A statue, like one of those in Rome that has a frozen expression of fear, confusion, and shock written on its face in marble for all eternity. That's what his face looked like when that tiny, giddy girl held on to his legs for what seemed like forever. I never expected Sherlock Holmes, the man infamous for being unable to properly emote like a normal human being, to fully take on the idea of being a father. I never really expected him to even care that he had a child at all. That's why I never told him. But now that it's out, now that he knows, all I wanted was for him to at least tell the girl hello. But no. Instead he just stood there like the broken man he is. Lillian loosened her grip and stepped back a few steps.
"Mummy… did I break him?" I can't deny that her innocent little words broke my heart a bit.
"No, sweetheart. He was broken long before you came along…" I was starting to get angry. He could be cold and heartless to me, but he was not going to do it to my little girl. "Sherlo-" I started to raise my voice to him but he cut me off in midsentence, yelling at the top of his lungs.
"Mrs. Hudson! Come here at once!"
"Sherlo-" He cut me off again. I was starting to get infuriated.
"Mrs. Hudson! NOW!" Lilli came back over to me. He was starting to frighten her. I put my hand on her.
"Sherlo-" This time I was interrupted by a frantic Mrs. Hudson stumbling into the flat, gasping for air.
"Wha… What is the matter Sherlock!?" She was so out of breath that she had to lean on the door frame to keep from falling over.
"Mrs. Hudson, this is Lillian. Lillian, this is Mrs. Hudson. She is going to take you downstairs and get you some tea and biscuits. Isn't that right, Mrs. H?" He spoke with remarkable speed.
"Wha…" Mrs. Hudson was so confused, and still out of breath.
"Isn't that right, Mrs. H?" This time his voice was more demanding. The flustered old lady jumped a bit, and then came into the room and bent over to Lilli.
"Hello, dearie! Do you want to come with me now? I think I have a box of Jammie Dodgers in the cupboard with your name on it!" Lilli just cocked her head at the funny lady.
"How can they have my name on them? You've only just met me?" She was odd like that. Always asking questions that normal children would not think to ask. Mrs. Hudson was a little confused by the girl's inquiry.
"They… umm…" She was stopped mid-thought by Sherlock taking her and Lilli by the back and practically shoving them out the door.
"Fascinating question, Lillian. Mrs. Hudson can explain in detail with you downstairs." He pushed them into the hallway and quickly closed the door. He spun on his heels, and within a second had me pushed up against the table. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON, IRENE! You better start talking fast, or I'm going to get extremely angry!" This wasn't angry? His voice was so loud, I'm pretty sure the queen could hear him! He startled me a bit, but he didn't scare me. It takes a lot to scare me. He was steaming. I just sighed and placed my hand on his chest.
"Oh, Sherlock, you're not happy to learn that you have a daughter?" I started to push him aside, but he grabbed my wrist, flung me around, and threw me into his chair. This wasn't going how I thought it would. "What the hell, Sherlock!" He began to pace around the flat in an angry, panicked mess.
"You knew… YOU KNEW! For FOUR YEARS!" He came up right in front of me in a rage of fury and pointed an accusing finger in my face. "GOD!" He slammed his hands onto his face, did a pirouette, and somehow landed perfectly in John's chair. He put his elbows on his knees and began to message his temples.
"What are you all worked up about? You're acting like a sentimental idiot." I crossed my legs and leaned back in the chair.
"… sentiment…" He just continued as he was, staring at the floor.
"Yes. I recall you telling me that it was a chemical defect… You're not going to tell me you've gained a heart since I last saw you?" Was this the final straw? Was this the event that would bring the famous detective down to the level of the "ordinary" people, as he called them. I'd never seen him this flustered. I was almost proud of myself for getting him in this state.
"I've always had a heart… I just choose to ignore it." He sat up, placing his arms on the arms of the chair.
"So, what… This is what you're like when you use it? Because if that's the case-" He cut me off. I didn't appreciate that that kept happening.
"I don't care that she's mine. I don't care that you're raising her. I just want to know why."
"Why what?"
"Why did you not tell me?" He looked directly into my eyes. His crystal gaze took me by surprise. You could almost see the heart the he had locked up deep inside.
"I didn't think you would care." His stern expression melted into one of heartbreak. Heartbreak? Sherlock Holmes, heartbroken?
"I might not be sentimental, but I'm not heartless." I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I used to think there was a living, breathing human being underneath the machine that he was, but I had long sense dismissed such thinking. Now, I wasn't quite sure. We sat in silence for a moment.
"Are you sure that's not the drugs talking? … I see Moriarty's return has required you to use some 'mind sharpeners'." He gave me a look. "That's right. You're not the only 'smart' person in this room." I was always an intelligent person, but ever since I met Sherlock all those years ago, I decided to actually make a conscious effort to hone my perceptive skills.
Our gazes were locked, and you could cut the atmosphere in the room with a knife. Our little "moment" was quickly interrupted by a commotion coming up the stairs.
"No no no no no… Sweetheart, come back!" Mrs. Hudson's voice sounded desperate. "Sherlock's busy he-" She was cut off by the sound of the door to the flat busting open.
"Mummy, this lady is an idiot! I can't stand another minute with her!" Lillian was frustrated beyond belief. She was the spitting image of her father.
"Lilli, that's not-" I was cut off by a four year old! This was getting ridiculous!
"No! She keeps asking me stupid questions, and talking to me like I'm brain dead!" Poor Mrs. Hudson looked like a mess. She didn't know how to handle the whirlwind that was Lillian Elizabeth Adler.
"Sherlock, I'm sorry! I tried to-" Lilli cut off Mrs. Hudson.
"Stop talking, lady! You're lowering my IQ with every word!" Sometimes she was a sweet perfect angel, and you would never be able to tell that she was the daughter of Sherlock Holmes. This was not one of those times.
I glanced over at Sherlock. Was that a smile I saw creeping over his face?
"It's fine Mrs. Hudson. She can stay." Lilli stopped in her rage towards the old lady, and turned to her father. She gave him a look of surprise mixed with sarcasm, if you can imagine such an expression.
"Really… now you want me to stay? You practically threw me out earlier!" Lilli had a way of talking sometimes that made her sound ten years older that she was.
"Sherlock, what exactly is going-" Lillian spun around and glared a death stare at Mrs. Hudson.
"LEAVE!" Lilli screamed at the top of her little lungs. Mrs. Hudson nearly jumped out of her skin. She quickly retreated back down the stairs, and Lilli slammed the door shut. "PEOPLE!" Lilli huffed and stormed over to Sherlock. "You!" His face did not give off a very impressed appearance. "You have yet to say anything even remotely important to me!"
I wasn't planning on staying this long, but how could I leave now? Things were just now starting to get interesting!