Harley Quinn woke up slowly, dazed and confused, and suddenly felt a sharp pain in her skull. "Ow," she muttered, shutting her eyes tightly. "Mr. J, I told you after last time to try and be a little more gentle! I don't want you doing anything that's gonna hurt in the morning! Why can't you ever respect me enough to…Mr. J?"

She looked around to see that the cell was empty, and it wasn't morning. "Mr. J?" she repeated, standing up and emerging into the cell block. "Hey, Red, you seen Mr. J?" she asked, knocking on the door to Poison Ivy's cell as she passed.

"For God's sake, Harley, it's 5 in the morning!" shouted Ivy. "I haven't seen anything but the inside of my eyelids, until you woke me up to ask about the goddamn clown! I hope he's dead!"

"Y'know, you could have just said no," snapped Harley. "Guess some of us ain't morning people," she muttered as she continued down the cell block. She noticed that both Tetch and Crane's cells were empty too, and this made her even more nervous. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep in Mr. J's arms. He certainly wouldn't have planned an escape attempt with Tetch and Crane and left her behind. That didn't make any sense, even for him.

She crept out of the cell block slowly. The asylum was silent, deadly silent, except for a faint voice coming from one of the corridors. Harley followed the sound of the voice, and was surprised to discover that it was coming from beneath the floor.

She noticed a vent in the floor and slipped over to this, opening it up and struggling inside the ventilation tunnel. The voice became clearer as she got closer to it, and found herself at the end of the tunnel staring through another vent and recognizing the word: "Joker."

Through the cracks in the grate, she saw a small laboratory, with three figures chained to the wall facing her. Three figures she knew. Standing in front of Mr. J was a man with his back to her, a bald man in a lab coat, with a deep voice.

"I suppose it is better this way," said the man. "So I can enjoy the pleasure of killing you myself. Although I did go through so much trouble, building this lab in secret in one of the many forgotten rooms under the asylum, gradually moving my equipment here under cover of darkness, all so that I could test my work and then complete it. I had so much success with my controlled experiment that it seems a shame to abandon the project without achieving the desired results from my technology."

"Your technology?" repeated Tetch. "You stole it from me!"

"It was intiated by you," agreed Strange, nodding. "But I perfected it. Oh, your invention was very good, Mr. Tetch, but could it have driven a man to completely turn on the one thing he loved? Could it have so overwhelmed the brain that it would destroy the object of its fixation?"

"Of course it couldn't," retorted Tetch. "I would never use it for anything so monstrous!"

"Monstrous?" repeated Strange. "Just, I would call it. I admit, it is a shame about Miss Pleasance, but I had to make sure the device would work. So you were my test subject, Mr. Tetch. You should feel privileged – you personally experienced the full realization of your own work. A device so powerful that one man can completely control another man's mind. Something that overcomes even the deepest and most dedicated love."

"That was never my work!" shouted Tetch. "Even when I could have made Alice forget all about her fiance, I never used it for that purpose! It would have demeaned her, made her into a soulless doll, an empty shell! I could never have done that to my Alice, or anyone!"

"I appreciate you do not quite have the stomach for pure science," said Strange, nodding. "You must overcome emotion in the interests of progress, just as I have done. Just as I have made you do, and Miss Quinn too. Oh, it is a glorious achievement, Mr. Tetch. I am sorry you do not share my appreciation, but you were never my main target. That was the Joker," he said, turning back to him.

Joker chuckled. "Told you! It's always about me! Johnny, you owe me twenty bucks!"

"I thought it would be poetic justice to have your life ended by the person you created, the person who you believed would never hurt you," continued Strange, ignoring him. "The one person who was capable of loving a creature like you. I imagined you would have appreciated the irony in your last seconds of life. Quite the final joke, wouldn't you agree?"

"Well, I've heard better," said Joker, shrugging. His eyes suddenly fell on Harley staring through the grate at him, and he smiled. "But why me, Hugo? What've I ever done to you? Is it a long story? Take your time."

"It's nothing personal, Joker, believe me," said Strange, turning away from him and going over to his desk. "But the scum of Gotham must be eradicated somehow, and you are the most prevalent, constant, and destructive threat to this city's safety. Your death will be the beginning, the glorious beginning to the complete cleansing of this city from all its degenerates, and ushering in a new age of renewal…"

While he was speaking, Joker caught Harley's eye and began making hand gestures. Harley stared at him in confusion, clearly not comprehending. Joker sighed, holding up two fingers. "Two syllables," whispered Harley, nodding. He held up one finger. "First syllable," she murmured, nodding again.

Joker began flapping his arms. Harley just stared back at him blankly, shaking her head. He sighed, and then held up two fingers against his mouth, in the shape of fangs. Harley shook her head again, puzzled.

He shook his head, and then held up two fingers. "Second syllable," she whispered, nodding again. He pointed to himself. "Clown," she murmured. "Criminal? Lunatic? Um…puddin'?"

Joker glared at her, but forced a smile as Strange turned back to him. "And best of all, your destruction will also destroy the one person in this world you are obsessed with destroying. Your nemesis. You should be thanking me. Once you are gone, Bruce Wayne will have no…"

"Bruce Wayne?" repeated Joker, annoyed. "Why would I care what happens to that rich son of a bitch?"

Strange stared at him. "You mean you don't know who your nemesis is?"

"Of course I know who my nemesis is!" snapped Joker. "I'm not an idiot! It's Batman, not Bruce Wayne! Everyone knows that! Geez, Stange, I thought you were supposed to be smart!"

"But Bruce Wayne is…"

"My nemesis is BATMAN!" interrupted Joker loudly, emphasizing the word and glancing pointedly at Harley. "BATMAN! That's who I'm talking about! BATMAN!"

"Why do you keep saying it like that?" asked Crane.

"Just so everyone knows I mean BATMAN!" repeated Joker. "It's no charade, it's BATMAN! The answer is BATMAN!"

And Harley suddenly realized what he was trying to say. "Oh, you want me to get Batman!" she exclaimed aloud, and then immediately clapped a hand to her mouth.

"Oh, for God's sake, Harley!" shouted Joker, as Strange immediately withdrew his gun and pointed it at the vent.

"Come out, Miss Quinn," said Strange. Harley obeyed slowly, climbing out of the grate. Strange seized her by the arm, smiling. "Well, perhaps I will be able to finish testing my experiment after all," he murmured. "All it will take is a little persuasion."

He reached behind Harley's ear and planted the microchip again. Then he handed her the gun. "Now, my dear, kill the Joker," he murmured.

Harley's eyes had taken on a blank, vacant stare. She raised the gun to Joker's face, and he looked back at her. Their eyes met and something shone in Harley's for a second. She hesitated. "No," she whispered. "No, I won't do it."

Strange's eyebrows narrowed. "I think I gave you an order, my dear," he snapped. "I am in control of your mind, and you will obey me. Kill the Joker," he repeated firmly.

Her finger tightened on the trigger, but that something still burned in her eyes. "No!" she repeated firmly, shutting her eyes as if fighting against herself. "No, I won't! I would never…"

"You will do as I say!" snapped Strange. "I control your every thought and action! Now do it!"

"No!" shrieked Harley, as her finger shook against the trigger. "I won't kill puddin'! I love him!"

And suddenly a black shape burst from the vent into the room, knocking Strange to the ground. Harley's mind was released from his control and she fell to the floor with a sob.

"Good timing, Bats, as usual!" chuckled Joker, as Batman handcuffed Strange. "Now see, Hugo, this guy here's my nemesis," he said, nodding at Batman. "He don't look nothing like Bruce Wayne. I dunno what kinda crazy delusion you're under, but I guess it's a good thing you set up shop in a lunatic asylum – it's clearly where you belong!" he laughed. "Did you hear him, Batsy? He thinks you're Bruce Wayne!"

"Crazy," agreed Batman, nodding and unchaining them. "Dr. Leland informed me some supplies had been going missing. She suspected a thief, but thermal scans showed me there was actually someone working in secret under the asylum. Couple that with what could only be some sort of mind control device, and it didn't take me long to figure out you were behind it, Professor Strange."

"And that's why you're the World's Greatest Detective, Batsy!" said Joker, beaming at him.

"I'm handing Professor Strange over to police custody," said Batman, pressing the button to release the door in the ceiling. "You four return to your cells, or I'll be after you next."

He climbed up, dragging Strange after him. "Should we do as he says?" muttered Crane.

"We could attempt an escape, but I imagine we'd be caught by the guards," sighed Tetch. "And if the police are outside we probably won't get far. Anyway, I still have some tea left in my cell. It'll have gone cold, but I hate to waste it."

"And cookies," agreed Joker, nodding. "Can't pass up the chance for cookies. Let's go!"

Harley was still kneeling on the floor, tears in her eyes. As Crane and Tetch climbed out of the room, Joker came over to her. "C'mon, cupcake!" he said cheerfully. "Didn't you hear me? Cookies!"

She looked up at him in agony. "I almost killed you," she whispered. "I could feel myself about to kill you…I…"

She started sobbing. Joker just stared at her in puzzlement. "But pumpkin pie, that wasn't you," he said. "That was Strange controlling your mind. Didn't you get it when he was saying all that?"

"Of course I got it, Mr. J!" she snapped. "But it was still me! I was gonna…I was gonna…oh, Mr. J!" she sobbed, embracing him tightly. "I'm so sorry!"

He patted her head. "Look, kid, this is awkward," he muttered. "You got plenty to apologize for in general: being a useless waste of space, being a dumb blonde, being a clumsy broad, not being able to figure out very obvious charade clues, and then blowing the whole stealth thing…but apologizing for something you didn't do, I mean, that's just crazy, ain't it? And haven't we had enough crazy from Strange and his Bruce Wayne theory tonight? So why don't we just forget this whole thing ever happened, kay?"

"I don't think I can ever forget that I almost killed you," whispered Harley.

"That you what?" he asked blankly.

"I almost killed you!" she repeated. "Just now, Mr. J, don't you remember?"

"Nope," he retorted. "Can't say I recall anything about that. Sounds like a lotta nonsense to me, and if you mention it again, I'm gonna shoot you in the head. Now let's go, you dumb blonde, before Johnny and Jervis eat all the cookies!"

He seized her hand and dragged her out of the room. Harley stared at him in disbelief, and then beamed. "Oh, Mr. J!" she breathed. "I love you!"