The Losses That Plague You
Chapter 3 : Selfish Love
"It's selfish… I picked you because… because I'm in love with you." Shepard paused as Kaidan held his breath. They've been romantically involved for a while, but neither had admitted the love they held for each other. Kaidan released the breath he didn't realise he was holding.
"I guess I'm selfish too." Kaidan began, Shepard looked into Kaidan's eyes. "Because, I'm glad you chose me, because I'm in love with you too, Shepard." Kaidan smiled looking into Shepard's eyes. "I love you John Shepard."
Shepard's hand traced the side of Kaidan's face as he pulled him in for a deep kiss as his tears dried up.
"You keep me sane, you know that?" Shepard smiled. "I couldn't live in this galaxy without you." He held Kaidan's face as they smiled at each other.
The door slid open as Shepard was making a glass of water. He turned to greet his turian friend.
"Hey Shepard, how're you holding up?" Garrus asked as he walked across this apartment towards Shepard.
"Hey Garrus, I'm doing just fine. Thanks for the guest room, by the way."
"I'm glad you found it alright, it's no trouble." Garrus smiled as he pulled out a dextro drink. "Want some?" He chuckled
Shepard laughed. "No thank you."
Kaidan popped his head around the corner and smiled at Shepard, gesturing for him to come with him. Shepard smiled at Kaidan and winked at him.
"I think I might turn in early." Shepard spoke as he walked towards Kaidan. "Goodnight, Garrus."
Kaidan pulled at his lovers arm as he dragged him down the hallway. "Goodnight." He called out.
Garrus watched as Shepard disappeared around the corner, he called out goodnight as he turned to prepare his drink.
Shepard awoke to an empty bed, Shepard noticed there wasn't even an indentation to indicate someone had slept in the bed with him.
"Kaidan?" He called out. No answer. He got dressed quickly and walked towards the lounge.
He walked around the corner and stumbled upon Kaidan, who was putting a glass into the automated washer.
"There you are." Shepard sighed with relief. "How long have you been up?"
"Couple hours, Garrus left a note addressed to you. I haven't read it." Kaidan smiled gesturing to the note.
"That's strange… Why didn't he address it to both of us?" Shepard replied, picking up the folded note that had Shepard written quickly across it.
"It's Garrus, he is strange." Kaidan chuckled, approaching the couch to sit down.
Shepard opened the letter and read its contents.
'Shepard, I have some more errands to run. It seems C-Sec can't do anything right. There's some human food in the kitchen, I hope you like it. See you later. Garrus'
"Garrus has more errands to run, so I guess we'll have the day to ourselves." Shepard smiled, putting the note down and cuddling up to his lover on the couch. "He took down all the Saren clippings too."
"Oh I didn't even notice." Kaidan said turning to look behind him.
"Not very perceptive, are you?" Shepard laughed.
"Shut up" Kaidan laughed. "Fancy watching some vids?"
"Anything for you." Shepard smiled, kissing Kaidan. "Let's see what food Garrus has first? Vids make me hungry."
The last vid had just finished, and the credits were rolling up the screen. Kaidan heard a quiet sniffling coming from Shepard.
"Shepard?" Kaidan almost laughed. "Are you crying?"
Shepard leant forward drying his eyes.
"I'm emotionally vulnerable right now." He sniffed, rubbing his eyes. He looked at his lover. "It's not my fault okay?"
Kaidan smiled, pulling his lover back into his arms, chuckling softly as he cuddled him.
"His wife died, how are you not crying?" Shepard sniffed, cuddling closer to Kaidan.
"I was too busy watching you." Kaidan chuckled, then kissed Shepard's forehead.
"You creep." Shepard laughed as he kissed Kaidan deeply.
"I'm your creep." Kaidan smiled, as he got up. "It's late, fancy going to bed."
"It's not late." Shepard stated.
"Shepard we watched 6 vids, we were on that couch for about 12 hours." Kaidan laughed, trying to reason with Shepard.
"I guess, I'll be there in a minute." He smiled, standing up and heading to the kitchen.
"Hurry." Kaidan smiled as he strolled down to the guest bedroom.
Shepard turned on the tap and made himself a glass of water. He downed the water in seconds as placed the glass down. He turned to go to bed and was greeted by his reflection. His eyes were red and puffy, he walked closer to his reflection. He had bags under his eyes too, although he thought he had been sleeping fine. He put it down to the tears and constantly watching vids.
The door slide open and Garrus walked in and dropped himself on the couch.
"Hey Shepard." Garrus greeted him with a yawn.
"Rough day?" Shepard smiled.
"You could say that." Garrus admitted, looking at Shepard. "Have you been crying?" Garrus asked with real concern.
"I've been watching vids all day." Shepard laughed.
"Oh, Shepard, did the soppy love stories make you cry." Garrus teased.
"I'm emotionally vulnerable!" Shepard whined as he turned and stalked off to the bedroom.
Garrus broke into laughter.
"Goodnight, Shepard!" He called, still laughing.
"Night!" Shepard growled. "Turian bastard." He muttered under his breath with a smile.