Friction - Chapter Five
"Welcome back, Blair," Naveed said as he watched the woman stroll forward and take the same seat she had during their first session. "Your face looks much better now. How have you been feeling?"
"Good," she said as she folded her aviators and sat them aside. "There's an Alliance ship docked at the spaceport with a bum MAKO. Their tech came to the garage looking for parts this morning, and he said he'd take me out to look at it later today. Should be fun; I used to work with MAKOs a lot when I still lived with my dad at the base in Shanxi."
"I'm glad you have something to look forward to. How have you been sleeping? Have you noticed any changes in mood or stress level since we reduced your medication?"
She shrugged. "Sleep is about the same I guess, and the new dosage is fine."
"I can give you something to help you sleep if you truly need it Blair, but I'd like to see if our session today brings any results before I prescribe anything for you. Such drugs are commonly associated with dependency, so I only use them as a last resort."
"I don't really need anything that badly. I'm getting by."
The drell leaned forward in his seat and observed the woman silently for a moment. "You know Blair, for someone in your position you are remarkably self-possessed. Have you always been so independent-minded?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"Well, you have been living alone all this time under very trying circumstances and yet you are much more in control of your life than many people I've met outside my practice. Similarly, you remained composed even when faced with Kilandra's inappropriate comments during dinner. You did not lash out or let them get to you."
Blair slouched on the couch and tilted her head up to look out the skylight. "But they do get to me. I just don't see a point in making an argument out of it. Some people are judgmental assholes with bad attitudes. That doesn't mean I have to be." She glanced quickly back to Naveed. "Not that I mean there's anything wrong with Kilandra…"
He waved the comment away. "I understand your meaning, Blair, and I admire your resilience. Dr. Tunston sent over your files last week, including media reports of your crash. It's amazing you survived."
Her mouth clamped into a tight frown and her brows pinched. "I heard about those reports. Tunston wanted to me watch them as part of an 'exercise.' He said it would help me make sense of what happened; that it would make it 'real' for me." She swallowed thickly and looked up to the drell's dark eyes. "Apparently the fact I lost a limb, a father, and a career wasn't enough to do that."
"A career?"
She nodded and blinked away tears. "I wanted to study at the Alliance Academy to be a combat tech like the guy who came to me in the garage today, but I can't enlist because of my prosthesis. I wanted to live on a ship like my father did, and now I'm too damned scared to set foot on one without being hopped up on crazy pills."
Naveed stood up and retrieved a box of tissues from his desk then joined Blair on the white loveseat. He offered them to her and brought a hand to the back of her bare neck.
"You cut your hair," he said softly.
She pulled her legs up to her chest and huddled that way, wiping her nose absently. "I had to. Whenever I tried to pull it back my prosthesis would get caught in it. It was unmanageable after my operation anyway because of the…" She hiccupped. "The static."
The drell tapped his omni tool. "Tara, please bring us a glass of water." Without thinking, his hand moved back to the nape of her neck to brush the small point her cropped hair trailed into. "Blair, where is your mother? You speak often of your father, but you've never mentioned your other parent."
"I think she's moved back to Earth now," the human managed between hiccups. "She and my dad divorced when I was still young and my dad got custody, so I never had a very strong relationship with her. Sometimes she would send me things on my birthday, but I haven't spoken to her in almost five years."
"Do you have any siblings?"
"No."
A door chime forced Naveed off the couch. He went to the airlock to his office and took the glass of water his asari secretary had brought. When he returned to Blair, her face was dry and she'd put her balled up tissues aside, but periodic spasms continued to jolt her body. He handed her the water then knelt in front of her where their faces could be level.
"It was not my intention to upset you with my comments," he told her. "And I won't ask you to watch the footage of your crash; reliving it under hypnosis will be hard enough as it is. Do you still wish to begin treatment today?"
She wiped her face with her hands and smoothed her hair in an effort to regain composure.
"Yes," she said shakily, "I can't keep going on like this. I'm so tired."
Naveed winced at the familiar words and struggled to fight off a wave of memory. To keep from losing control, he pinched the soft ligaments between the thumb and index finger of his left hand. The sharp pain rooted his consciousness firmly to the present. Once his soul had fully recovered his body, he refocused on Blair. She wore an expression of concern and curiosity that warranted an explanation.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
"I'll be fine," he replied with a deep breath. "But I should correct something I told you during our last session. I was not entirely honest about drell memory and our ability to control it. I told you that we can dismiss unpleasant memories at will and avoid them in a similar fashion, but that is not always the case. Sometimes particularly vivid or traumatic experiences - like your accident - come up of their own accord, and try as we might, we are unable to make them go away. We must simply wait until the replay has faded or something outside our mind regains our attention. Like bodily pain."
She glanced at his hands and back to his face. "And that happened just now?"
"Yes. You…remind me of someone."
"Was she a mean person?"
"No, no, nothing like that. It's just…well, it's not really appropriate to talk about it right now. This is your time, and we have more important things to discuss." He rose off the floor and retrieved his data pad from his desk. "Because of the nature of drell memory and its ability to take hold with little warning, a method was developed amongst the followers of Arashu to block off certain sensations. Particularly skilled practitioners can even pluck a memory from your mind entirely, as though it never happened."
"It is a drastic measure, and not one we take lightly, but there are times when falling into your past, even if briefly, can have very serious consequences. What if a pilot lost himself in flight? Or a surgeon during an operation? Due to the Compact, many drell are tasked with sophisticated work that the hanar lack the dexterity to perform, and therein lies the necessity. A drell who cannot control himself is a potential danger to others."
"Like an engineer who's as likely to blow up your equipment as to fix it," Blair said with a wan smile. "Too bad that problem lies in my cybernetics and not in my head I guess."
"About that," he began as he took to his chair again, "I'm going to be taking a trip to Thessia with Kilandra next week so she can address some family business, and there is something I would like you to do while I am gone. I have a friend who works in neuroscience that is willing to take a look at your bionic modification and cybernetic structures as a favor to me. Normally she doesn't work on weekends, but I convinced her to schedule a consultation for you this Saturday so you would not have to miss any work. Also, because I am unsure of the tests she would like to perform, I booked a room for you at a hotel near her office. I hope you won't mind spending a night in a strange place."
"A room?" Blair repeated.
Naveed exhaled and spoke calmly. "Yes. Rena's lab is in Port Locke on the other side of Noveria. You will have to take a shuttle."
As he anticipated, the human's eyes widened in protest. "There isn't someone closer? I can't afford a shuttle!
"You won't have to; I've already covered the expenses. Your ticket and departure information will be sent to your omni-tool in the morning."
"What? No! I'm not going to take your money. It's not right. I'm an adult; I can take care of myself."
"Blair, even adults need help sometimes. If they didn't I wouldn't have a job, and you would never have come here in the first place. I do not wish to wound your pride, but I do not wish to see you suffer needlessly either. If you will not go for yourself, then do it for my sake. I would sleep much better at night knowing that everything that can be done for you, is being done."
"What makes you think she can help me? I've been to a half-dozen doctors and they couldn't tell me squat."
"When, Blair? When did you see those doctors? Seven years ago when you were first injured? Technology advances quickly - you know that. There may be new treatments available now, better medical equipment, a greater understanding of bio-mechanical infrastructures…"
She continued to stare at him blandly and he sighed.
"Please, Blair. I need to make sure there are no underlying medical problems that could be causing your symptoms, and I am not qualified to make that judgment. Rena is an expert and a friend. She will take good care of you in my absence."
"Why can't she come here? Why do I have to take a shuttle?" she argued.
"I know you don't like it. I knew it when I bought your ticket, but it will allow me to determine whether or not our work here today has been successful."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that I want to test how receptive you are to suggestion."
"Is that part of the hypnosis?"
"Yes. It's not something I can easily explain, and even if I could, I wouldn't. Despite a growing need for it amongst our population, the method I practice is closely guarded by Arashu's priesthood. In the wrong hands, it has great potential for abuse. After all, memories make up the story of one's life, so rewriting the past or carelessly removing a page of it can adversely affect one's present identity, and that is the exact opposite of what I strive to achieve. When I practice, it is to restore your freewill to your mind, not to damage it."
"You're saying there are people who use your discipline to control others?"
Naveed nodded with a frown. "There have been. It is why we keep it so secret."
"How do I know you won't do something like that to me?" she asked in a tone that suggested she wasn't altogether serious. The corners of Naveed's defined lips turned up.
"You don't I suppose, but I would like you to know: I could no more harm you than I could the one you remind me of. I'm afraid I'm too fond of you for that." He stood up with a challenging smile. "Are you ready to begin?"
Blair stood and let Naveed lead her into a small room adjoining his office proper. It was warm inside, and laser lights embedded in the floor along the walls projected an aurora borealis in shades of twilight. A couch stood at the center of the room, next to two low tables and a lone medical cart. The human recognized the familiar incense that flitted about the air, but the quiet presence she'd felt that night in Naveed's bedroom was absent. The drell turned to her and gestured to the couch.
"Please lie down. Feel free to remove your shoes or your jacket if that makes you more comfortable."
The woman followed his instructions and lay on her back with both hands clasped over her stomach. From the corners of her eyes, she watched Naveed adjust a dial on the wall and hang his jacket on a peg near the airlock. He wore a wine-colored tunic underneath that contrasted attractively with his bright pigmentation. The wall of light that wavered on the ceiling highlighted the individual scales of his now-bare shoulders. He returned to her and unfolded a small stool form the medical cart. When he sat, he was too far back for her to see his face anymore. She felt his hands on the side of her face suddenly and her heart rate skipped.
"Is it too warm for you? Would you like a pillow?" he asked he smoothed her hair away from her eyes and mouth.
"No, thanks. I think I'm okay."
"Good. Are you ticklish? I only ask because I once had a patient inadvertently strike me in a sensitive place."
Blair tried to stifle a laugh that ultimately escaped as a snort.
"And your response is to laugh at me," Naveed observed lightly. "That's fine. The hands of Arashu are nothing if not humble. Besides, laughing is good for easing tension and I need you to be relaxed."
"Just don't brush the sides of my ribcage and you'll be fine," Blair told him with a grin.
"Very well, let's get started." After he pawed around in the cabinet a bit, his hands appeared on the edges of Blair's vision. He held up a white clip with a wire attached. "I'm sure you know all of this already, Blair, but policy dictates I have to explain to all of my patients. This is a heart rate monitor; it provides me with information on your vital signs while you are under. If you will give me your right hand, please."
She brought her hand to the side of her face and let him carefully clamp it over her index finger. As she moved her hand back to her stomach, a digital timer set for fifteen minutes came into view.
"This is so you know how much time as passed since I put you to sleep. Depending on the session, I will use increments of fifteen minutes, thirty, or in rare cases, a full hour. Since this is your first time, I will keep the session brief. Assuming things go well, we will delve into the past of your accident at a later time. Normally I would offer to let you hold this, but because of your unique situation, I will place it on the cabinet here, alright?"
Her eyes tracked his hand to her left. There must have been a magnet on the back of the timer, because it stuck to the side of the cabinet's metal frame.
"Now all of that is out of the way, I want you to close your eyes and clear your mind as best you can. Take deep breaths, inhaling with your nose and exhaling through the mouth."
Blair did so and felt Naveed's hands return to her face. His fingers slid under her neck and his thumbs brushed lightly at her temples. After a few minutes of silence, she noticed her breathing had taken on the rhythm of his thumb strokes; air came in as he moved his thumbs down and went out again as they moved back up. A light-headedness began to make her body feel fuzzy. When Naveed finally spoke, his voice had taken on a strange tone, and he sounded far away, on the edge of her hearing.
"Imagine Blair, that you are floating on your back on the surface of the ocean. The water is comfortably cool and it ripples gently around you. You can smell the salt of the sea and hear gulls crying in the distance. The sky is clear and you can feel the warmth of the sun on your face; its rays brighten the back of your eyelids."
The blackness of her closed eyes flashed briefly, and she felt the sensation of heat on her face. Her hand shot up anxiously, but a calming command from Naveed stopped her.
"Don't touch. You are leaving your body now to sink into the depths below. You open your eyes and see your old self on the surface. The sun is fractured by a prism of waves and your vessel is being carried away by the tide. You do not miss the air because no longer need it. Your consciousness is ethereal; as formless and adaptable as the ocean around you. The water calls for you to disperse and become a part of it."
Blair's body went numb and Naveed's voice got closer.
"Let the water win."