Chapter four

Highway of hell

Liability

The drive was short and quiet, filled with Shane shooting the girl seated in the passenger seat of his jeep glances every now and then as well as tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

It was either the staring or tapping. Maybe it was the fact they had just escaped certain death but something was getting on Jane's nerves. Feeling Shane's eyes on her again, she turned her head and met his gaze. "Something on your mind, Shane?"

It was probably a stupid question, and considering the fact that she knew he wasn't overly ecstatic to have her around, it would have been safer to remain silent.

Shane clenched his jaw. He couldn't ignore her presence, which was irritating in itself, but now she had caught him looking at her. "Nah, I was just wondering if you made a habit of hitting people is all." He stated with the tiniest hint of a smirk. It really was a sight to behold of a tiny, quiet, young woman right hooking a fully grown man. Especially one that was confining them to their death, it was an action that had earned the woman a sliver of respect.

"Not sure," Jane mused with a smile of her own as she rested her elbow on the doorframe and dropped her head into her awaiting palm, "I'll be sure to let you know if I do."

Shane chuckled and nodded before shaking his head to himself.

Maybe it was the fact that they had barely escaped death, but for one reason or another driving away from the CDC and all of the memories, it gave him a moment of peace. It was short lived, like the drive but none the less for the first time since Rick had come back into his life, his smile and laugh - as small as it might have been - were genuine.

Jane did as she was told; she stayed in formation right in the centre with the other woman and their children surrounded by a circle of men. She knew she should have been focused on feeling protected, a sense of security but if she was being honest with herself, it felt like she was being treated like a child; That all the woman we're being treated like they were made of porcelain.

Maybe that was just the way things were; you did as you were told and you remained protected. If you stepped outside of the circle then you were on your own. To be honest she wasn't sure what to make of that thought.

"Clear." Rick stated after they had reached the top floor of the building. Excluding any locked doors, there hadn't been any walkers which was something everyone was grateful for. "We'll spend the night here," He continued "I don't want anyone leaving this room unless you're on watch."

Everyone had broken formation as Rick explained that they would sleep in this room and that there was a bathroom connected to the office they were in, which everyone could use.

Jane crossed her arms just below her chest and she silently watched as mothers held tightly onto their children, and everyone checked on the people they cared the most for.

It was interesting in a way. It was the first real time she could see the smaller groups within the big group. First there was the Grimes family, which seemed to branch out to Carol and her daughter, as well as Shane. Then there was Dale. He obviously cared for Andrea since he was willing to die for her but he also seemed close with Glenn. TDog didn't check on anyone; neither did Daryl.

Jane supposed she was like those two, the outsiders within the group, but she couldn't be sure because the three men - TDog, Daryl and Glenn - appeared to be close friends at the CDC. So maybe she was making something out of nothing.

"Jane?" Glenn spoke from beside her, catching her off guard, "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He stated with a cheeky grin.

"Its fine," Jane mumbled, rubbing at the back of her neck.

"I just wanted to check in," Glenn stated, receiving a confused look from Jane, "Everyone's kind of...well rattled." He explained with a sigh, "How're you holding up?"

Jane blinked. He was checking on her? Why? "I'm alright." She stated. It wasn't a complete lie but it wasn't really the truth either.

"You're sure...?" He pressed with an eyebrow raised, "I mean no offence, but you kind of lost it back there."

"Me?" She laughed with a smile, "Compared to who?" It was an honest question, when Jane thought about the events that took place ten minutes ago. She thought about Daryl trying to kill Jenner - not once, but twice - and Shane threatening to blow his head off. Half the woman were in tears, as well as their children, not that she could blame them. As well as one suicide, and one attempted suicide. Compared to all that she thought she was fairly level headed.

"I'm good." Jane stated with a confirming nod.

It was late, and the fire they had made out of a trash can was running low, casting a dim light around the room, making the shadows stand out and move across the walls like a stalking pry. Something that Jane was staring blankly at.

She couldn't help but wonder if she was scared of the dark as a child, or maybe she had gone on family camping trips where they huddled around a campfire. In truth, she was longing to have another memory; anything that would make her feel more normal, but the more she pushed it and thought of the possibilities of the 'what if's', the more she hit a wall in her brain.

The group was more or less huddled around the make shift camp fire, with the exception of Daryl who had dragged a desk over to the door and was sitting on top of it with his cross bow beside him. The conversation had died down some as the Grimes family held each other close, with Shane to their left and Carol holding Sophia to their right.

Jane's eyes continue to shift around the group. T-Dog was sitting next to Sophia, Glenn was beside him, then Dale and Andrea, who had caught her stare. The other woman's expression was far away as she held Jane's gaze.

"You're lucky," Andrea stated, shifting her gaze back to the fire. "Not being able to remember. You don't have to deal with the loss; the grief of losing someone close to you."

Jane sucked in her lower lip to wet it. She understood what Andrea was saying, even if she hadn't had a real taste of it, and by the sound of the thick silence, everyone around her seemed to agree. Furrowing her eyebrows, she looked down at her hands resting in her lap, I want to remember...I don't want to feel like this.

But the words never left her mouth. She couldn't tell the ones that wanted to forget their pain that she felt empty other than the fear of the unknown picking away at her.

"Did you hit your head?" Carl asked, pulling Jane and everyone else from their thoughts, "You know, like they do on TV?"

"Maybe," Jane replied with a soft smile as she shrugged her shoulder, "Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you." She stated a little more hopeful as the conversation came to an end for the night. Jane couldn't help but hope that the lack of her memory wouldn't be brought up again.

Jane knew what she was seeing wasn't real, or at the least it wasn't currently happening.

Her eyes had began to sting - either from tears or the god awful stench that the walkers tracked in, she wasn't sure which - and she watched frozen in place as walkers tore into the people around her. Her eyes shifted over the carnage of dead and undead bodies; the human people still trying desperately to fight back.

She was back in the house she had woken up in, standing in the middle of the living room that had been cover in dry blood. Bringing her hand up to cover her mouth and hold back the sob that tightened her throat, she realized that this was most likely what had happened.

"Come on! We gotta go!" A woman shouted over the crying, screaming and snarling that had been the constant sound in the room. Jane's eyes turned to the woman that she couldn't make out through the tears that blurred her vision.

"We can't leave them like this." A big man stated as he embedded his axe into a skull of a walker.

"They're dead! If we stay, we will be too." She argued, fighting off walkers. The two made eye contact as a silent conversation flowed through them.

"Everyone! Get to the cars!" The man bellowed, albeit regretfully.

"My sister!" another man cried, no older than twenty as he held a limp figure in his arms.

"She's dead!" The woman snapped as she took down another walker with her hatchet.

"Come on James. Leave her." Another man stated, pulling the younger man's arm.

"So they can feed on her?" The man now known as 'James' replied, disbelievingly,

"Here, bring her over." Reluctantly, the man followed dragging his sisters body by her upper half, out of Jane's line of sight.

Jane sat staring blankly at the shadows as her brain played back the events of the day before for the millionth time. Jenner's face was looking back at her now. "We all have it; you had it..." he stated in a hushed whisper. "From what I've been able to find out so far, your DNA has been tampered with, and it's mutated. You're immune." Jenner stated.

"You don't have to go." his words echoed in her ears, sending chills down her spine and even now she knew that it wouldn't be right if she had stayed behind.

"Yes, I do." Jane stated finally, "How else are they supposed to beat this thing?" She asked. "If I'm immune, if I'm the walking breathing cure, then I have to go." the whisper of her own voice bounced around the narrow walls in the stairwell.

The word immune held so much weight it was suffocating.

I am not responsible, she repeated firmly in her mind, hoping that it would solidify itself. The fate of humanity does not rest on my shoulders. I'm only one person, there is nothing I can do...

The sound of the door squeaking behind her brought her thoughts to an abrupt end. Turning, she locked eyes with surprised blue ones. "What're you doing out here?" Rick asked, eyeing the woman that he hadn't talked to since he dragged her to the CDC with him. Nearly getting her killed as well as everyone else he added subconsciously.

"Thinking," Jane sighed, turning back to look away from him. Unexpectedly, Rick sat down beside her instead of walking past her like she thought he would. He was quiet as the tension started to build. He had to know; he didn't want to know, but he had to ask.

"What Jenner said," Rick started, wetting his lips that had suddenly gone dry, "Are you..." he trailed off, unable to say the words that had kept him awake all night.

"Immune?" Jane whispered, the words that haunted their minds for two very different reasons, "I don't know." It wasn't a complete lie, she reasoned. Just because she had seen the blood slide show didn't prove if a walker bit her, she wasn't just as dead as anyone else.

"Jenner said you're our best chance for a cure..." Rick paused, taking in a ragged breath, "That we're all infected." He stated, closing his eyes to push back the growing headache that pounded behind his eyes. "I don't know if I can…If I should believe that." His statement was honest, and he even surprised himself with how easy it was to tell Jane - a girl he didn't really know - what was on his mind.

Jane nodded, meeting his blue eyes with her own chocolate brown ones, "I know what you mean."

Neither knew how much faith they could put in Jenner's words. Sure, Jane had reason to believe them but if she were being honest, she didn't want to believe him. She didn't want every living person she ever met to be infected. She didn't want to be the single person that could save them. What if she died before helping anyone? A lot of good she'd have been then.

"We're going to head to Fort Benning." Rick stated finally, "Get you to the scientists, doctors, whatever it takes." He gave himself a reassuring nod before standing up. His eyes turned to Jane. "This stays between us." he stated, moving his hand between the two of them.

"Trust me, I'm not about to tell anyone." Jane stated, causing the man to eye her. He was trying to get a read off of her and even though he felt confident that she wouldn't tell anyone, he couldn't help but worry over her reasoning.

"It's going to be alright," Rick stated, placing his hands on his hips. It was Jane's turn to eye him; to read him, "We have hope now." he stated, firming his lips.

That was what he had wanted; a solid piece of hope, and now he had it. He had no way of knowing if the hope was real, but that's what hope was...faith. Something he would have to protect, and apparently keep alive in more ways than one.

They had set out on the road to Fort Benning not long after her brief conversation with Rick, leaving behind a few of their cars so they could save on fuel. They must have been on the road for little over an hour, Jane realized as she sat quietly in the back of the R.V. Suddenly, it came to a stop.

Furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, she got up and left the room, running into TDog first who stood in the kitchen. "What happened? Why'd we stop?" Jane asked, shifting her eyes from T to Shane who had looked up at her when she approached, and stood up to get a look for himself.

"Road looks jammed." Dale stated over his shoulder to answer Jane's question before he started slowly driving forward again.

"Uh, maybe we should just go back." Glenn stated, only to be cut off by Dale.

"We can't spare the fuel."

Jane wrapped her arms around herself when she got a look at what they were talking about; a vehicle graveyard. Passing by was flipped over cars, most of them with the doors hanging wide open, some with dead corpses still inside.

She swallowed thickly as the thoughts of what had happened to cause such a mess occurred to her.

"Can we get through here?" Glenn asked just before smoke started forming from the front of the RV, startling Jane as she jumped with a surprised gasp, thankful she hadn't screamed when a few pairs of eyes turned to her.

"Oh come on, you didn't expect that." She defended when Shane gave her what she could only describe as an 'are you for real?' stare. He didn't bother to respond as he shook his head at the girl and turned back around.

Jane followed after everyone as they piled out of the RV, getting the same feeling of dread, as she glanced around at the cars again that seemed too close for comfort. Jane was pulled from her eerie thoughts, hearing Dale complain about being stuck in the middle of nowhere, and then stopping to say that was dumb.

She didn't care to figure out what they were talking about as her eyes found themselves locked on a pair of angel wings. Daryl was shifting through the contents of a car. Cringing, Jane quickly realized that with the lack of possessions she possessed – or didn't possess - she should be doing the same.

"We can siphon some more fuel from these cars for a start." TDog stated, walking past Jane.

"Maybe some water." Carol added, standing next to her as she held on to her daughter.

"Food." Glenn and Jane stated together, sharing a small smile after they realized.

"This is a graveyard." Lori stated, sounding as put off on the idea as Jane felt when she first stepped out of the RV, "I don't know how I feel about this." She stated glancing over at Rick.

Frowning, Jane turned and stated, "No one likes the idea but we need the supplies." with that, everyone slowly started to span out like her words were a reminder of sorts that they didn't have the luxury of hitting up a grocery store.

.Jane, like everyone else, moved to see what she could find. Walking past a few cars, she settled on a blue minivan. She paused, hovering around the front closed door. Glancing around her, she noticed Andrea two cars back, heading away from the traffic, and Carl and TDog with Daryl a car over and up from where she was now.

Sighing, Jane shook the reluctance from her mind and thinned her lips, attempting to concentrate on the task at hand. Her fingers wrapped around the car's door handle, and with a pull, she heard the click of the door giving way as it opened for her.

The smell of rotting flesh hit her first as she grimaced, taking in the sight of gore that covered the driver's seat across from where she stood at the passenger side. Everything seemed to happen quickly; her eyes shifting from the blood stained driver's seat to the switch blade sitting on the centre console, stained in dried blood and papers littered the passenger seat.

A snarling sound caught her attention and her eyes snapped up to see a boney woman's hand grip the back of the passengers head rest, dragging her upper body slowly into view. Once its empty eyes landed on Jane, hovering in the doorway, it lunged forward, over the centre console, knocking the knife on to the floor boards.

Letting out a shriek of shock, Jane jumped back and slammed the door closed just as the dead woman collided with the window, jaw snapping eagerly to get to its prey. Seeing the door about to open from the pressure, she moved forward, placing both her hands on it firmly, trying to keep it closed.

It took seconds before Jane was flanked with two men on each side of her. Glancing first to her right, she saw Rick and Shane standing there, then to her left was TDog and Daryl.

"Shit man," Shane was the first one to break the shocked silence of men that were at the ready to take out whatever threat was to be found. "Maybe this ain't a great idea. Can't be sure which ones are really dead." He stated, shifting his eyes from the door window to Rick.

Rick, rubbing at his chin, turned to meet Jane's still wide eyed stare, "Ya alright?" He asked, receiving a nod in response. "Good. Alright, you move away and we'll take care of it." He stated, firmly giving the woman a nod.

"Woman ain't going ta survive long if she can't kill a single walker," Daryl stated, squinting a glare at the lone undead woman in the van, unsure of why he voiced his thoughts. His mind turned to the other woman in camp. "Ya need to teach em all how to handle 'emselves. Going ta be a liability otherwise."

Jane turned her borderline panicked expression to Rick with a silent plea not to make her do it. Not only was she still weaponless – although, she knew they had enough of them now to fix that - she also had no idea how to work a gun. Plus, the thought of ending the woman's life on the other side of the glass caused her stomach to turn.

Rick clenched his jaw thinking over Daryl's words. To be honest, he agreed with Daryl; everyone needed to learn how to handle a gun, how to protect themselves against threats that the walkers posed, but when his blue eyes shifted to her frightened brown orbs, he couldn't force it on her, "Not now," He stated firming his jaw, "Not today."

With a sneer, Daryl moved, tapping the woman on the shoulder with his bow, "Move outta the way, small fry." Jane swallowed around the lump that had formed in her throat over the course of the conversation, and gave Daryl a curt nod as he backed up, crossbow at the ready.

Jane moved back towards TDog so when the door was opened, it would create a small wall between her and the woman inside. Jane hadn't been this close to a alive one. If she could even call the woman in there alive. Being this close, she realized that she didn't view them as walkers...as dead, but more trapped...

Trapped in their decaying bodies as they hungered for flesh. A hunger that would never be sedated. She wondered momentarily as the door opened and she took another step back. If they knew what they were doing, if they saw each and every person they attacked...if they watched as they were killed.

Bile raised in the back of her throat as Daryl released the bolt from its confines, flying straight and true in the short distance and sinking between the eyes of the snarling, hungry woman.

Her throat constricted and her hand fell on the hood of the van to keep her upright. The dead body collided with the cool ground below. When Daryl's eyes landed on her, she could see in that moment just how little he thought of her.

Liability. His word rung loud and clear in her mind as she watched him turn and walk away, leaving a pit in her stomach. Jane realized TDog and Shane had also departed when Rick's hand landed on her forearm, a concerned look in his eye as he studied her.

Whatever it was he had wanted to say, he chose not to as he bit at the inside of his cheek. Instead he gave her a single nod as she straightened herself, pushing away from the van. His eyes moved somewhere over her shoulder and his grip on the rifle tightened.

Lifting it up to use the scope, he peered through it. Jane turned to see if she could make out what he was looking at. "Oh Christ, get in or under the van." He hissed at Jane under his breath as he ducked down.

Jane, moving quicker than she thought she could, moved around the door and climbed into the cab, closing the door as silently as she could, and remembering the knife that had once sat on the centre console. She leaned over and started shifting through the papers on the floor board until her hands made contact with the cool metal.

Lifting it up with relieved eyes, she held it close before climbing into the back seats and ducking under the window of the back door. The sound of hissing had her shoulders tensing. The sound was a lot closer than it should have been.

Crawling forward to peer behind the seats to the last row, she chocked back a sob as her hand instinctively went to her mouth. Holding the knife in a shaking hand, she paused with the feel of the cold metal touching her soft skin.

The sight before her made her sick to her stomach.

Strapped into a booster seat, sat a little girl no older than five years old. Eyes pale with decaying fingers reaching out towards her. Jane couldn't risk leaving the van now, but if she stayed, the sound of the little girls hissing and snapping would only draw attention of the approaching walkers.

The feel of the metal between her hand and cheek seemed to grow colder; a reminder of what she would have to do to solve her problem, and she would have to do it fast. 'Woman ain't going to survive long if she can't kill a single walker. 'Daryl's words again echoed in her ears.

He was right.

She knew he was right.

And her time to deal with the problem was running out.

"I'm sorry." She whispered to the little girl as she crouched, readying herself to spring forward. The girl snapped, and snarled, watching as Jane moved in what could only be described as muscle memory took over.

One moment she was crouched low, and the next she moved faster than she would have expected to, striking out and sinking the knife into the eye socket of the girl repeatedly before falling back against the seats. Jane dropped low again, between the middle and back seat, chest heaving as she stared at what she had done.

Suppressing her urge to vomit, she cradled her head between her knees. It happened moments later; the sound of shuffling bodies brushing against the van. As if the situation couldn't get any worse. She thought spitefully, clenching her jaw.

She was now stuck in a van that smelled of decaying flesh, with a dead body; one that she had just killed, and she was now surrounded on both sides by the walking dead. Her heart raced as she kept her head buried, determined to think of anything else.