A/N: hey : ) I bet you all thought I totally forgot about writing haha.. yea uhm there were things going on and I couldn't get myself to it but hey I'm back.. so I hope you like what's below :D please review, favorite, follow, anything you like, just let me know if you enjoyed :D so much to come yet yay yay yay!

thanks for the reviews to: DeniseDEMD, Crushontherush, 1234irrek, Jenno2, No-Emotions-To-Cry, Franshes :D please stay tuned I'll be around the corner writing more lol

Chapter 3

Looking at all the food on the table was not the best feeling at that moment for Kendall. He felt the need to run out and throw up, but somehow with a few deep breaths and different nightmare-like scenarios of his parents' freak out about a time when they find out about his pregnancy stopped him from turning green even. He rather smiled apologetically at his mother, "I don't think I can eat now, but thank you." Of course everyone believed that he was depressed because of the break up and not once it turned in their heads that there was something else behind Kendall's strange behavior.

At least Kendall hoped it was that way.

If his father found out about the baby he'd chop James' dick off on his own before Kendall could even say that he hadn't even known shit yet. This was the day when Kendall had found out, and also this was the way when he'd wanted to tell James and to his whole family. Only if James had come to meet them. He didn't want to understand that the only thing he'd been doing wrong was avoiding Kendall's family.

Compared to how amazing of a night Kendall had imagined, this was now tragedy. "I'd like to go to sleep now." He announced about to get up from the table.

Both of his mothers were up before Kendall though. After all one thing had succeeded. His family had accepted Jennifer as the new-old member and welcomed her with so much love, it nearly got Kendall tear up. How could James not see that his family was the most forgiving and loving that ever walked on Earth's face?

A single tear dropped from his eye. Looking around the table, his father, moms, step-siblings, a few friends, all wore concerned and caring expressions. "I'm okay." He managed to say. "Despite everything that happened today, I'm really happy that we're working so well together. Once again I want to thank you all for your good hearts. You all are truly amazing. You know why I'm saying this. Thank you, guys. I love you all."

Little smiles took over the guests' faces. Yes. This was good. With James or without James. He was going to get through anything with his family. They owned all the love of the world. With this power they could do anything together.

The next morning Kendall woke with a little headache and his stomach was not feeling too well either. He always had been able to take illness somewhat okay, and he sure hoped he could carry his child too without many difficulties. But on the other hand he knew that this was strictly different from anything that he'd ever known before.

Thinking of James somewhat lowered the level of the pain. How could someone give you so much comfort and yet cause you heartache of the worst kind. He'd been up half the night trying to figure out a proper way of telling James that he was pregnant. It didn't make sense to keep it from him, after all it was his child and Kendall knew that he wouldn't like to be left out of his son's life either. Maybe it would even bring them back together.

But Kendall didn't want to get his hopes up too high. He just kept wishing for James to be nice to the situation.

James had been thinking about calling Kendall. It had been an hour or more since he wanted to call him first, but then he changed his mind thinking that Kendall wouldn't like to hear about him anyways. Ever since that first attempt he'd been playing around with the thought of dialing but he couldn't make it so far.

"Oh come on." Just one call. He'd ask him how he's doing and be done with it. He just wanted to hear Kendall's voice. The wait nearly killed. him. He was worried that something happened to him after he yesterday had stormed out. After several rings finally Kendall answered. He didn't actually answer because the line was silent. "Kendall?"

A heavy sigh came from him as a reply. "I'm here."

"I'm so glad to hear your voice." James breathed out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry for last night."

"Yeah. You are. Me too." If James wanted to be on top of every situation then Kendall would let him have his game again. Kendall decided to not make too much effort. This time it was James' time to be the one that kept trying. i'm tired of being strong.

"What are we going to do now?" His boyfriend's voice was a quite whisper. Kendall stared out the window. It was still early in the morning. He wondered if James had slept at all. He barely ever was up at this time, unless he hadn't slept a minute.

"I don't know." It hurt him. It hurt Kendall badly that he had to use James' weapon to get further, but James had to learn it the worse way. He wouldn't learn it didn't matter how nicely Kendall tried.

Now James kind of understood how Kendall must have felt when he wasn't able to say more than those three words. He loved Kendall with his whole heart but he seemed to fail at showing it. His stubborness would always win over what his heart would do.

The longest pause in a phone conversation of all times came then. Both of them thought of everything and yet about nothing. All Kendall saw in front of him was James, and what James could imagine was Kendall only. There was this empty space in his heart whenever Kendall was far. And now that empty space felt deeper than ever before. Kendall was farther than he ever had been from James. If one thing he didn't want, it was Kendall going somewhere farther. "Are you going to come back?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Of course I do." Nothing was he desired more.

He wasn't going to give in again, only to get his heart broken a little later again. "Are you going to be able to face my family?"

The well known silence took dominance of them.

"I take that as a no." Ready to finish Kendall lowered his phone from his ear but before he could have ended the call he heard James yell.

"Wait, Kendall. Just give me some time." His voice was desperate. He knew that he was going to lose Kendall now. Kendall couldn't reply but the phone was up at his ear again. "Kendall please."

He was tired from fighting. He was tired of the scenes that James could make. He was too tired to yell, let alone speak a little loud. "There's no more time left, James. I'm so sorry." And with that Kendall was done. Immediately he turned his phone off and went to his wardrobe. Luckily he kept a few pieces of clothing in this house too. So many times he'd wanted to leave James but he always ended up here in his parents' house. Some clothes remained. They remained as the pain that James caused him should have stayed too. But it kept following him everywhere. Now, it was time he made it farther, so he might escape.

This time he'd not stop, he'd not go back. If James wasn't ready to be a part of a family, of his family, then Kendall would not stay with him.

James could hardly believe what he'd done. It was more difficult for him though to believe what Kendall had done. He'd refused to fight back, he'd denied to forgive him, to give him more time. He really was out now. It's insane. "Fucking insane!" His phone flew against the wall and fell into pieces. This time Kendall wouldn't do as James thought he was going to. All this time Kendall let him live the dream that he ruled everything in their relationship. And now James realized, he was wrong. Kendall knew exactly how to turn the situation upside down and be the one with the power.

So Kendall decided to break him, to not come back anymore, to not give him any more chances.

Too bad that James could not know if they were better off this way. He had no idea whether to be grateful for Kendall's decision or mad at him.

But finally he understood Kendall. And with everything he had, James wished he could go back in time and do everything the other way around. So then Kendall would not be hurt anymore, so then they'd be happy, and so then he wasn't about to go down the way he'd once been on. That one road, the one that fucked him up so much that James wasn't able to stand in front of Kendall's family, or in front of anyone else but Kendall and a few friends.

It was late though. There wasn't any way to go back in time. There wasn't any way to undo action that had been done. There was one way though, one way to not make things even worse.

That one way was to turn back from where James headed to.

Although James did not know he could turn back. He did not know.