I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated! School and life and stuff got in the way and I haven't had any time!
OKAY, so I know a lot of you don't like Justin, but I promise they will eventually break up and Leddie WILL get together! So just hold on for a few more chapters, okay? :) & I know many of you didn't like the last chapter and you probably won't like this one either because it's really... blegh maybe... but it'll get better soon!
Btw is anyone else as excited as I am for the winter break to FINALLY come?! 1 more week left!
Summary: The day of Loren and Justin's long awaited date finally came. When Justin came to pick Loren up, he admitted to how beautiful he thought she looked. They went to a nice restaurant and when they couldn't decide on a movie, they changed their plans. They ended up going for a walk at Venice Beach where Justin kissed Loren. He then drove her home and walked her to the door telling her he hoped they could do it again.
Eddies whole world came crashing down around him. That ray of light that was his mother, gone. His happiness, snatched from him. Life was a thief. He still couldn't apprehend it. It just wasn't fair. Where was this so-called justice everyone always talked about? Clearly not on his side. Life was cruel. It was punishing him for something, but he didn't understand what. This all felt like a terrifying nightmare. A nightmare he couldn't wait to wake up from. It was just too painful. He couldn't bear it. He felt like he was drowning in a sea of grief, and he just couldn't save himself from it.
He shut himself out from the rest of the world. His career? Forgotten. Friends? Abandoned. Even his father. He loathed the way he was acting, but the thought of being around other people, was just so agonizing. He stayed holed up in that apartment of his. Everything to him was still unclear, his whole life was a blur. Every now and then, he would find himself picking up the closest thing next to him and chucking it against a wall. It happened every time the thoughts of him being orphaned came seeping into his mind. He'd smashed a lot of glass. Broken valuables. Gotten rid of anything that reminded him of her. It was just so surreal. How could someone so amazing be gone, in the blink of an eye?
Eddie lost track of time. Hours became days. Days folded into weeks. Weeks transformed to months. Nothing mattered. No one mattered. His mother was gone. She promised she would never leave, and she had. Eddie knew he couldn't blame her. He knew she would never willingly abandon him. He just missed her so, so much. Missed hearing her laugh. Seeing her smiling. Hugging her. Telling her he loved her. How does one deal with the loss of a mother? Eddies solution was simple; drink the pain away. He couldn't think of anything else. Any time he was sober, he remembered her. She found her way back into his head, and he couldn't bear it. It was too much for him. He didn't even care that he woke up with hangovers every day. Focusing on the pain of that was so much less antagonizing than thinking of his mother.
Oh god. How had it happened? If he ever found the person who did it, he would murder them with his bare hands. They hadn't even stopped to help. The coward had run away. Anyone who could live with themselves after having committed such a horrendous crime just didn't deserve to live. In his mind anyway.
He knew that he ought to go check on his father. It must have been more difficult for him. He lost his soulmate, his lover, his everything. He knew that he was being dragged through hell and back. But he couldn't get himself to do it. He couldn't find the strength to go see him. He couldn't handle it. He knew his father would be heartbroken. The thought of seeing his father going through so much pain? He didn't think he could bear it. It would kill him. They didn't deserve this. They weren't perfect, but they were good people.
He took another swig from the bottle. Screw it, he thought as he began the daily routine of erasing the pain from his mind. He stood up and started pacing around the room. He went over to the piano bench and sat down. He folded his arms and buried his face in the crook of his elbows. He felt a single tear escape his watering eyes and trickle down his red cheeks. He was so angry, so bitter. He lifted his head and glanced around the room. He saw the smashed glass that was littering around the room. The walls caved in where he had punched it out of rage. Wrappers and empty paper cups scattered all over the ground. The place looked like a dump, but he couldn't care less. He looked back at his piano and right on top he saw a picture of him and his mother sitting in a frame. The picture triggered the painful memories he worked so hard to forget, and without even thinking he pushed everything off forcefully. Papers filled with lyrics flew around the room, picture frames shattered as they hit the floor. He attempted to stand up, but in doing so ended up collapsing to the ground. He looked at the papers that had fallen around him and slowly started picking them up. He didn't know why, but he just did.
As he was doing so, he came across a small paper that looked like they had been torn from a notebook. He held it for a second as his eyes scanned it, searching for an indication of what it was. He knew it wasn't his because his notebook had larger paper. As he read it, realization hit. It was the paper he had found when he had gone up to his spot to think before the premier. Then, he remembered the girl. The beautiful girl with the beautiful eyes. The one who had written these amazing lyrics. But then he remembered how excited he had been to tell his parents. As far as he was concerned this girl reminded him if his mom. He took the paper and ripped it up into little shreds. He didn't even hesitate to do so. He didn't want anything that reminded him of his mother. That just meant more pain. As he was doing so, he heard a knock on the door. He thought it was probably just his doorman checking up on him after hearing all those crashing sounds. He decided to ignore it and go lie down. But the aggravating knocking just wouldn't stop.
"Whoever you are, go away!" he yelled at the intruder angrily from his position on the couch.
"Eddie man, open up!" yelled his friend Tyler Rorke.
"Come on, mate. It's been months since you've spoken to anyone, open up!" added Ian.
Eddie sat up and clenched his fists. He stomped over to the door and opened the door furiously. He faced his friends, the irritation and anger clear on his face. He stared at them coldly before saying, "I said go. Leave me alone. I don't want anyone checking up on me."
"We're not here to check up on you. Now go get cleaned up. We're going out to see your Dad," replied Ian. At the mention of his dad, Eddie felt his heart drop to his stomach. He looked desperately from Tyler to Ian, pleading with his eyes for them to leave him alone. Thinking of his dad broke his heart, and brought back the painful thoughts of how he was neglecting him. Ian and Tyler knew they were getting through to him. They stepped around him and walked into the penthouse. He turned around to face them, closing the door. He saw them looking around to examine the place and cringe in disgust.
"Um ... Uh, why don't you shower and get changed while we call a cleaning lady to come clean this place?" offered Tyler. Eddie looked at him and smirked before making his way up to the bathroom.
Forty five minutes later he was all cleaned up and showered. He walked downstairs and went to the kitchen to get some Advil. As he walked through to get to the kitchen, he realized that his place actually looked like a home again. That was pretty fast, he thought.
"Oh, good! You're ready. Let's go," Ian told him as he came back into the living room.
"Do we really have to do this?" Eddie asked.
"Yes. You have to go see Max. I can't believe you haven't seen him since the night you left the hospital," Tyler told him. "He's not in a really good place right now, and your shutting him out hasn't exactly helped you know."
Eddie sighed and held his head between his hands. He took a deep breath before replying, "I know. I regret it, but I just couldn't bear it. Let's go."
"He will be happy to see you, you know," Ian told him, giving him a half smile before they left the apartment.
Eddie walked out of his dad's apartment, feeling atrocious. His father really wasn't coping well with all of this, and it was partly his fault. He had abandoned his father instead of being there for him. He sat down on the stairs, waiting for Ian and Tyler to come back out. The look his father gave him when he walked into the apartment was so devastating. He hated himself for neglecting him for such a long time. He knew it was time he pulled it together. He had to be strong. For his dad. He propped his elbows up on his knees and buried his head in his hands.
"Ready to go, Ed?" Ian asked him as he came out of the apartment, Tyler trailing close behind.
"Yeah, I need a drink," Eddie stated.
"Alright, Rumor?" Tyler asked him.
"Yeah, sure whatever man. Let's just get out of here."
The three of the left Max's apartment building and headed to what was once their favourite restaurant. The second Eddie got out of the car, he was bombarded with paparazzi. He should have known that this would happen. After all, he had been hidden from the public eye for four months now. He covered his face and hurried inside. He plopped down on the bar stool and ordered a drink, while shielding his face from everyone else. Tyler and Ian went to find them a table to eat. The bartender handed him and Eddie grabbed it and took a big sip. Just as he was finishing his drink he heard a soft female voice say: "Hey Eddie." Eddie turned his head to see a blonde with piercing blue eyes staring at him expectantly.
"Who the hell are you?" Eddie asked roughly.
"You don't remember me?" she asked, confusion clear in her face.
Eddie stared at her for a second and shook his head before replying curtly, "No. Should I?"
"We were in a movie together, so I would say so." she responded as she sat down on the stool next to him.
"Okay. Well I don't. I'd like to be alone please," he told her.
She was clearly taken aback by his vulgar behaviour because she stopped answering for a second. Then, she took a deep breath before telling him, "I'm sorry for your loss."
"Sure you are," he scoffed. "Isn't everyone?"
"I know what you're going through, you know," she told him sympathetically.
"Oh, I'm sure. Is that the new line to get me to spill out my guts to you?" he scorned.
"Why would I want you to spill your guts to me? I'm not a paparazzi," Eddie looked doubtful. "Wow, you really have no memory of who I am. My name is Chloe Carter, we were in Senior Ditch Day together."
"Huh, you must not have been important enough for me to remember you. Still doesn't ring a bell," he told her bluntly.
"Ouch," she told him. "I'm serious though, I went through the same thing a couple of years ago."
"Oh yeah?" countered Eddie, looking up at her so their eyes met. "You lost your mother to a horrible car accident? And even four months later you still had a hard time believing she would leave you like that?"
"No, I lost both my parents. And even now, three years later I can't believe they're gone. So yes, I do know exactly what you're going through." she told him, averting his gaze.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Chloe. I didn't mean to be so rude. But it's just, it s-s-still hurts so much," Eddie whimpered.
Chloe put her hand on his shoulder, attempting to comfort him. "I know, I understand," she told him.
Eddie looked back at her, trying to search her face for any sign of deceit, but found none. Maybe she really is trying to help he thought to himself. He finished his drink and ordered another for each of them. He decided he would hear her out. Maybe she really could help him through this.
I'm sorry this wasn't the happiest of chapters. They will get better soon, and Loren and Eddie will meet soon :)
Review Please :)