Chapter 4—129 DAYS BEFORE
The day after I had been assigned partners with Potter for Transfiguration, he greeted me once again, in Potions.
"Er, fancy seeing you here," He half-joked, clearly just as baffled as I was by this coincidence. All right, so we had two projects and we just happened to be together for both of them. It was just a simple fluke, right?
However, I couldn't resist asking Professor Slughorn after he'd announced our partners, "May I ask how you chose partners for this project, sir?"
"Simply random picking," He sung, which eased my panic a bit. I was overreacting, and I knew it, so I didn't voice my concerns aloud. I didn't want Potter to think he made me nervous or something.
"Unlike some of your other projects which have probably or will probably be announced recently, this one is not due for the end of the year. This project will be due in precisely three weeks. February 12th."
I raised my eyebrows to my partner, silently telling him that I had this one. He agreed strongly, by his over-exaggerated nod as he pushed his notebook towards me, with a sugarquill on top.
I smiled at his sweet gesture, and popped the quill into my mouth at once.
"Mm," I whispered. "Raspberry."
"I like Watermelon more," He commented. In response, I threw him a look of disgust. He rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.
As Slughorn began to explain the project, I opened his notebook to take notes. I flipped through the several used pages, until I came across a particular page that made me stop. The entire page was full of doodles of golden snitches, but that wasn't the important part. The snitches that he'd drawn were all the same, but all somehow tweaked, as if trying to draw the perfect one. Finally, near the end of the page, he'd circled in red the one that I agreed was the best drawn.
In it, he'd sketched the letters L.E.
Quickly flipping to a blank page before he could see the page I'd landed on, I began taking notes with a feverish passion. He noticed, of course.
"Everything OK?" He asked, chuckling uneasily.
"Just uh," I paused. "This sugarquill is just really good." I said, too enthusiastically for him to believe. But thankfully, he pretended to buy it, and he simply nodded, saying:
"I guess next Hogsmeade I'll have to get you some more Raspberry ones." With a grin, he added, "Or we could go together."
Thankful for this easy opportunity to banter with him like usual, I forced a laugh, getting my voice back to normal tone. "Not for all the Raspberry sugarquills in the world."
After Potions, I had Arithmancy while Marlene took Astronomy. Before class, I'd told her to meet me in the second floor girl's bathroom at 1:30 exactly. She nodded without questioning, and, checking my watch nervously at 1:32, I wondered if she'd been able to get out of class.
I used my spare time to think of how I would say this to her.
"Listen Marlene, I think James fancies me."
"Listen Lily, I think the whole freaking school knows that."
I paused, leaning against a stall. That was true. Everyone did know that James Potter fancied me, but then why was I so surprised by his doodling?
I guess I'd just always thought he asked me out because I always said no. He had never really admitted out loud to fancying me. But there it was, in the print.
"Listen Marlene, James fancies me. I saw my initials in his notebook."
"Aww... in a heart?"
"Er, no. A golden snitch."
She'd laugh. I was being over-dramatic. Just because the initials L.E. were doodled in the best-drawn snitch, it didn't mean he fancied me! Or maybe it was just a metaphor for how I'd captured his heart. But wait a second; the snitch didn't capture the seeker... Maybe it meant he'd captured my heart? But—James wasn't even a seeker he was a chaser!
My head hurt. Finally, as if playing the role of the airplane responding to my S.O.S. written in the sand, Marlene dashed into the abandoned lavatories.
"What's up?" she huffed, as if she had ran here. Come to think of it, the Astronomy Tower was pretty far. Maybe I should have thought our meeting place a little more through.
"I, er—" I paused, unsure of what to say. Finally, deciding she'd make of it what she would, I just told her the full story. "What do you think?" I asked at the end, gauging her reaction.
"Well Lily, as usual, you've managed to blow a simple story way out of proportion." She told me. "The only unusual thing about your story is how worked up you're getting over it. Since when do you care?"
I sighed. "I don't know. I think we're like, friends." I said carefully, as if testing the word for the first time.
I'd expected her to laugh. To mock me, "You and Potter? Friends? Hah!" That would have been better than the look of pity she offered me instead.
"Oh, Lil." She said, the softness of her tone throwing me off. Marlene was one to hardly ever be gentle with anyone. She was blunt and to the point, which I'd always liked. Her tone instantly made the hair on my neck stand up.
"What?" I asked desperately.
"Tell me you don't fancy Potter." She put a hand on my shoulder like a mother with her child.
Laughing, I shrugged her hand off my shoulder. "Jesus Mar, you got me scared for nothing," I sighed in relief. "No, I don't like Potter." I said confidently.
"Tell me you aren't starting to fancy Potter," She emphasized.
"Not fancy him, but I like him, yeah." I admitted. Was it such a bad thing? I was allowed to enjoy his company, when he wasn't asking me out. And undoubtedly, he hardly even asked me out anymore.
"Like, or like like?" Marlene clarified.
"Christ, are we in second year?" I demanded, running a hand through my scalp. "I enjoy his company. He's my partner for two big projects, I think it's acceptable to get to know him a little better if we'll be spending the whole year together, is that such a bad thing?"
Marlene raised her hands in the air, as if in surrender. "I never said it was a bad thing," She said, a hint of song in her voice. "You did."
And then she winked at me knowingly, and left without even a goodbye, a skip in her step that wasn't there before.
"It's a bad thing because I don't want this to ruin our friendship!" I called too late. Why on earth was everyone getting the sudden impression that I fancied Potter? Come on! They knew me! I couldn't possibly like Potter... the arrogant, bullying, self-centered, careless, flirtatious, irresponsible, thoughtless, patronizing Potter!
God, I couldn't stand how he held himself on such a high pedestal! He thought he ruled the school, and he bullied everyone to keep it that way. He didn't give a damn about anybody but his best mates, and he winked at anything with legs!
Catching my reflection in the cracked mirror, I noticed my face was burning. I ran the cold water, jumping back as Moaning Myrtle came out instead.
"Hello," She sung moodily. "What are you doing here? Come to taunt me with your prettiness and your livingness?" She flew straight up in my face, and I jumped back.
"Don't be self-centered, Myrtle, the world doesn't revolve around you." I said with emphasis.
Much like my present situation, in third year I had brought Marlene in here to talk about how much I hated Potter for hexing Severus again. Myrtle had glided through me countless times—scaring me shitless—moaning loudly about how she wished boys would fight over her again.
"Again?" Marlene had quoted dubiously. "When have boys ever fought over you?"
Ever since then, Myrtle hadn't exactly taken a shining to myself and my hot-tempered, feisty friend.
However, I refused to move my meeting place someplace else—this place was too good to be true, completely empty 24/7!—and so I dealt with Myrtle every time I had boy problems (or more specifically, Potter problems).
"What boy problems have you now," Myrtle sighed. As much as she may hate to admit it, I was pretty much the only action Myrtle saw in here. She hated me, but she loved my gossip.
"Like hell I'm telling you," I rolled my eyes, splashing my rosy face with cold water and drying it with my sleeves.
"Is it about Potter?" She sung in a voice that was not pleasing to the ears in the least. It sounded like a cat getting its tail stuck in the doorway.
"I don't have any problems with him." I said haughtily, pushing all thoughts from him from my mind.
"Don't be silly, I heard you speaking with her." The last word dripping with as much venom as Myrtle could muster.
"Whatever Myrtle, go back to moaning." I said breezily. I had learned at an early age that the best way to deal with gossips is to completely ignore them. The harder they press for information, the more vague you become.
I left the lavatories with her yelling words I don't care to repeat, and I held my head high until I bumped into...
"Remus!" I said, surprised. "Not skipping I hope?" I teased.
"Actually, yes." He admitted, rubbing his arm. "I can't stand Arithmancy."
"We should study for the test together," I suggested. "What are you doing after classes?"
"Er, today's no good for me, sorry." He said limply. "I've got a, er, pre-arranged thing."
"Sure thing." I smiled, trying not to read into how vague he sounded. "Maybe tomorrow?" I suggested.
He shook his head as no, clearly uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, this week's pretty full for me."
Trying not to take this at heart, I nodded, forcing an understanding smile. I didn't fail to notice that he didn't suggest that we meet next week, though. I didn't dare suggest it; my ego was bruised enough and didn't need yet another fake excuse to soften the blow.
"So er—bye," He said awkwardly, walking at what was almost a jog to turn the corner.
And I walked back to Arithmancy alone, realizing that Remus was practically my only friend in this class. The class was half full of Ravenclaws who stereotypically thought they were smarter than the rest of the class and only spoke amongst themselves, and the rest of the half of the class was too shy to talk to anybody. Remus and I sat in the very back, his seat directly in front of mine.
We worked together every time Hobbs finished talking and gave us in class-assignments. He would usually turn around with one of the following:
"What?"
"OK, this isn't even English now."
"Professor Hobbs has officially gone mad,"
"Lily I need heeeellllp."
I'd laugh, and try my best to help him. Remus and I both took this class because we agreed it would be a challenge, but we had no idea the challenge would be this impossible. Whether it be the teacher or the subject, we had homework every single night, a test every week, and Hobbs constantly picked us to answer random questions in the middle of class (that was the worst because if you got the answer wrong, the Ravenclaws all laughed condescendingly in your face).
However, with Remus suddenly giving me the cold-shoulder (to be fair, he was quite pleasant about the whole thing, I guess I'd just expected a better explanation from him), I had never felt more alone in this class full of—and you can't quote me on this because technically I never said it aloud—nerds.
Seriously. I was pretty sure there were two people in this class who were in relationships and they were in a relationship with each other. Not that dating someone made you cool or anything, because in which case I'd be the nerdiest nerd of nerd history. Then again, I was taking Arithmancy.
"Now class," Professor Hobbs pushed his heavy-framed glasses higher up on his nose, and pulling up his already high trousers. I swear to God, this entire class was a living, breathing stereotype. I had never felt more out of place then I did at that moment, without Remus. "You all know we have a test next Wednesday. I hope you're all prepared, and I've written the homework on the board. If you have any questions about the lesson I taught today, now is the time to ask."
The best—and only great—thing about Professor Hobbs was that every class, five minutes before the bell, he let us ask him any questions we had.
As I raised my hand and looked around the classroom, I was not at all surprised to see that my hand was the only hand up, per usual.
"Yes, Lily." He called on me, grabbing a tissue from his desk and blowing his nose.
"Um, yes, I didn't understand what you said about carrying over the 17 in problem number four." I said. As usual, quiet snickers erupted from the Ravenclaws' side of the classroom and as usual, it took the force of the almighty Gods to keep me from shouting at them, "YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SUPERIOR BUT WHO HAS A DATE TO THE NEXT HOGSMEADE TRIP?"
Admittedly, it wasn't me. But that would change, I hoped. There was this one boy in my History of Magic class—
"Alright," Hobbs waved his wand and the problem appeared on the board once more. "Did you understand the theorem before that?" He wheezed.
"No, sir." I admitted.
Flashes of hands went up in the class even before Hobbs could ask for someone in the class to explain it to me. I rolled my eyes, feeling useless in this class. Tommy Jenkins, a boy with light orange hair and more freckles than me, was called on. Unnecessarily, he stood up—as if I couldn't hear him when he was sitting—and cleared his phlegm before explaining in the exact words what Hobbs had already said fifteen minutes ago.
Unable to control my sarcasm, I said, "Thank you, Tommy. But let me ask you this: Is it mathematically correct to believe that if a substance does not change, it will produce the same exact response, no matter when the time that you test it?"
"Well, providing the substance doesn't change, then yes, its response should stay the exact same at any given time." He said, in a tone that said he was just playing along as if humoring a small child.
"Well then, Tommy," I began, standing up so I could see him eye to eye and raising the sarcasm meter to the high hundreds. "If Professor Hobbs said it in those exact words and I didn't understand twenty minutes ago, will I then understand when you say the exact same thing, twenty minutes later?"
The bell cut him off just as he opened his mouth. I ran out of class before I could be patronized further or told off by Hobbs. I'm sure I would come to regret that little episode by tomorrow, but for now, I was proud of myself for finally standing up to that geek.
I could take not being the smartest in the class, but I couldn't take a demeaning tone from someone who was supposed to be my equal. And so what, if my temper took the better of me sometimes? Tommy needed to be taken down a notch, and there sure as hell was no one else in that class who was going to do it.
"Looking awfully pleased," Potter caught up with me in the hallways. I had never noticed before, but it was actually normal that we spoke in between classes all the sudden. I can't remember when this changed.
"I'll tell you about it later," I said, smirking smugly. Again, I couldn't remember when we started sharing stories. When did this all start? I guess I really was friends with Potter. But the main question wasn't when, but how?
"Gotta run," He said suddenly, looking at his watch. "Catch you later."
And, as if it were perfectly normal that he was promising to see me later on, I smiled and nodded. "Sounds good."
Author's Note: I hope you all liked this chapter, and if you did, please review it for me! I really love to hear from you all.
-Taylor