accepted. Bonnie ever the studious student went to Whitmore. Her grades never slipped even when things were at there worst. Maybe it was because she had no man in her life but she didn't care. She had developed a huge crush on Professor Shane and he was in Mystic falls for a conference over the schools Thanksgiving break. She knew he was attracted to her, he found these odd moments to touch her and he always listened to everything she had to say, so when he asked Bonnie out for dinner she said of course.

"Move Damon!"

"Why can't you just listen to me once woman and stop being so stubborn?"

"Why can't you get a life?" she said and with the flip of her wrist slammed him into the tree in her front yard. She jumped into her Prius and floored it, leaving a stunned Damon wiping the dirt off of his clothes.

The night was going perfectly, dinner went well and she tried to hide her excitement when afterwards Shane asked her up to his suite for a drink. She thought You're 19 but don't show it.

"Would you like a glass of wine?"

"No thank you" They talked for little longer and she didn't stop him when he touched her or when he reached over to push a strand of hair behind her ear. Sitting on the small couch in his room he moved a little closer. She gazed into his eyes and suddenly lost her nerve. Bonnie tried to appear sophisticated but she suddenly she felt out of her league and uneasy.

"You need a drink it will help you relax" He smiled.

She was so nervous; maybe a drink would help her relax. "Sure." She said enthusiastically.

He walked over to bar and turned around smiling, "Here you go."

He sat back down a little closer than he was before and placed his arm around her shoulders. Bonnie drank up nervously.
He leaned over and kissed her on the lips and she immediately felt wrong. "Wait a minute, I don't think…" she murmured when he tried to kiss her. She tried to push get up but he pulled her back down on the couch.

"Shane wait" pushing him away, "stop it, I'm not ready…whoa…" Bonnie thought she was going to have to use her powers to stop him when suddenly she feels dizzy. " Wait stop please." She slurs.

Her body wouldn't work. Her magic didn't work. He pushes her down on the small couch and kisses her again sloppily. No, she wants to say but her mouth didn't do as her mind told it. "This isn't happening, this isn't happening." Her mind screams.

He murmurs into her ear that this is their destiny that she was his Providence. Bonnie wants to move, she wants to scream! This isn't happening she thinks.

She lies there as he removes her panties, she feels it when he enters her. She has saved herself, saved herself for this. To be raped by a man she trust, someone she is attracted to, a human. He moves on top of her as she lies there paralyzed. He looks up into her eyes and sees the tears. Whispering to her "I know, we are so beautiful together, My Bonnie." He sings as he looked into her eyes, "my Bonnie lies over the ocean, my Bonnie lies over the sea…" She wants to die.

When it is finally over, he kisses her sloppily on the lips again and goes to shower. She lays there paralyzed with shock. What just happened she thinks. Her mind won't let her hold a coherent thought. Whatever he gave her begins to wear off and she crawls on all fours to the dresser, pulling herself up she looks into the mirror and and straigtens up her clothes. Walking back to the couch she hisses as she pulls on her panties, noticing a trickle of blood on her inner thighs. She blinks when she see it and for some reason Damon pops into her mind. Hearing the shower go off she looks around frantically grabbing her purse and keys off the dresser and runs. She doesn't stop when the doorman ask her if she is okay. She somehow finds her little car; makes it home and goes straight upstairs to the shower.

How could she have been such a fool? She despised fools! " I won't says anything." She decides. I will put it all behind her and pretend it never happened, after all she liked him, and she had a crush on him. What if everyone knew! Oh God Damon! He would look at her and know that she had… that he had… he would think that... he was a vampire, he would smell it on her. If he said something she would never recover. She would start screaming and never stop! She wouldn't think about it ever again. She would pretend it never happened.

She stood up and looked at her swollen eyes in the mirror, "It never happened. It never happened. You are going to be okay Bonnie" she says outloud, her voice is so small she barely recognizes it. My voice is small now like me she thinks. He made me small. She walks into the bathroom and not even taking her clothes off she gets into the shower. That is when she cries. She cries for what she lost, what he took and what she will never get back.

Shane was a human, she trusted him, Damon had warned her but she didn't listen, he was a vampire, not to be trusted. Vampires had taken things from her, hurt her, said horrible things to her. She lost her mother, Grams and Jeremy to vampires. She couldn't trust them, she thought she could trust Shane. She was wrong. She was wrong.

She ripped her clothes off of her body and scrubbed herself raw. She had to get his hands, his smell, his filth off of her. Tomorrow was thanksgiving and she was spending it with her friends. She had to make it so no one knew, so no one would ever know.

A hour later with the hot water gone Bonnie climbed out of the shower , put on her I love cupcakes pajamas and crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep.