Author's Note: I know how long it has been. My PC went kaput. I don't want to talk about it.
Shout out to Slipgate for awesome feedback on this, my first major piece in six months. He saved me quite some embarrassment.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible™ or any character, location or event associated with that said show.
Last time on Legend of a Monkey Master
Yori escaped the Yamanouchi School with a very special package.
- Junior continued to worm his way into Kim's life.
- Ron continues to feel insecure about his place on the team. Desperate, he sought advice Monique.
- Team Possible arrived home to a new arrival.
...
Ch 8. Little Monkey
Ron Stoppable was no stranger to weird. Ron was considered to be weird by many classmates, family members, acquaintances, and the artist kid who filmed a plastic bag blowing in the wind because it was beautiful. Josh Mankey (Monkey). Ron's life in recent times had taken a turn for the surreal. Whether it be practicing routines with the stunning ladies of the Middleton High Cheer Squad or being tutored in espionage techniques by the school janitor. Going undercover as a child of wealth to catch a conman or being possessed by a malicious, mischievous monkey spirit. Ron could safely claim he was no longer leading the life of an ordinary teenager. Not when hanging out with his plucky heroine and best friend, who was certainly no ordinary teenager, Kim Possible.
Ron on the other hand... Ron had never considered himself a conformist to the ideals of high school or society but his life had been, not so long ago, normal. He had, in every way that counts, been normal. To state plainly Ron Stoppable was not pleased with the odd turn toward weird in his life would be accurate. Yet stating it so plainly did not begin to clarify his feelings. Nor his fears. The range of thoughts and doubts which turned over in a mind more comfortably occupied contemplating Plants vs. Zombies. Ron Stoppable had his reasonable doubts. About his qualifications to be a...? A hero? And how he came to be on the world stage bumbling into villains and psychos and save the world scenarios. Where typically Ron was saved by the cheerleader. Who then saved the world. Along the road to thwarting devastation being the root cause of as much mayhem again as tasked to prevent.
You cannot claim to have ever met a young man, seventeen years into his life, faced with mayhem and weird, with a more cheerful demeanour. The brave face he puts on for those he cares for; and his humility, my word. Any impartial observer could report he had met the weird in his life with good grace. Incredibly good grace. Illogically good grace, as though events in his life were so momentous he remained in a state of denial.
It was only a matter of time before grace fell away.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Not the exclamation the Stoppable parents were looking when introducing their newly adopted daughter to their firstborn son. Although, likely one they deserved. Rufus abandoned ship, moving to Kim.
("Oh darn, I don't think he's going to take this well.")
"We are telling you. Look. This is us telling you."
Mr Stoppable used his index finger to illustrate an imaginary triangle formed between Ronald, his wife and daughter, and his own self. Immature under the circumstance. Those who knew him best could recognise his suppressed lopsided grin of mischief. What did he care? He was the new father of most beautiful little girl in the world! He thought this hilarious.
Mother Stoppable not so. She nudged her man to stop being such a - man - and took the lead in explaining.
"We didn't expect you home so early, Ronald. I admit this isn't how we planned to tell you."
Ron derailed conversation and turned it in a different direction. He needed to talk about something else. Right now, right this second he could not wrap his head around nor deal with a welcome home surprise baby sister minus the customary nine months warning! Besides which, being honest with the deepest, blackest reaches of his soul he knew every moment he refused to acknowledge his parents new love was a moment of pain. Spite directed him to demand, "Where is my stuff?"
Kim's well-meaning protest for Ron to, "Amp down," was brushed off. The Stoppable son had no time for Possible in this discussion. She stood apart and invisible.
Mr Stoppable fielded his question. Straight up, as was his way. "We moved all of your gear to the attic. We were planning to use some of our savings to fix it up real good for your return. We didn't expect you back so soon."
Mischievous grin inverted to a misgiving one. "Sorry." Revealing everything Ron required as to the state of his new accommodation.
"Please Ronald. Your things we can sort out given time," his mother assured him. "Perhaps it would be better if you kept this room for now. Until the renovation is complete. Hana will stay with us. Please, will you come over here and say hello to your sister?"
The sweet voice of a mother. Half her syllables made of reason and half compassion. Precisely attuned to give the son a sense of being understood as though how he felt inside was a secret whispered between only the two of them. Capable of forcing desired action via moderating anger and inducing guilt upon the unruly child.
Being the good and loving son Ron would cave to what his mother asks as surely as if Kim were pouting her lip and forcing her eyes to water, employing devious witchcraft of evil mind bending magic's, a.k.a. the puppy dog pout, to achieve her desires.
This time however, this time – maybe it was the stress of his adventures catching up on him. Maybe a pink room had crushed his last nerve and he was finally determined to stand against a world mocking him. A flicker of defiance continued to burn. His feet remained planted as he continued to contemplate his options. An awkward standoff grew.
Kim forced resolution and saved Ron from his own stubbornness. She walked up behind him and took his hand, leading him gently toward the bundle in his mother's arms. He would not resist her tug.
Mrs Stoppable adjusted to the yellow cloth to better reveal the little girls face. She was bigger – older than Ron had presumed by how gently she slept in his mother's arms. Raven hair, tanned skin and almond eyes; unmistakably oriental beyond which the land of her parents and forefathers would remain a mystery to him. Unless his parents had asked. Possibly they had not; his family were likely to consider the little girl born Hebrew. It had not entirely escaped his notice the tendency toward blond hair and blue eyes in his bloodline. Or Cousin Shawn, red hair, piercing green eyes; could physically pass as Kim's brother if not by demeanour (EViL). Bucked one stereotype, why did the one about (under)dog mascot dating a cheerleader continue to thwart him?
Kim leaned in and began to whisper senseless baby talk. Multiple black belt dangerous, scourge of mad villainy, hard enough to hammer nails with her forehead and Kim melted whenever something cute crossed her path. Like butter.
The child must have sensed attention. She opened her eyes and appeared highly alert. As soundly as she dozed a light breath previous she was now alert and aware of those around her with no in between state. Ron almost considered the idea she faked the nap and while Kim continued to lavish her with attention the little girls mesmerising eyes caught Ron's and held them.
"What did you call her?"
"Hana." She repeated the two syllables so there might be no mistake, 'Ha – na.'" Mrs Stoppable shifted the weight of the child in her arms so she might free a hand and rub her son's forearm. Make him feel included in this family if fears along those lines were bothering him.
"Hello Hana."
Simple words. He could not think of what more to say. But he meant them. No, he had not suddenly forgotten his annoyance over being kept in the dark over a baby sister or his room being all pinkified but as he heard his own words he knew he meant them. He MEANT them.
"Did you choose the name?" Kim asked.
"We don't know the story but it was her birthparents legacy to her. We didn't want to change it."
Comparison to Kim's bubbly and playful abundance of affection left the unusually stoic Ron mistaken as frosty. Ice cold. Given how he'd been ambushed his parents were willing to take whatever affection he could manage and hope he could warm to Hana given time. Kim was less forgiving, subtly, or not so subtly urging him to say more or hold the child. Ron refused. He did not want to hold Hana right now. Ron had a hunch though, as she closed her eyes again and dug out a comfortable niche against her mother's arms and chest, Hana understood.
Standing back from the group, Rufus lamented, ("Ah, this is worse than a puppy! How can I compete with that? She'll even look cuter naked.")
("Well, I'm chop liver. I better start planning for a future as the second favourite pet. Starting with their unguarded fridge...")
No one noticed Rufus exit heading for the downstairs kitchen.
...
Stair hoping to the ground floor, Rufus envisioned treats of fruit smoothies and a banana split sundae with extra berries and nut sprinklings. Salad smothered in a creamy cheese sauce. These delicious daydreams were put on hold, not ended, overhearing the Stoppable's gate close and sighting a young woman enter the property via windows installed either side of the door as a feature. Ron's age if Rufus was any judge of these humans. Clothing was the key indicator, her yellow club banana blouse sporting the fashionable store's monkey mascot paired with a cream, tasteful short skirt. Carrying a trio of what looked like heavy boxes stacked one on top of the other with a few more books on top of that. She managed the top heavy load with posture and grace even Kim could be envious of. Knocking firmly on the family door with her right. Balancing the load with her left.
Curiosity stayed Rufus, not to say she felt particular interest. More a desire to be nosey. She remained on the stairway waiting for one of the Stoppable's to answer with a view to learning this young woman's intentions. She could not place the girl from Ron's class or the mall or the Synagogue although Rufus did miss meeting a lot of folk sleeping customarily twenty hours a day. For all she knew this young woman could be a door to door saleswoman or a second cousin and everything in between.
"Oh, there's the door," Mrs Stoppable commented. "Can one of you get that?" she looked between Ron and her husband.
Kim grabbed Ron, "Well get it," and led him out of the room.
"Could you try and be a little more positive?"
"I'm happy, alright?"
"You're not acting like it."
"If you came home to tweeblets would you be overjoyed?"
"Don't even compare them. The tweebs aren't human children. They're offspring of an alien species of annoying. Drakken's faulty lab experiments escaped. You have a little angel up there."
"I have a pink room up there."
"Grow up."
"Wait, no! I don't just come home and my stuff is moved and I have a sister and everything is okay! It's not okay! It's not bad but it's not okay - hi there, how can we help you...?"
Kim forestalled Ron's argument by opening the door to their guest. Ron's view of their visitor was eclipsed by the boxes which were dumped in his arms at the suggestion of help.
"Domo," the girl thanked him.
"Hey, what - whoa…."
Ron's grip on the top-heavy load was tenuous. The pile swayed one way and another. Ron stepped to and fro in an attempt to balance the pile yet achieved the opposite. The lean became more dangerously pronounced. A sinking feeling came over him as the lean became just too much and then….
Kim's intervention saved him from a quick burial. She retrieved the top pair of boxes, preventing and an avalanche of their contents.
Grateful, Ron replied, "Thanks Kim," before backing into the stairwell behind him and losing his battle with gravity. A box load of children's plush toys, flash cards and a literature collection consisting of six rhyming words per page with helpful coloured illustrations buried him alive.
Kim had her hands full but the young woman at the door came forward ahead of Kim to offer hers.
"My sincere apologies Mr Stoppable-san. You are alright?" Her broken English was troubled further by her embarrassment. Burying a man alive was not good first introductions. She spoke as if searching for each individual word.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Once Ron was back on his feet she inclined her head respectfully to demonstrate her remorseful feelings. He was not entirely sure of the polite way to respond. "So, ah, what brings you here, ah…?"
"Yori! Hi!"
His parents had been drawn by the commotion. Worries were forgotten seeing Yori, they lit up. Excited all over again as when Ron had arrived, they came down the stairs to greet her.
"Miss – Yori. Right."
"Yori Toyama." Yori was taller than he. Raven hair, olive tan – you know what, she could be Hana's sister or future self. This week he wouldn't doubt it. He still could not pick her nation of origin. She bowed again in greeting so clearly somewhere cultured. Once again Ron was not clear on how to respond. He'd been in the act of giving his hand out to shake, instead raised it and gave a nervous wave. Silently hoping the fluidity of the motion prevented him from looking like an idiot. Or more of one. "Hi. I'm Ron. Ron Stoppable."
"And I'm Kim Possible." Kim had put the two boxes down and inclined her head respectfully to Yori as Ron had seen her do when engaged in martial arts competitions.
"Kim Possible-san," Yori acknowledged her with a tight responding bow. Head bowing, Ron was going to have to get used to the head bowing. Yori turned her attention back to Ron, his parents coming down the stairs to stand beside him. "Ron Stoppable-san. Of your exploits I have heard many. A hero to my family and my people you are. It is my honour to stand before you now."
"Okay. Yeah. My exploits." Ron spoke to Yori but looked to Kim. His friend had no answers. She was equally off balance from Yori's sudden high praise for Ron. She shrugged and rolled her wrist as if to say, "roll with it."
"Our exploits. Kim and me. More Kim than me. Kim is the real hero." He saw Kim, behind Yori, throw her head back in a silent, exaggerated, "Ugh!"
"We're a team. It's a team effort."
Better, Kim nodded approval.
"And Possible-san, of course. Your modesty is admirable Stoppable-san." Hold the phone. The idea she was being passed over began to formulate in Kim's mind. The way Yori only had eyes for Ron. Ron could see it in her contemplative frown. She approved of praise for Ron, was overjoyed for it. Nevertheless Kim was beginning to feel the chill of a cold shoulder. Ron saw it was difficult for her to recognise. Neither could recall her being treated like a third wheel. "But your mother and your father have already recounted the tales of your adventures, to which I have passed on to my own family…."
Kim and Ron's gaze drifted toward the Stoppables as Yori spoke.
Mrs Stoppable elected to end a potentially awkward situation. "Oh, Yori you brought Hana some toys!" Mr Stoppable bent to repack those which had fallen over the steps. Yori and Ron instinctively helped.
"Yes Mrs Stoppable-san," Yori said. "Learning materials also."
"Ron, Yori just moved in next door. She's a student from Japan. She's going to be helping us with some babysitting."
"Babysitting?" Kim picked up on the term like a wolf on fresh scent of an intruder and acted accordingly. To defend her territory. "Mrs Stoppable, you know I'd be happy to watch Hana for you. I mean, you know me to be responsible. I have the experience. I even have the babysitting service website."
"Oh?" Mr Stoppable queried, "I thought your website was for private detective jobs. Thefts and disappearances."
"Yes. Sometimes. But mostly it's for babysitting jobs. Or home economics activities, Ron and I have been known to take care of pets or gardens or offer help catering to a wedding. At Kim Possible dot com, "I can do anything."
"We didn't mean to put you out Kim. We thought of you and Ron first. You and just seem busy every weekend solving mysteries and arresting criminals."
Mrs Stoppable added to her husband's apology, "What we really need is a babysitter who's dependable."
Ouch. Behind the gathered humans, Rufus could feel the burn. Doubly so as Yori bowed appreciation. The girl felt genuine joy at being thought of favourably by the Stoppables. Kim was all smiles now. Her closest confidant, Ron, was sure to hear otherwise later.
"Yori can also watch Hana during the week days while we're at work."
"I thought you were a student?" Kim pounched on the intruder.
"Upperton College. I study by correspondence."
"You're a college student?" It was almost an accusation.
"It was closest equivalent to Japanese high school."
…
Kim remained long enough not to appear 'disappointed' with the Stoppables decision in regards to the babysitting sitch. Twenty terse minutes flicking questions at Yori like pebbles. To which 'the intruder' flicked them back with innocent answers and jarring formal politeness. Twenty minutes before Kim excused herself with the phoney excuse of catch up homework and retreated with her tail between her legs. Her territory taken by another wolf. Once home she allowed herself to crash onto her bed and pillows framed by numerous cuddle toys. Spun onto her back and pulled out her Kimmunicator.
"Wade, when was the last time had a hit for a babysitting job?"
"As in a V.I.P?"
"Nevermind. Wade, could you be a dear and use your super hacker skills to find out everything you can on Yori Toyama."
"Who is that?"
"The Stoppable's new babysitter."
"They got a babysitter for Ron?"
"For his little sister."
"Ron has a little sister?"
"Yes. Hana Stoppable. She's in her second year. Did your extensive research into Ron's family life not pick that up, Wade Stoppable?" Kim referred to his attempt to evade child services by hacking his way into an unsuspecting family. Before Wade had been discovered by Kim and adopted by the Load family.
"No. Seriously. Who are Yori Toyama and Hana Stoppable?"
"Ron's little sister and her babysitter. Try to stay current Wade."
Fun as it might be to torture Wade with information she knew which he did not know, Kim had business on her mind. She gave him a rundown of welcome home events at the Stoppable house. A testing exercise when Wade dropped queries every 4.07 seconds. "You're suspicious of Yori because she took your babysitting job."
"I'm suspicious of Yori because every new acquaintance I've met lately is secretly an evil ninja or an evil suitor."
"You think Yori could be an evil suitor?"
"Maybe for Ron. She did seem somewhat infatuated with him. This is also a trait our villains have had recently."
"You think Junior's trying to make Ron jealous?"
"Ron can have him. Stop asking questions."
"One more. You want me to run Hana too? She could be a secret ninja infiltrator too."
"No," Kim rethought this. "Wait…."
"Seriously?"
"Forget the secret ninja baby thing. One day Hana could ask questions about where she came from. As an orphan you must understand."
"So you want me to look into it?"
"I'm not sure we have the right. I'd have to take it up with Ron and his parents. We could never know anything you uncover unless Hana asks. Unless she is a secret ninja baby infiltrator in which case tell us."
"Next house on fire. We received an odd hit on the site today."
"Odder than this week."
"Maybe par."
Wade brought up the video message. One of her clients from an on-going investigation. Eleven year old Hafeza Kalidas, known to her school friends as Hilma in her adopted Netherlands. Her father faced prison and her family pending deportation to Morocco thanks to the dealings of her father's employer. Upstanding, influential and legitimate property lawyer, Hank Perkins. A.k.a a consultant for villains and a ruthless conman who had no qualms setting up an innocent man to take the fall.
A previous sting attempt two weekends ago failed when Ron, playing the role of a naive child of wealth looking to invest with Perkins, split hot coffee on his wire. Causing electrical burns and Perkins to walk away untouched from the sting. This was the day before the Senior Island sitch. Wade was still investigating a way to block the deportation of Hafeza's family. Perhaps starting with fundraising for a great lawyer.
"Kim Possible, thank you! You did it! Mr Perkins has come forward in support of my father. He has new evidence implicating the real bad men in his company. With his help they were caught red handed talking to criminals and taking their money. Mr Perkins even offered my Daddy a big promotion."
"Wade. Can we check this out?"
"Already have, Kim. Try to stay current." As amusing as it was to irritate Kim, Wade had business on his mind. "Listen to this. Earlier today Mr Hank Perkins of the prominent law firm Perkins, Wheeler & Company has released a statement apologising to Mr Rizwan Kalidas for incorrect accusations on his part and has come forward with evidence condemning the actions of many of his closest friends and senior partners including Mr Vincent Wheeler… Suspicion continues to hang over Mr Perkins knowledge of these activities however he is said to be fully co-operating with the authorities. Kim, he's going to walk away clean."
"He sold out his friends to save himself," Kim surmised. She thought of Ron, Wade and Monique and realised Perkins disgusted her to the highest degree.
"Yes. But from who? Our investigation was floundering and Perkins goes ahead and cripple's his own operation? Puts himself under scrutiny from now on? I didn't understand until I reviewed this joint press conference between Hank and the Kalidas family."
Hilma re-appeared on the view screen with another recorded message. This one for the public. Hank Perkins stood in the foreground at a lectern, charming a mob of reporters. Hank, however, was not the sole media darling on stage. Hefeza stood proud beside her Daddy, low level legal clerk now partner of Perkins, Wheeler & Co. Holding hand with her Daddy in a show of support.
"Hafeza. What do you think of the charges against your Daddy having been dropped and his being made partner of a major law firm?"
The press conference was in Dutch. Capable of anything, Kim had spent time under Joe's guidance learning languages of the old world. A smattering of European and Asian. Dutch was not yet one of these languages so she relied on the news report interpreter.
Perkins knelt down and, with a pleasant smile, handed the mike to little Hefeza.
"Thank you for saving my Daddy, Kim Possible. Thank you Junior."
"That was Hafeza Kalidas thanking Kim Possible and her investigative partner Junior Senior for saving…."
Kim switched off her Kimmunicator, cutting off both reporter's statement and Wade.
"JUNIOR YOU GIGANTIC SON OF A - A - STUPID DORK! AHHHH!"
Many innocent Cuddle Buddies were flung across the room.
…
"Open up, here comes the racing car. Brrum, brumm."
It was an age old game which captivated every new generation. Really, Hana was a good eater and mashed vegetables were among her favourites. The aeroplane and the racing car and the speed boat were for fun. A giggle between the Stoppable ladies.
"Brrum, brum, yum, yum. Good for Hana."
Hana enjoyed the next mouthful and declared, "All done."
Observing the spectacle for pointers, Ron was taken aback by Hana's words. "She talks? How did you get her to talk?"
"Yes, Hana talks. She talks all the time. She talks about everything and anything. She's a clever little boo, aren't you? Who's a clever boo? Who little boo boo," and Mrs Stoppable tried to sneak in a little more mashed veges but Hana would have none of it.
Yes, Hana did talk. Although her ability to ability to communicate was limited to a few key phrases picked up in the interest of getting what she wanted. The rest was incomprehensible gobbledygook. There was intent behind her words. Something akin to a sentence. Like Nirvana.
"All done," was one of those learned phrases. "All done."
"Alright," her mother conceded, "have a drink." Ron passed the warm milk in a plastic sip cup he had prepared at Mrs Stoppable's direction. Hana did not drink. She spouted lines of incomprehensible gobbledygook and the demand, "Up!"
From her outstretched arms Ron took her meaning to be, "let me out of this high chair." Hana was now struggling against the restraints.
"Go ahead. Pick her up."
Mrs Stoppable watched with anticipation as Ron helped his sister out of the restraint belts and lifted her into her arms. His first time holding his baby sister, it probably would not register to him as special. It was to their mother. Uncertain Ron still was about the art of properly holding a baby. He wanted his hold to be secure, sitting her on the bend of his elbow and holding her close with the arm. Wishing she was not such a squirmier who had to reach for anything within a metre radius of his person.
"What's this?"
"Do you mean the jars or the counter in general?"
"What's this?"
"That is my favourite hickey jersey. Now with bonus grubby finger marks."
"What's this?"
"Not the face!" He unsuccessfully tried to arch his neck away from her vege and slobber flavoured fingers. Mother Stoppable gave Ron's cheek a wipe while doing the same with Hana's hands and face.
"How do I talk to babies, mom?"
"Just speak normally. Like you would anyone else."
"When you talk to Hana, how exactly do you imagine you sound?"
"Changing time." Ron was passed a fresh nappy.
"I have to change her!"
"This is my way of teaching you," Mrs Stoppable said.
…
"Sick and wrong." Ron held the soiled nappy at arm's length, wincing.
"I'll take that." Not unfamiliar with the sentiment and sympathetic, Mr Stoppable took the offending, foul smelling nappy for disposal.
"Brother."
"Oh hey, she does learn quick!"
"I think she was pointing to the TV, honey."
"Go, go, go, go
Go, go, go shawty
It's your birthday
We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a ####
It's not your birthday!"
"Oh."
Ron's Mom switched off the screen and 50 Cent. "Sorry. I try to distract Hana with music or toys when changing. Otherwise she gets restless and starts to wiggle around."
Correct she was. Without MTV's influence the younger generation didn't know what to do. Hana began to squirm and roll and escape the changing mat. Making it very difficult for Ron to gently wipe her and apply a fresh diaper. Silly faces from Mom were no help.
Hoping his next thought was inspired genius, it worked on hardened criminals of the same I.Q., Ron removed Rufus from his pocket and held her out. "Look, Hana. Naked Mole Rat."
The promise of something new and interesting did catch Hana's attention.
"Rufus. Distraction."
"(What exactly?)"
Ron shrugged. "Do that little number you've been working on."
"(As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
I take a look of my life, and realise there's nothing left.
'Cuz I've been brassin' and laughing so long that.
Even my mama thinks that my mind is gone.
But I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it.
Me be treated like a punk, you now that's unheard of.
You'd better watch how you're talking and were you walking .
Or you and your homie mith be lined in chalk.
I really hate to trip but I gotta lope.
As they croak I see myself in the pistol smoke, FOOL.
I'm the kind of g that little homies wanna be….)"
"The other song number you've been working on," Ron advised, cutting in to Rufus's rhymes.
Mrs Stoppable winced. The little rat's voice was worse than scratching on a chalk board. "That was supposed to be a song?" She would have ordered the experiment ended but for some reason Rufus held Hana's apt attention.
"(Yo', listen up, have a howler from Rufus.
Pay attention to my rhymes ya' wanna' know what the truth is.
Naked Mole Rap' is the name of my song.
Strange going ons in the pocket of Ron.
Never heard a cat bark,
Never heard a puppy purr,
Ron's Dad's allergic to every kind of fur.
So he surfed for hairless pets on the internet,
Saw a jpeg of a pink thang...
Yin to Ronness yang!
What is that? That freaky thing?
Yes, that's right. I'm a naked mole rat.
Come on y'all, let the girlies sing!
Listen to the naked mole rat!
What is that? That freaky thing…?)"
"Moo Raat!"
Finishing with the grip tabs on Hana's diaper, Ron did not immediately cotton to what Hana had said, or had been attempting to say. When he did he was amazed. "That's it, Hana! Mole Rat! You got it!"
"Moo Raat!"
"You are a quick learner!" It was her first conscious meeting of Rufus. A bright cookie the Stoppables had in their hands. He was always going to be proud of Hana but having a Stoppable enter college off her own merits (and not by a favour owed by a hacker friend) was worth a special notice. "Figured out who I am yet? Who am I, Hana?"
"Who is this," Mrs Stoppable pointed at her son.
"Ee-moto." Only baby gibberish. His Mom gave Ron an apologetic smile and put her arm around his shoulder.
"Thanks for changing her at least. You are a good big brother."
"That's alright Hana. I'm sure you'll learn who I am in time."
Mr Stoppable returned from nappy disposal complaining, "Who stepped on the mole rat? You could hear him from the garage."
…
Bright and early Kim Possible arrived at the Stoppable's door. Another teen had risen himself from the comfort of bed that morning. Kim was amazed when the door was answered by…
"Ron? You're up early?"
"Didn't you see yesterday? Mom bought home this new alarm clock. It goes off whenever it wants attention."
As a babysitter by trade, STILL a babysitter by trade, Kim understood. He would have to find sympathy squeezing another rock though. Truthfully, and apart from the intruder, Yori, Kim was enjoying this unexpected development. The universe had Ron on a bulls-eye, targeted for responsibility for a long time coming. If seventeen years of lax activities and complacency left him somewhat underprepared he only himself to blame.
If Hana kept him too busy to reflect negatively on his recent ordeal with the Yono, so much the better. Hana could be the lever Kim needed to restore Ron's confidence.
"How was your first official night as a big brother?" Kim was practically singing.
"I've seen and done things Kim. Very smelly things. Things I don't want to talk about."
Self-depreciating humour. A Ron staple. It belied how difficult it was to bring him down. She may soon win back her partner in adventure. All she need do was her channel his energies in this positive new direction.
Unfortunate to break up brother and sister this morning. "No issue here. Come on. I did want to play with Hana while I waited on you but since you're up I want to talk to Joe before class."
"School? Early? It would be a crime against the universe to tarnish the essential Ron-shine thus."
He felt no better on this foreign concept of arriving at Middleton High on time. Ron could concede the need to talk to Joe immediately after Kim informed him of Junior's latest stunt.
"Kim Possible's partner? I'm her partner! Yeah, I can take never having a headline reading. Ron Stoppable saves the – spinx..."
"(Sphinx)," Rufus corrected. Half-heartedly. Toying with a loose washer on Joe's work bench. "(Yeah, like Rufus will get a headline. Don't even get my own uniform)."
"They're mistaking me for the bad guy! The bad guy, Kim!"
"Two birds, one stone," Joe mused. "With Perkins out of business the villains in the low lands will have to turn to Senior for their banking and investment opportunities. All the while securing an I.O.U. from Junior's crush, Kim Possible."
Ron shock his head. "Remind me again why I signed up for the band?"
"(I'm in it for the cheese. Also, I had nothing better going.)"
"Not everyone in this room has had their name in the headlines, kid. Back in the eighties when you were as deep as I was, kid. Deep in the…."
Joe caught himself. All members of Team Possible; Ron, Rufus, Wade via coms, and Kim were intensely focused on he. All concerns put aside. They were dear in headlights of an oncoming monster truck. Predators locking eyes with a baby herd animal wondering alone in their territory with a broken leg in a cast and the cast tangled in a fishing net and dragging a wooden dingy. The dingy ringing a fog bell reminiscent of a dinner bell. Attuned to every syllable of his grim toned voice. The voice ordinary people try to block out because it gives them chills. The old spy had never elaborated on any aspect of his former calling.
"Deep in the thing I was in - which I will not elaborate on or confirm or deny being an asset of."
A collective blinking and down casting of eyes. Joe did not mind their losing interest. Honestly, he had not felt so vulnerable since his cover had come under scrutiny by – a guy. Back in the past. During a thing….
"I wasn't on the coffee budget. I had to buy my own coffee! Coffee! The spy's wonder drug!"
"Is that why you got deep into the thingy-janitor-thing? Coffee?"
"Yes," Joe snapped back at Ron. To Kim he said, "We could use this."
"Coffee?" Ron asked.
"Junior."
A move against Junior? Kim nibbled at the bait offered. "Junior? How?"
"You string Junior along. Play hard to get."
"I'm more than playing hard to get."
"Let him thing his advances are wearing down you're resistance."
"His advances are wearing my nerves."
"You let him know you're open to the idea of a relationship."
"I'm open to the idea of ending you right now!"
"And then you won't have coffee," Ron chided.
Children. Naïve Children. "You get close to him…!" Joe outlined his plan over Kim's refusal."
"I'd sooner kiss Shego!"
"We lay a trap…!"
"We put you in a dress and dangle you in front Gemini!"
Joe was aghast. Wounded. Hurt even.
"Don't say that like you think I couldn't! I could do that!"
"What do you think Betty Director would have to say of your plot?"
"Betty cannot instruct you on who you date."
It was the natural assumption Team Possible operated within the sphere of Global Justice. Anne Possible was liberal with the accusation and they did share resources to a point. Funnelled via Agents Load & Load. The truth, while not under Betty Director or Global Justice direction it was clear Team Possible could only operate with her terse approval. Under the supervision of an old warhorse and on the proviso they played with kid gloves. Empire was to be left strictly alone.
"What do you think Mrs Dr P will say?" Ron said.
"Like I was saying," Joes tongue moved behind clenched teeth. He might have considered a career as a ventriloquist, "if Team Possible is to survive it may be prudent to distance ourselves from the advances of Junior…."
…
There did seem to be one advantage the universe graciously granted to balance the horror of a baby sister and dirty diapers. The girls seemed to dig it.
The cheerleaders ambushed Ron at lunch demanding every detail of the Stoppable family's new arrival. Every detail; her name, her looks, her hair, her clothing, her booties, her thumb sucking. Hearing how Hana burped and farted at the same time was met with adoration. To stave off their numerous questions Ron found it necessary to invent details. Kim hung back some with a devious smirk indicative this was her doing. Ron considered she could remind him of Bonnie when she was acting devious.
"A photo! You must have taken a photo!" Tara beseeched him. Curses!
"He doesn't have a photo," Monique mused.
Their collective demand for a photo, from trained cheer vocalists, was awe-inspiring. Ron feared a lynching when he fail to meet their demand.
"No big. I have photos," Kim knew Ron would not have thought to take one. "Here. She's an angel." The Kimmunicator was passed around for everyone to fuss. Not even Queen Bee Bonnie was immune. "Finally, someone from the Stoppable line with looks. A future champion Middleton cheerleader you are raising, Stoppable, so don't screw her up!"
"I'm not going to screw up my baby sister's life!"
"Can you one day without storming over our Ronshine?" Monique borrowed a Kim/Ron term. Crazy kids. It felt weird. She resolved to not to in future. "This is among the greatest moments of Ron's life. He's such a gentle creature, how could you believe he would screw up Hana's life? How could you Bonnie?"
"Let me think. Slack habits. General negligence. Uncleanliness - a rodent nests in your pocket."
"I can't fault her, Ron. O.Y.O."
"Appreciate it, Mon."
"Let Kim take the lead," Bonnie advised. "Hana will turn out fine." The squad was inclined to concur.
Later Monique caught up with Ron. Heading him off before he met with his shadow, Kim, for their afternoon walk home.
"When do I get to come round and meet Hana, big brother?"
"Under two and already more popular than me."
"Hana isn't my only reason for asking. More of an excuse to get close to another Stoppable. Thought any more about our chat yesterday?"
"Yes, big sis. I was telling Kim I quit when my parents ambushed me with Hana."
"Maybe a higher power is trying to tell you something?"
"I'm their favourite play thing?"
Ron did not think his words were very humorous. Certainly not enough to cause Monique to laugh out loud as if he'd told the funniest joke imaginable. Nonetheless, she did. She held her chest and cupped him on the back. Ron considered looking over his shoulder to judge who she was putting on an act for and yet hers was a genuine laugh if ever he heard one. No act.
"Bingo. The universe is playing pranks on you, Ron. It's because you're a funny guy."
"Aren't you supposed to make me feel better?"
"You don't? I find the idea comforting. What do you plan to do now?"
Whichever point Mon was trying to put across had become lost on Ron. He could be fairly certain Kim would be lost or disagree. He glady moved to the topic of his next move. Not before Ron re-examined Monique out of the corner of his eye as he re-classifed her as a new unknown in his head. He might have been meeting her for the first time.
"I was planning of trying again this afternoon. Today I learned Junior is getting credit as Kim Possible's partner. No one will question my absence from the team roster."
Mon was more Kim's friend, they'd never talked so much outside of Kim's presence. General greetings and well wishes aside. He had approached Monique only yesterday seeking advice and to left the burden of his troubles knowing she had a record of taking the squad girls under her wing. He was a semi-member of the squad. This must be Monique mother goose.
"Today, huh? That's a hard discussion for after school. How do you think Kim will take it?"
"She'll try to talk me out of it. Say it's been a rough week."
"Then you'll say it hasn't just been a rough week," Monique anticipated his arguments.
"I never signed on Freeze Rays or Mad Golfers. I wouldn't save the world without you, Ron."
"Once she realise she never gave you a choice she'll take it hard."
"I don't want her to blame herself."
"It's Kim's copping cycle. First she'll stubbornly refuses to admit she's wrong. When confronted with indeniable proof she thinks herself the worst of herself. Then she makes it right.
"Hey," Monique stopped him. "I want you to know there is bravery in what you're doing. A coward would allow a situation they did not feel comfortable with lie. Standing up to your best friend and making her understand you don't want to get her or you killed is what a man would do."
"Thank you. Monique." Her words were appreciated. Until this second 'bailing' was the term used to describe what he was considering. Monique's fresh perspective gave him hope he may be contemplating the correct course of action after all.
Ron contemplated Monique's exalting speech as they strolled outside to meet Kim. Taking advantage of his distant attention, Monique called out to Kim, "Hey Kim! Ron was just telling me his folks are taking Hana and him to see their Rabbi. Want to check Club Banana and get our hair done? New season selection just arrived."
"If Ron's busy."
"We can both visit Hana tomorrow. She needs strong female role models and those photos were so cute! I have to meet her."
"Alright."
"Ron promises to complement your hair this time, F.Y.I."
Ron was shell shocked. Monique said he was brave! Monique tricked him! Hijacked his best friend before he could sputter any kind of response. Now they were half-way to the mall.
"What just happened?"
…
Hana was walking, or waddling, whichever best described her movements. And prone to fearlessly exploring her surroundings. Causing no end of trouble for her responsible big brother whom had thus far fished her out of the kitchen cupboards and father's filing cabinet. He'd thought himself losing his mind once his grandmother's piano seemingly began stroking intermittent keys with no apparent musician at the helm. Hana having crawled in the rear of the instrument and amused herself pulling on musical strings. Searching under chairs and tables only to hear a giggle and discover Hana sitting atop an antiques cabinet playing dolly amongst a deceased great, great, a few more greats, aunt's precious remaining artefacts from Europe or something like it. Terror ranking par with the Yono experience numbed him. He could not fathom how Hana had climbed so high.
The puzzle eluding him. Every time he managed to recapture Hana he'd returned her to a supposedly child escape proof play pen in the lounge. Watched as she played with her blow up ball, sing-a-long truck and tiger plush doll, squeeze to hear it roar. Her prison he guarded zealously. Hogan's Heroes could not have escaped his Colonel Klink-able. Though, should his gaze wander for any length of time - The Great Escape! Cue whistling. Cue trombone.
Ron had yet to work out how. Over the padded walls? A gap in the netting? Was she picking the lock with a plastic screwdriver? No, she did not have a plastic screwdriver.
The doorbell chimed and Ron's gaze shifted from Hana for an instant.
Mistake.
"Oh! Oh, not again! Rufus! Rufus, where'd she go?"
"(I didn't see her leave…!)"
If this kept up the pair were destined for a panic induced nervous break with reality. Rufus had even cut her quota of snarky remarks this kid was so much trouble. In this instance at least Hana had caused a false alarm. She popped up from behind a baby dolly of similar size yelling, "Peek-a-boo."
"Wow, Han. You're a really good hider. I bet you'll win all the games of hide and seek."
Taking a breath, Rufus commented, "(This is disconcerting)."
"Kim caught a break with the tweebs."
The door chimed again. "Rufus. Watch Hana," Ron asked of his pet.
"Oh, hi Yori!" Ron greeted his guest upon opening the door. He was conflicted over whether to be relieved or panic more. He really would prefer of Yori not to think of him as an incompetent goof ill equipped to care for baby sister. Of which there was real peril of her discovering if he let her in. On the flip side, he needed help. Now. Kim was not an option. He prayed Yori was every inch the babysitter Kim was, every inch the babysitter his mother believed Yori to be while contemplating a means to decieve her to stay.
Fortune favoured Ron for Yori solved his dilemma. She brushed her raven hair back and said, "I was wondering if I might study here with your family. I do not know anyone else…."
Score! And not because this girl has an incredible smile. Which, it occurred to Ron, she did.
"Study! I love study. I study day and night. Please, come in."
"Are your parents' home?"
Ron closed the door behind her. "Dad's working late. Mom had to go into the office and make a stop at the supermarket. She said she'd watch Hana if I cooked so I gave her a list."
"You cook? Good, are you?"
"Well, I don't like to brag…." Ron was a Godly cook. "Why don't you stay for dinner? Judge for yourself." Ron knew he was a Godly cook. It was his one skill and only opportunity in life to put on suave modest act.
"How long have Mrs Stoppable been gone. Long?"
Ron eyes flicked to a wall clock. "She left two minutes and twenty-eight seconds ago. It sure feels longer."
"Ee-moto. ee-moto."
A tug on his pants leg alerted Ron to a third party to the conversation. Hana was out of her play pen. Again.
"Hello Hana - HANA!" Ron picked her up and covered his alarm with a forced grin. In his mind he begged of Yori, "don't ask questions, don't ask questions…."
Rufus trailed Hana in. "(Dude! Dude! Dude! You would not believe…!)"
"Ee-moto," Hana giggled some more.
Yori raised her palm to her mouth, failing to disguise a restrained titter. "Chisana Hana, kare wa oniisan desu yo." she informed the Hana. Ron got the impression a conversation on a whole over level was taking place before him.
"Is Hana saying something?"
Yori was non-commital, wondering into the living room.
"(I saw the whole thing. I cannot even fathom…!)"
"She's a big talker. And absolutely fearless. I know the type. Han's going to be a proud adventurer one day. Run her brother around the neighbourhood keeping her out of trouble."
"(Kim couldn't do what this kid can do! We are so…!)"
"I see Hana and you are become close, Ron-san," Yori congratulated the overwrought brother. She was pleased with this development.
"May I?" and Yori set down her light collection of college books to take Hana from his hands. The little girl seemed delighted to be in Yori's arms.
"You seem to have the touch or whatever."
"It is no trouble."
"No big. I know. Or so I'm reminded often. For some of us it's big."
Ron waved for Yori to take a seat. Be comfortable.
"(I am talking to myself! That is dangerous! Why do I bother? Every time! Now he is sitting in there with the beautiful girl from next door. I am going to Wades. I am going to Wade's and I am not coming back until I have that techno-weenie build me a translation collar. It can hang around your neck! I am so sick of this….)"
….
"You know, if you do decide to stay for dinner, I can make a start. If you could watch Hana for me…."
"You must be Ron-san's first baby," Yori said this to Hana. Bouncing her on her lap and lifting her into the air. Giving Hana the time of her life. Ron wished he could make her laugh so much. "He is looking terrified. I thought Yori told you to be gentle? No running Ron-san ragged in the first week."
"No, no! I'm not terrified. Entirely."
He was flustered. It was telling. And vaguely cute. She could not help laugh at his expression. She would not normally. In Yori's world discipline was central. But Ron, she could read him like a book. He was humble and gentle and genuine. It was not an effort to enjoy his company. Nor were these surroundings Yori's world so she eased him off the hook she had hung him on, "It is alright Ron-san. Everyone terrified first baby. I was terrified. Hana special baby. Need extra special attention and plenty of friends to help. And hugs," she gave Hana a squeeze. "Hana needs plenty of hugs. At least twenty-five every day, right Hana?
"Hana not so scary. Just keep her energy focused."
"Focused on what?" Pointers Ron was keen for. The desire to escape to the kitchen faded seeing Yori handle Hana. Play with her. Make her laugh. That's what he wanted to do, he supposed. It was his second day as a big brother. He didn't know what he wanted. Simply that - whatever Yori had.
He hoped Rufus was listening. Maybe he should take notes.
"I read stories with her. Show her new things. Don't leave her to play with toys alone. Play with her."
"That's the trick?'
"If all else fails, the Flippies. Resort to the Flippies. I left emergency supply of DVDs in box you helped me yesterday."
"If that fails?"
"Then you be afraid." It was meant to sound as a joke. No, some alarm siren in the back of Ron's head told him Yori was not so much kidding as knew. Perhaps she had an idea the trouble Hana had put him through before her timely arrival. Perhaps she'd learned herself the hard way the mischief Hana can be.
It took Ron a few minutes to connect with his inner child and really play with Hana. Somehow it was easier with Yori watching over him rather than his parents or Kim. Talking in silly voices and playing with stuffed animals, you'd have thought it come to Ron. The Mad Dog mascot, naturally. He watched afternoon cartoon serials. Still played with action figures (albeit, not so much when Kim or any other girl was watching)!. How this girl from next door had helped him loosen up Ron didn't know. He could only answer a multitude of reasons. She was ever quick to compliment him. She led by example, pulling funny faces with the best kindergartner. Really getting into the game, you'd think she'd never pulled a funny face before. That her imperfect command of English made her already sound a little, her trying to string together baby talk in English could be hilarious. Often she mixed in some Japanese. It all made Hana giggle and made Ron feel good about giving it a go. Her bold challenge of Ron's feelings coupled with admission of how she'd been terrified when left in charge of a young life earned her Ron's respect without his even realising she had.
Maybe he was also subconsciously trying to impress her. More than subconsciously, likely. Here was a beautiful and smart girl his age who admired him. More than anything Ron was pleased and relieved together they was getting along so well and they with Hana in turn.
Mrs Stoppable was pleased to find them together dancing to a Flippie DVD. Enough to join in and eventually take over to allow Ron to cook dinner. Hana would need some before bed time.
"Do you mind if I watch you cook?"
Boo-yah. "Not at all."
The phrase gave Yori pause. "Oh. If you don't like me watch…?"
"No, no. I mean, I do. I really do. What I meant. Yes. Yes."
"If that is what you would like…?"
"Yes."
Each of them came to understood the root of their misunderstanding. Feeling silly and amused with themselves and knowing with an exchange of glaces the other felt the same way.
Observing Chef Ronaldo work his chopping board, Yori made mention, "You very good with a blade."
"Oh yeah?" and he showed off his skills twirling the blade in his hand. Being Ron, one would anticipate this braggart act would result in injury. Not Ron in the kitchen. Ron in the kitchen was a different beast. The kitchen was his battleground. His fingers bore scars earned here with pride.
"I wonder do your knife skills as a cook aid you with your life as an adventurer, or your life as an adventurer aid with your skills as a cook?"
"I have been called upon on occasion to use my skills to spruce up a meal far from civilisation," he winked. Contining, "Well…," it was nice to have one person think of him as a hero when the papers cited Junior. Intention to resign or no. He did not want her admiration of him to end. Better to come clean to Yori now, while he held her attention demonstrating his awesome-ness with knives, than realise he was nothing special on her own. "No. Those missions with Kim, we don't use weapons."
"So you fight with your fists?"
"No. No, we…. We don't go out to fight anyone. We help people. People e-mail us their problems and we go out and help them. Usually ending with Kim decking someone. But we don't actually do that, I am not a fighter."
"So what, Ron-san, are you?"
"Distraction. I usually distract people. I can run. I'm pretty good at running. Or walking in screaming and being all theatrical."
"In Japan. The ninja. They derive their power from distraction and theatrics."
"I wouldn't call what I do very ninja-e…."
Yori smiled with him. "I guess not."
After Ron's wonderful meal, they opened a picture book together with Hana. One with plenty of animals and vehicles and words to learn.
"What's this?" Hana would ask.
"It's a page. You turn it." Ron had in fact caught on to the game minutes earlier. The funny was for Yori's benefit.
"Zebura," Yori identified the picture in her home language and looked to Ron. They'd only started this game when realising Yori was not always clear on the English terms for some of theses creatures. It made the game better. Now all three were learning words.
"Zebra."
"What's this?"
"Tora."
"Tiger."
"Rar," Hana imitated her toy Tiger.
"What's this?"
"Saru."
"Monkey. Hana, promise me you'll stay away from monkey."
…
"We end up on this island is just so classically villain. Chrome on everything. Futuristic whooshing doors – his house looked like the set of Star Trek. And the guy, Senior Senior or something, has his son, Junior – messed up, I know - strap us down on this conveyer belt, see. Before he begins his grand speech on how Team Possible was no match for his cunning. We were there to deliver a petition! We asked nicely! Still, he'd decided to flash freeze us! In the Mediterranean! He felt it was ironic."
"So, anyway, Junior says, "Let me shoot them! Let me shoot them! They're going to get away…!"
"Junior Senior?" Yori enquired. "The Junior Senior?"
"Who else could have a goofy name? Junior Senior, can you imagine it?"
"Yes, Stoppable-san."
Ron's parent took Hana off the teens hands planning to enjoy her company before the little girl's bed time. Leaving Ron and Yori alone after a fantastic meal, regaling his guest with the tales of adventure. Ron hoped he was not going too fast. Yori was still learning English and he wasn't much of a storyteller. No one ever wanted to hear of his exploits. Joe's demand for after-action reports aside. Yori may have been the living being to whom he had relayed these events. The first to take time to sit down and listen. Be curious.
"Junior Senior, very dangerous. Do not believe any different because of goofy name."
"You know of him?"
"Soldiers come and attacked a village near my home. Much destruction. Many people hurt. It is said Junior was with them."
"I'm sorry. I know Junior is a colossal jerk. I had no idea how bad he is."
"You should tell another story instead. Tell me of the adventure last week."
…
Ron refused to take Kim's hand, instead roaring, "This way!"
Ron used his body to shield Kim. A shuriken bit deep into his rib cage. The entity he control of Ron's body studied the wound passively. "I bet that hurt."
…
"Last week things didn't go so hot. Junior stole the prize artefact. I got myself trapped within a buried temple fighting off hallucinations. It was the scariest, worst moment of my life. If you don't mind, it's not an experience I want to relive."
Yori demonstrated her understanding by moving closer to Ron on the couch. Ending distance between them and resting her head against his.
"You'd think I should be in counselling. No one would believe the story if I did tell it. They would say I was delusional. It was real, but crazy people are always sure it was real."
"Ron, do you want to say goodnight to Hana?" Mr Stoppable called from upstairs. "We need to put her to bed."
"Ee-moto," from her crib Hana reached for Ron when he entered.
"Emoto! Yay, Emoto!"Ron imitated and almost lifted her up but his mom Stopped him, "No, no! It's a trick. Hana is going to bed. Just kiss her goodnight, quickly."
"Goodnight Hana. Have sweet dreams." Thrawted! Hana was not silent on her objection to being stuck in the crib. Ron did as his Mom instructed and kissed her goodnight on the top of her head. Yori too said goodnight to Hana and they left the older adults to read Hana a story and lie her down. Ensure the little escape artist remained there. Ron was thankful it was not his responsibility.
"I can't wait till she really talks so we can have a conversation. I can teach her things. I might have to learn some things first."
Ron said goodnight to Yori and, "Thank you for saving me today."
"Maybe you can repay the favour. Help a girl in her hour of need."
"Even if it were shoe shopping. But please, don't be shoe shopping."
"Imouto," Yori corrected Ron's earlier interpretation of Hana's words. "Her name for you. Hana is confused I think. It means little sister."
She left him standing at the door, contemplating the nickname he knew he was stuck with.
…
A weight on his chest woke Wade in the night. During his time on the run from the orphanage he had woken to rats before. Revulsion shook him and he scrambled in his half-alert state to bat the creature away and turn on the light. Each task he failed miserably to achieve.
Rufus pulled the cord to activate his desk lamp.
"Rufus? What are you doing here?"
"(Make me a translation collar! Do it! Do it now)!"
"I don't understand. Is Ron hurt?"
"(He's with a girl. Do not worry about him. Worry about you)."
"He's not freaking over the Yono stitch? Did Warhawk come back? I'll call Kim?"
"(Oh, please don't call miss perfect into this)."
This point Rufus managed to demonstrate with action. Fearing booting up his computer system would waste precious seconds he reached for the phone line his parents had provided him when he moved in, little realising cyberspace provided him with unlimited access to any and all communications without his Pizza Hut delivery orders showing up on the monthly bill. This would be the first time he'd actually used the phone.
Rufus pulled the plug on this historic moment of Wade used dated technology. Ripped it right out of the wall.
"Hello? Operator? How do these things work? There's no dial…," he saw Rufus handling the cord and put it together.
"You're not here to kill me, are you?"
"(Close. Here's my theory to motivation. Carrot/Stick. We are sit down and discuss what I want until we have an understanding. The carrot shall be sugar treats and cheeze topping. I have means to borrow or steal that which you desire. The stick, I shall bite of you with my small yet my disproportionately large teeth, used in the wild for borrowing through the earth. Be thankful I am an inoculated rodent)."
"I don't know what you're saying."
"(You better invest in a litter box, that's all I'm saying. I am going nowhere)."