The Losses That Plague You
Chapter 2 : Fun With Biotics
Shepard opened his omni-tool to enter the access code for Garrus' apartment overlooking the Bachjret Ward of the Citadel. The slid open and Kaidan and Shepard entered. They kicked off their shoes and then looked around the apartment.
"Wow." Kaidan muttered as he was greeted by an open-plan apartment. The back wall was cluttered with articles, photographs and sources all focused on a certain turian Spectre, Saren. "Garrus really did want to catch Saren."
"Yeah… no kidding." Shepard replied, just as shocked as Kaidan was. "I'm surprised he didn't have enough dirt on him to get him on his own, there's so much here."
Shepard advanced on the wall as Kaidan reached out to stop him.
"Come on Shepard" Kaidan spoke with concern clear in his voice. "That chapter of our life is over." He smiled, pulling Shepard into a tight embrace.
"I'm just glad you made it out alive." Shepard smiled, taking in Kaidan's scent. He smelled different somehow, but Shepard put it down to current events. He leaned his head back, whilst still embracing Kaidan, to look at his face. "Now what was this about over-the-clothes rubbing?"
Kaidan giggled as he rubbed the side of Shepard's face. "Let's go find the guest room and find out" He smiled as he kissed his lover.
The guest room was small room just off the end of the hallway. It was a small room, barely enough space for the double bed that sat up against the back, right hand side. Kaidan crawled up the bed, still fully clothed. Shepard grinned as he crawled up Kaidan, like a predator that caught its prey. Kaidan grinned as he ran his hands up Shepard's arms and settled them on Shepard's shoulder as he pulled him down for a kiss.
Shepard smiled and pulled away as he ground his hips against Kaidan's, that sent a wave of heat through both their bodies. Kaidan purred as dragged his hands down Shepard's back, fingers digging into his lover. Shepard dove into a passionate kiss as Kaidan pulled his hips closer and ground them rougher, trying to generate friction.
At that moment biotic flares began to dance around both their bodies. The flares danced around them, increasing the stimulation their touched provoked in each other. Kaidan glides he thumb over Shepard's bottom lip as he admired his lover. He held Shepard's head and pulled him in for a hungry kiss as their hips ground against each other once more. Kaidan gasped as the stimulation of the flares and Shepard's touch warmed him.
A weightless feeling crept up on Shepard as he realised he and Kaidan began to levitate slightly off the bed. Shepard smiled into a kiss as he clutched to his lover, their bodies perfectly aligned.
"Who's holding who up?" Shepard whispered between kisses.
"We're holding each other up." Kaidan whispered, as he stroked his lovers shaved head. Shepard knew how true that was, if Kaidan wasn't here Shepard would crumble.
A headache began to build in Kaidan's head. He tried his best to ignore it, a moment of displeasure crept across his face. Shepard missed the look, much to Kaidan's relief. He took a chance to dive into a deep kiss, as he wrapped he legs around Shepard. Shepard took his chance to increase the friction between them, which resulted in Kaidan's headache to rise to a point where he flailed in pain. He released Shepard from his biotic hold which threw Shepard off balance and caused him to release Kaidan as they both dropped onto the bed.
Shepard couldn't help but burst into laughter as Kaidan held onto his temple.
"I'm sorry…" Shepard laughed. "Are you okay?" He managed to pull a straight face as he settled down next to Kaidan.
Kaidan shot him a glare as he rubbed his head. Shepard laughed again, covering his mouth to try and stifle the laughter.
"Sorry, Shepard." He smiled through his pain. "I guess my implant is still in overdrive."
"It's okay, I understand." He smiled as he rubbed his lover's stomach, his fingers tracing over his clothed muscles.
The headache subsided as Kaidan but his arm around Shepard and Shepard settled into the crook of Kaidan's arm. They lay together for a while, neither speaking. Without the distraction Shepard's mind drifted into darker territory. Kaidan felt his lover tense.
"Tell me." Kaidan spoke softly. Shepard gave him a puzzled look. "Tell me what you're thinking about?"
This shocked Shepard, Kaidan had gotten to know him so well.
"I was just thinking about everyone we lost." Shepard began. "It hurts, you know?"
"I do Shepard, we all lost people. It's okay to feel bad, but it's not your fault. Okay?" Kaidan comforted his lover as he kissed his forehead.
"Liara lost her Mother, she watched her die." Shepard's throat grew tighter. "How do you even cope with that? It's killing me just thinking about it."
"You brought Benezia back Shepard." Kaidan spoke. "You brought her back to fight Saren, you brought her back so Liara would have something to remember her by."
"It doesn't make it hurt any less, I couldn't save her, just like I couldn't save Admiral Kahoku. I should've been able to stop a good man from dying."
"Shepard, that was not your fault, not in anyway." Kaidan said as he pulled Shepard closer. "I know everyone expects things of you, but you can't control the galaxy. People make their own choices, you aren't responsible for that." He kissed Shepard's head once again.
"I left Ash to die, I'm responsible for that." Shepard whispered, a tear trickling down his face, a clear sign of the cracks already showing.
"You had to make a choice. Ash was a great person, a great soldier." Kaidan's mind began to wonder. "Why did you pick me? Give me a straight answer, not the one you gave on the Normandy."