JANUARY: School starts up after break, and we all can notice that Jade isn't here.
The school is under construction behind the playground, which includes breaking the fence down. They're making a big neighborhood.
It's the day we met, you teach me to climb a tree. The teachers end up seeing us; we climb even higher. We're at the top, and cheer loudly, hands in the air and everything. But then there's a snap, and I can see you fall off. I catch you.
Dad and Bro have to pick us up because we get in a lot of trouble for doing that. They come at the same time. The teachers ask them to leave, that they're upsetting the students.
FEBRUARY: It's Valentines day, I give you and Rose a card. I keep one for Jade incase she comes back.
I get a message on Pesterchum, and it's a green text. It's Jade. She explains that Gramps had to pull her out, but not by his choice. I tell her I love and miss her.
MARCH: At school, the bullies start taunting me again. As always, I ignore. But not for long. They start saying stuff like Moms dead. That I have no mom. That they read the article and I killed her. It was all my fault. I run home crying.
I refuse to leave my room for two weeks.
You visit me everyday after school. When you find out what happened, you get really really angry.
Next night you're holding me.
"Dave, where's your mommy and daddy?"
"Not here." You snort
APRIL: I get forced to go back to school by Dad. I don't tell him what happened.
I figure out the bullies got beaten up by you, and you got suspended for three weeks.
I'm nine, and you visit me. You got me a pair of shades. When I ask why, you say only the coolest of cool kids wear them. I'm officially a cool kid. Rose gives me a book. She notes I need to boost my reading level. Jade draws me a picture, sending it over the computer.
There's a new kid while you're gone. His name is Eridan, and he really likes scarfs and fish puns.
You come back.
MAY: You come to my house an hour after school has ended. You hug me and I hug you back. You begin crying, and I don't know why, but you keep repeating the same thing over and over, "I'm a freak, I'm a freak."
"No you're not" you don't listen.
You stay for the night.
It's the next day and you let us know you got a phone.
JUNE: It's a week since school went out, Rose gets a Pesterchum.
You make sure to keep contact with me some way over break. You end up visiting me around midnight, not long after I fell asleep. You shake me awake and wrap me in a tight hug, but don't tell me what's wrong. You never do.
You try to hide it, but even though your quiet, I can feel your tears on my neck.
JULY: Dad goes to mom's grave without me. He comes in stumbling around midnight with Ms. Lalonde. They both disappear in his room.
To distract myself from the strange noises, I talk to Jade all night. We talk about mom.
The next day, I ask you over Pesterchum if was it my fault she died. You don't respond. Instead, you come to my house and yell at me for being so stupid for thinking that. Then you hug me.
Good thing Dad was at work.
AUGUST: School is back in action, and when I'm with you, the bullies stay away. You and I have our own class together. Rose's classroom is next door. With the bullies.
You and Karkat get in trouble for drawing something on the trees in the playground. Something called a 'Penis'.
Bro picks you up from school and asks if Dad has work tonight. I say yes. He says get in the car. We get ice cream at an ice cream store right outside town. It's the best ice cream I've ever eaten.
When I get home, dad's there.
Turns out he got off early.
SEPTEMBER: Bro ends up getting in big trouble after dad called the cops, and you stay with Ms. Lalonde for a while.
It's been a week, and you come to my house by knocking on the door. I answer. You start yelling. "Where's your dad?!" When you see Dad, you let your colorful vocabulary shine. Dad calls the cops on you.
He tells me never to talk to that 'Ignorant, ungrateful, thick-headed, disgusting' boy again. I cry myself to sleep that night. No ones there to hold me.
You come to school a week later. You don't explain what happened when you went away. I don't push you into telling me it as usual. But everyone seems to avoid you.
Rose and I don't.
OCTOBER: You spend time with Rose a lot.
Whenever you sneak into my house, you always cry yourself to sleep. I'm trying really hard to make you happy. Trust me, I really am. Every time I manage a small smile, or even a half smirk, I feel a little more completed.
You and I sit outside during Recess as we watch the construction coming to an end. A big store and neighborhood is across the playground now. You grab my hand, "Come on." You pull me to the broken fence when the teachers aren't looking, and run. I don't know where we're going, but I don't care. All I know is that you're smiling.
That's all that matters.
You take me to your apartment. Even though there are smuppets, I feel safe because you're next to me. You take me to a bedroom. It's Bro's, and I can tell because of the familiar cologne. You drag me to the bed and we lie down. You say it's safe now.
We cry together.
In the morning, you take me to my house. Then you go back to Ms. Lalonde's. When dad knows I'm back, all he does is yell at me. I then realize I'm slowly becoming numb to his yelling. I realize I no longer care.
No Halloween, as usual.
NOVEMBER: Rose asks me if I feel upset about anything. I say no. And I'm still lying.
I go home and make sure you won't come over and talk to me for the night. I take out my journal and draw. I draw Ms. Lalonde and Rose. I draw Grandpa and Daddy. I draw Bro and you. I draw Jade and I. I draw mo-…
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I can't remember my Mommy's face.
It's Thanksgiving, and Dad talks to the chair in front of him. But not like last year. This time, it's rarely anything. He doesn't seem to really care anymore.
Vriska brings a real spider to school, then goes to the bullies and sticks it down one of their shirts. She gets sent to the principal's office. Terezi makes sure I don't laugh too loud.
DECEMBER: All I know is that I'm alone this Christmas. It's not like last year. This year, I know Moms not coming back.
I don't bother wishing for her to come back this New Years
I don't bother wishing for daddy to finally love me again.
I don't bother wishing for Jade to get welcomed in the family again.
I don't bother wishing for peace between Bro and Dad.
I don't bother wishing for hope.
I don't bother having hope.