The hiatus on this story has been way too long. I have all the notes on the rest of the plot and I will finish it if it kills me, damn it! ;)
Apparently Mulder and Scully weren't as familiar with the driving shortcuts through San Francisco as the other agents; the meeting was already in full swing in Meeting Room C when they arrived. The room looked a little different than it had when she had last seen it as well. Gone were the empty chips bags and greasy pizza boxes; ASAC Park presided over a spotless table divided by neat stacks of evidence boxes, attended to by agents with straight backs and suit coats on and buttoned.
"Ah, Agents Scully and Mulder," she spoke from the head of the table when they were ushered in by Jamie. "Let me get you up to speed. Before you arrived we all reached the consensus that Peter Love is now our main focus, thanks to the physical evidence of the DNA in both rooms, as well as the children's testimony that someone named Peter took them. We're currently asking Judge Galvin to issue an arrest warrant for the brother."
Immediately, Scully was on alert. This sounded suspiciously like the ASAC was working up to a conclusion and dismissal. As in, You're not needed anymore, the case is closed. Please submit your passkeys to the front desk, good-bye.
"Agent Park, if I may say something. . ." she suddenly spoke up, feeling the need to make a case for their continued presence before Agent Park said as much.
Agent Park looked disconcerted, but nodded her assent.
"The theory you've just outlined isn't actually corroborated by the statements I heard," she continued, and she regretted disagreeing in front of the ASAC's subranking agents, but sensed that this would be her only chance before they were publicly excused. "They very specifically stated that that Pete was a boy of twelve. I don't think we can ignore the possibility that there's a prior victim."
She spotted Mulder subtly shifting weight and looking away, and this time she flushed with annoyance at him, not warmth. Yes, he had already shared his theory explaining the younger Peter, but it would be irresponsible, not to mention poor investigating, not to state her concerns. His pride was nothing compared to the potential rescue of another victim.
"I am aware of it Agent Scully," Agent Park responded, looking slightly surprised at the strident tone coming from her, rather than Mulder. "And we have an agent currently searching the NCMEC database for children matching that criteria. But as I know you're aware, the victims were next to incoherent, so until we get any further evidence indicating that there was another kidnapped child, I have to proceed with the evidence I do have. And it's currently telling me that they were confused and that the Pete they were mentioning is the perpetrator. I'm fairly certain that the judge will agree."
This time Scully's impatience with Agent Park's obstinance caused her to feel no regret when she challenged, "Well no disrespect intended, but is it the plan of this office to pick and choose which physical evidence to apply to a theory?"
There was a long, somewhat stunned pause following her words, and around the table almost everyone began to stare studiously at the table. Only Jamie was looking up, gazing at Scully in wonder. She wasn't surprised to learn that no one would ever dare to speak to the ASAC in such a way, but frankly, she didn't care at this point. Agent Park's pride was nothing compared to the need to find any outstanding victims either.
Park's dark eyes flashed dangerously, and Scully knew that she was treading thin ice, but she felt compelled to continue. "I examined the crime scene and subsequent report myself. The evidence indicates that no one left the house following the murder, and - "
"By that same token," Park interrupted, "we should have found the children at home, and the killer still in the house. But I'm sure you can also confirm that physical evidence shows that none of the victims could have killed each other or themselves. So obviously it's a fallacy, and there's simply something that the FBI, county lab, and SFPD have missed. However, the DNA in both rooms is solid evidence, and I think we can all agree that Peter Love is highly suspicious."
"Yes it seems contradictory, which is precisely why Agent Mulder and I were called. I believe that if we continue with our investig-"
"First you were called against my wishes, and then I was strong-armed by an assistant director," ASAC Park barked, and Scully noticed Montes avoiding everyone's eyes. "And frankly I think your presence does critical damage to the case by providing any defense lawyer with ample cause for reasonable doubt. I think it's safest to put aside any inconsistencies for the moment, and focus on the incontrovertible physical evidence, the DNA."
Scully said nothing, but pursed her lips. It seemed that she was outnumbered, and she seethed at the silent figure beside her.
"Now," said Park, with the air of someone putting something unpleasant to rest, "I would like to discuss strategies on how to actually execute said warrant. Montes, I want you to contact Child Services and set up a time with a child psychologist to further interview the victims. O'Brien and Jamie, please have the SFPD lab age the 6th grade picture we have of Peter Love and pass it around local homeless shelters. Have SFPD assist. And Special Agents Mulder and Scully. . ." She eyed them and Scully detected a subtle hint of satisfaction beneath her stony exterior. "I think we have things covered. Unless Chief Lau would like to enroll your assistance," Scully bristled at that - Park knew full well that Lau wouldn't let them within 100 feet of his case, "I think that you've been of enough service. We greatly appreciate your input, but as I said I am going to move away from the unexplainable element as soon as possible."
Scully knew she was defeated, and as everyone stood up to launch into the next phase of the case, she pushed out of the room first, ignoring Mulder and feeling irate. She stalked to their shared office and began piling her compendium of files and shoving them into her briefcase. She didn't even notice Mulder until he was at her elbow, and then she just tightened her lips and continued clearing her belongings.
After a moment watching her, Mulder asked, "What are you doing?"
She gave a soft bark of sardonic laughter, and zipped her bag up with a little more vehemence than was necessary. First he was going to hang her out to dry in some misguided attempt to get her to pull back from the case, and then he was going to play dumb about it when his scheme succeeded?
"We've been thrown off the case, Mulder. Or weren't you listening? That might explain why you didn't once step in to support me." She straightened up looked fully into his face, raising one eyebrow.
He seemed unfazed. After seven years he was apparently nearly immune to that expression.
"I was listening," he answered measuredly. "I just didn't see what could be accomplished by antagonizing a woman whose mind is as closed as Agent Park's."
"That's never stopped you before," Scully rejoined, halfway to herself. "I guess when it's a case that means a lot to me rather than you - Mulder!" she suddenly protested as he grabbed her bag from her hands and put it on her desk, but he shook his head shortly and she felt almost incoherent with a sudden rage she couldn't understand.
"Just - just hear me out for a second," he said, and she watched incredulously as he shoved her bag away and sat on the desk in front of her.
"I already told you I'm not ready to just give up," she told him. "I would think that you of all people would be able to understand that. You could've backed me up."
He grabbed her hands from where they clutched each side of her waist and placed them together within his. She looked away, still angry, but didn't pull back. To her horror, she felt those damned tears threaten to sting her eyes again.
"I knew from the moment they got that hit on the DNA that Park was going to try to get rid of us. As long as there was no viable suspect, she could tolerate agents pursuing many different lines of inquiry. But she can't have differing threads of investigation now; that's not consistent with her supervisory style and it's obvious."
Scully looked away, pursing her lips. She'd had the same concern - so? She was willing to go toe-to-toe with the ASAC precisely because she was trying to forestall their dismissal.
"And I was willing to walk away without a fight because it seems like it's just becoming too personal," he added.
"And who are you to decide for me when it's 'too personal' Mulder?" Scully asked softly, but in a tone she knew Mulder could tell was dangerous. Now she pulled her hands out of his grasp.
"Who were you?" he shot back at her. "You've said that to me time and time again. And as someone with a little retrospect, I know what it does to a person. I didn't want you to have to go through that."
"We're on a case, we're not handling something in our private lives," Scully told him, her eyes flashing. "I'm Agent Scully to you right now, and as Agent Mulder, it's not your place to protect for my emotions."
Mulder looked stubborn, pained, and conflicted, but to her absolute shock, answered, "Yes, I realized that. Which is why I didn't say anything in the meeting."
She felt as if the wind had been taken from her sails and for once didn't have a return ready for him. "What?" she managed to ask a moment later.
He sighed and scrubbed his face with his knuckles. "I didn't want to antagonize her, in the hope that we could just fly under the radar until you feel comfortable concluding this case. Your message in the car was received."
Scully was still geared for a fight, so the fact that Mulder was actually acquiescing to her request took a moment to process. Finally, after a long moment of silence, she looked up into his eyes and nodded once. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it, partner," he responded and she half-heartedly smiled. "So what's the next step, Agent Scully?"
Without answering him immediately, she reached around him for her bag and ran her hand contemplatively across the top of the files within.
"I know this is usually more your area, but I was curious about victimology. Maybe if we better understand the motives we'll be better equipped to protect anyone else from coming to the same harm. It may be. . ." she searched for a neutral word to describe the loggerheads she and Mulder could come to in the course of the conversation, "controversial, since so far we can't prove that there are two separate entities which may have differing objectives, but - yes?"
Mulder was trying to behave and let her speak, but he looked like her three-year-old nephew doing the potty dance, and she decided to repay the flexibility he had shown her by letting him give his input before she was necessarily done.
"I don't think it's as much a problem it appears," he explained. "Yeah, I do believe that there are two separate forces at work here, but I think there is only one perpetrator, meaning that we can conclude that the driving factors in each murder are consistent."
Scully nodded, somewhat relieved that they could put aside Mulder's interpretations of the circumstances for now and focus on his own brand of science, profiling.
Just then a hesitant knock came to the door, and Montes entered the office, the lines around his eyes standing out, and tension clear in his shoulders.
Mulder and Scully nodded at him, and he hung his head. "ASAC Park requested that I assist you with bringing any files down to the garage, or help with anything else that would 'smoothly facilitate your departure.'"
"Euphemism of course for 'make 'em scarce,'" Mulder observed, and Montes looked dejected.
"It's fine Agent Montes, we just have a few things that we can carry with us," Scully added, feeling sorry for her colleague. They had so few allies.
"I apologize, agents," he said tiredly, but then he raised his head and looked them squarely in the eye. "But I don't regret what I'm sure the boss sees as mutinous. We may not have wrapped it up in an entirely satisfactory manner, but your leadership on it was evident." He reached out a resolved hand, and firmly shook first Scully's, then Mulder's, before giving them one final nod and heading out.
They both stared at the empty doorway for a moment before Mulder cleared his throat. "Well that's our cue, Scully," he said, sliding off the desk. "Guess it's time to take this show back to the motel."
Her eyebrows raised immediately, recalling at once what had happened last time they had taken a break at the motel midday, and if he had anymore intentions to distract her from finishing what she came to do.
He read her thoughts immediately and quickly added, "No more trying to distract you away from the case, or anything like that, I promise. Like I said, the message was received." Then when he saw her expression soften he evidently felt a little bit more daring, because he threw in teasingly, "Get your mind out of the gutter."
She ignored him and slung her bag across her shoulder, and she heard him sigh, though almost inaudibly. She tensed in preparation for a comment, ready with a defensive line, but the sigh was all that came.
Scully had nothing against operating out of a motel room. After all, she couldn't count the number of times on the road when their rooms were essentially just mobile offices that they happened to sleep in. Because of that, motels didn't have the illicit connotations for her that they had for many people, and she wasn't in the least bit tempted as she and Mulder sprawled across the covers of her bed next to each other, poring over the files.
. . .Actually, that was a complete lie, one that she was trying very hard to convince herself of. But as much as it irritated her, something about him physically was calling to her - did she want sex? Comfort? Both? - and the distraction opened the door to ideas which left her feeling confused and frustrated.
Dare she wonder it, but what did she really need right now? Was Mulder right, and she should just let this go? Was she holding onto this because she felt like this was a situation pertaining to children that she believed she could somewhat control, as opposed to her own personal situation?
She flinched and squeezed her eyes shut, silently berating herself for getting off-track. When she opened her eyes, it was to examine the files with renewed focus - as Agent Scully.
But almost immediately another distracting thought punched through her concentration. "Agent Scully." "Dana." She had differentiated the two to Mulder earlier in the office, and that resonated with the conversation they had had regarding "Peter" and "Petey." Was she no different: two separate personas fighting for dominance? The thought made her feel lost, like she didn't know herself at all.
She shook her head lightly, and bit down on her lip to start to re-examine the file in her hands again. She realized she'd been staring at the same few lines of a police report for quite some time now.
Apparently so had Mulder, who was now watching her with an inscrutable expression on his face. It seemed like a mixture of worry, understanding, and maybe even slight disapproval. He said nothing, but the long beat of eye contact told her he was aware that she was preoccupied, and that he suspected why. Then, finally, with a quick raise of his eyebrows, he returned his attention to a file that was double the thickness of hers and yet almost completely reviewed.
She attempted to do the same, but it was no use; her own thoughts were taking her hostage. Perhaps a different approach, she thought, and rose to a kneel across from her partner.
Maybe if she gave "Dana" what she wanted, "Agent Scully" would have a fighting chance to finish business afterwards. In any other circumstances she would scoff at herself for such thoughts, but now that she had mentally granted herself permission to do this, she could think of nothing else.
She took a deep, steadying breath. Then, tossing her own report aside, she rocked back on her heels and began to unbutton her blouse. Mulder, although he was clearly engrossed, couldn't help but glance over at her movement, and he did a double-take that would have been comedic in any other situation.
"Scully. . .?" His eyes were wide and surprised as he gaped at her.
She didn't respond; she only shrugged off her blouse and leaned forward to press her mouth against his.
He responded for a moment before tipping back his head and looking into her eyes, the concern now full-fledged. "I thought this was exactly the sort of thing that we were avoiding," Mulder said, sitting up and touching her cheek. "What's going on?"
Scully just shook her head impatiently and started tugging his tie loose. He seemed to be frozen, still caught up in surprise, because she had already freed it and started on his shirt before he reacted. He caught her hand up in his and clasped it, preventing her from going further, and she huffed in annoyance. "Are you saying no?" she asked him with incredulity.
"No. . .well, not necessarily," he responded, and sat up to face her. "I just can't help feel that this isn't about being with me. It's about something you're going through, and I want to know what that is before we do anything you might regret."
"Why would I regret doing something we do all the time, Mulder?" she scoffed, deliberately missing his point.
"Actually until two days ago we've been pretty good about not crossing the line on the job. Besides, you know what I mean," he responded, drilling his gaze into hers. And she did, but in that moment she didn't want any damn introspection, hers or his.
She pressed herself against him in an attempt to cut him off and hopefully distract him as she herself was distracted. Then with one arm around his neck and one hand unclasping her bra, she refocused on coaxing his mouth open with hers.
"Shcuh-ly. . ." he said, muffled against her lips, but with a clear tone of hesitation.
"Mulder just shut up, okay?" she asked, and reached back for his collar.
He broke their connection again and she wanted to cry with frustration. "Just an hour ago you wouldn't even crack a smile at a passing joke about this," he said, his hazel eyes searching her blue ones. "And now you're jumping me over casefiles. This just isn't like you."
In retrospect she knew that the reason she hadn't paid attention to the joke was because it hit too close to home. She'd already had so little resolve in keeping up the armor, and she'd been holding onto it as tightly as she could.
Well, it was too late now.
"Save your analyzing for our profile, Mulder" she told him, and finally he remained still for long enough for her to undo the remaining buttons and tug his shirt down his arms in triumph.
He sighed heavily and was about to speak again when Scully decided to change her strategy. She paused in the act of ridding him of his undershirt and looked up into his face. "Please, Mulder," she asked, her voice now soft. "I just want to take a break from all of this, if only for a little while. I know it's unusual, and it goes against what I said earlier, but I guess it's not a secret that this case has been. . .difficult. I need you. . . us." Scully didn't know if she was being manipulative or if she being more truthful than she knew; she couldn't say for certain why she wanted him so badly in this moment, she only knew that she did.
His eyes continued to search hers for another moment, then something relented and he nodded. Scully knew that these circumstances were irregular and he was only consenting for her sake, but she felt a hard, victorious smile touch her face nonetheless. She pulled his tee shirt over his head while Mulder's hands traced up and down the contours of her back, and his head dipped so that he could kiss and nuzzle the crook of her neck. She needed something more than that, though. His touches were too tender and gentle, and she needed something passionate and intense in order to sear away the churning thoughts in her mind. She wanted Mulder to make her forget her own name, almost literally.
She pushed him back down against the bed frame, straddling his hips, and he looked up at her with his mouth parted and with eyes that were quickly changing from confused and concerned to dark and aroused.
Grasping the sides of his face and leaning in again, she kissed him with a desperation and a need that she hadn't realized was within her, then grinded her hips against his, which elicited a hoarse groan from Mulder. His hands flew up to her waist then skimmed up her sides to cup and knead her breasts, while she still hungrily explored his mouth with her lips and tongue.
Abruptly she was on her back; he had rolled them over and then sat up. She was ready to protest, then felt the buttons and zipper of her trousers being undone, followed by the warm touch of Mulder's dexterous fingers moving under the band and easing them – and her underwear - off her hips. Panting, she grabbed his head and clutched onto his hair, and she felt his breath on her inner thigh as he paused to press his lips just inside her knee, then returned to kiss her deeply.
Impatient, she reached down and tugged his boxers down his legs, and without breaking the contact of their lips he kicked them off the rest of the way, before tilting his head to the side and intensifying the kiss further. She whimpered into his mouth, then clutched onto his shoulders and wrapped her legs around his waist.
He pulled back for just a moment and rested his forehead against hers, before glancing down into her eyes. "Love you," he told her in a husky voice.
She nodded quickly, then hated how her eyes began to sting (yet again) and to hide it she began kissing his jaw, his throat, his chest. . .anywhere she could reach. He gave another low groan and grabbed her breasts again.
"More," she ordered, and he handled them more roughly, and even leaned in to take them into his mouth.
"Yes," she said, then reached between them to grasp him.
They joined together quickly, without further preamble, and if Mulder was still preoccupied by concern for Scully's state of mind, it seemed too overwhelmed by her unmitigated lust. He more than willingly conceded to every demand she made of him; when she insisted 'faster,' he braced himself and doubled his efforts, and when she moaned 'deeper' he grasped her legs and found a new angle.
But it still wasn't quite enough to rid herself of the intangible heartache she was feeling, and she rolled them over again so that she could take control. He looked up at her, his eyes dark and his expression singularly concentrated, and she tried to lose herself in his hungry expression, the mounting pleasure and how much - yes - she was in love with him. But she knew that the ferocity with which she was making love to him was the very thing that would make it end sooner. . . and then what? She flushed the thoughts from her mind and refocused on the sight below her.
Mulder's eyes were becoming unfocused and his breath was erratic. He was much closer than she was, and she gritted her teeth in frustration and poured all her consciousness into the friction being generated where they met. She let the feeling take over her, and finally she succeeded in being lost in sensation. It was broken only briefly when Mulder pulled her down into a tight embrace, taking back control and increasing the tempo even further. Sweat was pouring off his brow and the sight of his face, frozen almost as if in agony, wiped her mind even further. She pressed her face into her neck, threw her arms around his shoulders, and hung on. Soon she was right there with Mulder, and for the first time ever since they'd had sex, they actually climaxed at the same time.
A moment later they were both lying on their backs, staring up at the ceiling and trying to catch their breaths. Mulder was the first to lift his head, and when Scully didn't meet his gaze, he gathered her in his arms and pulled her against his chest.
"You're a thousand miles away," he observed after another moment, but she made no reply. She wasn't ready to go back to the real world yet, and wanted to bask in the afterglow for as long as possible.
"Scully. . . that was. . ." He seemed at a loss for words, and Scully guessed that he was torn between praising what had just happened, and not wanting to condone the motivations for why it had happened.
He settled for "I've never seen you like that." A moment later he added, "It was unbelievably sexy, but-"
At that inevitable 'but,' Scully groaned and shook her head into his chest. "Mulder, you're ruining it."
He lapsed into silence and Scully was grateful, even though she could sense the wheels in his mind tuning – and she was the focus of all that brainpower. She was the human puzzle he was trying to solve.
"I'm going to take a shower," she finally said, the real world having settled into their room nonetheless, but Mulder tightened his hold around her possessively.
"Just stay another moment." He kissed her forehead lingeringly, tenderly, but for some reason that only made her want to escape more.
"We should be getting back to work Mulder," she told him. "I shouldn't have waylaid us like that."
"Well the pun there is just too obvious," Mulder teased, trying for a joke to add some levity to the awkward atmosphere in the room, but she only gave him a perfunctory half-smile that didn't touch her eyes.
"'Scuse me," she said, scooting out from his arms.
"Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma'am," he said in a joking tone, but she heard the hurt penetrating through.
As she left the room, she could picture him in her mind's eye: lying alone on the bed, hand extended out across where she had just been, an expression of worry and aggravation on his face.
She felt guilty that she had used him, and she felt even guiltier than he was apparently aware of it, but she was half convinced that it had worked, and that she had expended the nervous energy that had been so plaguing her prior to their afternoon quickie.
She used the shower as a buffer to further talk herself into this frame of mind, and by the time she emerged Mulder passed by her to reach the bathroom with barely a glance. On one hand she was relieved, but on another she registered that this was passive-aggression.
When he re-entered the room she was fully dressed, and she was further relieved to see that he had taken his clothes in with him and was dressed in his suit trousers, belt and a tee shirt.
They were back in their armor and Agent Scully and Agent Mulder to each other once more, at least at the surface. She couldn't shake the strange certainty that was usually Mulder's area that as much as they were risking professionally with an independent investigation, it was their personal lives that were going to suffer the fallout of this case. Sleeping with Mulder had sapped her of that frustrating, unproductive nervous energy, but now a cold, vague feeling of dread took its place.
Irritated, she flipped open the file she had abandoned before, resolved not to give in to the absurd and baseless anxiety. Even in the highly unlikely event that anything should happen to affect their relationship, it would not be enough to dissuade her from pursuing this case to its conclusion. That was something that both "Agent Scully" and "Dana" could agree upon.
I don't even know if people are reading X-Files fanfic anymore, but if you are and you enjoyed this, I'd love to hear from you!