Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize. Lyrics belong to Lana Del Rey.

A/N: Second part of the most recent episode! It definitely took a turn even I wasn't expecting, but we'll see what happens!

I'm going to warn you again: my latest updates will have spoilers for the latest episodes. If you haven't gotten a chance to see the episode, wait to read the chapter if you don't want to be spoiled. In addition, I enjoy imperfect narrators - Paige is the main focus and her perspective is the one I write from. Sometimes she doesn't know things or makes inferences that aren't true. It definitely helps to have seen the episode.

As always, thank you guys so much!

Enjoy!

Big Ugly Lofts

By: Ginny

All my friends tell me I should move on

I'm lying in the ocean, singing your song

Ahhh, that's how you sang it

Loving you forever, can't be wrong

Even though you're not here, won't move on

Ahhh, that's how we played it

Paige washed out Boyd's wounds with as much care as she could. When she finally sanitized the last one, he nodded to her in appreciation and then leaned back. His eyes closed gently and she let him sleep.

Peter had finished with Cora a bit before and so Paige followed him into the kitchen to dispose of the bloody rags.

"Did you leave his body there?" she forced herself to ask.

Be a big girl, she told herself. Ask the tough questions, make the hard decisions. You have to be strong for this pack - Derek would have wanted that.

"Yes," Peter said softly, taking the rags from her hands and gingerly placing them in a garbage bag. "We had to get the injured ones out of there."

She nodded and leaned against the sink.

"He killed an alpha," he spoke up again. "Took one of them down with him."

Truthfully, she didn't want to hear anymore. She knew he was trying to make her feel better but the reality of his death was too much for her to handle but... Maybe it was too much for beta Paige to handle - little beta Paige who could sit in the back and twiddle her thumbs and back up her alpha if he needed it. She wasn't little beta Paige anymore, she was the alpha now and she needed to be able to handle this.

"How did it happen?" she finally forced out.

Peter gave her a long side-glance and then sighed. "You don't want to know," he told her.

"Yes," she insisted. "I do. I need to." He still didn't budge. "Please."

"Don't do this to yourself," he tried again. "What does it matter? He died. He's gone. How it happened doesn't matter and you shouldn't have to have that picture in your brain."

Anger welled up in her chest and she was across the room before she even knew she had moved. Her hand was around Peter's neck, forcing him to bent painfully over the garbage can.

"I wasn't there," she growled. "You insisted that I not be there so that I wouldn't distract him, so that if Derek did die, the person next in line - me - would be safe. So I stayed. And because I was here and not there, he died without me. I wasn't there for him when he passed and I should have been. The next best thing, though, is knowing how it happened." Peter cocked his head - or at least tried to. "In addition," Paige added. "If I'm the alpha now, and these betas are my responsibility now, I need to know how things went down - I need to know how they fought so that we can maybe develop a strategy next time."

He slowly reached up and put his hand around her wrist. "Fine," he said and Paige let go. Very gently, he reached out and brushed loose a tear from her cheek. Flinching away, she reached up her own hand and found both her cheeks wet. She hadn't even realized that she'd been crying.

"Fine," Paige repeated and took a step back.

"Deucalion had all of his alphas," Peter began. "We had more werewolves, but were still outnumbered. One alpha is like three betas - just to keep things even. Eventually they got Boyd and Cora pinned. They told Derek to kill Boyd or Cora would die." Paige opened her mouth but Peter added, "It was fine - that Argent girl came out of no where and blasted everyone with flare-arrows. Cora and Boyd got free. Derek chased one of the alphas - the big dude, not one of the twins, to an edge. We were at a construction area for an abandoned mall - there were lots of edges. Scott tried to get there in time but Derek pushed the alpha over and the alpha dragged Derek. They both fell about three, four stories straight down."

Gradually Paige nodded, very conscious of the fact that she hadn't shed a tear during the entire explanation. Good, she could handle this.

"And then you all got out safe?" she finished.

"Yeah," he nodded. "We split up - Isaac and Scott headed home. I headed here. I was going to call you but you were already here."

She fingered the edge of the table. "We should get his body," she decided.

"That can wait," Peter told her.

"No," she shook her head. "This is my responsibility. I'll go get it." She made a move to go around him and out the door but Peter's voice stopped her.

"Your responsibility is to your pack," he reminded her. "The living members of that pack. A part of your pack is at Scott's house. You should go check on him. Besides," he frowned at a spot right over her shoulder. "The alphas will need to go retrieve their packmates body as well. You shouldn't go alone and I'm in no position to back you up."

"And if they desecrate his body in revenge?" she shot back.

"It's just a body," Peter told her. "Derek's not in it anymore. He's -"

She cut him off. "Gone, yeah, I got it."

And as she shouldered passed him, she felt her stomach tighten a fraction.

"I'm going to go check on Isaac," she conceded and left.

The McCall house was eerily quiet except for the one bedroom lit up with light. Paige stood in the yard, watching as a shadow bustled back and forth in the room. Another shadow remained still in the corner. After a few moments, Paige took a huge leap forwards and up, grasping the edge of the gutters. She hoisted herself upwards and gently tapped at the window.

Inside, she listened as both heartbeats accelerated until Scott gingerly opened the curtain. Relief washed over his expression and he quickly let her in.

Her feet had barely hit the floor before she caught sight of Isaac.

The boy had seen better days - hair matted with blood, shirt ripped mostly to rags. And the moment his eyes found Paige's, his expression collapsed into pain. Paige instantly crossed the room and put her arms around the boy, pulling his head against her collarbone. And together they cried.

It was real.

It had really happened.

When her eyes had flashed red, she hadn't truly believed it. When half her person had been ripped from her and she had experienced his death with him, she hadn't truly believed it. When Peter had come home and told her he was gone, she hadn't truly believed it.

But here, now, holding her closest living friend, she knew it had happened. Derek was truly gone and they were going to have to figure out how to live in this world together, without their alpha.

Slowly their mutual sobs stopped long enough for Paige to remember that McCall was still in the room. As she pulled away, she found that he wasn't - he must have slipped out to give them some privacy. Sometimes that kid could be tolerable.

Paige used her shirt to wipe the tears from her face and allowed Isaac equal space to do the same and then she told him, "You're welcome back to the loft whenever."

"Thanks," Isaac breathed gently. "But... I think I'm going to stay a bit longer."

And though she nodded and affectionately brushed some of his hair from his forehead, Paige began to realize that maybe Isaac would rather have Scott for an alpha - that maybe she was losing her friend, just a little. But truly, if he was happier elsewhere, she wasn't going to be upset. Sad, maybe. Forcing a smile to her face, she stood up.

"Heal up well," she said. "Goodnight."

"Night," he whispered.

She decided to exit through the front door this time and discovered Scott in the living room downstairs. He was nursing a pretty nasty gash on his side.

"Try peroxide," she suggested. "Wounds heal faster when they don't have to disinfect themselves as well."

Scott nodded to her advice. "Thanks," he said. "It takes longer to heal because it's from an alpha, that's all. I'm hoping it's gone before cross country tomorrow."

"You have a meet tomorrow?" Paige asked. The small talk made her mouth hurt.

"Yeah, an away meet," he explained. "Isaac and Boyd are also going."

Paige nodded. She would make sure that Boyd was okay in the morning - otherwise, he wasn't going. But she wasn't going to tell Scott that. The boy had helped Derek in the past, but he had always made it clear that Derek wasn't his alpha. Scott had never been part of this pack. He didn't need to know pack business.

With that, she gave him a goodbye nod and made for the door. Her hand had barely landed on the knob before Scott's voice reached out, "I'm sorry, Paige." She tensed and stayed perfectly still. She really didn't want to talk about Derek with this boy.

"Nothing you could have done," she told him. And that was the truth. Peter had even told her that he had tried to help.

"Well, I just... I'm sorry he's gone," Scott said. After a solid moment of silence he added, "That makes you alpha, doesn't it?"

Her spine bristled and every hair on her body stood on edge. Why was she getting so angry? Why was she reacting this way? Turning to look at him, she realized that this boy had never respected her. And he had never respected her mate - not the way an omega should an alpha and his consort. She didn't want to talk about losing Derek. She didn't want to talk about her new position. And she didn't want to talk to this kid.

For a moment, she considered flashing her eyes at him.

Previously, that had been her favorite trick. If one of the other betas got snippy, she would flash her yellow eyes to remind them the control she had over herself - control they were still struggling to grasp. And when she was angry with a human who knew what she was, it only took half a thought to light up her eyes and remind them all that she was something savage to be feared.

But, she knew what Scott would see if she flashed her eyes at him: bright red, alpha red. When she had first seen that color, it had been settled in the eyes of a monster and she had feared it - had nightmares where that red swallowed her whole. And then Derek killed that monster and his eyes shone like fresh blood in the sun. There had been nothing more beautiful to Paige until that moment and since then, alpha red had meant love and home and protection. Red eyes reminded her of Derek.

And she wasn't going to waste any bit of his memory on Scott.

Instead, she said, "Yes. I'm the alpha."

Then she left.

Paige didn't sleep at all that night. Peter had made sure she was in bed, with the promise of trying to sleep, before he had left for his own bed. Near dawn, she had heard Boyd's alarm squawk loud and clear and she rose with him.

"Cross country?" she asked, watching him put on his gym shoes.

"Yeah," he said softly, trying not to disturb Cora. "We have an away meet." His hands stumbled over his other laces and he cursed. Paige sat down on the cot next to him and put her hands on his forearms.

"It's okay," she told him, soothingly.

"Derek is dead," he said sharply. For once, she didn't feel like flinching. "And I'm going to a cross country meet. How is this okay?" Boyd gave a heavy groan. "None of this is okay, or normal, or anything. I should be, I don't know, staying - mourning, something."

"Go," she decided for him. "There is nothing you can do here and you can't just give up on having a normal life. You have to have something besides the pack every once and awhile."

"How can you say that?" Boyd asked. "You just lost your mate."

"I don't have a normal life outside the pack," she reminded him. "I just have the pack. A huge part of that life died when Derek died, but that's my issue and my problem. I'll deal with it my own way. You deal with it in yours. Go, live like a normal person for at least a little bit. Besides, aren't the alpha twins on cross country? If Derek also took down a member of their pack, they are going to be looking for revenge. You can't leave Isaac and Scott without some back up."

"Scott isn't part of the pack," he reminded her.

"But Isaac is," she said.

Nodding, Boyd laced up his shoes and packed his bag.

"How are your wounds?" she finally thought to ask.

"Healed," he informed her. "Took most of the night, but they're barely scar tissue now."

"Okay," she hummed in the back of her throat. "Want me to make you breakfast?"

"I don't eat before a long run," he reminded her. She knew that - he had loved running when they had first met and used to schedule meals around his runs. That was right.

"Be safe," she wished him as he headed for the door. He was barely there before he turned around and pulled her into a tight hug.

"They'll come for you next," he said. "You be safe, too."

"I will," she promised. And then he pulled away and left. When Paige turned around, she found that Cora was wide awake and watching them.

"You take good care of them," she told the older girl. "Even if you are bossy." Cora threw back her blanket just as Paige decided to take that as a compliment. Stretching, Cora leaned forward, backward, side to side and then sighed. It seemed she had healed up just fine also. "I'm making breakfast and then we are going for his body," Cora decided.

Paige wanted to say something about the fact that she, as the alpha, would make the decisions from now on but the way Cora's eyes were ringed with red told Paige it would better to back down. She was hurting just as much.

Instead, she nodded and offered to cook Cora's favorite: sunny-side up.

Before they left, Paige decided that she wanted to use the bathroom. Stepping into her obnoxiously white bathroom, she paused to look in the mirror. She had forgotten that she had cut her hair and for a moment she had thought she was looking at a stranger. Everything was in disarray and she looked ill.

This wasn't how an alpha should look, she decided.

Pushing her hair off her face, she leaned in closer. There was nothing she could do for her paleness, that came with fatigue and stress. But she smeared on some cover up right underneath her eyes to hide the bags. Lining her eyes darkly, she made herself look like the kind of werewolf she was always aspiring to be. Lipstick of a deep red was then swept on to her mouth. If she did end up encountering the alpha pack while retrieving her mate's body, she wanted to look every bit like the alpha worthy of replacing Derek.

There was only one thing to finish this look.

Squinting a bit, Paige tried to light up her eyes. Nothing happened for a moment and she was forced to concentrate until something sparked up her irises. It... wasn't red. But it wasn't yellow either. Maybe a dirty orange? She tried again - this time they flashed yellow, to red, and then back to a dirty orange before extinguishing completely. Her head hurt so bad she didn't try again.

Gripping the sink, she realized something was wrong.

"Everything okay?" Cora asked, knocking on the door. "Your heart rate just spiked."

"Spider," Paige lied, pushing some hair off her face and pressing her eyes tightly closed.

"You are the alpha of a werewolf pack and you were startled by a spider?" the other girl scoffed. "Seriously?"

Paige whipped the door open. "Seriously," she answered. Grabbing her purse she commanded, "Let's go."

"You know their scent better than I do," Paige told Cora. The two were situated outside the abandoned mall, waiting to see if they would run into any alphas there. "Do you sense them?"

"They can hide their scent," she reminded the older girl.

"Just check," Paige ordered.

"I can't sense them," she finally decided. "Doesn't mean they aren't here, though."

Paige nodded and headed to the entrance. Immediately she realized, the alphas weren't here but Peter was.

"Peter!" she called out once she caught sight of him. He was standing by the broken down escalators, frowning at the floor.

"You shouldn't be here, Paige," he told her. "You shouldn't have to see the body - let me do it."

"My responsibility," she reminded him. "Where did he land?"

"Here," Cora left out a soft breath, coming to stand by Paige. "He fell from up there," she pointed. "And he landed right here."

"The alpha he took a tumble with is also gone," Peter noted.

Something inside Paige caught aflame - hope? Fear? She lifted her nose and just as the wind picked up, she caught a scent. Before she knew her feet were moving, she was already out of the building.

In the distance, Cora called out to her. Peter just scoffed and said, "She always does that."

But Paige flushed out all the noise around her. Either the alphas had taken his body with them, or he had survived the fall. His scent was unsteady and blood trail she quickly picked up on was erratic. There was no pattern to it. Either the alphas were leading her into a trap or Derek was struggling to move.

Her legs ached by the time she stopped, halting in front of the vet's office. Of course he would go here, she realized. This was a safe spot - a place of healing. This must mean that Derek was alive, if he had come here.

Two steps closer to the office and a voice rang out, "Hey!"

Paige's head whipped around to find one of the twins coming around the corner. Their eyes locked and time stood still. Then everything exploded - the alpha was almost on her before she threw herself back, out of his reach. She scraped her elbow on the ground before sliding to her feet. The alpha swung a fist at her, catching her right above the temple. As she fell to the ground, the pressure in her chest became overwhelming.

Derek wasn't alive. The alphas had taken his body with them when they came here. Her eyes were malfunctioning because she was weak and undeserving of the title of alpha, not because Derek was still alive. All her hope had been for nothing.

Not nothing, maybe.

Her hope had been for more than just her. It had been for Boyd, who couldn't imagine going to a cross country meet while his alpha lay dead somewhere. It had been for Isaac, who had fought for the man who had thrown him out and had cried her arms when that man perished in battle. It had been for Cora, who had only just been reintroduced to her brother, only to lose him again. It had been for Peter, who secretly relied on Derek's morality.

And now, that hope was gone. What was left?

The alpha crouched near her, leaned over her and grabbed a fistful of her hair.

Take away Derek and what was left for this group of werewolves?

His hand twisted her hair and lifted her head a foot off the ground, intending to slam it back down onto the asphalt.

What was left?

Her.

Grabbing his wrist, she wrapped her own hand around it and squeezed. The bones in his wrist popped under her grip and with a strangled groan he let her go. Within an instant, she was back on her feet, leg lashing out and catching him in the chest.

She didn't wait to see him if he was going to follow her as she took off. Without paying attention to where she was going, she let her feet take her as far from that clinic and that alpha as she could go. Gradually she reached a familiar area and slowed down but it wasn't until she reached a semi-public area that she realized the alpha had tracked after her. Pressing her feet deeper into the cement, she stalked onto the street.

The alpha hesitated behind her but pressed forward after her.

It wouldn't take much to kill him... She was an alpha now - she could destroy another alpha, right?

If she got him alone...

But someone on the street glanced at her and gasped. Paige frowned at the unknown woman and quickly the stranger averted her eyes and walked fasted down the street, away from the girl. Paige scowled after her and reached up. The wound on her head had closed and there was no residual blood at all. Why was she so scared?

Looking back, Paige realized the alpha was officially gone. Fine.

She needed some coffee anyways. Ducking into the nearest shop, she strutted up to the barista and demanded a small latte. The man behind the counter took one look at her and then his eyebrows shot up in shock. Then he seemed to calm down as she paid.

"Nice contacts," he complimented. "Are you cosplaying or something?"

Paige blinked at him and then nearly sprinted to the bathroom. She startled the teenage girl applying lip gloss in the mirror, but she didn't care. Her eyes were glowing red. Not the dirty orange, not the flickering red to yellow.

They were just red.

Leaning against the counter, Paige took a deep breath. She hadn't even noticed that her eyes had shifted. That was so dangerous, she could have exposed everyone. She waited for the random girl to finish her makeup and leave before concentrating on shifting her eyes back to normal. It felt like she was removing irritating contacts, but when she finally blinked her eyes back open, they were back to normal.

So that was that, then.

If her eyes were so completely red - Derek was really, truly gone.

There wasn't time to cry. She needed to get back to Peter and Cora and tell them that the alphas took Derek's body and they were probably never going to get it back. Her order was ready, she realized before she even left the bathroom. The scent of latte reached her nostrils and completely invaded them.

This must be the power of an alpha, she realized. Her senses were even better than before.

She took her drink and left. The barista tried to say something about her eyes being normal again, but she ignored him. Entering the outside was like an explosion of new scents and smells. When she had been bitten, everything had seemed so new. Now, everything had been renewed. Except for the one person who had had to die to make this possible.

Her nose picked up his scent still clinging to her, the mate-scent that would stay with her forever... and then a burst of his scent in the wind.

Tensing, she dropped her drink.

There it was, right there, lingering in front of her. Derek's scent whisping up and down this street. How was that possible?

She didn't care.

Snatching a huge whiff of it, she took off towards the freshest patch. One long road down, turn right, her feet kept going. When the high school came into focus, Paige frowned. Why the high school? Why would they bring his body here?

Except...

There was a figure in the parking lot. It was a tall, broad, and bloody figure, stumbling off the grass and onto the cement of the parking lot.

Paige didn't need alpha vision to know who that was.

"Derek!" she nearly wailed, tripping over her first step closer to him. The figure stopped and swayed as it turned. There was so much blood, but it was him. His eyes blinked at her and he was alive.

Within an instant, she was next to him, her arms around him. He fell against her and sighed as the two of them sunk to the floor.

"How?" she whispered into his hair. His breathing was so deep and even that she knew he had fallen asleep instantly in her arms. "I don't care how," she decided aloud.

He was alive.

Her alpha, her mate, her lover was alive.

Every time I close my eyes

It's like a dark paradise

No one compares to you

I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side