Star Rim
Part I
.
Five years later...
Jim stared out at the tropical, clear and crisp blue of the ocean, equally blue eyes blinking absently.
Ever since the fissure at the bottom of the Pacific ocean, people's fascination with the Pacific had gone down to zero. Possibly even in the negatives. No one wanted to come anywhere close to the ocean. Suddenly everyone wanted to live in land-locked areas of the states; for once Kansas was a hot-spot. Even Iowa was getting expensive, and it was only because of Winona's past courageous events that she was allowed to stay in such a privileged area.
Where acres and acres used to be reserved for corn and cows, now it was used for frightened people. It was only one of the reasons why rations were getting stricter. Not that Jim minded much, as there were a lot of nutrients in coconuts and there was definitely those in abundance here. Odd how poor people now lived on the once out-of-reach coasts while the rich cowered at their inland ranches.
While Jim had been stationed in Alaska, he'd wished he could have been stationed at Pearl Harbor. Despite Hawai'i being a seemingly lost cause, they still had some defenses and an old Mock 1 Jaegers that had held its own against two Kaijus.
People had thought the island chain would be the first to go, but it seemed that Kaiju went for the heaviest populated areas. With the small state not holding that much population, it still held strategic opportunity so it was given a Jaeger. Which apparently were gone now since the last attack, if Jim could still read and hear correctly.
"God dammit," he said in exasperation as he turned away from his PADD. He had the strongest desire to throw it in the ocean, but contended himself with taking another gulp of whatever burning whiskey he'd looted from the empty stores. With both the swear and drink, Jim sighed with longing not for his brother, but for his best friend. Bones had been positioned at Alaska before him, and was not only in charge of making sure him and Sam were both mentally and physically capable at all times, he was the scientist there. Liked to pull apart the beasts in a way not dissimilar to Jim's job. Only Bones was interested in learning from them, not simply killing them and putting their bones in a museum or on the black market.
For all Jim knew, Bones was still complaining about the cold in Alaska. Not a lot of communication with the real world here on the islands. Paradise, indeed. Jim felt isolated both in body (the closest other civilization being 2,000 miles of sea away) and in head (no brother there to annoy him, no best friend to similarly nag him, no admiral to bitch or Scotty to laugh). Great Kaiju shit, Jim really missed everyone.
The blond wasn't especially proud of himself at the moment. Where all he owned to his name was a small garden, a shack in all purposes, a nearly broken down bike, this screen-cracked PADD and a private beach. Nearly everyone had evacuated the islands since the destruction of the last Jaeger, which occurred today. It seemed that not even white sand beaches and crystal clear water were worth your life. Whatever happened to the phrase of how people would kill to live here?
But instead here was Jim, drinking yet again as he watched plane after plane disappear into the distance, never to come back. It was in these years that Jim had decided that Sam had definitely held all the self-preservation. Else Jim would be on one of those planes.
And in these five years Jim had set himself aside to mediatate and deal with Sam's death. He needed time; just like his Mother had and still did. But Jim knew he was nearly fit for duty, and he would go back. He could handle himself now. Just in time for the end of days- Jimmy boy and his great timing strikes again.
Blinking, Jim decided that no he wasn't hallucinating, and that something was definitely coming closer. And then landing at the opposite end of his beach. Now two people were approaching, and Jim refused the desire to bolt into the ocean. Find that fissure- go into another world. What's the worse that could happen?
"Mr. Kirk."
"Aloha, Pike."
Jim noted the man now had significant streaks of grey in his hair, and that he had a new habit of raising an eyebrow when he was clearly interested in the beach bum that was one James Tiberius Kirk.
"I'm here to take you back. We're putting one last ditch-effort before everything is gone. They're planning planet evacuation if something isn't done about the Kaijus soon."
Jim had to look away, if only because he couldn't talk about humanity being cowardly when he had ran away from responsibility. Despite his burning need to defend human's cradle, he couldn't stop people from taking the easy way out.
"Starfleet is only commissioning the Jaegers long enough to protect the starship bases inland. But we don't have that luxury of time to wait for those ships to be built from recent intel. There's still billions of people here that won't have the opportunity to leave unless we do something," Chris continued to say.
Jim watched in naked fascination as Chris took off his boots and socks; he wiggled his toes in the sand before sitting down aside Jim. He rolled up his pants and dug his feet into the warm, white sand. The waves licked lazily up, but never high enough to touch either man's feet.
"Why are you even talking to me," Jim said with a broken laugh before taking another drink from the bottle. He offered it to Chris, but his mentor only glared at it briefly before turning back to the ocean.
"This is no place for you, Jim. Waiting here, hoping for a Kaiju to rumble along and kill you and whatever pile of palm fawns you call a home."
"I don't need to listen to you," Jim said venomously as he stood. He decided next time he should be wearing more than shorts and carrying only a half-broken PADD and a half-drunk bottle of booze. It also didn't help that the sand didn't give a firm enough footing; he swayed to find his balance.
"Starfleet needs you, Jim. Your father and you both piloted solo and survived. You saved millions of lives, and I know you don't want to let this planet go. You are destined for greatness, and it would be much more true to your character to die in the Enterprise than in paradise," Chris said as he stood as well, although much more gracefully. He dusted off his behind before grabbing his boots, turning and leaving.
"You're not my Father," Jim stated, if only for him to hear. Then he blinked as he played back Pike's statement again. "You fixed her?"
Chris didn't even fault in his steps or answer his question; after watching a few of his strides, Jim sighed and followed.
.
Despite the early morning fog that seemed to coat San Fransisco like a security blanket, Spock could see the helicopter coming closer and finally landing. He walked forward at a clipped and stiff pace, the PADD in his hand gripped tight as he was finally going to meet James Kirk in person. The person who would be taking over the Enterprise, and who he'd been researching seemingly nonstop for the past week since the Admiral's admittance.
When the lithe body jumped out, Spock couldn't help but stiffen.
Spock's face remained impassive despite the huge smile the blond human was projecting at him.
This was to be his future partner - he would have none of it.
'He is not what I thought he would be,' he said in Vulcan to Chris, who only had time to smile before Jim's voice interrupted Spock's thoughts.
'I'm guessing it's for the better,' the blond said with a clearly cocky grin as he took the umbrella. When his cooler fingers brushed against Spocks, the dark-haired alien jerked his hand back. He resisted the urge to furrow his eyebrows as Jim waggled his at him.
"Jim, this is Spock. He will explain himself," Chris said, slipping back into standard, but not without giving Spock a hard look.
"Captain Kirk-"
"Jim, please. I haven't captained a Jaeger in five years."
"Regardless, you will soon be renewing the experience. I have personally picked a list of candidates for your fellow captain pilot."
"I thought you would be captaining with me?"
"Why is that?"
"Well, our connection right now? Pretty heavy," Jim said with a smirk.
Pine narrowed his eyes first at Jim, and then at Spock, who stiffened.
"Captain Pike requested my skills, but I declined. You and I are not compatible."
"And they say Vulcans can't lie-"
"Captain Kirk," Spock interrupted, "This is my personal choice. You have absolutely no valued input into the matter."
If Spock saw the human visibly attempt to shrink in on himself, he said nothing of it. In truth, he had questions he wanted to ask. Most were about where he'd been after such a successful record; emotional transference side effects (as Jim and his Mother were two of only three people to experience their partners' deaths and survive; he was one of two who had then continued to pilot); even about how he looked far too fair in appearance and weight to pilot a Jaeger. Additionally, the human had the more vibrant eyes Spock had yet to see in the human race.
"Holy shit if it isn't- Bones!" the human suddenly exclaimed, and Spock resisted the urge to look around in haste to find whatever skeletal remains the blond was exclaiming about.
Yet a human that Spock unfortunately recognized turned away from whatever Kaiju remains he was wheeling around, eyes wide and face clearly showing feelings of shock and awe.
"Kid!" the older man exclaimed before rushing forward and bringing the blond into a hug that seemed to crush their chests and respiratory functions, causing them to gasp and clutch onto each other. An odd, self-destructive act that they seemed to find great pleasure in.
Spock came stiffly to their sides, while Pike now wore a slight smile.
"Where have you been?" Bones asked as he brought Jim away enough to see his smiling face.
"On an island. Drinking coconut milk and whiskey- you know me."
Bones rolled his eyes in clear exasperation, muttering something about how he hoped he didn't mix them, and the action of finally looking away from his friend's face made him catch sight of Spock.
"Spock," Bones said in clear distaste that had the Vulcan raise an eyebrow. "I hope you know that my research is going to prove yours is inefficient and unneeded."
"I believe, Doctor," Spock said.
Jim looked between the two of them and opened his mouth to ask where the sudden rivalry and probably soon-in-the-future dick-measuring had suddenly sprung up from. Of course, Chris had impeccable timing for these types of things.
"Gentlemen and Vulcan, let us at least get out of this fog and inside before it rains and we freeze to death."
Jim let out a bark of a laugh. Despite how it stretched his face to show aesthetically (based on human opinions) pleasing lines, it sounded rough and disgruntled. Spock did not like it.
"Yeah, well, if you hadn't taken me away from Hawai'i I wouldn't have that problem, now would I?"
"Of course you go to the middle of the fucking monster ocean," Bones said with a groan as he rubbed a hand over his face in clear agitation.
"Well, now I have my Doctor back, so-"
"And now I'm past doing failed psychological studies on your idiotic brain and turned to alien ones."
"No matter Spock here hates you so much. Vulcans like their privacy Bones."
"The Doctor is referring to his research in physically and mentally understanding the Kaiju," Spock provided.
"You still cut up the fuckers? I thought they would've bored you by now," Jim said, giving Spock the flash of a grin in thanks. Spock resisted the urge to incline his head in acceptance. He decided right then that he was in need of further meditation tonight.
"Says the man whose been drinking rum from coconuts for the past half decade..."
"I wouldn't do that to you! I ran out of the bourbon so I had to turn to whiskey, but-"
"I knew your brain hadn't gone along with everything else that night."
Spock couldn't stop his eyes from widening at the sight of Jim's body tensing entirely; it seemed every piece of sinew and muscle had suddenly come to life to stand at attention.
"As heartwarming as it is to see two friends reunite, Spock, please show James his Jaeger and quarters. We will meet you at the laboratory when you are finished."
"Affirmative, Admiral Pike," Spock said with a slight incline of his head before turning, ignoring how damp and unpleasant the fog made his skin feel. He noted the human had to jog to catch up, clearly finding precedence first in giving the Doctor another embrace before parting.
Spock was both unnerved and thankful of Jim's silence as they walked through the hangers and then to the main attraction.
"Oh, baby..." Jim said, drifting off.
Unknowing if it was a nickname for the machine before him, or simple a human saying, Spock remained silent. Yet he could not resist glancing over and seeing the expression on the man; he was not disappointed. His eyes were softer, his face seeming to suddenly lose ten years. Spock almost jumped at the sight of this man as a boy, looking up at the Jaegers with such hope like many planet-stuck youths.
"She's beautiful," Jim said before he cleared his throat, clearly embarrassed at his show of emotion.
"I have restored it, as well as enhanced its abilities, weapons and reaction speed."
"The Enterprise was the end prize when she first came out. Sam and I nearly creamed ourselves when we learned she was for us."
Spock again glanced back at the human, his eyes suddenly reflective enough to mirror the sheer white and glowing, bright blue of the double-reactor heart. If Spock was a romantic human, he would say that the slightly outlandish stars painted on the robot was reflected Jim's blue eyes. But they were physically too far for that to be possible.
"Since your personal dismissal of duty, the Enterprise had been given up. Captain Pike gave it to me three years ago; I have been captaining it with him for the past ten months after the extensive repairs were completed."
"What happened to Pike? Why can't he captain anymore? Wasn't he one of the original captains?"
Spock took a moment to blink in shock at the human's fast and correct conclusion. From his aptitude tests, it was clear the human was well into the genius level of humanity.
"Irrelevant to this conversation. What you must know is that it is in need of new captains, and you are to suffice. We do not have time to reach an adequate compatibility between us; Pike has chosen you and you now must chose your fellow captain."
Spock stiffened at the slight snicker from aside him before the question: "Ok, so tell me who attempted and failed to fly my girl? Chris I can see helping you, but any other? No way. You're just sour your Plan B didn't work out, and you're too stubborn to want me to captain with you. I'm way too volatile and human for you."
"You are quite apt at drawing conclusions from human condition," Spock found himself saying.
"I'm good at reading people," Jim said with a smile that didn't seem as brash and unfeeling as the others. Spock inexplicably felt his heart at his side tighten, as if his ribs were not doing a sufficient role at keeping it in place.
"So you and me, huh?" Jim asked as he turned away from the Enterprise to face Spock, looking up at him slightly as Spock did have two inches and a centimeter on the human. "You're really that against it?"
Spock resisted the urge to look away from Jim's bright blue eyes (not only like Kaiju blood, but the Enterprises' heart; Spock realized it was a fairer comparison [and then told himself to desist with the unneeded metaphors and also stop putting them in a hierarchical order of most fitting]) as they roved over Spocks' figure. They came to once again focus on his face. And then Spock did stiffen at the slightly shy, hesitant smile.
"Chris is hopeful that we will be compatible. Yet I have strong doubts, and I hold more confidence in my opinion."
One of Jim's thick eyebrows rose at the challenge. Spock took it as a silent order to explain.
"You were both headlong and reckless in your captaincy. It was your fellow captain who had reason and logic into his fighting. You are clearly one who breaks rules and regulations when you see fit in a false sense of immortality. You are an egotistical captain who allowed his desire to win cloud his judgement. You are not the correct match for either I or the Enterprise, as I have stated on multiple occasions previously."
Jim's smile fell slowly as Spock continued to talk, and as he finished, the sides of his mouth tipped down.
"And now I'm believing again that Vulcan's don't lie."
"It is illogical to tell falsities. If we were to become partners, honesty must be shared. As we are not, I am simply saying the truth to avoid misunderstandings."
"If I'm being honest, I'm feeling fatigued since I'm such a fragile, irrational human."
Spock only blinked, not knowing how to respond.
"If you'll show me to my room," Jim said with a wide smile that had Spock irrationally missing his previous one. It looked plastic; stiff and unnatural.
The two walked in silence, with Jim lagging behind Spock in a clear attempt to stem any social interaction. Spock would usually not be adverse to this, yet it allowed his head to get away from him. By the time they arrived at the door, Spock could not find it in himself to move away. Even after Jim took off his shirt and began flicking through old photographs, eyes dulling.
When Jim turned, he clearly started at the sight of Spock just standing there. The blond clearly wanted to cover up his scars from Alaska and his brother's death, but Spock knew the human did not want to show such weakness in front of him. He even pushed out his chest, like a primal call for challenge. Spock appreciated it, as it allowed him ample time to study the raised skin.
It was only Jim's sharp intake of breath that had Spock snapping back to reality. He took in the feel of Jim's scarred skin below his fingers, of the human looking up at him expectantly; his blue eyes impossibly brighter. Yes, it was better to relay them to the Enterprise's heart than those creatures' blood.
"Got the idea of fixing me up like the Enterprise?"
"Apologies, Captain," Spock said stiffly as he retracted his hands from the human's tanned skin. He felt confused, as his skin felt warmer, despite humans having a lower body temperature than Vulcans.
Forgetting to tell Jim that he'd be back in an hour to take him for training, Spock left.
He needed to get this illogical human out of his head if he was to adequately explain his research to Captain Pike and beat out Doctor McCoy.
.
Jim sighed not from exhaustion, but annoyance as he threw down the woman. She had been the twelfth contestant, and still no none was matched or mixing with him.
It was probbaly a little bit from the blond's stubborn insistance that he would bend for no-one but Spock. Despite what the Vulcan had said, he knew they were compatible. And yes, Jim did hate him a little now for the Vulcan's clear rejection of him and his worth, but he wanted him as his other captain. Jim knew they would make the strongest team. And Jim was nothing if not ambitious; and he knew how to get what he wanted.
When he looked up at Spock and Pike, he knew that he was close. Pike was clearly annoyed and Spock looked impassive as ever. Soon Pike would demand that this was clearly not working and force Spock on him-
And ah- there it was. With just one look, Spock nodded and handed over his PADD before walking down the few stairs. He took off his shoes, long-sleeve (and Jim so did not stare at the revealed skin) and took up a pole.
Jim was ready- or at least he thought he was, until he was flat on his back. He got up and tried again; this time it was Spock down.
They continued like this, without a word, but only blows of aggression at each other. It seemed that Spock was attempting the same strategy as Jim had previously been: being too bull-headed to actually try and work with the other person. And Jim was getting increasingly annoyed, because why was Spock so against him? They had the connection and Spock had nearly molested his skin in clear want-
Jim couldn't help the grunt as he fell. Despite the breath getting knocked out of him, his grasp on the pole held strong. The blond felt the sting of exersion in his body; they had been going at it for nearly an hour now and had yet to fulfill a smooth fighting style. The frustration at not immediately blending seemed to have grown until now, where they were just trying to whack each other as hard as they could. Or at least Jim was; Spock mostly just danced out of the way now that he'd gotten Jim into a mood.
"Stand, Captain."
"I am not your Captain," Jim exclaimed, not caring about his emotional outburst, before he leaped up and lunged at Spock. Gracefully, the man planted the pole and swung around it, avoiding Jim and throwing him enough off balance to get another point. If they were still counting points, that was. Yet knowing Spock he was keeping an impeccable record, and also taking every opportunity to point out Jim's flaws by exploiting it embarrassingly.
Jim felt his cheeks flush as another hushed whisper came from the crowed behind them. Pike still stood behind them, hands clasped behind his back and face giving away nothing anymore. Yet Jim guessed if his desired new pair were fighting as off kilter as they were right now, he could smell the problems as well. Pike clearly wanted them to work, Jim wanted this to work- why was Spock being so irrationally human about this? Didn't he want to save the world?
"You will if you prove yourself," Spock belatedly stated as he avoided Jim's blow, somehow managing to fit his body in tight enough to roll between Jim's legs. Jim would've been busy exclaiming that was such a little girl move, if he hadn't had to do evasive maneuvering to get away from Spock's sudden onslaught of attacks at his back.
'Because I do have everything to prove don't I?' Jim thought angrily. 'For my parents, for my brother, for humanity so it doesn't have to scurry away into space like intergalactic sea rats while the rest sink with the ship- and now this damn pointy eared jerk doesn't want anything to do with me-'
And of course, Spock managed to pin him down when he was thinking overwhelming thoughts. Jim groaned and hit his head against the mat, not making any sign of standing.
"That's enough," Pike said from behind. "Jim-"
"No, I've had enough, too," Jim said under his breath before he was walking away, leaving a slightly wide-eyed Spock and the other laughing captains behind.
.
Jim couldn't even muster enough energy to mutter angrily to himself as he watched Enterprise get worked on. Her heart was still that glowing blue that always made Jim's heart leap into his throat, and after talking with Scotty, he knew that she was now a hundred and ten percent, if not more. She was honesty beautiful, even if she was not the youngest Jaeger anymore.
"Hello, darlin'," said a voice behind him that had Jim sighing rather than smiling. Leave it to Bones to know exactly when he didn't want company.
Jim remained silent, and Bones seemed perfectly fine with that as he poured them both a generous amount of bourbon. Jim wordlessly took the offered cup and winced at the burning sensation.
"So..."
"You can just go out and say it, Bones."
"Never thought you'd be the type to go for pointy eared guys."
Jim made himself believe that it was because he hadn't drunken bourbon in nearly a day that the taste was what had him coughing. Even he couldn't make himself believe it.
"I mean, really, the UST during that session nearly made some faint. And just so you know, there's a betting pool now."
"It's the end of the world according to Spock's calculations, and people are betting on whether I'll get with the guy or not," Jim said with a sigh. "Not that it matters since it takes two and he's obviously not on board. For anything dealing with me, clearly."
They drank for some time and when Bones gave a couple more fingers worth to Jim, the blond sighed and finally gave in.
"I know we're compatible. I felt it the moment I saw him. And I'm ready, even after Sam, but he doesn't want me. And I can't force him."
"You're still Jim," Bones said venomously, causing Jim to blink and really look at his believed to be long-lost best friend. "You are still the man who captained a Jaeger solo. You know whose done that other than you? Only one. One other person in this entire program. Even your Father had to keep your Mother there for support until the last moment. And yeah, maybe you're rusty and maybe you left your brain and balls on that beach, but you need do the impossible kid. And convincing that stoic Vulcan to captain with you is definitely in that field of your expertise."
Jim smiled; he always could do well under pressure. With the clock ticking down till the end of Earth- that was incentive enough.
"You want to know why you weren't working with Spock? Because he was giving it all, and you weren't. Yeah, so he's not emotional and he has the tighest personality ever, like he's afraid if he lets go he'll doom us all with a radioactive blast. But he knows what you can give."
Jim was silent for a while, but he still couldn't meet Bone's eyes. Sighing, he looked back out into the Enterprise's heart. Had he really been holding back? Was he truly afraid, despite all the thoughts that he knew they would work together?
"I just think it's creepy that he knows all about me. He studied me and can tell me more about my record than I could. He expects everyone, especially me, to be some super-human. Not only is he a Jaeger Captain, he's the head of the research department-"
"Hey! I'm officially head!"
"-so yeah, I guess I was a little intimidated by him. But after this manly heart-to-heart talk featuring liquid courage, I feel rejuvenated all over again."
Jim finally glanced at Bones, only to see him scowl only a little. Suddenly it was like a breath of fresh air and Jim felt like slapping himself, and then beating the shit out of himself.
"If it helps, I think it's totally that Hobgoblin's fault. You're clearly ready and won't take anyone else; he should take a clue. Now buy me a new bottle before all the stores close. No more freeloading for you."
"No time. I could give something else to pay. A kiss, sweet dar-lin?"
"Doctor, Captain."
Jim was half-way through beginning to laugh at Bones' face, but at the sound of Spock's voice, he started coughing violently. It seemed his laughter transferred to Bones as he chuckled before taking mercy on the kid and slapping his back.
"I'll leave the idiot in your care," Jim heard Bones say to Spock before he disappeared from sight, taking with him the alcohol. Damn that southern gentleman.
"Captain," Spock said stiffly.
"Take a seat," Jim said with a sigh as he patted to where Bones had recently vacated.
Jim nearly gaped as Spock seemed to hesitate, brown eyes flicking anywhere but Jim, before he carefully sat down. Spock looked over and the blond had to resist from smiling as he mirrored Jim in hanging his legs over. Spock then clasped his hands in his lap and refused to look at anything else.
"You're missing the view, Spock," Jim said absently.
The blond blinked when the dark-haired man didn't look up at the Enterprise, but at Jim. He continued to look at him, and Jim resisted the urge to squirm. He felt like he was an equation that Spock was desperately trying to figure out.
"I need to apologize for my rash behavior," Jim found himself saying through only half-gritted teeth. "I-"
"Do not apologize for your emotional compromise. It is consistently found in humans," Spock interrupted.
Jim gave him a slight grin that had Spock unconsciously leaning forward.
"Can I ask for something Spock?"
"Affirmative."
"Why do you hate me so much? Why are you so against us working together?"
Jim watched those elegant eyebrows dip before turning back to the Enterprise. Spock was quiet for a good couple of minutes, no doubt making sure to articulate just how inadequate Jim was, before he spoke.
"Captain Pike and I were an adequate team. When he became incapacitated, I attempted to drift with Captain Uhura. We were compatible, but she did not know how to operate the Enterprise. You are the only captain alive who knows that machine; you were chosen out of necessity rather than merit. I believe that because we are so fundamentally different we will not drift together. There is also... the matter of your worth as a captain."
Spock paused, and Jim gave a nod to make him continue.
"Your parents' team along with you and your sibling; your family shows excellent achievement. You have expectations that you have yet to fulfill and I am... illogically disappointed that you do not strive harder. Why you did not personally come back to the Jaeger program, but that the Admiral had to go find you."
Jim gave a clear laugh that had Spock looking up in clear confusion.
"I haven't met your expectations yet? That's actually really motivational," Jim said, and Spock refused to believe his eyes were brighter than ever. It was simply the reflection like before. "And hey, I couldn't swim back to San Fran. I didn't have a boat neither!"
"Does that mean you tire of being still in the upcoming apocalypse?"
"Hey- I've been fighting this entire time! It's just been against myself rather than those damn Kaiju. Everyone needs time to mourn and reflect," Jim answered with another smile that had Spock's eyes and attention enraptured.
"If I am being perfectly honest, I believed you cheated to get this position," Spock couldn't help but say. "I harbored irrational irritation towards your person. Perhaps it was this disbelief that you're worthy of the position caused my judgement to blur on our compatibility."
"I'm no cheater. Well, other than staying alive against everything else attempting to end me."
"I fail to see the human humor in that statement, but am I led to believe that you wish to test our compatibility again? This time with both of us in clear understanding and not stubborn indifference?"
"As long as you don't get freaked out by my emotionality and hit harder than necessary."
"I did not-"
"Don't you dare tell me they were only love taps or else I am so going to fight dirty."
Spock raised an eyebrow challengingly, and Jim resisted the urge to slap his backside just to see his reaction.
.
"Hey- come over here Enterprise eyes!"
Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Jim turned from where he'd been attempting to slink off to. He blinked at the table full of the last of the Jaeger captains. Spock had rattled off the list, and had given him folders to look over, but it wasn't Jim's fault that they had fought so long yesterday. He'd been so tired when they'd finally gave it up that he barely had time to strip before falling asleep. For the first time since Sam's death he had slept soundly, without nightmares or regrets.
"Hey there Scotty."
"Got some lads and lasses here wanting to meet you."
Jim looked around the table and thought he was already deep enough in shit. It couldn't hurt to get to know the last of Earth's heroes. Truthfully, Jim thought these captains were much braver than the most of humanity who had already left the planet for colonies. True, it was helping Starfleet more than defending a very near lost cause, but Jim was all for those.
Sitting down, Jim cleared his throat and was about to introduce himself, when someone who still looked like a kid gaped at him with wide eyes.
"You'll have to ignore him," the man aside him said as he shoved more pasta into his mouth. "You're like, his undying hero or something."
The curly haired boy suddenly exploded into Russian at the other man, cheeks turning red while he grabbed at his hair and made it even more unruly. The other man just continued to listen and eat, seemingly unaffected. Then he began muttering something back in Russian, and the two ducked their heads for privacy.
"You'll get used to them. I'm Gaila," the woman next to Jim said with a smile that had Jim sitting at attention. She was a beautiful Orion, and Jim had never seen one before. Especially when it was usually humans who captained Jaegers in hope of saving their home planet. Aliens wanting to die for a planet not their own was rare.
"And that's Uhura, my Captain, and then Carol and Chapel," Gaila continued to explain.
"The blonds have protected Australia for the past six years; the dark-haired ones America for seven," Scotty answered.
"Oh stop, you'll make me blush," said the one with a blond bob and bright blue eyes. The blond aside of her smiled as well.
"That's truly- wow. I really have been missing out," Jim said in wonderment. "Talk about woman empowerment."
It seemed that the curly haired boy wanted Jim's praise just as much as he exclaimed: "I am Chekov, Pavel Andreievich. This is my fellow captain Sulu, and we have successfully curtailed anything from entering the Siberian coast and below for the past four years."
"Wait, wait. How old are you?" Jim said in ill disguised disbelief.
"Sewenteen sir," Chekov said in pride, and Jim quickly did the math with a grimace. This kid never even had a childhood.
"Times haven't exactly been easy for finding capable captains," the man who had now been named as Sulu said.
"You should hear the story of how these two happened upon each other. It's fantastic, a Japanese and a Russian walk into a Jaeger and all that" Scotty said with a grin. "But, then again, I'm sure you all have fantastic stories that could bring me to my knees."
"If not for you, Scotty, I wouldn't even have Enterprise to captain," Jim said gleefully.
"Spock did most of the restoration," Uhura said, dark brown eyes locking with Jim's challengingly.
"I'm sure he did the equations and set everything up, but come on. The Vulcan getting all hot and greasy?"
"Captain, I fail to see what relevance that statement has towards polite social conversation."
Jim would deny to his dying day (that might even be next week, if he was so lucky to have that many hours) that he did an undignified squeal in shock before turning and meeting Spock's raised eyebrow; right one, so it was amused. He was in the clear.
"Mister Spock, I was just getting acquainted with the other teams."
"They are each highly qualified and their lasting existence shows their ability," Spock said in his own form of praise as he sat.
"Stop, else you're going to make Uhura blush again," Gaila said with a giggle as she nudged shoulders with Jim. Oh yeah, Jim would have liked to have gotten some time to get to know this redheaded bombshell. And if the twinkling in her eyes was any indication, she probably wouldn't mind that much either.
"Captain, please endeavor to remember we have our first-"
"Right, right, we're mixing it up in the brain department after this. Just- don't try and remind me too much. Else I may get a little queazy."
Spock blinked at Jim's wary smile before inclining his head and sitting down.
.
"My mind to your mind," Spock started.
"My thoughts to your thoughts," Jim finished.
"Neurological hand-shake engaged," Scotty answered.
Jim's body involuntarily stiffened as he was suddenly not in reality; there were flashes of memories and emotions (so the Vulcan does feel and was that a teddy bear?) as they entered the drift. If not for the pressure of cohabiting with Spock, Jim would have taken the time to enjoy Spock's memories. Everything that was known to Jim and unknown through Spock floated by at rapid speed.
And then suddenly the image of Sam being stricken was there and then rewinding and then again and suddenly he was there-
Jim didn't scream when he saw the last of his brother; he did scream when he felt the Kaiju once again bombard him with its multi-ton body of poisonous blood and killing talons; head as a knife. It still had a grip on the cockpit and was attempting to blindly grab at Jim.
Jim didn't have time to cry, or to scream as the monster used its other hand to tear at the Enterprises' heart. With the mantra of 'For Sam, for Sam, for Sam-' he disconnected his device on his arm and moved it to his brother's side. He felt and heard the whirl of the phaser gun begin to charge. In the meantime, to occupy the Kaiju, he leaned forward aggressively, trying at least to bluff his way towards action and victory.
The pain of the lost arm-
Of his side compromised so he could barely breath-
No, he could ignore that. All that mattered was the ability he knew he had to win. If there was one fight he didn't have an option in, it was this. Even if if killed him, he didn't care. He was going to live up to his Father and Sam and die with dignity.
It seemed he did have some strength left in him as he kept his arm straight and discharged the phaser; the Kaiju wailed and then it was down.
Jim felt the sweat bead down his face, the bone-cold of the Alaskan wind howling through the shattered Jaeger head; he refused to acknowledge it as anything else.
Jim turned away from the leaking blue to the shore nearly a mile away. A mile he knew he had to walk; alone. The distance had never seemed so long, or that phrase so painfully accurate.
"Come on Enterprise; let's get us going," Jim said with a cracked voice as he pushed himself forward. "I did say the rust wouldn't win this round, and it still won't."
He wasn't going to think about Sam now-
It had happened and it wasn't something he could change now-
And somehow he still wanted to be alive despite how it was his brother that held all the self preservation-
"Lads!" Scotty called out brightly, and Jim nearly doubled over as he remembered how to breath.
"I got it, I can handle it. I'm back," Jim said after a difficult few seconds. The blond looked aside to Spock, and noticed the dark-haired man was staring at him intensely. He was similarly panting and sweating; Jim realized in dread Spock had no doubt experienced that with him just now.
"Jim," Pike's calm voice came through. "Disengage. We will try again in a few hours."
"Thank you, sir," Jim said as he looked away from Spock, realizing it would be hard to look at him in the eye again. Now the Vulcan knew everything about Jim; everything that truly mattered at least.
Jim literally sprinting out of there. He barely let the attendants take off the suit before he was off.
It only took a few minutes to get to the hanger, to stare up at Enterprise yet again. Despite how he was just inside her and had failed, he felt a wave of pride. He had trusted someone he'd met barely two days ago to see his brain. The only part of him that was distinctly his and safe.
The blond groaned in frustration at himself; why couldn't he just get things immediately like he used to when he was younger? What was the point of being a genius if he couldn't even-
"I must apologize."
Jim's head snapped up at that, and he turned in shock to find Spock sitting aside of him. Damn that man. He could really sneak up on someone.
"What?" Jim asked, refusing to acknowledge how his voice cracked.
Spock remained silent, and Jim turned back to the Enterprise. After a good ten minutes, Jim couldn't take the silence any longer.
"I should have warned you that I'm a very emotionally unstable person beforehand. Sure, you saw that through my files and in sparring, but that's not the same as getting a transference. I'm not like Pike or Uhura who can control their emotions easily. So it's fine that you felt what I felt, you weren't being intrusive-"
"That is not the reason for my apology," Spock said sharply.
Jim continued looking at him, so he noticed the drop of Spock's shoulders and lowering of his head as he stated: "I was curious."
"Well, now you too know what it feels like to die."
Spock winced as if he'd been struck.
"My point," Spock said before taking another breath, "Was that it was not your fault for chasing the RABBIT. It was I who pushed you to relive the memory; I wanted to experience what changed you so much."
"You could have just asked Spock," Jim said with a grin. "I know that you're a touch-telepath. Maybe if this whole end-of-the-world doesn't happen we can catch up on each other's pasts."
"You are speaking truthfully?" Spock asked in awe.
Jim gave him a careless grin in return. Spock seemed to study it for a moment before turning his face forward. Jim mirrored him, and the blond enjoyed their silence. He didn't even have the urge to reach over and touch Spock to make sure he was real; he was content just in companionship.
"My Vulcan father and Human mother were killed by a Kaiju beast, codename Nero, fifteen point two years ago. In addition, my Vulcan home planet was engulfed by those who control the Kaiju. It was nearly a statistical impossibility they would pick Earth, my only other home, immediately as their next world to conquer. I have lost my parents and my planet."
Jim's head snapped to look at Spock, but the other man continued to stare straight ahead, eyes oddly void but voice steady as he continued.
"While Pike has allowed me to captain the Enterprise for experience past the simulator, we have never had any direct conflict with a Kaiju. He believes that because of my emotional reaction to gaining revenge for my parents may trigger... an unpleasant reaction in the other captain. We will become compromised; emotional transference. I wanted to assure myself that you were emotionally strong and willing to relive a horrid event. To promote you to success."
"You fight dirty for a Vulcan," Jim said with a laugh that had Spock finally looking back at him. Then the blond's face softened at a revelation he voiced: "Chris took care of you. Just like me. He took you under his wing."
"Christopher Pike does not have-"
"Human phrase."
Spock nodded in understanding before admitting: "Yes. He is my second Father, although I see him more as my Captain."
"I'm not trying to take his place," Jim was quick to say.
"I have come to accept this circumstance," Spock said stoically. "Now that I know of your emotional stability, I will not have to hold shields as I had to with Uhura."
"Glad to know I'm at least tolerable. Of course, Bones would no doubt disagree."
Again, a silence reigned over the two captains and Jim tried to resist saying what he wanted to, but in the end he gave in.
"We can do this, Spock. I know it. We're compatible, you're super hybrid-awesome, and you can easily pull me along. And we can emotionally surpress each other," Jim said with a laugh that felt genuine.
"Perhaps I will take you up on the mind-meld?" Spock asked, in an oddly human way that must be the reason for Jim suddenly shocked silent.
"I see it only fair, as I have pushed you to relive your most trmatic experience. I believe it would strengthen our bond if you were to experience mine."
"I-" Jim broke off to swallow the lump of sudden trust and thanks that threatened to ooze out. Despite the overwhelming pain he was sure he would experience, he was slightly giddy at the trust. "I would be honored, Spock."
Spock positioned himself to face away from the Enterprise and to Jim; the blond mirrored him. As the Vulcan reached out his long fingers, Jim was sure Spock was giving him just the slightest of a smile-
But then the alarms went off.
Apparently, Jim still didn't have good timing.
.
TBC