Warning: So I know I said one more chapter, but I wrote this one a while ago and I didn't post it cause I was like "naw, they're reading this for the yaoi, they don't want straight sex. But then I realized that I might as well post it 'cause it's kinda funny. So...yeah. Lots of sex. Lots of it. More so than the other chapters, I'm warning you now. Oh, and strong language too, because it is Ino after all. P.S. this happened, like, in between chapters one and two. So basically the night that Sai went off on his own after Naruto broke his heart into a zillion pieces. Enjoy!

Sai had read in a book once that when one is having lady troubles, or in his case, Naruto troubles, they go to a bar and "drink away their feelings." He wasn't exactly sure what this meant, but he figured that the best way to find out would be to go to a bar.

He found one that said simply "Pub" on the sign and figured it would do. He walked in and sat down at the bar.

"What'll ya have?" asked the bartender.

"Umm…"

"Sai? Is that you?" he heard a voice from the other side of the bar. It was Ino.

"Oh, hello," he remembered what he had called her the last time he saw her, "Beautiful."

"Oh. Well, hello Sai." Ino said flouncing her hair. "I've never seen you here before."

"Well, I've never come here before."

"What are you getting?" Ino asked him.

"Well…I'm not sure…"

"Hey, bartender! Another round of Saki over here, please!"

The bartender nodded at her and handed over a bottle of Saki and two cups. "Here Sai, try this." She poured him a cup and handed it to him. Sai smelled the liquid before taking a small sip. It burned his throat.

"Is it supposed to burn?" he asked Ino.

"Yeah, drink some more," she said, her face flushed a little.

He complied, downing the rest of the Saki in the cup.

He felt a pleasant little buzz forming in the base of his skull.

"I feel a bit strange." Sai said "Is this being…'drunk'?"

"Fuck yeah," Ino said as she poured herself another cup. Sai took the bottle from her and poured himself another one as well. He was starting to understand what the phrase "drink away your feelings" meant. He was beginning to feel almost…happy now.

Ino downed a few more cups of Saki before asking, "So…Sai…Why are ya here, huh? I mean, was' wrong?"

Sai decided to tell her. "Well, I asked Naruto on a date, but he said no."

Ino's eyebrows went up "You as'ed Naruto on a date?"

"Yes."

"So you, like, like him?"

"Well…yes."

"Wha' di' he tell you? Tha' he's not -hiccup- gay? 'Cause I bet he's not. He's all pervy and shit." said Ino, barely coherent.

"Well, actually, he says tha' he's in love with someone else."

"Ooooohhhh my gaw'! Is it Sakura?"

"No. Sasuke Uchiha."

"Wha'? Are you, like, serious Sai?"

"Yes."

"Bu'…really?"

"Yes."

"Shit," Ino downed yet another cup of Saki. "That sucks, y'know? 'Cause it'd be one thing if he was all like 'hey man, I'm not gay,' but he's all like 'well, I like someone else.' Tha' mus' hurt."

"I guess it does."

"So -hiccup- rry, Sai. Here have som' more."

Sai complied, throwing back his third cup of Saki. He was beginning to feel even happier now.

"You know wha' Ino?"

"Wha'?"

"S'okay that -hiccup- Naruto doesn't like me. I'll jus' find someone else."

Ino looked at Sai for a moment, then she planted her ass on his lap. "Someone else?" she said as seductively as her mouth would allow in her drunken state.

"Yeah. Someone else. Someone…better."

Ino tossed her hair. "I could be…better," she said batting her eyes.

Sai was in the midst of a fourth cup "Whadya mean?"

"Sai, les' have some fun, huh? You an' me."

"Fun?" Sai's brain was really fuzzy and he was having a hard time figuring out Ino's meaning.

"Yeah. Look, I know you don' like girls an' all bu'…I could still show you a goo' time, you know? Trust me, huh?"

"Well…"

"Come on!" Ino yelled as she drunkenly pulled a drunken Sai to his feet. "Les' go back to ma place. Don' think my parents are -hiccup- home. They're on missions I bet. Come on -hiccup- Sai. This'll be fun!"

Sai still wasn't sure he knew what Ino was talking about, and he was far to drunk to try and figure it out, so he stumbled after her, hoping that her intentions would be made clearer soon.

Ino giggled as she fumbled with her keys. After a few tries she managed to get them in the lock.

The house was dark and as she had said, there was nobody home. Ino took Sai's hand and began their long trek up the stairs. She giggled every time she stumbled and her mood was infectious, so Sai soon found himself laughing along with her, though he wasn't sure why.

When they finally made it to her bedroom Ino said "Ok, Sai. I'll tell ya wha' to do, 'k?"

Sai just nodded because his tongue felt too heavy to use for actual speech.

"Sit on 'da bed." Ino commanded forcefully. Sai did as he was told.

Ino stood in front of him and began to shift her hips slowly from side to side. Their rhythmic movement began to make Sai feel sleepy.

She put her arms over her head and took her hair out of her pony tail, letting the blond locks drape over her shoulders. Her hips swiveled in circles and she twirled around, licking her lips all the while and setting her drunken, lusty gaze on Sai. He gazed back with a mostly neutral expression, the tiniest hint of a smile still on his lips from the buzz of the alcohol.

Ino giggled as she begin to work her hands up her body. She toyed with her ample bosom for a moment before lifting her purple shirt over her head.

"Well, Sai?"

"Well…what?"

"Whadya think?"

"Of what?"

"My boobs!" Ino cried in absolute outraged. How can he not think anything about them?

Sai pondered for a moment. "Well, they look very healthy."

"Healthy?!" she cried in disbelief.

"Yes. Your mammary glands are very healthy looking. I'm sure you'd be able to produce more than an ample supply of milk for your -hiccup- offspring."

"Thas' all you think?"

"Well…yes."

"Are you sure?" Ino asked as she stepped closer to Sai and began kneading her breasts near his face.

Sai looked at them for a moment before concluding "Yes. Very healthy."

Ino sighed, but returned to her strip tease. She took off her shoes and fishnet, leaving only her shirt. She played around with the hem, but judging by the blank stare on Sai's face, this was doing nothing, so with a roll of her eyes she took off her skirt, leaving her completely naked. She continued her twirling and hip-swiveling and made special sure to shake her ass as close to Sai's face as possible. Sai didn't say anything. He just looked sleepy and content.

Fine. Time to get serious, Ino thought.

She knelt down in front of Sai and undid his pants. She was hoping to find a nice big boner brought on by her dancing, and was disappointed when she didn't. She sighed again. I'm really gonna have to work for this. She began sucking and peered up at Sai's face to gage his reaction. No guy can resist this. Even if he is gay, I'm a fucking pro at this, she thought as she worked her mouth around his now slightly hardening cock.

"So…does that feel good, Sai?"

"Yes. It feels nice."

"Oh goodie, -hiccup- shall I continue, then?" She asked seductively.

"No. That's alright, Ino. I'm actually feeling -hiccup- kinda tired. I think I'll head home and go to bed."

"What?! Bu', bu' don' you wanna, ya know, have sex with me?"

"No."

"I thought that's why you came?!"

Sai shrugged "I wasn't sure why I came."

"I just stripped for you!"

"I figured you wanted my opinion on your breasts. I have read many books about anatomy and I know a bit about-"

"Oh, shut up Sai!"

Sai stopped talking.

"It's my fault, I guess. I know you don't like girls…I jus'…nevermind."

Sai realized that he had hurt Ino's feelings. "Well if you wanna continue sucking, you can. I don' mind, Ino"

She peered up at him teary eyed. "Really?"

Sai shrugged and laid back on the bed. "Sure."

Ino clapped her hands and continued, putting all her effort into it. Eventually Sai's dick was hard and his breathing had quickened a bit. Good, thought Ino, I can make a gay guy hard.

She noticed that he wasn't looking at her. His mind was definitely somewhere else. It probably wasn't her he was seeing suck his dick, but she didn't care. She was horny and needed to do something about it as soon as possible.

"Put it in, Sai."

"Wha'?"

She got on all fours, shaking her ass slightly from side to side to coax him in. "Come on, pu' it in."

"Put wha' in where?"

Ino smacked herself in the forehead, then realized she couldn't use slang with him, she had to be literal. "Let's have sexual intercourse, Sai."

"Oh," Sai didn't particularly have much desire to, but he liked Ino. He considered her his friend so he didn't want to hurt her feelings again. "Ok, then."

He took a while to find the opening.

After a minute Ino rolled her eyes again and pointed "Righ' there, Sai." "Oh, I see it." He put it in.

Ino moaned loudly. "Oh, Sai. Thas' good shit."

He didn't really like the feeling very much. She was very wet and felt slimy, but he saw that she was enjoying it so he figured that was good enough for him.

He awaited further instructions.

"Well?" Ino said.

"Well…what?"

"Go!"

"How?"

"Just…ya know…slide it back and forth."

"Slide it back and forth…" Sai had read a couple books about the human reproductive system, but he had never actually found out how this was done. He tried to follow Ino's instructions though. It felt strange. Not bad, but strange. He was tired and really wanted to go to bed, but Ino started moaning, "Faster, Sai." He did as he was told, trying to ignore the sticky, slimy sound he was hearing.

After a while Ino started yelling "Yeah! Sai, yeah! Perfect! Don' stop. Fuck. Don' stop, I'm gonna-" Ino didn't finish, she was too busy moaning Sai's name as she came.

Sai didn't say anything. He still felt sleepy and his boner was getting to be painful, so he took it out of her and started to stroke it. He let his mind go somewhere else.

I know I shouldn't think of Naruto but-, Sai came all over Ino's ass.

"Mmmm…" Ino mumbled. "Tha' was goooood, Sai."

"I'm glad."

She looked at him "You didn' really like it though, huh?"

Sai shrugged, not wanting to hurt her feelings anymore.

"Thas' ok, Sai. I get it. Girls aren't' your thing, but Sai?"

"Yes?"

"This is gonna sound real corny bu'…I still want us to be friends, and…well…forget Naruto! You'll find a great guy too, Sai."

Sai smiled. "I agree. Thanks, Ino. I do feel better now."

Ino smiled too "Good."

Sai put on his clothes and left. Ino laid in bed thinking about what she just did. I was drunk, really, really drunk, she rationalized. He'll find someone, too. I know he will.

Yeah...

Most awkward sex ever, right? I just thought it'd be funny y'know? Sai and Ino + drunk sex = hilarious. But, hey, if you totally hated it, let me know. I LOVE reviews, as I've said time and time again. The next chapter is the last, I promise. Part of the reason I posted this one first is because the final chapter is so sappy, it's disgusting. I needed to give you something, y'know, not sappy first. Prepare for the intended heartbreak you guys! Thanks so much to everyone who's following and favoriting! I love you sooooo much!

Au Revoir!