As soon as they got back home, Renesmee went straight to her computer. Stomach churning with shame as she did it, she pulled up the dating advice websites that she'd spent most of the last few months on and began to browse them for new material.

How To Tell If He Likes You.

Reading A Guy's Body Language.

Is He Cheating?

Nothing. Nothing useful, as per usual. The problem was, websites that advised you on dealing with boys didn't tend to have any specific pages on why a guy who had imprinted on you and was supposed to love you forever was now ignoring you.

Sometimes, Renesmee really really hated that for her just about everything was different. As a kid she remembered her family telling her how special and unique she was and the way it made her sort of glow somewhere inside, and feel very lucky and privileged. She remembered how Jacob Black used to spend whole days with her, just playing with her and watching her, always with so much love in his eyes it made her feel she really must be as special as everyone said. She remembered meeting other children in the park sometimes and feeling sorry for them because their lives didn't have the magic hers did.

And now? Everything had changed. Renesmee's family didn't seem as magical to her as they used to. They were too perfect; they did everything for her. She wanted to be able to struggle for herself sometimes. She wanted to have to save up for things she really liked. She wanted to need to get a job. She wanted to deal with the world for herself once in a while, instead of her family doing it for.

Jacob Black didn't look at her with love in his eyes anymore. He looked down at the ground, always, when he saw her, and bit his lip as if he didn't know what to do or say. Half the time he seemed to avoid her. And to Renesmee it made no sense.

She didn't feel sorry for other children anymore either. They all had exciting, independent lives separate from their parents. They went to high school and learnt things and made friends with each other. Renesmee, because she couldn't let anyone know about her accelerated aging, stayed home and learnt things from her family and they all said how talented she was. But she didn't feel talented. Next to them she was useless. Next to them she was weak, clumsy, stupid, and ugly. Vampires did everything better. And she didn't make friends. She didn't talk to humans. Nahuel was the only friend she had. Renesmee was lonely. She would have loved a female friend she could confide her boy troubles to. That was what girls always did in the romance novels Renesmee occasionally read; they comforted each other about boys and got each other through the hard times. But Renesmee was completely alone. Like a useless precious doll, she lived in the cage her family provided her with and didn't waste time moving or doing anything at all contrary to their expectations.

What she really hated was how angry she felt. None of this was her family's fault, or even Jacob's fault. It was just the circumstances. It was just her 'specialness' that was making her life Hell.

According to Nahuel she would stop aging at about twenty. Maybe then things would get better. It might be easier for her to appear in public anyway.

Renesmee switched off the computer and decided to go for a walk. But just as she was about to leave the door, Rosalie spotted her.

"Where are you going, Nessie?" she asked anxiously. Rosalie's protectiveness could sometimes get a bit smothering.

"Out."

"Jacob! Will you go with her?"

"Uh, sure." Jacob appeared looking ruffled, as if he'd been running. Renesmee wondered whether to be happy about this situation or dismayed. "Hey Nessie." He handed her a coat and they stepped outside. "How's life?"

"It's o.k." she lied. A part of her longed to show him her thoughts by pressing their foreheads together. But a greater part didn't want him to know the way he was making her feel right now. "What about you?"

"Fantastic." It came out bitingly sarcastic.

"Oh." Renesmee began to walk faster. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, really. It's just life, you know."

For a while the two of them were silent. Renesmee desperately tried to think of something to talk about. It wasn't like she could tell Jacob anything about herself. He knew it all already. It wasn't like they could discuss the changes in the lives of others. The people they knew's lives never changed. She wondered about starting a conversation about politics, or philosophy, but suspected Jacob wouldn't be interested.

It was as she was trying to think of something else that Jacob's strong arms suddenly drew her to him. For a moment he stared down into her eyes and Renesmee couldn't seem to breathe. His gorgeous face was all that swam in her vision, and it seemed to move closer. Renesmee gasped and closed her eyes. Was this the moment she'd been waiting for? Was he finally going to kiss her?

Instead, though, Jacob released her and carried on walking. And as Renesmee stumbled after him, she wondered what it was she'd done so wrong.