A/N Man oh man, has it been a while. I could give you a hundred excuses that would all be true: my computer broke over the course of the summer, I just started University, my interest waned, etc etc but you guys don't need to hear that. Here I am, finally updating. Like I said from the very start, I fully intend on finishing this story no matter what. So (almost) without further ado, here is chapter 9.
Also, on another note, I did just open up my beta profile again. So, if you're interested, let me know. Heads up, I do only beta for Lord of the Flies. Thanks!
Embarrassment: A feeling of self-consciousness, shame or awkwardness.
Piggy and I sat side by side on the logs. Our arms were pressed together, trying to conserve warmth in the harsh wind of the night. He was shaking, though I was unsure whether it was from the cold or the fear. I, on the other hand, sat stationary, staring out at the ocean, deep in thought with the occasional shiver going down my spine. Piggy and I hadn't spoken in at least half an hour, and I could tell he was dying to get something off his chest. He shook and fidgeted and cleared his throat, consistently breaking me away from my thoughts.
He cleared his throat yet again, causing me to snap at him.
"What do you need, Piggy?" I asked harshly.
"I was just curious… do you think there's a beast?" He asked hesitantly.
I paused for a moment. Did I believe there was a beast? There was certainly something on this island. However, was it a real, dangerous, violent creature, or rather something we've created? Was there a tangible monster, or was the monster really just within ourselves? Thinking that my true theory may be too hard to explain to Piggy, I simply replied, "No."
Piggy stayed silent for a moment, looking embarrassed that he had asked. I continued to fix my gaze out to sea.
"Then what are the boys chasing? What are they doing if there's no beast?" He seemed to be looking to me for reassurance.
"Well, I don't know! They're just boys being boys, I suppose."
After that we stopped talking. Both of us stared out onto the large body of water, wondering if we would ever be found. We waited impatiently for the boys to return, hopefully with good news and in one piece. Granted, I knew Piggy was afraid of a mythological creature attacking them, but I was more afraid they would rip each other to shreds. My mind casually started to drift off, tired from the lack of sleep. The last thought in my mind before it all went black was if the hunters would even be back before morning.
I awoke to the unmistakable huffing sound of boys trying to catch their breath mixed with frantic footsteps. Piggy was already awake and on high alert as his voice cut through my groggy mind, squealing, "What's wrong?!"
The boys halted at the platform, checking to see if they were safe. Finally, after a moment or two of panting, Ralph spoke up.
"We saw it. We saw the beast."
Jack joined him at his side, ready to support the story, "It was big. And it bulged! Its face was monstrous and it made some sort of weird sound!"
Suddenly, Roger had joined the duo, followed by the rest of the hunters. They all started talking at once, telling the gruesome tale of what lay at the top of the mountain. They all seemed scared out of their wits, excluding Roger. He seemed, well, fascinated. I shut my eyes and shook my head just a little. As the morning light shone down on our camp, the littluns started to rise and join our meeting.
"Are you sure?" Asked Piggy for the hundredth time.
"We know what we saw," Ralph replied coldly.
"Are we safe here at the platform?"
"How the fuck are we supposed to know?" Jack's voice broke through the conversation.
"Well… what are we going to do?"
Everyone remained silent. Finally, as the leader of the group, Ralph spoke up, "We can't even make a signal fire now. That's where the beast lives. So that's it, I suppose. All we can do is hide down here and hope for the best."
"Hey, we could fight it. In the light, I mean. We still have the hunters." The former choir boys nodded in approval behind Jack.
"They're nothing more than kids with sticks," Ralph retorted, getting to his feet to face Jack.
"What did you say about my hunters? You'll pay for that, Ralph," Jack got a dark look in his eyes.
"Oh, just shut up!" Ralph yelled. Suddenly, Jack had snatched the conch from Ralph's hands and begun to blow, signaling the beginning of a meeting. The few littluns not already on the platform scampered in, ears ready and waiting for what was to come.
As Ralph begun to talk, Jack cut him off, stating he called the meeting. They had a hushed dispute over who the leader of the discussion would be before Ralph finally gave in, seemingly uncaring about who started to talk – he would eventually voice his opinion anyways. I sat patiently between Piggy, still at my side from the night previous, and Sam.
Jack begun to speak of the excursion the night previous, telling the already frightened littluns the one thing they didn't need to hear. I looked around the group and noticed that Simon was missing. I silently hoped he was in his special place away from the rest of these batty boys.
Ralph and Jack began to fight as per usual. They fought about what Ralph did or didn't say about the hunters, about their next plan of action. Finally, Jack had hit his boiling point.
"Who thinks Ralph oughtn't be Chief?" Everyone at the assembly seemed shocked. Frozen. Unable to move. Hell, I was shocked, frozen and unable to move. I knew that at some point, and some point soon, that Jack would openly question Ralph's leadership abilities, however I didn't expect it to come so abruptly. I looked around at the faces of the other boys. Not one hand was raised. Curiously, not even Roger's.
Jack repeated the question. No one made eye contact with him. His face turned as red as his hair with embarrassment and shame.
"Well, I'm not going to be part of Ralph's lot anymore."
"-Jack-" Ralph tried to cut in to stop him from making a mistake. This was bad. This was bad for everyone.
"No! I'm going off by myself. Anyone who wants to hunt – who wants to have fun – can come too."
And with that Jack Merridew ran into the forest, leaving nothing behind but the shocked faces of the rest of the tribe.
Piggy began to speak reassurances to Ralph – "he'll come back", "he can't survive long alone", but Ralph still seemed to be distressed over the whole series of events. I knew Jack wasn't coming back. I also knew I wouldn't be joining him. Roger would soon go and I could just stay on the opposite tribe. Wouldn't that be the ultimate form of protection?
I raised my head and saw Roger saunter off in the direction Jack had gone. Following my brother were Robert and Maurice. Soon other members of the choir began to leave. Even a few littluns left. All the while, Ralph and Piggy sat, discussing having a fire on the beach, not even realizing most of the Chief's once loyal followers had departed. Ralph ordered the remaining boys plus myself to go gather some firewood. When I returned, the only people left were Ralph, Piggy, Samneric a couple of littluns and I.
"Did everyone leave?" I asked the four older boys sitting on a log, already knowing the answer.
"Yes," Ralph responded without looking me in the eye, "and why aren't you with them?"
Sighing, I took a seat on the opposite end of the bench. Leaning forward so that I could see the blonde boy better, I simply said, "you're a better leader, Ralph."
He leaned forward and caught my eye, "then why did you pick him?"
The three boys sitting between us quickly grew uncomfortable, grunted out a few excuses and left, presumably going back to the shelters.
If I was going to stay here with Ralph, why didn't I just tell him the truth? The truth about my mother and Roger and why I agreed to be Jack's anything in the first place. And so I did.
The truth came tumbling out of my mouth like a waterfall. My face was red with embarrassment and my eyes were watery, but I told Ralph everything from my life at home, to feeling scared of Roger here to just wanting to feel safe for once in my life.
When I finished and I had been reduced to a big blubbering mess, Ralph wrapped his arms around me and silently held me. He placed his chin on my head while I cried. There was nothing romantic about the gesture, he was simply a supportive friend helping another friend through a rough time. And honestly, in that moment, that's all I really wanted.
A/N So there you have it. I would love it if there's anyone reading this if you would review. It would mean a lot to me. It would hopefully inspire me to force myself to write and finally get this story done! So please, take two minutes out of your day and give me your feedback. Thank you :)