Alrighty then! Next chaps is here! I hope ya'll enjoy it! R&R pweez! Keep readin my loves!
It was that bitter winter when it doesn't matter how pure the snow looks, how adorable the bundled up children are, how sweet the laughter sounds, or how many warm faces greet you. That stilled moment of the year when every neighbor is kind, the world is lit up in a colorful array of sunshine and plastic reindeer hooked up to a fake Santa Claus sleigh. For a moment everything is peaceful in everyone's eyes but your own. A normal Teen Titan Christmas involved the attempt of the guys putting up decorations around the tower like lights and a tree. It involved laughter, cookies, and a moment where the villains became peaceful for a time and Robin became a little more relaxed. Everyone was in spirit. Even Raven, well mostly. She would eventually show her true affections during the season if you were clever enough to understand it. Star was fascinated by lights and cheerful moods. All the titans loved this time of year.
This year, though, there was none of it. Beast Boy tried to put of lights and make merry, but eventually even Cyborg stopped trying and Star stopped smiling. Raven was almost never out of her room, and BB's stupid jokes started to become extinct. Perhaps the joy of Christmas would brighten everything up? No. It didn't. How could it? Their leader and friend was gone.
It was weird one day he was by their side and then the next he vanished. No earthly trace left behind. He was just gone. The worst part was not knowing. Not knowing weather he was dead or alive. Not knowing what happened or why he left. Not knowing where he was or why he was there or if Robin was even Robin anymore. The part that shook Starfire was that Robin could have easily gone undercover and become a civilian without them knowing, she could pass him by everyday she goes out into the city and not even realize it.
It has been about a year since the boy wonder had gone missing. No one had heard from him since that night. No one has seen him. Due to the fact he has melted away so well for so long makes the titans think he doesn't even want to be found.
That dreadful morning when the team realized their leader was gone they spent hours searching. Raven was the first to bring attention a similar situation had occurred once before. When Slade forced Robin into an apprenticeship. But they had not seen Robin robbing anything at all. In fact he was completely and utterly off the radar.
Perhaps he was in Gotham with Batman. They titans were sure if Robin was in a tight enough spot or needed guidance he was wise and mature enough to return to his old mentor for advice. But no such luck had occurred. In fact, once the titans brought up their missing teammate Batman was livid. They weren't sure who he was angry with, but they knew he was angry. Starfire thought he was angry at them for being such bad friends. Raven assumed he was angry with Robin for being missing. Beast Boy figured Batman was normally intimidating. Cyborg guessed maybe he was mad at the world just because it was suddenly crashing down. Alfred knew though. Alfred knew who Bruce was angry at. He was angry at himself for not being there, for letting his "son" go missing right before his eyes, for letting Robin slip through his fingers, for not holding on too tight. Bruce always feared relaxing his hold on Robin would make something like this happen. Alfred feared holding on too tight would make Robin struggle more and something like this would happen. Robin himself would rather have not been smothered. Bruce held on so tightly, so afraid to lose control, and now it had pushed his boy away from him. So far away he doesn't know where he is anymore.
The Greatest Detective in the World was on the case. It mattered not. For Robin remained unfound. Whatever happened was big. Bruce figured three things. Either Robin does not want to be found, if so then they'll have to wait because a man on the run who wants to stay on the run will be on the run until he wants to stop running, or someone took him. If he was kidnapped this man was clever and plotting big time or else would've already held a ransom of some sort, unless he was using Robin for other purposes. Bruce shivered at the thought. The last was what Bruce had finally decided on. It was best this way. Robin was dead. His body was taken and disposed of so well that it would never be found. His son was dead, and it was all his fault.
So thus, you can see why Christmas wasn't a joyous day for the titans. They did try. Did gifts, had hot chocolate, and even laughed a bit. But something was missing. They still had Robin's gifts wrapped, his stocking stocked, and his place in their hearts became a black void of pain. It was so hard to say goodbye when they couldn't. Closure wasn't an option. That was the worst of it.
BB had a hard time losing both Terra and Robin. He couldn't deal with it. But over the period of Robin's absence he and Tara had grown closer. The other titans had become aquatinted with her as well. She had been invited to the Christmas day joyous celebration, but she hadn't come. It was less than joyful anyway. After the gifts the titans had all day. They went about doing their work instead of being together. Just like always. Because of being out of sync with each other and Robin's absence they fought worse. Crime had gone up since the rumor of the boy wonder's death. This made life even worse for them all.
After breakfast BB went to go see Tara. Normally he'd walk her home after school. They'd go out on weekends, the park or arcade. He'd help her with school to the best of his ability but normally she'd teach him and get used to the material. HE was a great study buddy, and a great best friend. He had meet her father, nice and sensible man. Her mother was a workaholic but very kind to him even though he'd only meet her a few times. They had grown quite close indeed. Good friends. Great even. Tara had had a family Christmas and although happy she was a happy as a fifteen year old girl could be with a big family celebration.
Beast Boy was bundled up, standing outside Tara's home. The snow fell at a peaceful grace and covered the ground like a blanket. It was hard to walk in, and it was very cold. But she was worth it. BB realized the Markov house was bursting with energy. Happy energy. True Christmas spirit. His hand stopped in midair. Inched from the doorbell he paused. Should I? He looked in the window. She saw Tara's family laughing and joyfully prancing, dancing, singing, eating, talking. The whole shebang. Gift unwrapping, smiles, cookies, adult conversation, kiddies running around uncontrolled, fire roasting chestnuts. Christmas joy. They're all so happy. I-I don't want to ruin her Christmas.
A certain bored out of her mind blonde blue-eyed girl noticed a green changeling walking away from her house. In a rush she opened the door and let the snowflakes peacefully fall on top of her head.
"Beast Boy!" She called.
The green teen turned around, astonished. "Tara?" He whispered.
She stood in the doorway for a while then closed the door and wondered outside he rushed to her and out his coat over her.
"You shouldn't be out here, you'll catch cold!" He said holding her tightly.
"You're the one out here all alone in the snow. What are you doing here? Alone? And on Christmas?" She asked.
"I-I didn't have anything better to do than trudge through the snow. But I had to see you. I had to make Christmas seem like Christmas again. I had to at least see you."
"Then why didn't you come inside, dummy?" She said, smiling a bit.
BB reamed a still saddened expression. "I didn't want to ruin your Christmas."
"Ruin my Christmas? What are you talking about! I wanted to see you! You should have just come inside. Come on! I'll get you some hot chocolate and warm you up-" she began to drag him inside but they got two steps and then..
"You mean, I won't ruin your Christmas?" He asked.
She turned to him. "Why on earth would you think that? You're my best friend! Christmas is about spending time with friends and family!" She said smiling.
"Yeah, I know. It's just..."
"Just what?" She asked, her smiling fading realizing her typically jokeative friend is very serious.
"Christmas isn't quite the same this year. Not so joyous when there isn't that much to be joyous about. Expect you."
"Well other than me, you have the safety of the city! And the fact most everyone has a Christmas this year, so you should too."
"I'm not really in the mood, Tara."
"Why not? Oh. Is it? Is it him? Your friend?" She asked. Robin was a touchy subject, she knew this. So was Terra. Her friend had lost so many people. So many friends. "I understand. You're sad. I know what it's like to lose someone. And I know it may seem silly to celebrate, but I think its a reason to celebrate. Celebrate life. Celebrate that friendship. Live on even when he can't. I think your friend would've wanted that. Friendships, family, caring for one another that's what Christmas is about. And I-I...I want to spend my Christmas with you." She told him with a resurrected smile.
It had been a while since BB smiled that truly. She took him inside and introduced him to the family. He'd even been invited to stay for Christmas dinner. Like out of the movies everything was great and fun. And for the first time in a long time, as he held Tara's hand and laughed, Beast Boy truly felt happy.
Meanwhile in Raven's Room...
A girl in violet laid out on her bed and stared at the ceiling of her dark room. That night haunted her everyday. She was the last titan to see him, to see Robin. Was it her fault she let him get away? Did she drive him out? Her last words were a question, why can't we help you?
Why didn't she try? Even if he refused help why didn't she play the role of the good friend and keep trying. The others would have. BB would've said something stupid, eventually make Robin get his mind off work and back to something else. Cy would have talked sense into him. Star, well, Star would've made him smile. And that would've been good enough. But no, it was her. Her last words in his mind. Her, the one person who couldn't help him. The one person who couldn't make him stay.
Why? Why did it have to end like this? She laid her head on hr pillow and held back tears. The empathetic girl was used to pushing away emotions, but they were building up inside her. She released it with meditation, something Robin understood. But lately, it wasn't working so well. Slade was destroying Robin and Robin was destroying her.
Raven noticed she was suddenly in a room. A familiar place now covered in dust, But for this point in time someone was in there far to often. A spiked haired Robin was messing with gears and fidgeting with papers. Raven stared blankly. "Robin?" She whispered. As if by magic the boy looked up at her.
"Raven!" He asked.
Raven was overcome. She was going to run to him when an oddly familiar voice stopped her. "You feeling alright?" She paused. It was..her voice. She spun around to see herself in the doorway. But i'm right here.
The scene replayed. That horrid night replayed itself right in front of her. "Why can't we help you?!" Her other self screamed.
Robin looked away from her. "I don't need any help." He said. It echoed in her mind.
The past Raven began walking out the door when, "NO!" Current Raven screamed. She grabbed onto her other self's shoulders. Time froze and she went on. "Make him stay! Say something! Say something to make him stay! Please, if you convince him to stay he won't die! Please!" She screamed.
Raven turned to Robin, frozen in time. "Please!" She shrieked, holding him tight. "PLESE DON"T LEAVE ME!" She wailed. Falling to her knees the scene played out and the door began to shut. "Noooooooooooooo-"
"NOOO!" Raven screamed. She awoke with a start. Her heart pounding, her body in her bed. She sighed. Only a dream. She laid back on her pillow and felt something wet against her cheek. She sat up and felt her pillow. It was wet. Why? She suddenly realized she'd been crying.
Raven flipped her pillow over and laid back down. It was time to sleep. Robin. Why didn't I stop you? Why did I have to relive that night every time I shut my eyes?! Robin...WHY?! She let it out. Raven the stone solid goth, the girl with no emotions, the rock of the team began to cry herself to sleep.
Meanwhile On the Tower's Rooftop...
It was snowing. Not a blizzard, not windy. It was a graceful dance in the winter breeze, a chill up your spine and through your hair, nipping at your nose. The snowflakes danced down to earth. So peaceful.
Cyborg of the titans was on the roof of the tower enjoying the falling snow. A single flake falling from the sky that eventually you lose sight of because of all the other flakes. Just like Robin. There for a second then gone the next. Vanished like water vapor.
From this view you can see the entire city. Cy liked that. He could see the lights, the snow, the buildings. It was beautiful.
Robin. Where are ya man? Were'd you go? What happened that night?
Why was it always being left with questions? Why couldn't there be facts? Cyborg had hoped Robin would've left some...something for them. Like a note that says don't worry, i'm okay. A trail that says find me. A clue that leads to him. A little something to hold on to! Anything at all!
Cyborg let a snowflake fall into his hand. The heat form his body melted it in seconds. Robin the snowflake was right.
Cy watched as the sky cried frozen tears. He sighed. Maybe one day he himself would cry real ones.
Meanwhile In Jump City...
Starfire had decided a fly would be nice. Get her head cleared. Get Robin out of her mind for a few precious moments. Moments that she would be spending with him if it weren't for being such a horrible friend. Like everyone else, she hadn't talked about how she felt. She truly blamed herself for his missing self and hated herself for it.
Ever since Robin had been gone, Star lost the ability to fly. Her power were controlled by emotion. Flying was joy. Starfire now walked.
Walking was more like trudging, and trudging in the snow was cold, very cold. But she had become so numb to it and her mind wandered so far, she didn't even notice it. She had felt numb ever since she realized Robin was gone and was never coming back.
Star heard laughter, joyous laughter. She looked up. She felt a bit warmer. There were crowds of people. Happy faces, variety of warm food, little games. It was a celebration in the city.
Star wondered around. She didn't bring any money with her, but watching other people was just as fun as it would be for her to participate.
She kinda liked it. Reds and greens. Lights and sounds. It was nice. Joy was tangible. It was a feeling you could rip from the air and hold it in your heart.
Star had almost smiled a bit when her breath was knocked out of her in a sudden flash. A boy with black spiky hair, thin acrobatic body, stood right next to the carmel apples. "Robin?" She whispered.
The back of the boy. All she had to do. She..she'd...she'd found him! She'd found Robin.
For the first time in a long while she flew, flew right to him. "Robin! I-" The boy turned.
Her breath. Gone again. This boy wasn't Robin.
The back of this guys head looked like him, but the front was nothing like him. She could tell. Completely different.
Th boy looked confused as the Tamerinian went to the ground and stared at the boy almost horrified and saddened but mostly in shock an awe. The boy then awkwardly smiled and then his eyes lit up and his smile became more genuine.
"Your Starfire, right? Of the Teen Titans? Wow!" Not Robin, sounds nothing like Robin. Looks nothing like Robin. Not Robin. Robin. He went off about something and Star snapped back into reality when a girl with black hair came by and kissed the boy on the cheek.
"Hey, Rose! This is-" The boy pointed to nothing. That girl was gone. "Huh? Where'd she go?"
Starfire ran off from the party and into the alleyway. She fell to her knees in tears.
"Whats a beautiful broad like yourself doing out here all alone?" A voice asked. Star looked up at a familiar man. "You? Well, hey. Everyone needs someone on Christmas. How are you, Starfire?"
Starfire stood tall, her eyes glowing green. "X!" She screamed.
Red X held his arms in the air. "Hey! Truce! It's Christmas! I'm playing good boy today. Not that i'm gonna dress up like Santa or anything."
"Why are you here?"
"I live here?" He shrugged. "What's your damage your glowing like Rudolph's nose only green."
Star relaxed and frowned. "I am sorry. I just-"
"Not in the Christmas spirit. Were the other titans?"
"Cyborg and Raven are at the tower. I have no idea where Beast Boy went. Not that it's any of your business." She snapped.
"Very grouchy today, Scrooge. What about bird boy?" He asked.
Star seemed sad, angry, and something else Red X found attractive yet scary at the same time.
"Did he leave you guys or something?"
"Robin would never!-"
"Come to think of it no one has seen him in a while. Did he go back to Gotham? Or he leave Jump? Is he dead?"
Starfire threw a star bolt at him, which he dodged. But X learned not to ask about Robin. "I get it, I get it, Grinch. Robin's a touchy subject were not discussing."
Star sat in the snow. She buried her face in her knees and refused to look at X.
"You like him, don't you?"
"He's my friend!" She yelled at him.
X remained cool headed. "You know what I mean." He looked to the falling snow. Starfire remained looking at the fallen snow. "I'm sorry." He said.
"What?" She asked looking up at him.
"I understand whats it's like. Losing someone you love. It hurts. Hurts even worse when you don't let go."
Star looked down again. "He isn't dead. He's missing."
"Sucks, man. Not knowing."
"So I have to keep holding on. Because one day, i'll find him." X could swear a smile crossed her lips.
"I hope you do. I-I know you will." He said. Star looked up at him. "If anyone can do the impossible, it's goody-goody superheroes like the titans. If anyone can live trough the unlivable, it's Robin. Trust me. He'll be fine. You'll find him one day. Maybe even before next Christmas."
Star smiled. Her rosy cheeks made X blush behind his mask. X looked away and Star smiled and looked up at the sky.
"There you go!" He cheered.
"Go what?"
"You looked up at the sky."
"So?"
"You looked down a minute ago, at the snow that already fell. Living in the past. But now you're looking up, to the future." Star started at X blankly, not knowing what to say. "Cheesy?"
Star shook her head. "I understand. Thank you, X." She said standing up.
X waved and was off. Star stared at the graying sky. The cold biting at her nose. She pulled her jacked closer and buried her face in her scarf. And for the first time in almost a year she flew home.