The nights were what Castiel feared the most. The days were fine, a relief almost. They were filled with the singular task of finding Dean. But the nights always crept up on him. The sky would dim and the sun would leave him and the never ending infinity of stars would appear. Once upon a time he would look up at them and think proudly and almost fondly of his brothers and sisters up there. Now, the stars only bring a painful reminder of what he did to them. They were ripped from their home and cast down all because of his foolish actions.

Fatigue pulled his shoulders down into a slump as his feet dragged across the rough bitumen road. His ears picked up the sound first. The sweet, distant purr of the impala. He felt his heart pick up speed, a small smile spreading slowly across his face.

Dean.

The aching in his feet prevented him from moving faster than a small shuffle. The sound was getting louder now causing his heart to beat faster and faster. Excitement spilled through his veins in a rush so over powering he was knocked to his knees. Cas didn't know what was wrong with him. His hands shook and his heart raced like nothing he'd ever experienced before. Emotions tumbled through him as he felt a half-sob-half-laugh huff from his chest. His eyes pricked with the threat of tears as he saw the sleek familiar car travel defiantly toward him. For a moment, he thought the car wouldn't stop; Dean hadn't seen him. His smile slipped as he watched the car drive straight for him with no signs of slowing down.

The sound of rubber and deafening screech of tyres skidding across wet bitumen jolted Castiel's heart into his throat. He was on the opposite side of the road to the car, so when Dean swung open his door and swiftly stepped out, he was only a silhouette in the moonlight. Cas wanted to savour that picture of him. His eyes alight with both relief and wariness, his mouth curved up slightly but his brow furrowed down in confusion.

"Cas!?" Dean's voice was firm and hard, like he was angry. Like Castiel was expecting. If he had of stayed with Dena, none of this would have happened. He didn't know how much Dean knew about Castiel's current human status. Cas's stomach began to do somersaults as Dean walked quickly across the road and gripped his shoulder tight. "Cas where the hell have you been?" His eyes dropped from his face long enough to take in a rather dishevelled Castiel. "What the hell happened to you Cas?" His tone was softer the second time, almost worried. Castiel closed his eyes for a brief moment and breathed in the scent of the cool crisp night.

"Later." He opened his eyes to see a rather odd expression cross Dean's face. His voice had come out as barely a whisper and talking felt like sandpaper being scraped along his throat. "Dean…I need to tell…you som-" Castiel didn't get to finish his sentence. He was being pulled to his feet by an insistent hand on his shoulder.

"You know what Cas? We're going to start new. I don't care where you've been, what happened to you and why you haven't been answering my calls-" Dean didn't know. He didn't know about what Metatron had done to him. "-But you're going to fix Sam."

"Dean. That's what I need to tell you." The roughness of Castiels voice scared even him so he was not concerned when Deans eyes went wide and he flinched back a little bit.

"Can you help Sam? That's all I want Cas."

Cas opened his mouth to give the reply that was hanging on the end of his tongue. Only he stopped. The desperation etched into ever line on Deans face made him give an answer that was not entirely a lie, but not a solid truth.

"Maybe. Sam is damaged-"

"- in ways even you can't heal. I know. You've said that before."

…

It took Castiel a lot of effort to physically drag himself out of the warmth and comfort of the impala. The smell of the musky leather and feel of the engine vibrating softly threatened to send him off to sleep. Unfortunately, the drive was not long enough for him to sleep without Dean suspecting something. He knew he should tell him. Secrets had ripped them apart before and just the thought of his happening again made Cas feel almost ill. And yet, he couldn't stand the look of disappointment Dean would wear if he were to tell him. Right now, he'd wager that Dean's last option had been Cas and while that hurt slightly, it didn't hurt nearly as much as the thought of letting the hunter down.

Castiel made Dean walk in front of him to show him the way to Sam so that while his back was turned, Castiel could drop the mask of indifference and let the pain show.

"Heya Sammy. You're awake!" Sam gave a weak smile in response before barely whispering:

"Its…Sam!"

Castiel gave a small huff of amusement at that. Sam was on what looked like Deaths door and yet he was still correcting Dean over the childish nickname. Sam's eyes flickered toward him with an incredulous expression soon following.

"Cas?"

"Hello Sam." Castiel gave a small nod of greeting toward the sick hunter. Without another word, Castiel moved toward Sam with a tentative outstretched hand. His cool fingers contrasted starkly to the heat radiating from Sam's skin. Cas's gut lurched at what he felt. Nothing. He felt he had previously connected with a soul, it was like that soul was the only thing in the world that mattered. He could remember the warmth and pulse of human soul wrapped around his grace. Now, all he could feel was a cold emptiness.

Castiel forced back his own emotion and made a show of looking very concentrated. He pinched his brows together and closed his eyes briefly just for good measure.

"I can't heal him. But I know something that can." He kept his eyes trained on Sam. Could Sam feel that he hadn't done anything but place three fingers on his temple?

"Something?"

Castiel pulled his eyes from Sam to meet Dean's quizzical gaze. "Yes. The most that I can gather is that Sam has been poisoned with a dark magic, a magic that can only be combated by a magic of the same kind."

Dean looked wrecked. Now they were in full light, Castiel could see the dark circles under his eyes and the downward tilt of his mouth. It frustrated him that he couldn't do more for, not just Sam, but both of them.

"You need rest, both of you. Go and get some sleep. I'll see what I can do for Sam." Castiel hated to admit it, but he felt his own body crumple under the weight of fatigue as he headed for the door. He longed to be buried under the warm covers of a soft bed, to let his eyelids fall shut and be swept away into a land of complete freedom.

He didn't make it entirely to the door, however, because a warm hand pulled at his elbow, demanding his attention.

"Cas, you look beat. I still don't want to know what happened, but seeing as we're starting new, get some rest yeah?"

Castiel suspected the news of being able to help Sam was what had gotten Dean in such a good mood. Never the less, Castiel wasn't about to pass up the offer. After all, this was what he travelled over sixty miles for. Acceptance.

He let Dean drag him past Sam's room to the very end of the corridor. There was a small room tucked away at the very back. It wasn't much, but to Castiel it was the first thing he could call a place of his own since…

He pushed thoughts of heaven from his mind and gave a small smile to Dean.

"Thank you Dean."

Dean looks like he wants to say something more. He shifts uncomfortably under Cas's gaze. Castiel was lost.

"Well…see you in the morning then." Dean looks almost relieved as he walks away, like there was something about Castiel that was bothering him. All thoughts of Sam, Dean and heaven fly from his head as he spots the pillow in the bed. He barely has enough energy left to shed his coat before his face hits the pillow and he's out cold.