I do not own Warm Bodies. It's just awesome.

R and Julie: The Simple Life

Chapter 3: Grand Master Genius

R and Julie continued to live in her father's house. In Julie's mind, there was no reason to find another place. The house was plenty big enough for them to share with Nora. Many rooms were never even used at all. Julie felt it was basically their house more than her father's because he still only stayed there a few nights a week anyhow. R didn't care where they lived as long as they were together.

There was, however, a slight room change.

R and Julie's bedroom became private property a few days after the wedding. It was all Nora's doing. One day, when the door was wide open, she casually strolled in. Julie was busy rifling through a pile of clothes on the floor and R was lying on the bed on his stomach, reading something in "R's Big Book of Icky, Sticky Human Stuff". Nora leaned against the doorframe and spoke.

"Hey you guys, let's go hang out in R's old room. This place smells like sex and candy."

Julie gasped, "Nora!" and R dropped his book on the floor, stunned.

It landed with a thud as Nora continued, undeterred.

"What? It does! I wish my room smelled like that . . ."

"Nora! Oh my gosh," Julie facepalmed herself while R averted his eyes in embarrassment and scrambled to pick up his book while steadily turning crimson.

And thus it was that R's old, little used bedroom became their new common room. There was actually more space in there because it was so empty. The IPod and record player traveled back and forth as needed. There were no special smells. So it actually worked out quite well.

One day after a long shift of food salvage work, Julie walked home alone in the rain. She didn't really mind. It was kind of relaxing. Nora was already home, having completed an early shift as a medical attendant. R would arrive later after his work detail ended. Julie exchanged her drenched clothing for dry and as she towel dried her hair, she heard familiar sounds. Music, loud and clear, emanating from the common room. She peeked in.

"Sweet Home Alabama" may not have been exactly her cup of tea, but when Nora got silly and started dancing to it, Julie couldn't resist. Soon they were dancing, laughing and twirling each other wildly. In the middle of the song, they finally noticed R. His tall, lanky form leaned against the door frame, one foot crossed over the other, arms crossed over his chest, a big, open grin on his handsome face, watching their goofy spectacle.

Mmm, so alive.

Julie beamed at him. She just loved it when he forgot to be self-conscious and keep his mouth closed. When he smiled like that, he revealed his crooked teeth. They were so irresistible to her. She looked at Nora and Nora looked at her. Together the giddy girls grabbed R and pulled him into their raucous with delight. He chuckled and spun them both and allowed himself to be spun a little but never quite found it within him to exactly dance.

When the IPod switched songs, the theme continued with Journey's "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'". Though this also was not exactly their cup of tea either, Julie and R found themselves moving closer, slower. Julie started to tingle and she noticed R's breathing had gotten heavier. She managed to pull her gaze away from the deep desire in his eyes long enough to notice that Nora had slipped quietly from the common room.

It was a good thing too because they never made it through the end of the song. They barely made it across the hall to their room.

Quite some time later, Julie searched out Nora downstairs in the kitchen and apologized for the abrupt intermission. Nora waved it away, unconcerned.

"Are you kidding? What else are you to do with a song like that?" she winked.

Julie hugged her. She loved Nora. They had become friends at sixteen, stuck through the apocalypse and everything thereafter together. Nora was special to her.

"So . . . is it Marcus or Kevin? Or somebody else?" Julie inquired, changing topics.

Nora laughed and shook her head.

"I don't know. I think Marcus is just like that with everybody. And Kevin . . . "

She stopped and shrugged.

"Kevin, is just Kevin."

She shrugged again and Julie rolled her eyes.

"Stop shrugging, Shrugger," Julie reprimanded, throwing a dishtowel at her. Nora caught it and giggled.

They sat for a while, chatting about different things. Much to Nora's disappointment, Julie adamantly refused to divulge any intimate details about her and R's personal activities. Her rising blush said what she wouldn't though, and Nora was glad for them both.

"Um, Julie? Why are there birds on strings hanging from the doorknob?"

"Huh?"

"Come here."

R stood on the threshold of their bedroom, the door ajar, staring something on the doorknob. Julie walked over and looked down.

Two small felt birds hung from strings on the doorknob. One bird had a light blue body with dark blue and light green wings. Its beak and tail were light green too. The second lovebird had a yellow body with orange, blue, and red wings. It had a red beak and a dark blue tail. The birds' beaks contained magnets and could attach as though they were kissing.

Julie picked them up in her hand. They were light, soft, and completely adorable.

"What are they?"

What are you? Echoed in R's mind. He brushed it away. I bet this has something to do with Nora.

They found Nora in the common room, looking rather innocent, reading a medical book. She looked up and grinned impishly as they entered the room.

"Hey, Nora." Julie said, holding out the birds. "What are these?"

Nora's grin got wider.

"Why, they're bird ornaments, of course. For my lovebirds."

Nora rose from the couch and approached the two of them. Taking the lovebirds from Julie's hand, Nora held them up.

"See, the yellow one is yours for your hair and the blue one is R's for his eyes."

R tried to understand.

"Um, okay?"

Nora continued, excited to unveil her brilliant idea.

"And when you need some, how do I say, private time, you hang them on the doorknob and no one will interrupt you."

Julie looked flustered and R tried to maintain his dignity by pretending he was invisible.

Don't giggle. Don't giggle. Don't giggle.

"Nora!" Julie gasped.

Nora looked nonplussed. "What? You're married now and . . ."

"But, birds?" Julie questioned.

"Well if you prefer to be literal about it, it might take a bit more time to find a big giant . . ." Nora began, suggestively.

"Nora!"

Julie felt her blush rising from somewhere around her toes and R lost his battle with dignity and burst into laughter.

"Plus," Nora continued, unabated. "You can have an unspoken code. If one of you is, interested, let's say, you put your bird on the door. When the other person sees it, then they can either bring the bird inside as a 'no' or put their bird with it as a 'yes'!"

Julie was completely flabbergasted while R remained incoherent with laughter. Nora stood holding the birds aloft, proud of herself, a grand master genius in her own right.

R suddenly reached out and snatched his lovebird out of Nora's hand.

"This'll do fine. Thanks!" He declared quickly and started to exit the room.

He made it all the way to door before turning back slyly.

Okay, I'm going for it.

"Do we have any superglue?' he inquired. "I'm permanently attaching mine to the door."

"R!" Julie howled, nearly purple with embarrassment.

She snatched her bird from Nora and threw it at R, mortified. He caught it deftly and ran off down the hall with both birds, still chuckling.

Julie hollered, "R, come back here!"

But there was more laughter in her voice than yell. Julie turned back to find Nora on the floor breathlessly hysterical.

"Nora," she exclaimed, unable to squelch her giggles. "Oh, you are so wicked!"

Nora wiped tears from her eyes.

"Good idea, though, huh? Oh my gosh, can you believe R made a joke like that?! Ha!"

From the stairs, Nora heard R say, "Hey Mr. Grigio. Do you have any superglue?"

"Pardon? What for?"

"Well, sir. . ." R began mischievously.

Julie bolted from the room.

"R!" she yelled through her laughter.

Nora was left sitting happily on the floor of the common room. Oh yes, I am that good, she thought, feeling quite pleased with herself.

The lovebirds proved very useful. They stayed on the doorknob quite a lot, actually. Together.

Oh yeah, Marcy Playground. I totally went there. And a few other fun places. Did ya like it? Come, leave a review. I dare ya. Just go for it =)

Many thanks to Lady Shaye for the excellent review! Yeah, they are definitely having some fun now, huh?