Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible™ or any character, location or event from that said show.
Anything For Love by Meatloaf.
Last time on Legend of a Monkey Master
- Ron is kidnapped and possessed by the spirit of Yono. Kim is forced to enter the Temple of Monkey to retrieve the Idol of Yono.
- Junior expresses an attraction to Kim
- The Lord Monkey's Fist, Warhawk, escapes with the Idol.
Ch 7: Monkey-loaf
"Lord Monty Fiske has been forced to abandon his expedition in Laos after a daring ambush by bandits trading in precious artefacts. The week long expedition had enjoyed spectacular success with the unearthing of a temple said to rival the pyramids of Egypt. However, the future of the dig now remains in doubt. Alicia Myers reporting from Laos."
The setting on the TV changed from the pair of anchors at a desk to a middle aged reporter, the stations top international journalist, smartly dressed in the foreground of a picture. Pedestrians and onlookers crossed from left to right or right to left immediately behind her along the red brick pathways amongst beautifully maintained gardens. Over her left shoulder, beyond a wall stood a great Buddhist temple, its spire reaching into the sky.
"Heartbreak for Lord Montgomery Fiske. The world renowned archaeologist and naturalist today indefinitely postponed work at his archaeological site deep in the Laotian mountains and sent his entire expedition home after a raid by bandits searching for historical artefacts. While it is unclear which items were taken it seems likely these they are now destined for the thriving underground market trade in such treasures. Fortunately no one was hurt during the attack and in a statement released to the media Lord Fiske has cited safety is, "our number one priority after such a harrowing experience."
"There's no hiding it from your Mom now," Ron said beside her.
Kim hung her head. The pair of them looked weary, solemn and defeated. What Kim had been touted as a fun, safe, educational field trip had turned into a disaster so quickly.
"We have Wade," she ventured. "Maybe he could play an edited the broadcast for my parents TV and…?"
"And when your mum hears about it the next day at work? Sorry Kim, you're going to have to face up to this eventually."
Kim hung her head. "I know."
Team Possible were barely a quarter way into an eighteen hour trip back to Middleton, almost 15 of those hours airborne. Eighteen hours with nought but on their minds but their failure in Laos. In light of the unexpected attacks Lord Fiske felt it would irresponsible to continue the dig so he ordered it packed up. His prize taken from him and a loved student turned traitor he was returning home utterly defeated: on an even longer flight.
Accepting culpability for Ron's misadventure he purchased Team Possible's return tickets. First class all the way. So now they got to contemplate being beaten in luxury. Watching breaking news of the disaster on a widescreen TV fixed into stern of the seating ahead. Fiske also promised he would put in a good word to any University they desired when the time came. One bright spot for Ron Stoppable who had once been enticed into running errands for legendary "the ghost in the machine" hacker Wade in exchange for a little computer wizardry. A guaranteed placing in any College of his choosing.
"The criminals were well organised and no mere opportunists. While no names have yet been released it appears the perpetrators were working from inside Lord Fiske's expedition. Infiltrating the operation as academics and gaining the trust of expedition members they plotted to betray. If proven true this would mean groundwork by the conspirators may have begun a year or more ago. A scenario which has shaken the academic world severely and has local and international investigators baffled.
Adding insult to injury, one of the alleged conspirators handled Lord Fiske's negotiations with the Laotian government. In addition to the theft artefacts potentially worth hundreds of thousands of dollars on the black market they managed to de-fraud Fiske of ten's of millions of dollars. Tariffs and donations paid by Fiske to the Laotian government having been mysteriously withdrawn by an unknown third party. While no one from Global Justice Initiative will comment they have been indicated as looking into the case.
With the utter failure of this expedition and with possible duplicity on behalf of the government most sponsors have already pulled funding, Lord Fiske's personal finances are said to be in a precarious position. Possibly near bankruptcy and certainly unable to raise the funds needed for a return trip.
Kim balled her fists at this. "I can't believe they managed all that right under our noses. Wade found the irregularities. We knew the deal was fishy. The pieces were all there."
"You were there a week. On a school field trip! These guys - whoever, had this whole thing laid out for more than a year! You put the money trail to Fiske he thought it was a no big. This sitch is definitly not your fault."
It was the truth, not that it made a difference to how Kim felt. "Still. I hate knowing this happened to Monty. He was so nice to us. And between Hank Perkins, the Senior's and that Monkey Fist guy we haven't had a win in a long time."
Ron had noticed. He could not help but place her heavy criticism, directed at herself, squarely on upon own shoulders. He had alerted Perkins to the fact they were being recorded. He had almost iced the team attempting to disable the Senor Senior's security. He had been possessed and used to lure Kim into a deadly trap. He was the one who kept screwing up.
He did not know if Kim blamed him yet. She would. She had too deep down. He wanted her to. Anything to end this dance around the real issue.
Alicia Myers with that report. Thank you Alicia. Now we cross to Tony Marsh with a story on being in the wrong place at the worst time, but being the right person for the job. Proof that heroes do exist. Tony.
Miss Tony Marsh was reporting from closer to home. Outside Kim's home in fact.
"Oh no!"
Her exclamation drew attention from nearby passengers. Kim sank deeper into her chair but the damage was done. Sparks of recognition and sharp minds were beginning put the equation together.
"Last week the story around the world was Lord Montgomery Fiske's surprise invitation to teen world saver and sweetheart, Kim Possible, to be his guest of honour on his adventure into the South East Asian jungle. In recent months Kim has sparked public imagination, first leading authorities to a hive of terrorists responsible for sabotaging the work of Dr James Possible, her father, and bombing the Middleton Space Centre; and since saving the PGA from a grass mutagen introduced to courses worldwide by disgraced athlete Duff Killigan. Once again the prowess of this amazing individual was put to the test. Kim Possible was present during the reported ambush in the jungle by organised artefact black-marketers. Details remain sketchy with Lord Fiske refusing to comment in depth but he has now released a statement, in response repeated media questioning and public interest as to Kim Possible's status and actions during the raid, explaining he would like to personally thank Team Possible for saving his life and the life of personal valet. Each of whom were taken hostage and threatened. Perhaps the most stunning announcement during this episode, Lord Fiske confirmed it was Kim Possible and her companion who successfully negotiated with their captors to ensure no loss of life. Another amazing feat under the 'black belt' of the most famous and accomplished teen hero and a strong answer to critics who question her continued involvement in matters for the authorities and what is decried as gung-ho methods. Kim herself remains unavailable for comment and while no member of her family was willing to speak on camera….
"It doesn't sound so bad. You negotiated to save lives rather than jumped twenty armed thugs." Ron made an effort to suggest a bright side. If only half-heartedly. "And Monty managed to keep my mishap quiet." Ron added as if in jest but in reality self-depreciating
The latter is how it sounded to Kim because no one could joke about this. Kim had seen him in the temple; bourn witness to his harrowing experience. Had been, for the first time, utterly helpless. Even now – all the other disasters during this trip she knew how to face. She was angry with Junior and with herself and held a steely resolve to set things right. But the pain she knew Ron must be feeling, it frightened her.
She reached over and took his hand.
"I'm so sorry. For what happened to you. I couldn't save you. My best friend."
"Yeah. But I always need saving."
"I know that, but…." She stopped. Her expression was furious when she realised what she had just said. Not that Ron saw it. He turned slightly away.
As low as Kim was feeling it was difficult to shake Ron of his own perceived failings. She didn't bother to correct him further. If he felt half as bad as she did right now about Ron, Fiske, breaking her promise to her mother; it would be a fruitless gesture. She knew they should talk but he would not want to talk and it was easier to be angry right now.
Which Ron made easier. Reminding her how hard it was to keep his spirit down and why she loved his friendship. He finally squeezed her hand back and wore his trade-mark goofy smile and as mask.
"So. Junior crushing on you, what's with that?"
"Don't even! I feel dirty just thinking about it."
"Do you think he was right? Is every guy in the world," Ron went red even trying to say it, "crushing on you?"
"Get out!"
"You know people are looking at you. What about that guy stealing glances. He could be a surfer. Or a…."
He received a shove for his matchmaking effort. "He's too old for me!" she said in a hushed tone so the man wouldn't overhear. "And I was just on the news. Of course people are going to look!"
"What about all your fan mail?"
"Well that's…. They…. Some have love hearts but that's just…. It's cute…. People are kiddin' around when they say they want to marry you or…. When people throw themselves a celebrity no one actually means…."
"Did you mean it when you said you would marry Edward from Twilight? Or Justin Bieber'?
"Oh no! I wrote thank you replies to all of them."
"And people think I'm slow on the uptake."
It brightened her life to see her Ron-shine smirk return. Now if only she could tear it from his smug….
…
"Hi Ronald, sweetie. You must be on the plane right now so you won't get this message until you're home. I'm sorry, honey. Your father and I didn't expect you home from your field trip so soon. We're not going to be able to make it back until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest. We saw the news and we're so desperate to get home and give our brave man a hug as soon as we can but we're still…. Well. You'll see. We have a surprise and I hope it makes you feel a little better. Anyway, I'm going to call to call Anne and make arrangements to see that you're looked after. A hero like you shouldn't have to come home to cold house."
"Hero. Yeah," Ron murmured. Mobile pressed against his ear.
"Please call back when you get this message so we know you're alright. I know you are. It's just the NEWS never mentions you by name and it's a mother's right to worry."
Ron ended the call and closed his flip top mobile. "Guess what," he said to Kim who was waiting by their luggage.
He did not get to inform her what. He noticed her head crop up and, following her gaze, saw Anne Possible wave. Ron knew this meeting, as comforting as it was for Kim to be with her family, had been dreaded too. As things often do this reunion did not play out as the cinema drama Kim imagined in her mind.
"Your mother already explained the 'sitch' to us," Anne Possible beamed with delight and borrowed her daughter's terminology. "You'll be staying with us tonight Ronald. I won't take no for an answer." She knew more than she was willing to volunteer, the sparkle in her blue eyes proved it. Well, let her keep her secret. Ron felt too depressed for surprises right now.
"Now – Kim," Anne began. "We have to talk."
The tweeb's, Kim's twin brothers Jim and Tim, sniggered behind her. Safely out of Kim's reach.
Here it comes. "Ah, where's dad?" Kim asked. She was counting on his support during this 'talk'.
"Oh, he's just parking the car," trying to look innocent. Anne could not mask her amusement. "He won't be long."
Ron leaned close to Kim. "What's up with your Mom?"
"I don't know."
"Here he is now."
Here Mr Possible was. He did not look happy as he strode briskly through the throng of travellers. With no regard for who might overhear he demanded, "Young lady, I want to know who Junior is right now!"
…
The crowd on the street moved aside to allow the Possible family station wagon access. They cheered and hooted and patted the vehicle; young people, parents and neighbours, others from around town. There was chanting. "Kim, Kim, Kim."
"What is going on?"
Anne Possible bounced on her seat. "Oh, you'll see."
"You'll see," the tweebs echoed.
"Yes, you'll see." James growlled. He regarded excitable Anne with an annoyed eye.
The crowd grew thicker as they approached the possible residence. Even with the help of wardens in official vests it was becoming difficult to open a space large enough to squeeze the family wagon through. It was also becoming apparent there was a stage of sorts positioned in the street. The crowd was gravitating toward it.
"What is this?"
"This is a circus!" Mr Oglivy complained over the fence when the Possibles pulled in. He referred to the soundstage and the gathering audience. The entire street had been drawn out of their homes by the unusual mid-afternoon commotion. More people were arriving from further afield every minute.
"At least they didn't show up at an ungodly time of the morning. Who was that you arrived home with late last time? Tiger Woods! We all know the stories. Now you arrive home with that young man in tow."
Anne's good cheer broke and she stood in to tell the old man off. "You know who Ron is Mr Oglivy and I don't like what you're insinuating about my daughter so you can go back to your rocking chair and keep your thoughts to yourself."
Mr Oglivy grimaced. Thoroughly put in his place. "I was just yanking your chain. Go enjoy your thug rocker punk. "
He referred to rock superstar, Meatloaf, who, armed with the information the guest of honour had arrived, strode out of his reserved trailer and approached the stage, his band in step behind him. The sixty-three year was not handsome in the manner you would expect from, say, a Hollywood movie star. He was your average man, chubby checks and beer belly. His tasselled black hair was greying. The crowd must have found something about him appealing because there was screaming like he was the latest sex symbol. The uproar continued even as Meatloaf approached the microphone to address those gathered and Kim in particular.
"Ladies and gentlemen. We gather here to celebrate a most extraordinary young lady. And, ask the people of Middleton, no matter where her adventures take her, Kim always has time for her community which she holds dear. Babysitting, lost animal friends, fundraising; a volunteer sunshine spreader! Preventing the scourge of a toxic spill on a horrific scale! Kim Possible has dedicated her life to helping those in need and we all think its time to give something back!"
Meatloaf's declaration was met with cheers of agreement. Kim Possible, Middleton's favourite daughter. While it would be unfair to say everyone present knew Kim, all knew of her unconquerable spirit and charitable heart. She was the buzz of the town.
"And her best friend, Ron Stoppable. Who is NOT Kim's boyfriend. My sponsor would like to recognise your great and oft under acknowledged role in Team Possible. And say sorry about the 'possession' thing."
The cheering died down considerably. Some respectful citizens nodded there heads in esteem but, honestly, they looked as befuddled as everyone else.
"Some friendly advice Ron," Meatloaf added, "make a move quick buddy. Here's rooting for ya!
Ron buried his head in arms crossed across his chest. Kim wanted to die. One anonymous member of the crowed yelled, "Yeah, John Stoppable and Kim Possible forever! Whoa!
A middle aged man, still dressed as if for the office, nudged his similarly dressed mate. "Ron Stoppable? Who is that?"
"Must be that hacker kid Doug says she has spy for her."
"Nah. That's not right," another commented, "she doesn't need a hacker. Her father's some super genius ain't he? Ron must be the janitor."
"If you've ever been in trouble perhaps you've visited the website? Kim Possible dot com? Heard her little jingle? "Call Me, Beep Me, if you want to reach me," anyone?"
Another round of cheering but Kim did not believe it was because anyone especially liked the jingle. Many had a good chuckle at over it, which grated Ron's nerves because the jingle had been his idea. No, Kim supposed a great deal of the joyous uproar was because Meatloaf swung his hips to the upbeat little tune. More of the gathered crowd was comprised of middle aged woman then Kim had first realised. Clearly Kim was not the sole attraction.
"So, from everyone here in Middleton, around the world and from Junior with love - thank you for making us believe anything is possible."
"Some days it don't come easy.
And some days it don't come hard.
Some days it don't come at all,
And these are the days that never end.
Some nights you're breathing fire,
And some nights you're carved in ice.
Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again.
"Maybe I'm crazy,
Oh it's crazy and it's true.
I know you can save me,
No one else can save me now but you.
"As long as the planets are turning,
As long as the stars are burning,
As long as your dreams are coming true,
You better believe it."
Of course it was Junior. Only that smooth talking, properly groomed perfectly tan and toned, self-absorbed psychopath would find this amusing. Indignation rising, Kim was sorely tempted to shun the gathered crowd. Just march into the house and….
Kim had Ron by the wrist in anticipation of leading him away when she realised Anne Possible was bouncing up and down and clapping her hands.
"MOM! Don't cheer for him! He was hired by a criminal mastermind! A complete psychopath!"
"And you have to understand this is Meatloaf!"
"Forget it Kim," James said between gritted teeth. "Meatloaf already promised your mother a duet to, 'All Coming Back to Me."
He crossed his arms in protest. "She's lost to the darkside."
"Don't give me that look, Mr Grumpy Guts. You liked Meatloaf in College."
"I liked him when you sang him. Alone in our apartment. And wearing your special nighty."
The hint of a smirk made broke the menace of his disapproving frown.
"Ugh!" Kim exasperated. Just which generation was Junior trying to impress? "That doesn't change the fact this entire concert is a sick attempt to gain my affection by gutter scum. The same creep had the nerve to profess his love for me while Ron - while holding Lord Fiske hostage!" she quickly corrected her speech. She purposefully did not turn around to view Ron's reaction least she give something away. Kim left her story there, permitting her angry pout reveal her feelings. Her blood boiled thinking retrospectively of the villains' audacity and she was loath to revisit the issue. She did not want to talk about it right now.
Anne understood. Anne laid her hands on her daughter's shoulders and used her best soothing tone to say, "Kim. These people didn't take time out in the middle to honour Junior. Meatloaf didn't fly here to honour Junior. And I am not standing here cheering for Junior. If we had know sooner we would have put a stop to," she waver her arm across the crowd, "all this. Frankly, I'm not going to be the one to tell everyone to go home because their hero has a personal issue with the sponsor. Suck it up and cheer for the home team no matter the score."
Kim looked imploringly to her father.
"I'm on your side Kimmie-cub. You know I want tie this creep to rocket for glancing twice at you but your mother may be right," he conceded. Anne mouthed, "might be?" It was credulous to think otherwise.
"It's your call. I can climb the stage and strangle Meatloaf to death with his microphone cord; and don't think I wouldn't the way he flirted with your mother. Or I can call the Loads, Joe; all your cheerleading friends and bring together everyone who loves you."
"That I would do anything for love,
And you know it's true and that's a fact.
I would do anything for love,
And there'll never be no turning back.
"But I'll never do it better than I do it with you,
So long, so long.
And I would do anything for love,
Oh I would do anything for love.
I would do anything for love.
But I won't do that.
No, no, no, I won't do that."
It sucks to have wise and thoughtful parents when all you want to be is angry or even a little depressed. Ron decided the issue by declaring, "You know, he ain't half bad. Maybe we could invite Felix too! And see Mrs Mahoney dancing along. She gave us a ride when Dr Drakken took over the Space Centre."
Kim sighed. "Option B."
"Welcome to superstardom." Anne added sternly, "And don't think I failed to notice you're nice, safe, field trip plastered all over the evening news. You are not off the hook, Kimberly Anne. You and I are going to have long talk about where these missions heading. A serious talk. Mother to daughter. Not a shouting match."
She added, softly and with love and a gentle hug, "After you've managed to throw off some of that weight around your shoulders and have been rediscovered a concept I like call to call fun. You'll be in no condition to hold your own against me until you do. Besides, I don't want to overshadow the joyous, wonderful surprise the Stoppables promised." She glanced at Ron over Kim's shoulder.
"Anything for love,
oh I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love,
but I won't do that.
No I won't. Do. That…."
"Junior?"
Anne was capable of particular delicious deviousness when the situation called for it. More so than her daughter realised. She had been plotting for eventualities such as these since the revelation her daughter was beginning to notice boys. And boys notice her.
"The time will come when we'll deal with Junior. He's chosen the wrong parents to mess with."
"Any boy who glances twice at my daughter is in deep trouble," James Possible promised. "Black hole deep."
…
Monique rushed up beside Kim and put her arms around her, her other arm clutching her text books to her chest.
"Good night?"
"Yeah," reluctantly admitted. "I guess. Considering who arranged…."
"Pay no mind to black leather Goth, head swollen from too much hair product, "my daddy owns an island," little boy," Monique advised. "We both know his daddy's money is going to buy your T.L.A. You got too much class."
"T.L.A?"
"Tender, loving affection," Monique snapped her fingers.
"Yeah, well…. Don't mention him to Bonnie; I think she'd fall in love."
Both cheerleaders were in an uproar over the suggestion. People in the hall looked over to see what was so funny.
"Girl, you are 2.M.4.M."
Kim remained blank.
"2 much 4 me," Monique tried again.
"Do you just make these up as you go along?"
"It's a bad habit I picked up in Grammar School. Too late to change now. Did you see Felix try to break dance in his wheelchair? Spinning on two wheels?"
"I saw Tara and Farley swoon over him when he crashed. Was Wade flirting with you?"
"No. He was angling for half my hotdog. I think he had a cooty fit when I offered a trade for a kiss."
Another round of carefree giggling before got Monique got serious.
"How's Ron? He seemed withdrawn last night - well, you both did - but you said he went through hell this mission."
"I'm glad he's recovered enough to tease me over the Junior sitch," Kim uttered mock sarcasm. They approached her locker and she voiced her concerns while retrieving her own texts books. "But I know he's still beating himself pretty hard for something wasn't even his fault. I don't know how to make him stop. I'm torn between being a sympathetic ear or shaking him hard screaming, "Don't do this to yourself Ron!"
Mon nodded, leaning against the some anonymous locker. "It doesn't help to be subtle with boys."
"It was good to have him under our roof last night. It was almost like an old time slumber party. I'll keep him close for the next few days until I can rebuild his confidence."
"Yeah, well. Don't smoother him is all."
"As if. I'm not totally lost when it comes to boys. I only been B.F.F.'s with one for twelve years."
Kim said goodbye and shuffled off to her next class. Precisely the moment a shadowing figure had been waiting for. He had wanted her alone before he sprung his ambush on the unsuspecting….
"Hey Monique!"
Mon tensed in surprise as Ron the boy wonder appeared from seemingly nowhere. Not a comfortable occurrence given he was the topic of recent conversation.
"Hey…! Ron. Where did you…?"
"I need to talk to you."
He looked desperate. Brown eye wide and imploring. Looking straight into her eyes. Monique glanced down the hall. Kim passed out of sight around a corner and, to Monique's infinite frustration, no one she knew or cared to talk to was due to walk by. She was trapped. "Wh – what about?"
Oblivious to her discomfort, Ron delved into his prepared speech, pacing and flapping his arms dramatically. "I don't know who else to turn to Monique. Kim said you look out for the squad when they have a problem. And you're advice always makes everything clear. Well…. I'm a squad member. And I have a problem."
Mon leaned further against the lockers so as not be an obstacle for his pacing. "Okay…."
"I don't think I'm cut out for the hero business."
"Are you sure I'm the one to talk to? Joe is the team mentor."
"I already did talk to Joe. Before the monkey temple I talked to Joe! I've been feeling this way for while now and every mission underlines my doubts. I'm not cut out for this. I never was. Kim may be Superwoman masquerading as a cheerleader but I'm just a normal teenage guy. I don't have her training. I'm not even in shape!"
"I'm going to get Kim killed," he admitted. He refused to look up after he said it. At least his pacing halted.
Monique gasped. "What makes you say that?"
Ron snorted. "Trust me. I just have this feeling." Still not looking up he settled against the lockers same of Monique. Keeping a respectable distance, the two of them were friendly. Not especially close.
"During the Drakken sitch Kim was in trouble. The toxin was everywhere. The building was on fire. Drakken had her cornered on top of a tower. He was going to kill her! I tried to get to her! Then Shego – knocked me out…."
His speech was solemn. He pointed to the back of his head.
"Anyway. Kim wanted adventures. Promised she would never go anywhere without me. Not even when Dr Directors offered Global Justice training - and they weren't about to let me in. I didn't even say yes, I just stayed silent. Team Possible had become her dream."
Translation: Ron was, at heart, a self-sacrificing Mr Nice Guy. Everyone knows where Mr Nice Guy finishes. Mon comprehended and sympathised for his position. She no longer looked to escape.
"Now it's harder to say no," she stated.
"Now it's easier!" Ron shrugged. "Now I know I'm endangering her."
"I don't know if you've noticed. Kim can handle danger. Kim can handle anything."
"Anything is Possible for a Possible," Ron recited the well worn family motto. "I'm not a Possible
"Hey!" Monique gently cupped his chin in her hands and encouraged him to look her in the eye. "You make her Possible. Missions or no missions, Kim needs you! Doubt everything else if you need to. Never doubt this."
It was her final word on the matter. To ensure it she chose to take her text books and go to class, leaving Ron to stew over her words.
…
"Grab some gloves and join in."
Kim and Ron were quite sure they did not want too. The stench in Joe's janitorial room was terrible and his atop his work bench, the bench covered with a tarp of course, a festering pile of garbage seemed the likely cause. Either side of Joe sat multiple garbage bags, sorted to opened or unopened as the case may be.
Kim her cheer uniform was ruined by mere exposure to the air. "Who's garbage is that?"
"Meatloaf's."
Kim did not have to say it. Her stance and features screamed, "why?"
"I interrogated each member of the band and support crew. None of them were involved in foul play."
Once again, why?
"So I hijacked their garbage."
"What do you expect to find?"
"Correspondence from Junior. Maybe? A hint to a location. Likely nothing. As I said, interrogation proved they were all clean."
"How can you be sure?" Ron asked.
"Because I am scary."
No one was doubted the point. Kim thought herself immune to the effects of his quiet, scratchy tone. The way it snakes into your mind and rubs like sandpaper. Or chalk against an old blackboard. Then he goes and proves otherwise by saying something to send a shiver down her spine.
She fumed, looking as if prepared to start a row. Ron was primarily interested in masking the smell. Searching Joe's stockpiles of cleaning products for air freshener. Just his luck, they were on the top shelf.
"You turn your noses up but this is real detective work. You want to work for Global Justice – scratch that. You want to take Junior down? Get you hands dirty."
"If Bonnie ever learns of this…," Kim muttered. Ron encouraged Rufus to snatch the air freshener for him. With her sensitive nose she needed no encouragement.
"If Bonnie ever learns of this she will not say a thing because you will have gone through her trash and learned how to blackmail her."
"You're sick. And no," Kim uttered defiantly. Arms crossed. Eyes zeroed in on the back of Joes head. He knew it too! He always knew.
"Well, you're sorting through someone's trash. Consider it a homework assignment. I want a written psychological report on your target based on correspondence, favourite foods, apparent likes and dislikes and interesting titbits. Bonus points for identification, bank and credit card details. Then I'll show you how to use this information fund operations behind enemy lines."
Rufus, perched atop a atop a broom stick reaching for the air freshener, momentarily forgot the smell.
("Cool!")
"Neat," Ron agreed, holding the stick,
"No!" Kim declared. "That's stealing!"
Ron auto-corrected. "I mean: No! That's stealing!" The pair earned a glower from Kim.
("Why does she glare at me too? She can't understand me.")
Joe groaned. Kim's sense of right and wrong could really irk the old spy. "From accounts I control. I'm not interested in another moral debate with you Possible. Suffice to say knowledge of how to steal is not stealing. Neither is borrowing, commandeering, appropriation or seizure. Example: when I had Monty Fiske's garbage seized…."
…
"Junior was kind enough," Kim spoke with disdain, "to give us directions to the exit. The ninja boy delivered you're typical villainous ultimatum."
"I am Warhawk," she imitated the ninja's deep vocal cords.
"Cut the sound effects, Possible. Continue."
She complied with Joe's order. "I am Warhawk, something about being the, "Lord Monkey's Fist," and warning he was going to kill us if we meet again."
Joe, who hadn't halted his screening of Meatloaf's garbage, remained thoughtfully silent. Kim did not enjoy being ignored or debriefing the back of someone's head. Yet Joe was a lost cause in the realm of social niceties. Joe spoke when Joe spoke usually only to criticise.
Finally he remarked, "Thank you Kim. I realise these events were not easy to relate." He did not sound entirely sincere using his monotone formal tone. Which was in no way different to his monotone informal tone.
"Ron…," Joe hesitated. "Would you like to add to or amend Kim's report?"
"I wasn't conscious," Ron reminded him. "Or if I was I was crying."
"Ron was crying. Add that to the report," Joe glanced at Wade on the T.V. monitor. The boy was caught off guard by the request. He looked to Kim for a cue.
"See Ron. You're candour has already revealed one detail Kim omitted. Probably she forgot."
Her gritted teeth suggested she probably hadn't. She didn't bother mask her disgust even as Joe finally turned around and removed his gloves.
"I expect you equally as frank in your depiction of events. Information is a weapon. We have no information on Yono. While you have had more contact with Yono than anyone. In seven centuries," he added. Washing his hands in the sink he silently waved Ron to continue. The boy, reluctantly, did so.
"Most of the time I couldn't tell what was going on or who was in control. He would have introduce a pressing idea or thought into my head and allow me to run with it. Playing on my fears. Digging up bad memories. He really got a kick out of it."
"He derived pleasure from anguish?"
"No. He was…," Ron searched for a comparison. "Bugs Bunny. He was an evil Looney Tune."
"He definitely thought he was funny," Kim agreed. "He expressed interest in Vegas and was fascinated sweets. First thing he did was delve into Ron's stash of lollipops."
Ron frowned. "I don't have a stash of lollipops."
It wounded him none of his team members believed him. He could see it in their disbelieving frowns. Kim, Wade; even Rufus. Joe raised an eyebrow while drying his hands on a rag. Monty did that when he tried to sneak a deep fryer on the expedition. The look never boded well.
"Seriously. Gummy bears maybe, but I don't know where you're getting…."
"Are lollipops significant to either of you?" Joe asked.
"They taste like paper stick when you get near the end."
Joe refocused his attention on Kim. Blocking Ron out. After a minute she voiced, "Uncle Drew used to buy us lollipops…."
Joe clicked his fingers in anger. "It was a joke. He knows you're history," he declared. Banging knuckles on his bench he asked. "Were the lollipops in Ron's pyjamas or the change of clothes you brought down?"
Kim couldn't answer. She had no idea.
"None of this was an accident. Yono arranged for you to be there." Despite the seriousness of the revelation, Joe's frown became a proud smirk. "Good work Ron. You've told me more about Yono than multiple archaeological contacts and internet searches."
For the record," he continued, "Being taken by the Yono was not a failure on your part. You had no defence. Few men could even experience what you have and remain sane."
"Monty did. For thirteen days."
"Don't be so sure." Joe did not elaborate.
"The Senior criminal network, rogue ninja, a crazed archaeologist, possessed idols; whatever this is, it has become a matter for Global Justice Initiative. Wade and I will keep track of events but I don't want Team Possible fielding this one. Report back here Friday for updates and your next assignment. Till then the two of you will relax and recuperate. No brooding on Junior or possessed Monkey Idols. Consider it an order. And don't try to weasel details out of Wade because I ordered him not to talk anything mission related unless we have an emergency."
Wade signed off and Kim and Ron moved toward the exit of this garbage smelling closet.
"Kim," Joe called after her. "Let us know how that chat with you're Mom goes."
Free at last, each teen took several deep breaths of fresh air.
"It'll take ten washes remove the smell from my sweeter," Kim complained.
"Ask Joe what he uses. His overalls always have a lavender scent." Ron pointed over his shoulder. "I parked behind the gym. Do you…?"
"Sure. I'll wait out front. Then we'll go see this surprise your Mom promised."
…
Ron stored his blue moped in the garage and hit the door close button. Waiting for him Kim said, "This is great. Junior embarrasses us and we get thrown off the case."
Ron sighed. "That's not the reason Joe took us off the case."
"He's going to think he's the reason," Kim clarified. "His warped hair-gelatinous brain is going to somehow interpret it with me being hot for him. Oh Junior, you're so menacing and indomitable. I'm intimidated yet I find you oddly appealing."
"I couldn't imagine you with a bad boy."
"Until a day ago you couldn't imagine me with anyone," Kim remarked. It irked her. Ron did not notice.
"I know what you're capable of. Mad kung-fu skills. But Yono is beyond weird. In fact, I have comments and concerns on - everything. Team Possible."
"Would you like the number of our complaints department?"
Ron rolled his eyes. He opened the door to his house and trudged up the stairwell with Kim right behind him.
"Look. We both know I'm not cut out for this."
"I told you, don't be so hard on yourself. You have every right to be – a little anxious. Yono…."
Ron huffed. "I'm not even talking about Yono."
Kim blinked. He wasn't? She waited to hear what he was talking of.
"I mean. This is crazy! I have no training. I don't belong on Team Possible."
"You're a valued member of the team," Kim assured him. Sincere from her hair tips to her toenails. "Even Joe thinks so. We just have to work on that potential."
"Great. Ron Stoppable is Potential Boy. Ron Stoppable as himself, George Clooney as Dr Drakken, Liv Tyler as Shego, Arnold Schwarzenegger as Professor Dementor; coming to a theatre near you."
The door to his room was ajar so he just kicked it open and stepped in. Kim followed - and halted mid-stride. Mystified and concerned by changes wrought.
Ron continued. "In all seriousness. I won't pretend the idea you're Mom grounding these missions upsets me. I might even be glad. Kim, I've never wanted – ouff!"
Ron threw his backpack in the corner as usual and threw himself on his bed. Rather than the comforting embrace of a mattress he back-flopped onto a hardwood floor. Ron Stoppable realised he was lying flat on the floor. His bed, among other things, was gone. His speech abruptly cut off and forgotten.
"Ow-hw-hw-ow!" he moaned.
"Why is you're room pink?" Kim asked, referring to the new wallpaper.
Ron squinted. "Did I always have fluffy clouds and unicorns painted on my ceiling?"
"Do you think Junior did this?"
("Every time!")
Rufus was always cranky when rudely awoken.
("Every time Johnny Deep and Robert Pattinson are feeding me chocolates in my dreams - You! - trip or fall into or walk into something. Where are we?")
Ron sat up and looked around; pink wallpaper, a bassinet, pram, new draws chest and dressing table, tiny articles of clothing and numerous toys (soft toys, not his action figures). This was not his room. "Are we in the right house? Wait, did we take a left or a right at the stop sign?"
"Hi Kim," Mr Stoppable greeted the teen as he slid past her into the room. "Ronald! You're home!"
Being diminutive in stature made Stoppable's not slight shoulders and biceps appear beefier. He took Ron's hand and pulled him off the ground. Then he embraced his son in a loving hug. "I'm sorry son; I hoped to catch you at the door. We were working in the attic. So much to prepare."
The emotion in his voice. He wiped foggy glasses lens with his finger.
"Okay…. You're feeling sensitive today. You can let go…," Mr Stoppable made no attempt to do so. "Or we can keep hugging. Just another father-son moment in the Stoppable household," Ron looked to Kim. "We have to cherish these moments. Not every day you come home… stuff is gone… pink."
"Dad. Why is my room pink? Where is my stuff?"
Mr Stoppable smiled up his son. "We had to move it to make room for the new addition to our family."
Ron did not comprehend. However, his father was not required to expand upon his cryptic statement. Mrs Stoppable followed her husband into the room carefully cradling a precious bundle of joy in her arms. Wrapped in soft yellow cloth.
As proud as Ron had ever seen him, Mr Stoppable moved to stand over his wife and baby girl.
"Ronald," Mrs Stoppable said softly. "Come over here son. I want you meet your baby sister."