~ Chapter 10 ~

After watching over her little sister for three days without the dark haired girl waking up, Loki disappeared without a trace.

No one in the center knew where – or even when – Loki had gone. Neither did Victor Doom know where his only friend had gone. When Thor had faced the man, his eyes had been haunted by the knowledge that Loki had left, and probably forever.

It tore at her heart that her precious sister was most likely gone forever from her life now. Thor clutched the small but worn leather book in her hand. Her only clue to the sister she had failed to protect.

- Flashback -

"This is what you wanted." Doom held forward the black leather book, Loki's diary, to the golden woman. Her hair shimmering in the sun light.

"You are not going to look for her?" Thor asked as Doom turned around to leave without a single more word.

Tired eyes, framed by dark circles from sleepless nights, focused on her. "Even if I did, there's nothing I could do to make her come back."

"Don't you love her?"

"I do love her, but not as much as she loves you. I could be what she needs, but not what she wants."

"Still... that's not reason to forget her."

"Don't get me wrong. Even now, her image is burned into my mind. I will never forget her... probably till my death. But to bring her back now would be far crueler than leaving her alone. She left for a reason and I will respect it. That's why... please find her."

For two whole days she had read through the diary. The diary didn't contain day to day entries, more like only when something important or some need to ramble occured in Loki's life. Entries that were days, weeks, even months apart all conected non-stop until she had come to the final entry. It was like she had been privy to a painful confession.

Among all the entries about her rejected life in their family was a long thread of love. The first stumbling fear and confusion for something Loki hadn't wanted to admit. Fear of being different. Of being a freak.

Then slowly, through their daily life together, the feeling had changed until a double page with only a single line written.

I love you, dear sister.

The lower page had been slightly stiff in small spots, and it had taken Thor a moment to realize it was the traces left behind by tears.

Loki had cried. Cried her confession into a diary that was meant to never see the light of another day again. However, the writting had been perfect. Flawless and flowing on the page like it contained no doubt or question. Five simple words that refelcted her heart.

After that the entries came further apart and it all flowed together, until the day Thor had brought Eric with her home. By the time she came to the end, Thor's eyes were so numb by her tears that the words blurred together. She could only see random things that echoed in her mind long after she closed it.

'Please believe me. I have nothing more to lose. Just kill me. I wanted to die. What are you hiding? I curse our blood. Good bye. I wish I were never born. You are my last hope. I never lied to you. I love you.'

It felt like Loki's voice whispered the words to her, bringing Thor's tears back. The earnestness. The desperation. The disgust. The finality.

An end Thor refused to accept.

The sun went hiding behind one of the clouds briefly before it came out again. The light reflected on the short cut blond hair as blue eyes looked up at the address sign on the corner before they looked around and finally back down on the piece of paper in her hand.

Three years.

It had been three years since the nightmarish week happened. When everything disappeared. People and secrets. Three years that Thor had been looking for her little sister.

But in reality, it had only been two and a half. Because after the first two months passed by and the need of just finding Loki and bringing her back faded, it left Thor confused and made her question herself. What did Loki mean to her? What did they have left? Was there any meaning? What was she prepared to do? Where was she going? Is there any meaning? Why?

She began to question everything around her, even herself. She was angry and scared. She lashed out on everyone around her that even said something half-wrong.

In the end, after half a year of revising her whole life and what she wanted, Thor more or less said good bye to her parents while giving them the finger before leaving. Even after they had been told Loki was alive, something they hadn't even asked to know about, they didn't make any effort in finding their youngest girl. It was then Thor could see the thin charade they had. To them, as long as they had Thor then they didn't need anyone else. Everyone around her was like that. They didn't care, they didn't ask. They just accepted and expected the best.

Everyone but Victor Doom who had packed up and left their town shortly after Loki's disappearance. He gave Thor his number in case she needed anything in the future.

Not being able to accept that, she left home to find the one person who did matter.

Which brought her here, New York, a little less than two and a half year later. In exchange for free traveling, Thor worked freelance for a newspaper. That way, Thor had covered half the globe in her search, and at the same time coming across news for the public that had earned her some journalist price which she had never accepted.

She didn't have an address, only a cellphone and e-mail that kept her connected to her job.

But her job also had perks. She had ties to people who could get information, and one of them had come through about a woman matching Loki's description with some slight differences.

Thor walked to the next corner to check on the number, finding it was the one she wanted. There were three gates on the side, each with a different letter behind the number to give all apartments a more specific address.

The letter wasn't written and it left Thor in a situation as she didn't know which one to pick. She looked around to see if anyone could help her, but found no one close enough.

With a heavy sigh, Thor was about to give up when one of the gates opened and she walked closer in order to ask for help.

However, her steps came up short as she faced the other woman with a stunned face.

Three years felt all of a sudden more longer than it should. They were no longer the little girls who used to go trick-or-treating. Gone were the innocence they once had.

And left was two grown women who hadn't been able to forget each other.

Thor's face relaxed into tender smile as she took in the scared face of her sister, seemingly ready to run again.

Without a word Thor reached into her purse and took out Loki's diary, even more worn now from continuing reading over the years. Only looking away so that she could flip open the red bookmark attached to one of the pages. She held it up for Loki to read.

Bellow 'I love you, dear sister' was something new written, across the dried up tear patches.

Forever and ever, my Lottie, I love you.

The End