I spent the rest of the lunch break hiding out in the janitor's closet, trying to figure out what to do about Cat. I thought about finding her and dragging her in here with me, or texting her and asking her to meet me here. But no, I wouldn't want her to misinterpret my intentions in getting her someplace private. So maybe somewhere public. But it couldn't be too public, given the private nature of the things we needed to discuss… and certainly not in front of our other friends. I settled on meeting her after school at a park nearby - definitely public, but away from our other friends or anyone who might interrupt us. The park was on the way to her house, so she would be going past there anyway. It just meant I would have to forego my lift home with Trina and walk home myself afterwards. I sent Cat a simple text saying we needed to talk, and asking her to meet me at the designated time and place. I breathed a sigh of relief a couple minutes later when she texted me back agreeing.

My afternoon classes went by in a blur, as I couldn't concentrate and just kept counting down the minutes until the final bell. I texted Trina and told her not to wait for me, then set out for the park. When I arrived, Cat was already there, sitting on a bench at the edge of the park, hands fidgeting nervously in her lap, her bag beside her and her bicycle chained to a rack nearby. There were a few younger kids playing on the equipment nearby, but otherwise the park was mostly empty.

I walked up to her slowly, and gave what I hoped was a reassuring smile when she saw me. "Hey."

She shot me a small uncertain smile in return. "Hi." I sat down beside her, trying to pick an appropriate distance that wouldn't seem either too close or too far away. There was an awkward silence for a couple seconds as we both studied our feet, then I worked up the nerve to start.

"So… I'm sorry I haven't really spoken to you much the last couple days." I glanced sideways at her. She was still looking down, a small frown on her face now, the gentle afternoon breeze blowing stray wisps of ruby-coloured hair around her troubled face. "I was just… confused about what happened on the weekend. I've never done anything like that before, and I didn't know how to react… I still don't. But… those are my issues, not yours. And I shouldn't have made you suffer because of it. So, I'm sorry I ignored you, and I really hope we can stay friends like we've always been, and that it won't be too awkward now."

Cat turned to look at me, the worry beginning to dissipate from her face. "You're saying you still want to be friends?"

"Yes! I'm sorry if I made you think I didn't. I really do! You're one of my best friends Cat, and I don't want that to change. I'm certain of that. It's the other stuff - the sex stuff - that's got me freaked out."

"When you ran out on Sunday morning, then didn't talk to me or Jade at school, I was worried that I'd ruined everything - that we wouldn't be friends anymore and it would be all my fault."

"I know that now, and I really am sorry. My bedroom manners suck. I suck. I'm a suckish friend. I hope you'll forgive me."

She smiled at me - a genuine, relaxed smile of happiness and relief. "You're forgiven."

With those two words, it felt like a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and I could relax for the first time since Sunday morning. I let out a sigh of relief. Then something she had just said registered with me. "Why would it have been your fault? Surely Jade is the one who's more responsible…"

"It was my idea for the threesome," Cat said, with a small giggle.

"Your idea?!" I groaned as I felt the heavy weight settle back down upon me. "Oh man. Now I owe Jade an apology as well. I was blaming her. I thought it was part of some plan she had to mess with me. She must be so mad at me."

"You seem to have that effect on her a lot," commented Cat.

"God! Was it this confusing when you and Jade started sleeping together?" Now that I had a friend (again) who I could actually talk to about this, all my pent-up frustration and confusion was coming out.

"A little bit, at least in the beginning. Then we just got used to it and it became a part of our friendship. An occasional part. There was never any pressure to do it. I think being friends first takes a lot of the pressure away. We still did all the other friend stuff together that we'd always done, but now we had something else we would sometimes do when the mood struck us. I dunno'… It just seemed to work. And if Jade ever thought I was losing sight of where the boundaries lay, she'd make me repeat the phrase: The first word in 'friends with benefits' is 'friends.' It was like, a reminder that we were just friends, and a promise that we would stay friends regardless of the…" She let out a little giggle. "…'benefits.'"

"But what about the fact that you were 'doing it' with another girl?! Didn't that, like, freak you out? Even a little?"

Cat shrugged. "It just seemed natural at the time. Maybe it's because me and Jade are both kinda uninhibited - it just never bothered us."

I sighed. "God. Maybe Jade is right. Maybe I am a prude!" I shook my head. "I just never thought that I would end up having sex with a girl. And two at once, no less! Does this mean that I like girls now? Am I a lesbian?"

"Tori, you're talking like it's an either/or situation. You know, you are allowed to like both. I do. And if you decide that you really do only like one, then that's okay too. We're horny teenagers - we're supposed to experiment. Here, let me show you something." She got out her Pearphone and pulled up a picture on it. "There. Do you think that's a nice picture?" I stared at it for a few seconds, then smiled.

"Yeah, that is nice. And why do you have a picture of shirtless Beck on your phone? And more importantly, does Jade know?" Cat just smiled cryptically and put her phone away.

"See Tori. You still like guys. Now you just need to figure out the girl part." She paused for a moment, then continued tentatively. "So… did you enjoy last weekend?"

I thought for a second then answered honestly. "Yes. I did enjoy it. Quite a bit, actually."

"So did I." She half-turned on the park-bench so she was facing me more fully, and rested her chin on one small fist, regarding me seriously with deep brown eyes. "And if that's the only time we ever do that, then it will be a memory I'll always treasure, and we don't even have to mention it again of you don't want to. No pressure. But if you do decide that you… need some more 'help' figuring out whether you're attracted to girls, you know where to find me." She smiled flirtatiously and shot me a cheeky wink.

"Cat Valentine!" I said in a mock-serious tone, smiling back. "Did you just make a pass at me?"

"Only if you want it to be! If not, then it's just a joke between friends!" She hopped to her feet with a throaty laugh. "I have to get home, but call me if you want to talk some more. Friends first, remember?"

"Friends first!" I heartily agreed. "No matter what else."

Cat retrieved her bicycle from the bike-rack and climbed on, then looked back at me. "Oh, and Tori? You might want to apologise to Jade before she really does come up with some plan to mess with you. Bye!" And with that cheery farewell she was off and away down the street, tanned skin glowing golden and hair shining crimson in the bright afternoon sunlight.