Hello friendly, and not so friendly (I see you over there, in your corner) faces. I'm doing something slightly different in this Parodies chapter. I'm taking excerpts from songs, and using them in my story... Cracky? I know. Funny? Up to you to decide.

Anyway, you all must be like, "This is total crack, anyway." And "But... You use music in your stories anyway...?"SHUTUP.

Nah, not really. This chapter is devoted to music. But, we're going to have a competition. The more songs you guess, the more points I'll give you. The person with the most points at the end gets something special devoted to them, and only them. Songs can appear more than once. There's going to be 2 chapters, one after another, sooooo... The 1st will be before the showdown, the 2nd will be during and after.

For every excerpt that comes directly from a real song, I'll give you a point. If you can guess what song I'm parodying, name it, and correct it, I'll give you 2 points!

(NOTE: It has to be directly from the song. I'll underline the parodies, and italicize the actual lyrics to make it easier. By the way, Fezzes 64 starts with a point for reviewing first on Epic Mario Fails. So if none of you do anything, she'll win. Also, everyone else who reviewed gets half a point. Buuuuuut, this chapter is really to amuse me while writing it and re-reading it. The competition was an afterthought. All clear?)

Thanks to all that reviewed last time! Thanks go to Fezzes64, Dimentio's Epic Girlfriend, Future Fantasy Writer, and nene1234 for reviewing! :)

The Ultimate Parodies

Chapter 4

Revenge of Pop Music

It was an average, cliché day in the Darklands. As in, it was cloudy outside, and a certain fair-haired princess was trapped in the castle, since Bowser was bored and had nothing better to do. Of course, she had already been there for about 45 minutes, so Mario had to be around somewhere. And... There he was, her hero, the knight in shining armor, the short, tubby Italian-American in overalls.

"Oh Mario! I knew you would come for my inevitable rescue!" She called out dramatically from one of the many towers. She even fanned herself with one of her hands, sat on a bench next to the window, and tidied up her hair, as if that would make such a big difference.

"Oh. Hey Peach. I'll be up there in a moment! I also brought Luigi and Daisy with me, but they probably won't do much, they're being all sappy and romantic." Mario called back up, seemingly ignoring the fact that they were right behind him.

"NO! We're just enjoying quality time together!" Luigi responded toward his shorter, yet older, brother.

"By rescuing a princess... My girlfriend... From a retarded dragon-mutant-turtle thing that looks like it appeared out of Scribblenauts. Yep, that's the ultimate definition of romance right there, Luigi." Mario responded slowly, as if he was speaking to an idiot, making Luigi blush in embarrassment. Daisy pinched his cheeks because she thought he looked 'cute.'

It was just then that the fair princess of the Mushroom Kingdom discovered that there was nothing blocking her escape from the tower window. Heck, she even had her parasol with her to slow the descent. What a blonde moment.

So, what did she do after discovering that? She jumped into her hero's awaiting arms. But, she kinda forgot her sunblock in the room, and she did NOT want to face the Angry Sun again.

"Oh Peach~! I missed you so much in your extended period of absence." Mario said, giving her a peck on the lips.

Of course, Daisy couldn't help but respond to Mario's love-stricken statement. "Yep... Not even a whole hour... And that's apparently extended. What's short, then?"

"Shut up, Daisy. You know as well as I do that you can't sleep without your life-size Luigi plushie. So please, kindly stop making idiotic comments."

"Like, OMG, Mario! I forgot my sunblock! We HAVE to go back and get it!"

"But-but, why can't we just buy some?"

"Mario!" Peach whined. "The Angry Sun is going to get me again!"

"Well, jeeze, Peach. Who made you king of anything?" Luigi said. "C'mon, me and Daisy will stay out here and keep watch while you two get that sunblock or whatever.

So, Mario and Peach walked into the damp, dark, overly dreary castle. "Hey, Mario, you know,I'm sorry I made you mad, so I wanted to make it up to you, through SONG!"

"But, I'm not mad-"

"SILENCE.Hey Mario, have you ever been in love? Because you're my best friend, best of all best friends, you could be my best friend too!"

Mario started slowly. "Peach, honey, you know I love you-"

"AS LONG AS YOU LOVE ME-"

"Please stop cutting me off." Mario said. "But, as I was saying, I know you know I love you, buuuuut, you do realize you didn't write that song at all. You just completely ripped it off. And it was an aggravating song you ripped off, to boot. Please stop listening to Earth's popular music, you're getting addicted."

"Boy I think about it every night, and day I'm addicted, wanna jam inside your love." was Princess Peach's response."By the way, I know you like Earth music. Especially American Top 40, I hear you listening to it all the time!"

"...I really hate you sometimes."

"I know~!"

But, seeing as how nothing can ever be easy for Peach, when Mario turned around to check for enemies, a trap door opened up under her, taking her to Bowser's throne room. All she could say was, "He's taken me! If you get lost, call me maybe!" before landing in a... surprisingly comfortable cage. It was pink, and plushie, and there was even a Pillow Pet in the corner!

She was snapped out of her comfortable, captured thoughts, when Bowser appeared right beside her.

"Hey babe."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, hi?"

"Girl I've been all over the world looking for you. I'm known for taking what I think I deserve and you're overdue."

"Dude. I don't like you. We are never, ever, ever getting together. Like, ever."

"But why?"

"Because I knew you were trouble when you walked in."

"Fo' realz!?"

Peach was unamused. She raised an eyebrow, stood up to her full height, and asked "What... Kind of drugs are you on?"

"'Shrooms. But since you're so rude, I will leave you to your thoughts." And then Bowser, well, left the room. What did you think would happen, a meteor falling on him or something? That doesn't happen here. THIS. IS. MUSHROOM KINGDOM!

So, our lovely heroine was sitting in a cage located in Bowser's throne room. She didn't know where he went, but it didn't really matter. So, since she forgot her PSP in her other dress, and her 3DS in her other other dress, she was stuck with her own thoughts... And a Pillow Pet. It was soooo cute! It was a little Koopa. :D

"If I could escape and recreate a place that's my own world..." She began, thinking aloud to herself. "Well, I wouldn't be kidnapped, that's for sure. I guess all of my citizens would be well off. And there'd be no bad guys-"

Just as she said that, the bad guy she was thinking of waltzed into the room. While the door was shutting behind him, a certain plumber walked in.

"So Bowser, are you ready to settle this?"

ANNNNNNDDDDDD that's all for now! I'll update the rest soon! As in, it'll be my next update...

Review your guesses! :D