Friction - Chapter Six

Naveed sat quietly with Kilandra aboard a passenger-class cruiser en route to Thessia. While she perused a magazine on a couch in the center of the cabin, he rested near the window, looking out over the stars without actually seeing them. His mind was too occupied by the images of twisted metal and empty eyes he'd seen in Blair's crash report. He felt her scars under his fingertips and the weight of her prosthetic hand in his and wondered which part of the whole ordeal had been worse for her: the pain or the terror.

"I usually wake up when I start to smell my skin burning."

The drell frowned at the memory and reached subconsciously for his shoulder. "Usually", she had said. What happened when she didn't wake up? His mind seized his body again and forced his gaze to his omni-tool to check the time. Blair would be boarding her shuttle soon. He was tempted to fire off a message of encouragement to her, but Kilandra's hard voice interrupted him.

"If you look at that omni-tool one more time I'm going to snatch it off and throw it down the garbage shoot."

Naveed looked up with a forced smile and pulled his sleeve back down over the wrist device. "I'm only confirming our hotel registration, Kilandra. We have a 24-hour layover on Illium remember?"

The asari rolled her eyes and threw her magazine down on the coffee table in front of her. "You're a horrible liar, Naveed."

The drell dropped his feigned expression and shifted in his seat. "Yes I am."

"Well, out with it. You're going to make this trip miserable otherwise. Are you thinking about that girl again?"

"Yes," he replied honestly. "I'm having second thoughts about sending her away on her own. No one will be there to help her if the shuttle proves too much."

"Too late now," Kilandra said crisply. "Besides, she had to take a shuttle to get to Noveria in the first place didn't she? I'm sure she can manage it again."

"I don't know. Blair was so loaded up on anti-anxiety pills then that she was practically on auto-pilot."

"So why did you take her off them?"

The drell looked at the asari with wide eyes and sat forward in his seat. "Because turning patients into zombies is wrong? She had three times the standard therapeutic dose in her system, the highest amount a physician can prescribe without being considered criminally negligent."

"If the case calls for it-"

"But it doesn't call for it. Blair is not psychotic or mentally defective. She's sensitive and lonely and afraid - and she has perfectly natural reasons to be these things." He sighed and glanced out the window a moment before looking back to the asari. "Over-medicating is like a forced Disconnect. It doesn't solve any of a patient's problems, it just makes them unable to feel. It stifles the soul and I find it disgusting. I have half a mind to report Blair's previous doctor to the ethics board on the Citadel."

Kilandra looked at him unblinking for several seconds before her face contorted into a smile. The smile led to a hearty laugh that left Naveed confused. He stood and held out his arms. "What are you laughing at?"

"Oh Naveed," the woman managed between chuckles, "I'm laughing at you. Come and sit with me, precious." The drell complied and she snuggled into the curve of his arm, leaving one manicured hand on his chest. "You must really be upset about this; your heart is beating so fast…"

"I am upset. Doctors like Tunston are a black-eye on my profession, and innocent people suffer because of them. Blair was nineteen when she had her accident; amongst humans that's little more than a child. She had no way of knowing how those drugs would work and her only 'advocate' clearly didn't have her best interests in mind."

"And you do?"

"Yes."

The asari twittered again and snaked one of her legs over his. "What about my best interests?"

"What do you mean?"

She shrugged and brushed her hand up to his ribbed neck. "I've never seen you get so worked up over something to do with me…" She paused a moment and looked him in the eye. "Are you sleeping with that girl?"

The drell stiffened and a series of emotions ranging from shock to outrage to disbelief crossed his face rapidly. His already huge eyes grew abnormally large, and his words were barely a whisper. "What did you just say?"

Kilandra frowned at his response and leaned away from him. "I want to know if there's something going on with that girl you brought over. You haven't shut up about her since."

"So you automatically think I must be having an affair with her?" Naveed protested in a rising voice. "Kilandra, are you mad?"

"Oh, sure, Naveed. Mad. That must be it. I guess that scene of the two of you getting comfortable in front of the altar of Arashu was all in my head wasn't it?"

"Don't you mean the 'rock' of Arashu?"

"Don't change the subject."

Naveed's eyeridges knitted and he leaned forward in his seat, blinking bewilderedly. "Making Blair comfortable was the whole point, Kilandra. She isn't used to relying on others; I can't form a rapport with her if she doesn't trust me."

"She trusted you enough to come over," the asari pouted.

The drell stood up and flung his arms to his sides. "I can't believe we're having this discussion."

"Well neither can I! I don't know what you see in that...that..."

"That what?" he pressed as his voice dropped to a cold hiss. "Why don't you say it, Kilandra? We both know you're thinking it. That cripple? You were beating Blair over the brow with it the entire time she was visiting us. She was a guest, in our home, and you couldn't have been more disrespectful. I didn't say anything before because I thought your mood would pass, but I have never in my life been so embarrassed, so offended - and your bile wasn't even directed at me!" He put a hand on his hip and gestured with other. "You told me you would cooperate, that you would make her feel welcome, but you didn't! You treated her like some kind of second-class outcast. I didn't take Blair into the bedroom to be alone with her; I took her there to get her away from you."

Kilandra's lips parted in protest as her bluish face turned violet. "So now you're turning this on me?"

"Turning what on you? Nothing's happened! I don't understand why you suddenly think I'm being unfaithful just because I'm showing concern for someone other than yourself. You aren't the center of the damn universe, Kilandra. I didn't want to come on this trip - I wanted to stay home where I'm needed, but I came because you asked me to, because I care about you, and you reward me by ambushing me with unfounded accusations?"

"Your behavior is out of control, and I don't like it. I have been trying very hard to be patient and understanding regarding recent events, but all of your hot-and-cold is killing me. One minute you're fine, like you were just now, and the next...who knows. It frustrates me and it makes me worry. I do everything I can to try to make you happy and nothing seems to work anymore." Naveed sighed and turned away as the fight drained out of him. He returned to the chair by the window and collapsed in a forlorn heap. "Make up all the wild fantasies you like about me, but leave Blair out of it."

"You said she reminds you of Vashtee-"

"Who was my friend, never my lover. Arashu! Listen to yourself!"

"So you really haven't been with her?"

Before Naveed could answer, a chime sounded on the cruiser's PA system, followed by the voice of the pilot announcing their arrival to Illium. A warning light went up to make passengers aware of impending descent, and the mass effect envelope that lined the edges of the window began to color shift. The pair remained seated with a heavy silence between them as the ship met the planet and docked. When they'd finally come to rest, Naveed stood up and gathered their belongings to depart. Kilandra made a show of assisting him, but he waved her away angrily.

"I'll get it; just go get us checked in."

"But I want to help!"

"I said I'll get it," he repeated.

.oO-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Oo.

The elevator ride to their high-rise hotel room was a tense one. Naveed stood rigidly with the luggage at his sides, refusing to speak or make eye contact with the asari that wrung her hands helplessly alongside him. There was no point in talking when all of their words were angry ones.

"Naveed, I'm sorry!" the asari exclaimed as she grabbed his upper arm and clung to him desperately. "I was wrong to suspect anything. Please don't be this way to me..."

He turned to her sharply, his fine mouth pressed into a tight line and his eyeridges twitching in barely contained aggression. Kilandra reached to touch one of his high, arching cheekbones but he pushed her hand away. A small cry escaped the woman's painted lips and her eyes began to glitter with unshed tears. The drell sighed through his nose and faced the elevator doors again, mustering all his strength to keep his tone a level one.

"We will resolve this when we return to Noveria," he told her. "In the meantime, we will pretend as though nothing has happened. I will not be upsetting your mother during her daughter's funeral."

"Alright," Kilandra said weakly, "I'll do whatever you want."

"I want you to be silent."

She shrunk away from his cold demeanor and held her hands close to her body as if to ward off some unseen threat. As soon as the elevator reached their floor, Naveed blew past her, unhindered by the weight of the baggage he carried and a group of salarians waiting in the hall outside the elevator doors. The latter muttered hasty curses at him in their native tongue, and for once he didn't bother to stop and apologize. Kilandra trailed after him hurriedly, struggling to match his impressive stride in the restrictive dress she wore.

"Naveed stop this," she pleaded plaintively.

He ignored her and sat their bags down outside the door that matched the pass card the hotel clerk had given him. His hands shook as he swiped it through the security panel and waited for the light to turn green. When it did, the airlock slid open with a soft hiss to reveal the plush suite he'd purchased especially to keep Kilandra comfortable. It seemed like a waste to him now.

A fresh pang of hurt assaulted him as he entered and dropped their things carelessly in the doorway. The asari came in behind him and blocked the exit when she saw him turn to leave.

"Where are you going?" she demanded anxiously.

"Does it matter?" he snapped. He blinked and looked away as his eyes started to burn. "There's a bottle of wine in the fridge. I requested it when I made our reservation, but in light of our recent discussion I think I'd rather drink alone tonight."

He left her with that and headed for the elevator, ignoring the pleas that echoed after him. He wasn't sure where he was going, but it didn't really matter. All he wanted was to get away to some secluded corner where he could be alone with his thoughts and his goddess. The elevator deposited him in the lobby and he stepped through its double airlock doors into the open-air marvel that was No Astra, Illium's capital and cultural center. It was nearing twilight, but still people thronged the streets of the busy spaceport. He moved out of the shadow of the hotel and joined them in the city proper, searching the many fluorescent signs he passed for some place that might suit his solitary mood.

After a few minutes he came upon a courtyard full of public terminals and a large outdoor LCD display. Its soft glow made the surroundings seem cold and empty despite the warm breeze that ran through the folds of his jacket and the many voices that reached his ears. He took a moment to observe Illium's stately skyline and spotted a sonic-white sign in the near distance. The asari characters read simply: Eternity. The out-of-body feeling that Arashu's presence inspired came to the front of his thoughts; it was like limbo, like one's own private eternity. He made his way towards the establishment, doing the best he could to ignore the eyes that wandered over his body. Drell weren't a common people; yellow ones even less so.

When the airlock opened, a small gust of wind blew by as if to suck him in. A few heads turned to take of note of him, but most of the clientele kept to their drinks and conversations - just as he wanted them to. The bar was relatively spacious, with a high glass ceiling that showcased the stars that were just beginning to peek out of the heavens. Music with a slow rythym and synthed sounds played softly from an unseen source, easing the black mood that threatened to overwhelm him. He found a dimly-lit alcove walled-in on one side by a window and a row of booths on the other. Shortly after seating himself, a thin whip of an asari ventured over cautiously. Judging by her short crest and unfilled form, Naveed guessed she was still very young.

"What can I get for you, Sere?" she asked.

"Elasa, please."

"Ooo, Sorrow's Companion," the asari crooned in sympathy before quirking a tattooed eyebrow suggestively, "Anything else?"

The drell looked up from resting his head and his hands wearily.

"No," he said flatly. "And aren't you a little underage to be playing such games?"

She smirked and gave a sharp laugh. "Who are you? My father?"

"Most certainly not. No child of mine would be lounging about in a bar offering herself to strange men she's never seen before and will never see again."

"Hmph. Given that you're here by yourself drinking elasa I doubt that'll be a problem for you anytime soon."

The waitress returned to the bar after her snide remark and sent another back with his drink, though he could still see her starring daggers at him from behind the crowded counter. He took a long swallow of the greenish liquid in his glass and turned away from the adolescent asari to watch the shuttle transits zipping by outside. It occurred to him that there were multitudes living in Nos Astra, and yet he'd never felt more alone. The burning in his eyes returned and he put his head back in his hands to shield his face and the raw emotion that resided there. As the liquor took hold his will began to falter.

What had he done wrong? How could his mate of five years suddenly call him into question? Why?

Hot tears ran over his eyelids and fell to the table below while his shoulders began to shake. He had only the shadows of his dark corner to hide him now, but part of him didn't care anymore. He was furious that Kilandra would accuse him of infidelity and even more hurt by it. He was confused at who the woman he loved had become, and how he could have ignored the changes. Did the asari really mean the hateful words she'd said about Blair on the ship, or was it just another tactic to elicit some special response from him?

He gripped the sides of his face harshly. He did everything for Kilandra; he gave her his affection, his time, his body… He gave her the roof over her head and the clothes she wore and the love he thought she deserved. Didn't he deserve the same? Did she appreciate him at all?

Somehow he managed to swallow a rising sob and compose himself. He lifted his head and moved a hand to the breast pocket of his jacket, withdrawing a small square of crisp, clean linen. He was about to wipe his eyes with it when he recalled that it was the handkerchief Blair had given him. A sad smile pulled at his lips as he fingered the folded cloth. It was of a cheaper make than the handkerchief he'd given her, but somehow that fact made the modest gift so much more endearing to him. Blair had so little of her own that any gift from her would be a worthy one. He remembered his reflection in the old, battered glasses she seemed to love so much and a fresh stream of tears blurred his vision.

Blair was everything Kilandra wasn't. Her life was lonely and full of misfortunes. Her work was hard and her profit little. She found happiness in small things, and gracefully bore the weight of large ones. She'd fake a smile just to get one in return, and never admit it.

The drell's throat constricted painfully. Kilandra was right; he did have feelings for his human patient that went beyond standard professionalism. He covered his mouth with the handkerchief and muttered a mild oath.

"Arashu, help me…"