Title: Panacea
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: NC-17 overall
Characters/Pairing:Law/Sanji
Chapter: 7/?
Word Count: 3276
Summary: There's something in his demeanor, the way he hides his true feelings whenever they start to unconsciously slip out, that speaks volumes. And Sanji would hardly consider himself somebody that wants to fixpeople but, well, he likes a challenge, and Law presents a rather giant one.
Spoilers:For recent-ish chapters, but this is set before Dressrosa.

Chapter Seven

Consciousness hits him like a bucket of cold water to the face, gasping his way out of the darkness and almost screaming because it might hurt worse than before. "Glad you're back," Law's not bothering to hide the relief in his eyes, but the tightness to his mouth says that they're not out of the woods yet. "I refuse to do this next part without your permission, so…"

"Fuck, you wanna…cut me open?" Sanji can't quite believe he's saying those words without breaking down into hysterics, but there's something really screwed up about his lover being the same person who's literally going to cut his body into pieces.

"Yes," Law nods, and to his credit his voice is still fairly steady. "Mr. Tony and I both agree you're bleeding far too much for a normal stomach injury and your supplies on this ship are limited enough that I have to resort to using my power. But only if you consent," he adds, and Sanji doesn't think he's got a choice, really.

"Yeah. Hurts," the last word comes out as a whine that he's too far gone to be embarrassed about, and Law strokes his hair off of his forehead, nodding.

"I know. We'll give you a sedative and some painkillers now, and perhaps something stronger once we can assess how much damage that sword did," he moves his hand to cup Sanji's face, thumb stroking along the ridge of his cheekbone, and Sanji closes his eyes and tries to focus on that and not the excruciating pain in his stomach. "Sanji, stay with me."

He opens his eyes with more effort than before, not even able to feel any giddiness that Law had used his name. " 'm here."

"Good. You trust me to do this, then?" Law's looking directly at him and it's kind of intense, but Sanji nods tightly.

"Yeah. Whatever you need to," he's still trying not to think too hard about it, but since he'll be unconscious it's not like he'll remember any of it. He hopes. And at least if Law's using his ability he's probably not going to lose any more blood, so that part's relieving.

He can hear a clattering from outside and Law bends down quickly and kisses him, pulling away when the door opens and the distinct sound of Chopper's hooves on the wooden floor reaches them.

"Sanji!" the little reindeer is sniffling, tears in his eyes when he hops up beside the bed, and Sanji tries to force a smile onto his face.

"Hey. Don't worry, Chopper. I've got you two…looking after me so…I'm gonna be fine…" he promises, needing to believe it himself as much as he wants Chopper to. "Right?"

"Yeah. Right," Chopper nods and picks up a syringe, blinking away some tears. "This is the sedative. It should knock you out pretty quickly."

"Okay," he can barely feel the needle, not with how much pain he's in otherwise, and he feels Law grip his hand and looks up at him. "See you on the other side."

000

The next time he wakes up, a quick glance around is all it takes to realize he's not on the ship anymore and he momentarily panics although he knows better than to think they'd just…leave him somewhere. The second thing he realizes is that he's in remarkably little pain, and he lifts the sheet off of his body carefully, seeing the bandages covering his stomach and huffing a relieved breath that he's in one piece again.

"About time, shitty cook."

"Marimo," he glances at Zoro, who's sitting beside the bed and frowning. The swordsman looks tired and Sanji wonders how long he's been out.

"Three days," Zoro answers the unspoken question, Sanji nodding and not even bothering to wonder how Zoro had known what he was thinking. "And we ran into another island a couple of days ago."

So that explains the room, Sanji thinks, trying to sit up and eventually managing to get himself braced against the headboard. "Were you worried?"

"Like hell. I was glad to have your annoying, prissy ass quiet for a while," Zoro grunts and Sanji smiles to himself, because that's all the answer he needs. Sure, he and Zoro might never admit to it, but he'd miss the other man if he wasn't there and he knows Zoro feels the same toward him.

"Yeah, well, you're stuck with me," he reaches for his cigarettes and frowns when he can't find them.

"Law says not to smoke," Zoro smirks and Sanji rolls his eyes but can't do much about it. "And that was a fucking stupid thing to do. You never leave your back exposed."

"Heard somebody fall in the water," Sanji grunts. "I wanted to make sure it wasn't one of us."

Zoro looks a little taken-aback by that because it's not like he can really say anything to it since he would have done the same, but eventually he shrugs. "Yeah, well, still, you're damn lucky Law was with us…" he cuts off then, clearing his throat, and Sanji feels inwardly horrible for making all of them worry.

"I thought you didn't trust him," he says instead.

"I don't. But he saved your life, so I guess he's not horrible," Zoro concedes, and Sanji smiles to himself because that's at least a partial victory.

"Where is he, anyway?"

"Sleeping, probably. I guess the downside to that power of his is that using it takes a bunch of energy, and he was…it took a long time," he finishes and Sanji feels even more guilty because he'd never meant to put anybody through pain just because he was an idiot. "Which you should get back to doing."

" 'm not tired," Sanji protests, but he's already slumping back toward the pillows and he knows he won't be able to keep his eyes open for much longer.

"Sleep, Cook," Zoro urges and Sanji sinks against the bed and closes his eyes, dropping off almost immediately.

000

He's not sure what wakes him for the third time since the…incident, but there's somebody in the bed with him, arm over his waist and fingers spread against his chest, and he moves his own hand to place over Law's, lacing his fingers with the doctor's.

"Welcome back," Law murmurs in his ear.

"Yeah. Hey," Sanji lets himself drift, more than a little comfortable in that moment. "I'm sorry…"

"No, don't apologize."

"But Zoro told me that you…that you had to use a lot of energy to save me, and I never meant…"

"It's nothing," Law says firmly. "It tires me out, that's all, but it's not damaging in the long run. And it was necessary."

"Yeah. So what was…"

"I doubt you want to know the gory details," Law replies. "And I've done what I can but you're still going to have a couple of scars, but there's no lasting internal damage and you're lucky that none of your vital organs were pierced. I can do a lot with my ability, but I wouldn't be able to help with that."

"Still, thank you," Sanji glances over his shoulder but Law holds him in place. "I guess I've totally fucked up all your plans now, huh?"

"Well, yes, but your life is far more important than my revenge plot," Law sounds sure of that, at least. "Although I have to note that for all of your talk about my life mattering, you're remarkably quick to throw your own away in defense of a fellow crewmate," he remarks and Sanji thinks about that for a second.

"I'm not trying to die," Sanji eventually says. "But I…if I can do something to save one of them? I'm gonna do it. That's still a little different than dying just to get revenge," he can't help but add and he feels Law's body tense at that. "Law, fuck, I…"

"No, you're well within your rights to say that as it's true," Law gently tugs at his shoulder and Sanji gets the hint and rolls over, his stomach aching a little but still in amazingly little pain. They stare at each other for a few moments, Sanji not sure where this is going or what's exactly happening. Law still looks exhausted, the dark circles under his eyes more prevalent than ever, and Sanji nudges his head under the doctor's chin and closes his eyes. "All I can promise you is that I won't go looking to get killed, but if I have to give myself up to protect any of you, I will not hesitate to do so. And after what you just said I think it would be extremely hypocritical to fault me for that."

"Not gonna," Sanji grunts, because Law's right, and his words had damn near echoed Sanji's own. "How long do we have to stay here?" he changes the subject and Law hums thoughtfully.

"A couple more days. You should be able to move around by tonight and truth be told I'm going to take longer to recover than you will," his words are slurring by now and Sanji moves back so he can wiggle up to be level with him, leaning closer and sighing in relief when Law moves to kiss him. "You said my name," Sanji mumbles against his lips, and it's a weird thing to bring up but his brain's kind of sluggish at the moment. "Before, you…"

"I did," Law admits. "I thought it would startle you enough to keep you conscious, and I was correct," and of course he has to use a fucking excuse, Sanji thinks, although he's really not in the mood for Law's half-truths right now.

"Yeah, whatever," he doesn't have the energy to roll away so he just closes his eyes and Law laughs softly, stroking his hair.

"Does it really mean that much to you?"

Sanji thinks about that for a second, because he's not exactly sure why he's so pissed about it, but he guesses it has to do with it being just one more way Law treats him like everybody else and, as naive as it is, he'd like to think he's somehow…different in the other man's eyes.

"Sanji."

"Hmm?" he blinks, suddenly realizing what had happened and breaking into a slow smile. "Now, was that so hard?"

"Of course not," Law does look half-asleep, though, so that might have something to do with how agreeable he's being. "I'm beginning to think trying to…hide myself from you is more exhausting than just letting you in and hoping you don't run away screaming," he purses his lips into a thin line and Sanji sighs, somehow not surprised they've come around to this again.

"I'm not gonna. I know you're not a bad person, and anyway, even if I decided to blab about how you're really a nice guy, which I won't, d'you really think anybody's gonna believe me considering the reputation you've built for yourself?" he asks and Law seems to consider that for a moment, eventually nodding.

"No. You're right, of course. I do have to warn you that me at my most open is still far less than most people, but I…don't think it's beneficial for either of us for me to continue to pretend I'm unaffected by all of this," he brushes Sanji's hair back with his hand and Sanji twitches his fingers a bit, resisting the urge to keep his right eye covered because yeah, he might not have many secrets and it might be really vain but he's always going to be self-conscious about his eyebrows. "Speaking of things that mean a lot to you…"

"It's always bugged me," he shrugs. "I mean, considering some of the people I've seen I know having weird eyebrows isn't a big deal, but…"

"To you it is," Law nods.

"And besides, you're…" Sanji stops because that's probably getting in too deep but Law quirks an eyebrow and he sighs, knowing he should continue. "Physically. You're perfect."

"Perhaps, but emotionally I'm the biggest fucked up mess you'll ever encounter, so you see, it all balances out," he says firmly and Sanji kisses him in response, needing Law to know that it doesn't matter, but Law holds his shoulder and keeps him back. "Not that I don't want to participate in this, but right now I'm fighting to keep my eyes open and I think that can wait," he murmurs, Sanji reluctantly agreeing but tilting his head so he can press his lips to Law's forehead instead.

When he moves back down Law's not bothering to hide his surprise, eyes wide in a way that almost looks innocent. "What? You did that to me after we…" he shrugs, because 'fucked' seems too impersonal now but 'made love' is miles away from what their relationship will ever be.

"I did. I suppose I'm always going to be amazed that there are people in this world who willingly wish to treat me with affection and expect nothing in return. It's…"

"Hey, I'm not that selfless," Sanji mutters, but he's not offended at all. There's something endearing and yet deeply ironic that a man with hearts all over his body has no concept of what love is, but Sanji supposes it's more tragic than anything.

"I wouldn't expect you to be," Law yawns halfway through that sentence and then blinks, sighing quietly. "Forgive me."

"Nah, I should shut up and let you sleep," Sanji replies, tucking his legs in and smiling when Law turns to hold him, being careful of his injuries in a way that's truly appreciated.

He briefly thinks about getting up, just to see if he can, but the bed is warm and comfortable and he really, really can't be bothered to.

000

"Sanji?"

"Hey, Chopper," Sanji looks up, unable to move too much without jostling Law and since the older man's still fast asleep he doesn't really want to disturb him. "Something wrong?"

"No, just checking on you," Chopper hops up on a chair beside the bed, looking at the two of them with a smile. "He was really worried. He tried not to show it, but I know."

"I'm just glad he was around," Sanji replies and Chopper nods.

"Yeah. I mean, I'm a pretty good doctor, but there are things he can do that nobody else can and that's what saved you," he sniffles a little and Sanji reaches out, brushing against his fur.

"I'm fine, Chopper," he says calmly and Chopper rubs his eyes and clears his throat.

"You guys look comfortable," it's an awkward topic change but Sanji knows that Chopper's trying to keep his own emotions under control so he goes with it.

"I guess," he shrugs, not knowing how much Chopper wants to know about them.

"Do you love him?"

And it's asked with such innocence that Sanji can't even be angry, although he still barks a rather incredulous laugh. "No! That's not what…this isn't about that! And besides, it won't do me any good to get in this too deep, not with him being not only a rival pirate captain but a damn privateer," he doesn't begrudge Law becoming a Warlord, because he'd done it solely for information and not to use the title as an excuse to get away with doing horrible things, but there's still something inherently wrong about being a pirate serving the government.

"Does it matter?" Chopper shrugs.

"Yeah, of course it does. I'm not getting involved with somebody that's gonna end up as our rival one of these days," he's not really sure if Law would ever oppose them, but the chance is still there and he's not going to even get into a question of loyalty toward his captain and crew and emotional attachment to who he's fucking because that would make him look horrible.

And there's only one choice, anyway, no matter how much he might like what's going on with Law right now.

"He's not."

Sanji looked over his shoulder, seeing Luffy standing in the doorway and looking strangely serious. "Torao wouldn't."

"Yeah, I hope he doesn't, either, but there's only so far alliances go and he's got his own agenda," Sanji tries to squirm away but Law's arms are tight around him, the other man still asleep, and Sanji really doesn't want him to wake up. "I know you put a lot of trust in people, Luffy, and I know you owe him your life, but that doesn't mean he feels the same loyalty."

"He's not a bad person," Luffy insists, frowning. "You know that."

"I've never said he is," Sanji closes his eyes and buries his nose in Law's hair, trying to figure out why he's the one fighting this so hard when up until now he's been trying to get Law to loosen up.

"You're scared," Luffy says suddenly, and Sanji should be offended by that but he decides to hear Luffy out. "You're worried 'cuz he's not gonna be with us forever and you're trying to stay distant because it's gonna end soon."

And he's right, damn him, but Luffy's not nearly as naïve as people seem to think and right now he gets it.

"Is it worth it?" Chopper pipes up and Sanji still doesn't look, but he shrugs his shoulders to let the others know he's listening. "Isn't it more work to try and hide what you're feeling than just enjoy it for whatever time you've got?"

"I'm not gonna let him die, Sanji," Luffy vows. "I'm never letting anybody I care about die ever again."

"You can't promise that!" Sanji tries to keep his voice down but it still breaks a little. He knows Luffy will try, he's told Law as much, but in the end just wanting something isn't always enough.

"I can. I have," Luffy sounds sure. "Whatever happens with that birdman, it'll be okay in the end."

Sanji finally looks when Luffy's hand lands on his shoulder, squeezing gently. "I know you'll try your damn hardest," he concedes and Luffy snickers and pats his back.

"Yeah. So stop worrying so much. I might not get sex, but I know what love is, and it's stupid to pretend you're not feeling something when it's only gonna be better once you admit it, right?" he looks expectant and Sanji's hardly going to let him down.

He nods, not trusting his voice, and Luffy hops away.

"I'm really glad you're okay, Sanji," he adds. "Because I'm hungry, and Nami's cooking sucks…"

"What did you say about my cooking?!"

"Uh-oh," Luffy zips from the room and Sanji can hear the clatter of Nami's heels outside the room, presumably chasing him down.

"He's right, you know," Chopper puts in. "Even if it hurts for a while, it's better than spending your life regretting not giving all you could, I think."

Sanji sighs and nods. "Yeah. Thanks, Chopper."

Chopper beams at him and gets up, padding carefully over to the door. "I'll come wake you up in a little bit, okay? Then maybe you can try walking around."

"Sounds good," Sanji's still thinking about what they'd said, knowing that it completely echoes his own thoughts and to try and deny that he feels the same is foolish. Maybe he's just trying to protect himself and that's a coward's move, but there's a part of him that doesn't quite believe Law's capable of feeling as much as a normal person, or at least, he won't be able to until he settles this…thing with Doflamingo.

Law sighs in his sleep, brow furrowing a little before his features smooth out again, and Sanji wonders just how fucked he is.

Notes:

1. I apologize that this chapter was just…a lot of talking and introspection, but I've had a lot of comments that people want to see their relationship develop a little more and while trying to keep it plausibly in-character apparently that means a lot of emotional angst.

2. Thanks again to everybody that's reading and especially commenting :)