Hello!
Firstly, I am so so so sorry for the lack of updates recently! I just haven't had the time to write as I am busy revising for important exams :'( however I will try to update as often as possible because I don't want to let you guys down, please forgive my horribly long update delays and I hope this chapter is ok, it isn't exactly how I wanted it to be but I hope you enjoy it all the same.
Thank you so much for your reviews, PM's, favourites and follows, and please keep them coming as they do keep me motivated to get another chapter out at the moment!
Chapter 10-Pour my heart out
Brax sighed as he walked along the beach front, slowly making his way back home. It was the one place he thought would bring him a sense of clarity. The one place he knew could always give him comfort. But today it brought him nothing. He just felt empty inside. A gaping hole in his heart stood out and threatened to swallow him, he felt consumed by love and loss at the same time.
Charlie didn't hear the door open as he walked into the house, she didn't hear Ruby who said hello to him as she ran her fingers through Charlie's hair as they huddled together on the sofa. As if by protective instinct though her legs curled up to her chest and she kept a close hold on Ruby's hand. It gave her something to hold onto when everything else seemed broken and unstable. She just stared into the black TV screen that gave her no positivity, just a bleak outlook of what could lie ahead. She failed to register Ruby moving off of the sofa and leaving the room at Brax's nod and she failed to register her head sinking softly into the cool material. The little light that came through the chiffon curtains came with a heat that brought her comfort and warmth as she shivered gently. She felt her heartstrings twang as Brax walked towards her. She moved her hand away as he reached out to hers, her eyes looking anywhere but him as he crouched down in front of her. She knew if she looked at him she'd find herself getting lost amongst the eyes that she loved so much, the ones that could make her weak at the knees, no matter how hard she fought against them. She wiped a tear away quicker than he could attempt to reach it as it fell from her eye. She didn't want his touch on her skin, she didn't want to be reminded of what she'd once had, what she still longed for, but what clearly wasn't hers. His words from Angelo's stung in her mind 'it hurts me to look at her' it played in her mind over and over again like a broken record and she couldn't get it out. Being back here was hurting her more than when she'd stayed away. She ignored as his body tensed when she sat up, stood up and walked away to him, she face the window but he could see her tears tracking her face in the reflection of the glass, it trapped each nerve in his body, he ached with a mixture of pain and longing but he still found no strength to walk towards her. His body was consumed with fear and love. Two stark contrasts that shouldn't mix but do in the most heart wrenching ways he could possibly imagine.
His heart stung as her voice finally spoke. It was flat and dull, consisting of no emotion. "I can't stay here Brax." She said. refusing to look at him as the words left her lips, she found herself catching more tears as they fell, her eyes averting his that reflected in the glass.
"Why not?" Brax asked, noting that her eyes seemed to flicker down as he started to twist the ring on his finger. She'd noticed that motion in the window. He saw her swallow and wipe the remainder of her tears away before turning to him, her eyes pleading with him to hold her but let her go at the same time.
"Because-"
Brax stopped her and cut her off, his "Charlie we've lost so much time-"
Charlie scoffed and shook her head at him, "What and getting together now is going to make up for it?" Her tone shocked him and took him aback, he'd failed to realise that she'd overheard him in Angelo's. "A lot happens in 6 months Brax." Charlie muttered,
Brax let out a deep sigh and placed his hands on his hips, his head tilting towards the ceiling in frustration. "Charlie can you stop talking riddle to me and spell it out."
"I ruined your life I can't do it again." Her voice cracked as she spoke.
"You didn't ruin my life-"
"I did Brax!" she gasped, her eyes pleading with him to understand her, "Look at us! We're not the same people we once were." She said, and she was right. The gap between them was larger than it once was the space between their bodies didn't radiate with the warmth it used to, it felt cold and unloving, they'd both been so consumed with making things easier for each other that they'd forgotten how to understand each other in the process.
"Charlie, we are." Brax said adamantly, surprised when Charlie glared at him and shook her head. "Well then tell me what am I missing Charlie!" Brax begged, his eyes beginning to water as a lone tear escaped from the corner of her eye, and he had to restrict himself from running to her and brushing it away.
"I went to Angelo's earlier." Charlie said softly, her palms leaning behind her against the wall, clamming up at the way Brax was looking at her.
"And?" he asked confused,
"And I overheard you and Natalie." Charlie said slowly,
Brax looked at her and clicked his tongue before speaking. "Charlie-"
She shook her head again to stop him speaking, only this time she didn't seem angry with him, Brax couldn't read the expression in her eyes, she just looked lost. "It's not you speaking to her that's made me change my mind it's the fact you couldn't talk to me." She spoke in a small whisper, her voice turning into a high pitch as she finished speaking, her tone making Brax's heart break ad her confession making his words stumble and roll over each other, turning to felt.
"I spoke to Nat because I was scared I would lose you if I told you how I felt," he said honestly,
"Well then why didn't you tell me that!" Charlie said, her voice wasn't bitter, it wasn't angry; it was soft but demanding. She longed for him to open up to her and she longed for him to talk to her like he used to, she wanted to ear his husky voice telling her his problems and she'd gladly listen to him all day, but how could they love when they're afraid?
"Because funnily enough Charlie the one person who I was ever honest with about how I felt lied to me for 6 months so excuse me for not wanting to pour my heart out to you!" Charlie felt the little air she had left escape her lungs in a hurry as her tears fell swiftly down her cheeks in a stream as Brax took a step towards her, the pain he was feeling etched on his face in each strained crease in his skin. He didn't let his eyes meet her, they looked through her, the look on his face was one she now couldn't recognise, Brax had never looked so broken standing in front of the person that made him complete, his tears drained the blood from her cheeks and threatened to tear her to pieces, he didn't know whether he wanted to hold her or run from her, the woman that used to make everything clearer to him had blurred the lines between what he wanted and what he needed. He didn't know where his feelings stood and he didn't know where they stood, how could you possibly understand when "Charlie-"
"If that's how you feel then fine, but you were pretty comfortable with talking to her about this."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Maybe you're better off with her." She said, it took all of her energy and strength she had left to say that to him and the minute it left her lips it was as if she had felt his chest constricting at her words and her lungs tightened as he winced and closed his eyes briefly at her words, finding the power to string his words together was defeating him as he took in the magnitude of her words.
"You know that's not true." Brax spoke softly and she knew he was right, in their hearts he would always belong to her and she would always belong to hers, leaving each other forever wasn't an option when a gaping hole would be left in each others hearts, a hole whose shape could only be filled with each others presence. Being apart wasn't in their nature.
"Isn't it?" "Look at us Brax, look at yourself look at me- no actually don't because it hurts you to look at me!" she whimpered, the rims of her eyes a raw red from the tears that continued, what she was saying made no sense in her heart, but her head didn't allow herself to fall into his arms the way she used to. She felt a longing to have his chest against hers and the heat from his body radiate throughout her but she couldn't forget the feeling of being alone, she couldn't instantly forgive the fact he seemed to trust Natalie more than her and most of all she couldn't forgive herself for causing him so much pain. She could see it in the hot red rims of his eyes in which his pain bore into her. 'We've been in the same house for 24 hours and we've got to this."
"Yeah well that's what happens when you fake your own death!" Brax yelled suddenly, his heart bursting suddenly with emotion he'd bottled up for so long, and all he wanted to do was run from her. He couldn't trust himself to fall in love al over again yet he couldn't trust his heart to let go of her.
"Don't you dare!" Ruby yelled as she hurtled back into the room, having heard all of their argument. She stood next to Charlie, her gaze pointed at Brax as his jaw clenched,
"Do what?" he asked, yelling at her, trying to ignore Charlie flinching at the anger in his voice. "Tell the truth? I begged you not to turn off the machines!" he barked, "I begged you and now look at where we are Rubes!" he said, stepping towards Ruby who was quick to take one step back.
"BRAX JUST STOP!" Charlie screamed, stepping in between Brax and Ruby, her gaze fixated on Brax firmly. Their eyes locked in a mixture of angst and passion and Charlie couldn't help but drop her slightly angered guard at the pain in his eyes, those green eyes could make her heart melt like butter the second she looked into them.
"I've spent everyday for the past 6 months wishing that I could go back just to tell you how I felt, how I still feel." He said softly, his voice crumbling, "Every single day." His tone had a brittle raw quality Charlie couldn't recognize, her absence for the past 6 months meant she couldn't hear his grief speaking, Ruby on the other hand recognised it instantly, and it was in that moment, Ruby realised Brax still felt just as alone as he had done without Charlie as he did now, having her back. He didn't know how to cope with having Charlie back. He was scared she would be gone if he blinked once, he was scared each day he would wake up and he'd be alone with her, and for that reason Ruby knew, he wouldn't let himself move on from her, but he wouldn't allow himself to let his heart grow with his love for Charlie. "Don't tell me I'm better off with somebody else." Brax spoke, a lone tear streaming down his cheeks that Charlie so badly wanted to catch, yet her head knew no was not the time to comfort him as he looked at her with the same distanced look on his face, a photograph of grief. They were all oblivious to a wary Heath standing in the doorway, his eyes darting between the three of them.
"Geez I preferred it when you two were having noisy sex." Heath piped up.
11:30 PM
Brax stilled as he walked towards the front door, his hand lingering on the door knob, he was hesitant to go, but he knew in his head and his heart, they needed a few days space. He needed a few days space. Merely seeing her each day overwhelmed him with a mixture of emotions that his heart struggled to contain, he needed to decide what he wanted; not just for him but for her. He wasn't leaving her for good, he wouldn't call it leaving, he called it space. Space and time for them both to try and work out what they wanted. Chucking the notepad down on the coffee table he sighed. No more summer bay for the next few days, no more seeing Charlie for the next few days, just thinking about what he wanted and thinking about her, whether he really could ever forgive her. Slowly turning the doorknob he took one last look inside the darkened house and flicked the table lamp off that he'd used to see in the pitch-black living room.
Next Day
Heath trudged across the kitchen, wiping his eyes drowsily the next morning before standing impatiently by the sink as he turned the taps and waited for the ice cold water to run into the glass he held in his hands. He grabbed another glass from the cupboard and filled it up for Bianca. As he looked out of the window Natalie caught his eye as she jogged along. Heath never used to understand why Brax used to look out of that window each morning and look at her run past until now, he realised it must have always reminded him of Charlie. She always used to run past them on the beach and give them a nod, and she'd always turn back and look at Brax. Heath turned away from the sink and sighed as he leant against the kitchen counter, why did Charlie and Brax make things so difficult for each other. If he was Brax he wouldn't be able to stay away from her, but then again he'd never been put in their situation and he wasn't Brax, Brax was more sentimental than he was. He'd make up for the time they'd lost and Brax would feel guilty and blame himself for her absence for the past 6 months. And there was the sentimental divide.
Lolling towards the kitchen table Heath slumped on one of the chairs, his eyes glancing towards the digital clock left on the coffee table, 8:05 am. He frowned as he noticed the slightly crinkled paper that lay next to the clock. Heaving himself out of the chair he walked over and picked it up, his face instantly falling as he read the letter.
Needed some space,
Look after Angelo's and look after Charlie
Brax.
Shit this was going to tear Charlie apart. Heath sunk into the couch and held his head in his hands; he wanted to kill Brax. Cursing under his breath his head snapped up as someone's feet padded along the cool wooden kitchen floor, he looked up to see a black flowing maxi dress and he winced silently as he saw it was Charlie, she smiled at him and gestured her thumb back over her shoulder,
"I was gonna make a cuppa do you-" she stopped as Heath sighed and looked back down at the note Brax had left. There was no point in trying to cloud the truth from her. "What?" she asked.
"Brax um…" Heath shook his head and handed the note to her, he felt his heart break for her as she shook her head lightly and chuck the note back onto the table, her feet heading quickly towards the door, "Charlie." Heath called after her as she opened it,
"I might go for a walk." She yelled back, slamming the door shut after her, running after her Heath held her arm back as she walked down the drive,
"Charlie-"
"No Heath." Charlie interjected, glaring at him through harsh eyes. "Please, just let me go for a walk." She pleaded silently, noticing the quiver in her voice Heath nodded reluctantly and released his gentle grasp on her arm, watching her as she walked away and towards the beach. He froze slightly as a pair of hands crept around his waist, only to smile as he realised who it was.
"I'll go after her." Bianca whispered in his ear before kissing his cheek softly and placing the note from the coffee table in Heaths hands before going after Charlie.
Bianca watched as she saw Charlie sat out on one of the sand dunes, her gaze running out to the deep wide ocean as her hands let the sand run between her finger tips. She debated for a second whether to go and sit next to her or whether to leave her in her own peace of mind. But her feet did the opposite to her minds silent stern telling to leave her alone, she made her way over and stood behind her for a second.
"You know, you can't hide out here all day." Bianca said as she plopped down next to Charlie, "He just needs space Charlie,"
Charlie scoffed and shook her head in disbelief, "He had space for 6 months surely that's enough."
"You both don't get it do you?" Bianca asked, chuckling softly to herself as she looked at a bewildered Charlie,
"Get what B?" Charlie asked, letting out a heavy sigh as she turned to face Bianca and tucked some of her loose strands of hair billowing in the breeze behind her ears.
"You both feel exactly the same way yet you constantly push the other away." Bianca said certainly, smiling weakly at Charlie whose eyes watered slightly, "Come on mum, when he gets back just let him in." Bianca encouraged, nudging Charlie slightly with her arm,
Charlie scoffed, "If he comes back."
"He will, he wouldn't miss this for the world." Bianca spoke softly, her eyes drifting down to Charlie's bump, a small smile resting on her face as she looked up to Charlie who nodded anxiously,
"How about I take your mind off of all of this." Bianca offered, laughing at Charlie's surprised face,
"That depends what you had in mind?" Charlie asked, rolling her eyes as Bianca smirked,
"We should have a get together party." She said excitedly, clapping her hands together,
"A get together?" Charlie said slowly, raising her eyebrows at Bianca and waiting for her to tell her she was joking,
"Yeah, like a welcome home thing!" Bianca squealed,
"I don't know B-" Charlie started,
"Oh come on, everyone has wanted to see you and besides it will be fun!"
"Really?" Charlie asked, attempting to plaster a smile on her face,
"Yes Charlie, really." Bianca said adamantly,
"You ok?" Heath asked, jumping up from sitting on the floor with Rocco as the girls walked in,
Charlie nodded, "I'm fine, um I think I'm going to have a lie down." She said quietly, smiling weakly at Heath and Bianca before retreating down the corridor.
"Is she fine?" Heath asked as soon as she left the room,
"No." Bianca replied quickly, delicately scratching the back of her head.
"We have a problem." Heath nodded,
"We have more than one problem Heath." Bianca said through gritted teeth, swatting his chest lightly, "I mean do you even know where he is?"
"If I did I'd be there and dragging him back down here." Heath said as he walked towards the fridge and opened a bottle of beer with his teeth before spiting the lid into the bin.
"She's not coping Heath." Bianca said softly as they both slumped down into the sofa, "And I don't think any of this is good for her or the baby." Bianca said, as she looked down at Rocco who was contently wriggling around underneath his baby mobile mat. "Where are you going?" She asked as Heath put his beer down and stood up from the sofa,
"I'm going to see muma Buckton and give her a cuddle," he said, winking at Bianca before walking down the corridor towards Charlie's room.
"Charlie?" Heath frowned as he opened Casey's door and was welcomed to an empty room, the curtains fluttered in the breeze that swept through the room and down the corridor but there was no sign of Charlie. He closed the door and walked down the corridor, stilling as he walked past Brax's room and noticed the door was closed rather than open.
Charlie stilled as she walked down the corridor, her body stopping almost automatically at the foot of his room. Her gaze drifted towards his shirt that lay on the foot of the bed and his duvet that was all ruffled up, beckoning her to come and lay in it, she looked back down the corridor briefly before creeping inside, her hand softly closing the door with the brass handle, her fingers lingering on the handle for a split second before it clicked shut. She felt her emotions overflowing like a treasure chest as she stood in Brax's room, her heart at the front of her mouth. For the past 6 months she had found herself thinking about him on a daily basis, and he had always been at the forefront of her mind, she may not have been able to remember each day they had spent together, but she could remember the feeling of his lips on hers and the way their bodies moved in synch together, the way his hands interlocked with hers perfectly, like a key to a lock, except this time she thought of him, she didn't know how she should feel, she stood in his room which threw memories at her from all angles, his shirts his bedding, even the way it smelt, it was Brax's cologne that poisoned the air around her and threatened to elope her in tears. And what she found hurt her the most, the thing that tore her heart apart was that their separation was not this time out of fore but out of choice, he'd left her out of his own will and she'd pushed him to the point where he'd stopped trying. Out of comfort she took his shirt in her hands and held it up to her cheeks, her nose and mouth embedded in the material as she took in his warm scent. She felt a long awaited tear slip from her eye as she clung to the shirt and her legs sunk into the bed as she slumped down onto it, her tears only being silenced by the cool cotton shirt of his that she held close to her face, it was like the strength she'd tried and failed to hold onto for the past few days seeped out of her like water from a sponge.
It was only as she lifted her head up from out of Brax's shirt that she noticed the box that stood in the corner of the room, she knitted her brows together as she noticed the labelling 'Memories of Charlie'. Pulling the box towards her she sat down on the edge of the bed and lifted its lid. She couldn't help the small smile that tugged on her lips as she looked at the contents inside and her eyes instantly fell on the photo frame of her and Brax, their cheeks pressed together against what looked like a mountain of pillows and a duvet pulled up around their chests. She couldn't remember where it was taken, she could just tell from the picture that she, they, were both happy, heck she must have been if she'd let him take a picture of her with no make up on at all.
Her breath hitched slightly as she noticed something in the box, baby booties. She felt her heart constrict as she looked down at them, no matter how many times he'd said to her how he'd felt for the past 6 months she hadn't understood him until now. He'd held his pain so tightly that he even kept their wishes for the future in a box and he hadn't forgotten. He hadn't forgotten how much he loved her. Charlie failed to notice as the door clicked open, it was only as she saw the pair of feet at the door that she shot her head up and dropped the booties back into the box, the back of her hand wiping furiously at the rims of her eyes. Her chest clutched onto the past so tightly it left her arms to full to embrace the present at that moment.
"There's no point I've caught you out Buckton." Heath chuckled at her attempt as she pouted at him, although as he looked into her eyes he noticed a deepened sadness in them as she peered up at him before her eyes drifted back down to the box that sat at her feet.
"He loves you." Heath spoke quietly as his own eyes scowered the contents inside the box. Charlie nodded hesitantly before her nod turned into a shake and she let her tears go, she hunched up and dropped her head down into her chest, her hands clinging onto Heath's arm as he held her softly , her expression was pained, and the tear stained look of her cheeks and the crimson red blotches around her eyes was a photograph of sadness Heath would always picture in memory in his mind, her whole demeanor had changed, she'd gone from holding things together to allowing them to fall apart. In the minuet space of time Brax had been gone she had scrumbled and Heath couldn't help but wonder as he held her, whether she'd cried like this before and he couldn't help but worry that if she had, no one would have been there to hold her and to be there for her, he was finally realizing that her resilience to comfort was probably due to the fact she'd been alone for so long that having someone there was harder because the pain of losing them all over again would have been harder than just not having someone there at all. Seeing more tears freely flow down her cheeks as her crying subsided Heath shuffled up the bed, holding Charlie's still tiny frame close to his body, his back leaning up against the headboard as he waited for her tears to stop. Charlie gently shuffled in his arms, holding her body to him, his own eyes glazing over with tears as her tears instantly dampened his shirt, her hands clung onto his shirt and strength giving her the security she needed at that moment, he could see she was weak and he could see that she needed Brax despite her stubbornness.
"I didn't mean to push him away Heath." Charlie whispered, her voice choking quietly, "What if he doesn't come back?" she murmured against his shoulder, her eyes looking at him worriedly as he pulled back and ducked his head to her level.
"He will." Heath reassured her confidently,
"He hates me Heath." Charlie mumbled, her hands wiping her eyes softly,
"That's not true. If he hated you, number one, he wouldn't be hurting so bad and number two he wouldn't have kept this." Heath said, nodding his head down towards all of the memories scattered inside the box, a small piece of Charlie and Brax residing in each of them.
Day 3 without Brax
Charlie sighed as she stood at the end of the bed, her eyes looking down at the clothes that lay in front of her. She wasn't sure what she wanted, for once in her life, she didn't know if the decision she was about to make would be the best one for her, the best on for a future. Staring down at the clothes brought back some of the best moments of her life, moments where she felt alive, but she found her heart sinking as one prominent memory came back to her, one that had unfortunately failed to be wiped out from her mind and the clothing that lay in front of her suddenly seemed to gape with a huge hole of blood and she found her eyes not being able to tear herself away as the pain hit her all over again. Her head snapped up as the door opened and closed, she got her hopes up instantly, thinking it was Brax, until the voice sounded through the house,
"Mum!" Ruby called down the hallway, bouncing into the room with a smile on her face, "April and I were going to go to the diner for lunch…" Ruby stopped and her smile fell at the outfit on the bed.
"What- what is that doing out Mum?" Ruby said, her voice quivering slightly as she pointed at the clothes. It seemed stupid that just a piece of cloth could bring tears into her eyes but it did.
"I was just sorting some stuff out." Charlie answered, turning away from Ruby and lowering her gaze back down to the bed. She didn't want Ruby to ask any more questions but she knew that she would.
"What a keep pile and a bin pile, because you know that can go on the bin pile right?" Ruby said with a timid smile on her face, her heart beat racing as Charlie still looked at the outfit and said nothing. It was then she knew what Charlie meant by 'sorting stuff out.'
"Please don't tell me you're thinking of going back." Ruby whispered, her voice choking at the end of her sentence and her eyes not willing to hold any tears in as Charlie didn't reply, "You are aren't you." Ruby spoke knowingly, her voice shaking as she clasped her hands over her mouth when Charlie nodded in reply. She felt all of the air leave her lungs at the mere prospect of it.
"You can't be serious, Mum, you can't do that." Ruby's voice shook in horror as Charlie walked towards her and placed her palms on her shoulders.
"Ruby please just try to understand-"
"Understand what mum!" Ruby yelled, wrenching her hands off of her. Charlie felt suddenly deflated at the loss of contact, her hands dropped to her sides limply, feeling lifeless. "Don't tell me to understand!" she screamed, tears flowing in a thin sheen down her cheeks, "I can't believe you would be so selfish." She spoke quietly, crossing her arms protectively across her chest as she searched Charlie's face in some desperate plea for answers,
"Ruby! Don't talk to me like that, this is my choice." Charlie raised her voice and her eyes widened,
"You've don't even have the decency to think about me or Brax in this do you?" she said, her voice twinging with hurt as Charlie closed her eyes tightly at the mention of his name
"Brax isn't here Ruby-"
"No but I am!" Ruby screeched, her eyes piercing through her mothers, "I am here and that job ruined our lives!" Her voice broke into pieces as she spoke, her lungs gasping for air as tears of sadness flowed freely down her reddened cheeks.
"Ruby just here me out-" Charlie begged reaching her hand out desperately for Ruby's,
"No Mum! No!" Ruby yelled and backed away, her body shaking with fear as she spoke, her voice trembling uncontrollably. "You've taken 2 bullets, who's to say there won't be another one…none of us predicted what would happen that day, you can't say that won't happen again." Ruby pleaded, darting her eyes up to meet Charlie's and hoping there would be some flicker of recognition of understanding there.
"Ruby you don't know that," Charlie spoke quietly, flinching as Ruby laughed sarcastically and scoffed at Charlie's comment.
"Exactly we don't know!" Ruby yelled, "But what I do know is, your job was to blame." She screamed, her body leaning forwards slightly in anger as she pointed her finger towards Charlie.
"No Ruby, I was with Brax that's why." Charlie spoke quietly, trying remain calm.
"You would have been safe if you weren't a cop!" Ruby spoke knowingly, her voice quietening slightly as tears replaced the previous anguish in hr voice "How about that one Charlie! None of this would have happened if it wasn't for that!" she cried, pointing at the police uniform on the bed. "So you go ahead and work for the force Charlie, but I sure as hell, won't forgive you for going back."
Charlie stood in the room, her heart being pushed into her airways at her daughters' admission. It wasn't what Ruby had said about her job that hurt her the most. It was more the fact that the conversation started off with her calling her mum, and ended with Ruby calling her Charlie. And Charlie wasn't sure how she was supposed to take that, it was like the air had left her lungs and her heart had ran cold.
She jumped as a familiar voice sounded from the doorway and a deep sigh left the base of his throat. "You feeling ok?" Heath asked.
"Yep." Charlie replied curtly, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth to stop her tears from falling.
Heath sighed and walked towards her until he was standing opposite her, "Charlie, you can talk to me." He suggested, cocking an eyebrow up at her.
She nodded timidly. "I know I can Heath."
"She doesn't mean it." he said reassuringly, jilting his head back out of the doorway where Ruby had exited a few minutes prior.
Charlie let out an exhausted laugh and tilted her head back up to the ceiling. "She seems pretty sure to me." She said, bringing her eyes back down to meet Heaths. She shook her head at him and let a tear fall as Heath held out his arms to her, letting her fall into them.
"You will come out of this Buckton." He said, squeezing her gently, he pulled back as he noticed her freeze slightly in his arms "What?" he asked as he saw a small smile flicker across her face, yet she didn't seem to be looking at him, she was remembering a moment her and Brax had, Heath's words had brought a memory hurtling towards her,
The room they were in was dark with logs as walls and cottage quaint furniture throughout, the air was filled with a mixture of angst and passion darting between them as they stood opposite each other,
"We will come out of this Charlie." Brax said softly, his head tilting towards her as his large hand enveloped hers, his thumb gently caressing the top of her hand before tugging her towards him softly, "And no matter what you and me should be together." He said, a smile adorning his cheeks as Charlie bit her lip before allowing herself to fall into his arms, their lips brushing past each other,
"I don't hate anything about us and I love you."
His words echoed in her head as she got torn back to reality, she shook her head at Heath, "Nothing I'm-I'm fine." She lied, almost letting out a sigh of relief as Heath nodded and squeezed her hands before leaving her standing alone.
Day 4 Without Brax
9 am
Ruby sighed as she looked over at Charlie, who had the cereal box in her hand and a bowl on the side, but couldn't pour it. She'd lost her appetite. "I'm sorry for what I said to you. I was out of line and you didn't deserve it." Ruby spoke, her eyes following Charlie as she eased herself into the couch, basically collapsing in it.
Charlie nodded and rubbed her palms over her tired eyes before tilting her head back onto the arm of the sofa. "You were right though weren't you?" She said smiling faintly over at Ruby who stood from her chair and looked over at her mum. She looked broken, everyday since she had come back to the bay, she looked more and more torn apart.
"I'm always right." She giggled as she knelt down in front of Charlie, tucking some limp strands of hair behind her ears. "But I won't stop you from going back if you want to." She offered up, watching as Charlie slowly opened her eyes and turned towards her.
"I don't want to." Charlie admitted. "I always use it as something to distract me from everything else, and now I don't have that I guess I'm just struggling with all of the problems there are." Charlie said weakly, her hands picking at the cushions aimlessly, she frowned as she looked back up at Ruby who smiled at her hands playing with the cushion. "What?" Charlie asked.
"Brax does that, it's funny you've both picked up little mannerisms from each other," Ruby chuckled, her smile falling as Charlie nodded silently and pushed the cushion over to the opposite side of the couch, although her eyes still trained on it.
Charlie giggled slightly as she thought about him, "He does the weirdest of things, he thinks no one notices but he does, like when he leans back with his hands on a surface and his head drops to his chest, that's when he composes himself to stop himself telling someone how he feels." She nodded, smiling faintly at Rubes who was listening intently, silently willing Brax to walk back through the door. "And the twisting the ring on his finger-that's out of nerves or when he's upset." Charlie said, earning a nod and a chuckle from Ruby, "And then he'll pinch the bridge of his nose when he's annoyed or frustrated" Charlie continued, rolling her eyes as Ruby laughed more at the sheer amount she knew about all things Brax.
"And sweeping the table?" Ruby asked, throwing Charlie a mock accusing look for forgetting that one,
Charlie raised her eyebrows, "What getting rid of the imaginary dust? That's to distract himself from everything going on around him that he doesn't want to think about." She said, her eyes darting downwards towards her bump, her mind instinctively wondering if he was doing that now, whether he was thinking about her or whether he was trying to forget her. Ruby noticed as Charlie's eyes welled up and reached her hand out to place it over her mums.
"You need to stop beating yourself up about this mum, it's stressing you out." She said, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
Charlie shook her head and bit her lip as her cheeks darkened and a tear ran down her cheek slowly. "How can I stop when I have no idea how I feel?" she asked, her voice quivering as she spoke, almost as if she was pleading for Ruby to give her an answer that made sense.
"Exactly, you don't know so stop worrying until you do." Ruby said softly, leaning forward and hugging her mum, letting Charlie bury her head in her shoulder and letting her soft tears dampen her shoulder.
I know that was sad but have no fear I do have good things in store, (And of course Brax isn't gone for good!). I hope this Chapter didn't seem too broken up, I just didn't want to spend ages on each day and have loads of Chapters with no Brax in the story,
Please review! :D
I'll try not to take so long updating next time! (And I'll try and update Lost then Found soon!) x