The last thing they remembered was being caught in a gold beam and, as a result of some miracle, landing gently on the surface of Earth tangled in the useless parachute.
She remembered he had tried to stand, but a bright green light had blinded them, as they fell to the ground.
Her eyes flew open, and the first thing she saw was another man- he clearly wasn't the president.
He had on a stained blue shirt, and had short brown hair. He seemed to be bending over something- or someone, she thought, with a shudder. Sensing that no one was looking, she slowly stood up, approaching the man, she hit him over the head, forcing him into a defenseless position.
He tried to yell, but it was in vain.
"What'd you do with the president! Why'd you bring us here? Are you a part of it?"
But before he could answer, they were around her, with their guns out.
And the president was with them.
His hands were free, and he seemed to be talking to the man in the yellow shirt.
She wanted to call out, but thought that that might make the situation worse. She dropped the defenseless man.
The president came up to her, taking her hand.
"They're not here to hurt us- they're just as confused as we are," he whispered.
Once she knew she was safe-at least for the moment- she took a good look at them as the president resumed his conversation with the man.
Including the man she had pinned down, there appeared to be 7 of them- 8 if the thing laying on the ground was a living thing.
Only one female, she thought to herself. They surely didn't know much about sexism.
She was tallish- five seven, maybe- with dark skin and a mass of short, brown hair. Her uniform- which might've been a vibrant red if it wasn't covered in dirt and- she thought with a shiver- blood.
Standing alongside the woman were 2 young men, wearing yellow shirts. One was Asian and had his arms crossed across his chest. His hight of about six feet allowed him to tower over the other man, who was only about five-nine. This one was pale, with a scruff of brown hair, and seemed to be in a heated conversation with the woman.
Autumn glanced over to the president, who stood with the remainder of the men. Well, except for the one she had encountered earlier, who was back to tending the something laying on the ground.
The one with the redshirt seemed older- maybe in his late 30's, judging by his hair, which showed a few grey hairs- and was listening intently to the conversation. Next to him was another something, Autumn thought with a shudder, as she looked more closely. He- she guessed it was a he- looked like a mix between a chinese person, a rabbit, and a basketball player. He wore a blue shirt and had greenish, yet still flesh-colored skin, odd, pointed ears, pitch-black almond-shaped eyes, and- weirdest of them all- eyebrows that were more tilted than usual. Like a basketball player, he towered over the others, and she couldn't even guess how tall he was.
That left the man the president was conversing with. This one was neither tall nor short, with sandy-brown hair and pleasantly tanned skin. He had a rouge, Indiana-Jonesish look and gave her a once-over, ending with a pleasing smile.
The president turned towards Autumn.
"Sermons, I'd like you to meet Captain James Kirk. Kirk, this is Sermons- she's from the CIA."
Kirk smiled, as Autumn looked shyly at the ground. Who in God's name were these people?
"Sermons, now as I've explained to Mr. Obama, who finally believes me after, erm, a bit of struggle, we have no idea about this plan to kill the president. In fact, we've never been here before- our instruments gave out after the attack. We're from the starship Enterprise, part of the United Federation of Planets, and..."
He trailed off, presumably seeing the incredulous look on her face. Facing the president, he shook his head.
"Please try to believe me- it was 2,524 the last time I checked- October 15, 2,524 I think. And our starship, it was caught in some sort of attack or forcefield, even we can't figure it out. Our crew is gone- once again, we don't know what happened- Mr. Spock here is working on that."
Here he gestured at the odd-looking one.
"We've got one injured, pretty severely. And we'd have stayed up on the ship, but the oxygen levels are dangerously low, and-"
"Are you high?"
Crap. She hadn't meant to say that.
Luckily, he didn't seem angry, and the one in the red let out a small chuckle.
"Please believe us-"
"We believe you."
Autumn turned to the president- how was he not suspicious?
"Mr. President-" she attempted to whisper, but he stomped on her foot, shutting her up. Taking her away from the group, he began to whisper in her ear.
"I know it sounds crazy, but we've got to at least pretend to believe them- they have weapons, we don't."
Autumn sighed. As usual, he was right.
"Yes sir. But really- 2,524?"
"It could be. I mean, when have you ever seen something that looks like that one- Spuck, I think."
From what Autumn was told- and, as a top CIA analyst, she was basically told everything- NASA had made contact with extraterrestrial life, but were still planning the mission to visit them.
Was it possible that they had paid a visit first?
Turning to Kirk, Autumn said, "Captain, I think there's been a slight misunderstanding. If you've been contacted by NASA, this is the wrong branch of government."
The one in the red murmured something about that old organization, but the tall one put a stop to that.
Kirk slowly shook his head.
"NASA? They haven't been around for a few centuries- I mean, they're highly revered, for helping found the Federation, but they're mission have been transferred over to Starfleet."
Seeing their looks, he further explained.
"Starfleet? United Federation of Planets? Klingons, Romulans? Vulcans? Earth?"
That got a reaction out of both Autumn and the president, and they were rewarded with another of Kirk's smiles.
"Oh, you're from Earth too? Which country? I'm originally from Iowa, in the United States of America. Do you know where-?"
Autumn turned to the president, her mouth hanging open. Before he could say anything, she blurted, "Do you know who he is! Barack Obama? President of the United States!"
James Kirk looked at her with an odd look.
"President of America? Not prime minister? There's only 1 president- the president of the Federation!"
"No, and I don't even know what this Federation is. And what in the world is a Klingon?"
At this, the president decided to intervene.
"It seems, Mr. Kirk, that we are both confused. But, do I ask, where do you presume we are if it is not on Earth?"
The expression on Kirk's face was priceless.
"Not on Earth? Hell, we could be anywhere! Rigel 3, Atomus 54, Vulcan, anywhere in the universe! We were attempting to enter orbit around Sagittarius 6 when something seemed to pull on us and we were wrecked and-"
Here he stopped, as if he remembered something.
"Barack Obama?"
The president smiled, "At your service."
"I remember learning about you in history class- you were an awful president your first term- bad with money. But during your second term, you managed to end the recession, and finally made contact with extraterrestrial life, and-"
"Wait, SECOND term?"
Kirk let out a laugh, "Of course! In the end, you were considered one of the greatest historical figures to ever-"
"But I'm still in my first term! Half the country hates me, like usual, and I didn't think I'd win. That's why we were flying to China -to discuss the debt and then travel to a secret meeting about, stuff..."
"What year is it?" asked Kirk.
Autumn replied, "It's October 15, 2012. And we are most definitely on Earth. Where on Earth, I don't know, but definitely on this planet."
The tall one interrupted here, "Logically, it seems as if we have time traveled. Which one of us has time traveled, I do not know."
This was too much for Autumn. "You mean that all this stuff- Klingons, the Federation, everything- it's all from the future?"
The president interrupted, only to say, "And I'm re-elected?"
The "Spock" one shook his head. "In our universe, you are re-elected. However, if we are in your present time- 2012-history is subject to change. Yet, if we are in another time, your re-election will be definite."
"But how do we figure out where and when we are?"
Kirk smiled sadly, "We'll have to figure it out on our own, I guess. But I hope we're near civilization- Christine needs immediate help!"
At this, the group dispersed- with Kirk and Spock going back over to the wounded person, and the president sitting down, requesting some alone time when Autumn went to talk to him.
Autumn sat down in the grass, observing her surroundings for the first time. Anything to take her mind off the ludicrous information she was just given.
The air wasn't too bad- it was warm outside. Judging by the tall palm trees and lush fauna, they were in a tropical climate- Bora Bora, maybe? She stood up, and, after walking for about 4 minutes, she could make out a beautiful beach, covered with white sand. Beyond that stretched the turquoise ocean- the Pacific, she assumed. It would've been beautiful, if they hadn't been almost assassinated earlier that day or if they hadn't been trapped here with Kirk and officers.
"Enjoying the view?" asked a voice behind her. Upon turning around, she saw the man she'd (accidentally, of course) attacked.
"Sure, but aren't you afraid that I'll knock you down again? If I were you, I'd be afraid."
He rolled his eyes, "I know, but I get why you did it. Would've done the same if it were I. But don't even think about trying that again."
She sat down in the grass, "So, why'd you wander out here? Not to see the view, I'd guess."
He joined her sitting down, "Actually, I just needed to get away from them back there. I know, I know, it's wrong to leave the patient, but Spock's keeping watch on her now. He knows how to circulate the blood, but if we can't get proper equipment..."
"Do you know...are you friends?" asked Autumn, not knowing if the victim was a boy or girl.
"Yeah. She's my head nurse, Christine. She's also a close friend of mine. If I lose her..."
Autumn knew how he felt- she had lost fellow friends during her time at the CIA. It hurt more than most people knew.
"I hope she makes it. I mean, I know how it feels. I've had friends who've died while executing strategies. And-"
She noticed that his eyes were fixated on her. She looked down, astonished to see that her skirt was ripped, along with her tights, exposing her legs (luckily it wasn't No-Shave November yet) . Her black blazer was long gone- lost in the crash, she assumed, and her white shirt was very see through- the reason she'd worn the blazer to begin with.
He looked up as she stood up quickly, pulling the remnants of her skirt down. They shared a guilty look.
"Umm, I think the Captain and the president might be organizing a search party-"
"Yeah, I should go."
Autumn scurried off, embarrassed. Why hadn't anyone told her that she looked so ridiculous? Unless they'd all been enjoying it, something she seriously doubted.
It wasn't that she was ugly or anything- she knew she wasn't. Growing up, she'd always been a bit overweight (okay, maybe more than a bit), with braces and acne. During high school she'd been teased about her weight, and once she'd gotten into Columbia to study biochemistry, she'd ignored her looks all together.
It was also during college she'd had outgrown her acne and had gotten the braces off. Thanks to student loans and the lack of a car, she'd lost some of the weight. It wasn't like she was super skinny or anything, but she was a size eight and was pretty fit, which was a big improvement from before. During that time, she'd evolved into something actually bearable to look at.
She reached into her coat pocket, pulling out her handy-dandy compact. Of course, the top had broken off, but the mirror remained, which was good in case they had to build a fire or something.
As she'd known, her hair was a mess. Usually straight and sleek- full thanks to Pantene hair products-, her long ponytail was a mess, frizzy and filled with dirt and matted. Her cheeks were also dirty and she had to spit on her hand to try to wipe off some of the dried blood.
She felt a small twinge of pain, and looked down, only to see that her reading glasses (previously in her shirt pocket) had shattered all over shirt, drawing blood.
Autumn sighed- she certainly didn't want to take the shirt off- she only had on a, well, she just didn't want to take it off, ok.
One more twinge of the glass and she had her answer. There was a stream near by where she could wash off the blood.
She quickly unbuttoned the shirt, heading over to the stream, where she washed her shirt. Hiding in the bushes, she wrung out the wet mess.
And that's when she heard someone say "Ouch!"
Someone who wasn't the doctor. A voice she hadn't heard before.
Of course, she chose this moment to let go of her shirt, letting it drift downstream.
"Who's there? Which one of Kirk's friends are you?"
A rustling came and the person emerged. From what she could see, he was wearing a wrinkled suit (probably Armani), leather shoes, and a red necktie.
"Kirk, who's that? And-"
"Mitt Romney?"
She instantly recognized him- the president's election rival from the Republican party.
"Autumn Sermons, what in holy Toledo are you doing here?"
He knew her- many people in government at least knew of her.
"I mean, I don't know where here is, but there was a plan-"
It suddenly dawned on her that he might've officiated the plan. She grabbed his ankles, which didn't do much good since she was still hiding in the bush, "Was it you who tried to kill us?"
He gave her an odd look, "Kill you, what? No! My team and I were just flying overhead, en route to Hawaii for some campaigning- not that I need it or anything- when something went wrong. There was a loud bang, like a door closing, and then silence. And then an explosion- thought someone was trying to assassinate me! And now we're here..."
He had no answers either, then.
"So the same thing happened to you? Who's we?"
From where she was hidden, he could only see her face.
"Well, let's see. There's me, and then there's my assistant, Martha. And then, um, Leah and Caitlyn."
Martha was Romney's well known assistant. Some said he only picked her since she was hot, but Autumn knew that she was actually smart. Sometimes.
"Sorry to ask, but who are Leah and Caitlyn."
Romney looked uncomfortable. "Just, erm, traveling companions, if you know what I mean."
It didn't take a genius to "know what he meant." She decided to leave the subject at that.
"Are you here with the president," he asked.
"Yeah. And, no offense, he probably won't be too happy to see you. And then there's some other people we saw. It's kind of a long story, but-"
"Sorry Sermons, but can you come out. I don't like talking to bushes."
"Sorry Mr. Romney, but I've kind of had an accident and I'm not exactly wearing a shirt, and-"
Romney smiled, "Then I demand you come out this instant!"
"Mr. Romney!"
"Just kidding. Eh- Leah! Pass me a shirt. No, I don't want to show, just give me the article of clothing."
Minutes later Autumn emerged, clothed in a tight black turtleneck. Kirk's men were sure to enjoy that.
Even if the president (whom she was loyal to, even if she was a registered Republican) objected, Autumn felt it her duty to show Romney and his party back to where the rest were congregated.
The moment they emerged, the talking between the men ceased. The president began to say "what the hell is he doing here," but stopped when he saw Martha, Leah, and Caitlyn. The only ones who didn't seem to be entranced by their looks were Uhura, who starred awkwardly at the ground and Mr. Spock, who looked forward, expressionless.
"Obama."
"Romney."
And that was all that was said between the two, even after Kirk had explained his story (with the help of Mr. Spock) to Romney's party. Autumn had been forced to choke up her story, and, along with the rest of Kirk's men, been forced to act as a moderator between the two.
And after 3 and 1/2 hours, Romney seemed to be satisfied with all of their explanations.
And they built and fire, settling down, safe at last.
Safe until they were all awakened by the high pitched yell of, "Professor, come quick, look what I found!"
** Author's Note: I also don't own the Gilligan's Island characters. Oh well.**