After a long, dreamless sleep, Ukitake finally woke up. Despite the fact that he had just slept about fifteen hours, he was exhausted. His face still felt wet from all the crying and his eyes were red and puffy. When the blurriness in his vision finally disappeared, he saw he had fallen asleep on the hard, cold floor. Kyouraku had been called away by Nanao to catch up on some paperwork, which had briefly woken the pale sleeping captain, but he fell back asleep in a matter of seconds. He sat up, yawned and rubbed his eyes with both hands. He knew that soon his condition would significantly worsen, to such a point he'd be bedridden for a long, difficult time. Unohana had told him he was in for long periods of delirious sleep-like moments, high fevers, night chills, and of course, the usual: the painful coughing up of blood. He didn't know if he'd make it through this next sickness episode. But he was ready now. Ready to move on, ready to say goodbye, to leave; even though he didn't know where he would be going. A scary thought, for sure, but he was a brave man and was going to just face it when the moment came.
At the time, getting out of bed seemed like the most reasonable thing to do. To get up, out, and enjoy the cool, fresh air for what could be the last time. To take a walk around Seireitei and watch the young, new Shinigami become strong, moment he wouldn't get to witness, he said to himself. Maybe even visit the Rukongai to help some of the souls over there find their dead friends and family members in the vast area where they had lost them. It wouldn't be the first time he had done that. Then, if possible, he could even go to the real world and have a chat with Urahara and Yoruichi, as well as the former captain Isshin, the latter's son and his son's friends. Of course, some of them would be suspicious of his sudden and purposeless appearance, whereas others would just consider it a casual visit. He knew that the ones who would be suspicious would probably not question him about it. They would just sit there quietly, a silent goodbye. Because there wasn't anything to be said, and the talk would just make things uncomfortable and somewhat depressing. The ones who would think of his appearance as a casual visit would, no doubt about it, be quite shocked when the news would get to them, but they didn't know him all that well, Ukitake figured, so they wouldn't have too much of a hard time getting over it.
It had been more than a month. Every day had been a little worse than the previous one. It had come to the point Ukitake had to lie in his bed all night, all day and every day. There hadn't been a day Kyouraku had not been by his side. He ate, slept, did his paperwork; all in Ukitake's room, by his bedside. He only left to go to the bathroom or to go buy more sake. Even when someone else was there to take care of him, Kyouraku stayed, drifting off to his much needed sleep. And everyone knew, including the constantly half-asleep-half-unconscious and delirious Ukitake, that he was drinking much more than before. And much, much more than was healthy for anyone to bear. But no one said anything to him about it, it would be meaningless. There wasn't anything else Kyouraku could do at the time besides watching over his friend, sleeping, and drinking as much as he could to keep the sorrow deep inside. He didn't even show up to the captains' meetings anymore. Neither of them did. When Ukitake would go, so would Kyouraku, it seemed. Everyone was worried about them, the both of them. And sometimes Kyouraku was even the most worrisome, the way he was acting. Which was ironic considering he wasn't the one who was actually on the verge of dying. Even though he had promised to himself he would be strong for his friend, Kyouraku seemed to be breaking his promise. There was just no way he could be strong at a moment like this. Nobody could expect any form of strength from either one of them.
As time passed, Kyouraku had lessened the time he spent over at the 13th squad head quarters, even with Ukitake getting worse instead of better. Nanao, whom was currently the one spending the most time with her captain was troubled by Kyouraku's timing. It confused her that just when his best friend's condition was getting even worse, her captain pulled away. All he did now was drink and sleep, in his own head quarters, isolated and alone, which seemed so much worse. Maybe she had overestimated her captain's emotional strength when it came to Ukitake. Maybe he had pulled away because he could no longer stand to see his friend in pain.
*-*-*-*-*
Nanao hurried to the eight squad head quarters. "How am I supposed to notify him of something like this?" she thought, worried about her captain. "Those men have been best friends for more than two thousand years! Although Kyouraku-taichou has known this moment would come for a very long time, I'm not sure if he's entirely ready for this." She sighed. "Well, I guess that's one of the inconveniences of being immortal: making such good friendship..." Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed her steps had accelerated quite a lot. She frowned, her feet were on autopilot, it wasn't her walking that fast. Her hands clamped the folders she was holding and she managed to stop her compulsion, drastically slowing down her steps. "He won't be the same… after this; he will not be the same." She sighed and continued to her destination. Once standing in front of her captain's door, she felt empathy for her soon-to-be "friend widow" captain and knocked softly. No answer. She knocked again, this time a little harder and more times. Still no answer. "Kyouraku-taichou!" She yelled. It seemed as if no one were there, so Nanao opened the door. Kyouraku was just sitting on his desk, doing paperwork. He never did paperwork. Despite the fact that Nanao was surprised, and certain her captain had heard her before, she tried to act like she normally did around him and said: "Are you deaf? I knocked four times and I yelled, loudly! You're drunk or distracted thinking about girls again, aren't you?" Kyouraku slowly turned his head to look at Nanao, then turned his head back and continued doing his paperwork, the disturbing look on his face gave him away. Nanao understood, and, out of respect, kneeled with one fist on the ground.
He already knew, he had already been informed of the message he had most feared to hear in his life. "It's time" After all, maybe he, too, was not as prepared as he hoped he would be. Just like it had turned out Ukitake wasn't prepared either. They had both spent too much time together for it to be anything less than devastating. But, this thing Shunsui was doing right now? Just pretending it was not true as if somehow if he would act as if this wasn't, it would go away? What was that? Denial. No more than plain stupidity. And what would that be good for? It would only prevent him from spending time with his dying friend. With his very best friend, whom was running out of time, fast. Nanao bowed her head a little more and asked: "Permission to speak." Kyouraku took his eyes off his paperwork, to which he wasn't really paying attention, and nodded. Ise rose her head and asked, worried and a little angry: "Why aren't you with him?!" Shunsui's eyes widened, he got tears in his eyes and stared at the floor. Why wasn't he with him? He wasn't even that sure about that. Nanao knew.
"I don't know." He whispered, with his eyes pierced together and his hands tightly grabbing his kimono. "I-I don't know" he repeated, letting some tears fall. The scene was heartbreaking. Nanao had no idea the amount of suffering her captain was going through, but she knew no one in Seiretei had or would ever go through the same thing.
"You're not ready." She said supportively. Her captain reacted vaguely. "You cannot say goodbye to somebody like him. It's too hard for you. You sincerely thought you would be able to handle this, but there isn't anyone who could. I honestly have no idea the point to which this is unbearable, but, Taichou, you have to go. How will you be able to live with yourself of you don't g-" She was interrupted.
"How will I be able to live with myself if I do? If I go, and… talk to him for the last time…? Like you said, I cannot say goodbye to him." Shunsui said hopelessly. "Don't be so selfish! You have, you need to do it. What about him? What about Ukitake-taichou? What if he dies with no one by his side? Have you thought about that? I…I command you to go right now!" Realizing she had just given an order her captain, Nanao rapidly covered her lips with one hand. Her captain just looked at her and after a while, his face expression changed to something Nanao was a little bit more used to: he stood up and gave her a sympathetic smile. She carefully took her hand off her lips as Shunsui walked out of the room.
Kyouraku walked, slowly. He could very easily use shunpo, arrive there faster, but he decided to walk and get ready, prepare what he was going to do and say. After about twenty minutes of extreme slow walking, Kyouraku finally arrived at the fourth squad head quarters. Standing in front of the door, he realized he had not come up with anything to say. Despite of this, he opened the door, and then walked in.
Okay, it's been a while since I updated this. Mostly because the only outcome I can think of is... well, mah dear captain dying, and nobody wants that...