Title: Panacea
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: NC-17 overall
Characters/Pairing:Law/Sanji
Chapter: 12/?
Word Count: 3309
Summary: There's something in his demeanor, the way he hides his true feelings whenever they start to unconsciously slip out, that speaks volumes. And Sanji would hardly consider himself somebody that wants to fixpeople but, well, he likes a challenge, and Law presents a rather giant one.
Spoilers:For recent-ish chapters, but this is set before Dressrosa.

Chapter Twelve

"Writing a song, bro?"

"Nah, just thinking," Sanji's sitting on the main deck of the ship, Franky's guitar in his hands, and he's strumming at it idly while the mechanic settles himself beside him. They'd made it until about mid-afternoon before Luffy had actually burst through the door and jumped on the bed, but since that was better than they'd anticipated, Sanji can't complain too much. "Wishing time would go slower, you know?"

"Yeah, 'course I do," Franky nods. "So what's up?"

"I think it's just…up until now, I've never really been that worried about my life. I mean, I want to reach my dream for the old geezer and for myself, but if it came to my dream or letting one of you die, I'd give myself up in a heartbeat because finding a sea is pretty weak compared to what some of you are trying to do," he knows it probably sounds bad, but in his mind it's always kind of made sense.

"Hey, bro, don't say that! It's just as important as any of the rest of ours!" Franky looks shocked and Sanji shakes his head.

"It's no big deal," he promises, and Franky looks unsure but lets it slide. "Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that, growing up the way I did, I never really had anybody to worry about. No brothers or sisters or even a best friend, and then when I met all of you…of course I worry, I worry every fucking time we have to fight somebody, but I know we can all take care of ourselves. And now it's like…it's not that I think he can't, but…"

"You're worried anyway," Franky nods. "Yeah, I mean, I've never been in love and I might not have a real brother, but that asshole Iceburg's close enough and I always had to worry about him. Well, actually, he probably had to worry more about me, but you get it," he nudges Sanji gently and Sanji thinks he does.

"It's…and this sounds so selfish, but nobody else can be what I am to him, and I want to keep that safe even though I know it's impossible," he chuckles and strums a few more chords, the sound dying out quickly in the warm breeze. "Is that bad?"

"Nah, that's love," Franky sounds sure of that. "Never thought I'd see it from you, getting' all weepy over a guy, but I can tell you're happy, bro," he lays a large hand on Sanji's shoulder and Sanji wants to protest that he's not getting 'weepy', thank you very much, but he can't find the strength to argue right now.

"Yeah, well, it's gonna be short-lived, whatever it is," Sanji's not allowing himself to get too hopeful about anything, really, because the closer their inevitable separation gets the more he just wants to curl up in bed with Law somewhere and never get out.

"You don't know that," Franky points out, and Sanji really wishes people would stop saying that because with their lives, there are no guarantees and to foolishly hope for a happy ending isn't something he's willing to delude himself with.

"Stop being such a wet blanket, Cook."

"Please tell me you're not going to preach to me about love," Sanji glares at Zoro as he stomps onto the deck, seating himself cross-legged in front of the blond.

"Nah, you don't need that. But you should know better than anybody that none of us are ever gonna reach our dreams if all we're doing is doubting it," he pokes Sanji's knee and Sanji kicks out at him irritably. "Damn, you're touchy today."

"Law's not my dream, dumbass."

"I know," Zoro gives him a look that implies that he's a little offended Sanji would think he's that stupid. "But it's a dream of a sort, right?"

And damn him, he's right, so Sanji just stays quiet and sulks, fingers moving over the guitar strings again.

"You and I are never gonna see eye to eye, but you're not a horrible person, and if he makes you happy, there's nothing wrong with that," Zoro grunts and it's the closest to a compliment Sanji thinks he's ever heard from him. "Look, Cook, you're a romantic, and you're not gonna be happy spending your life alone. But I know you, and for as much as you turn into an idiot around women, they're never gonna make you happy, either. Somebody like Law, though…I think he can. And you'd damn well better hang onto that with everything you've got," he sounds fierce now and Sanji looks up in surprise, because he never thought he'd hear Zoro talking so vehemently about love.

But then….

"Did you love her?" he asks softly, and Franky looks a little confused although Zoro seems to know exactly what he means.

"We were kids," Zoro shrugs. "So no, not like that, but she was important to me and I just…assumed she'd be around forever. You're not an idiot to plan for something bad happening, but if that's all you think about you're not gonna enjoy the time you have."

"Fuck, when did you get so smart?" Sanji leans over the guitar, hand clenched around the neck of it, and Zoro sighs and gets up, patting Sanji's shoulder on the way by in a move that's far too gentle, but Sanji can't even berate him for it.

Franky still looks like he's not quite sure what had just happened, but Sanji feels remarkably better for it.

000

"You bastards did this on purpose."

"Did what, Sanji-kun?" Nami asks, but her smile is sly in the firelight and Sanji knows she did. There's no other reason why, despite the fact that the outside area of the resort is giant, there are only enough chairs for their crew around the firepit and only one lounge chair left for both him and Law.

"It's hardly a problem," Law brushes by him, settling himself on the chair and giving Sanji a pointed look. "Besides, it's cold out," his meaning is clear and Sanji levels a glare at the others again before perching himself on the bottom part of the chair, squawking a little when Law yanks his shoulder and he falls back against the other man's body. Law seems to want it, though, his arms already around Sanji's waist and his chin hooked over the blond's shoulder, and Sanji pulls his knees up to his chest and settles his own arms over Law's leaning his head against the doctor's.

It was cold out, the fire doing a bit to warm the air but despite how hot the days seemed to be, the ocean breezes really cooled the place down at night and Law's warmth is appreciated.

"So how long do we have until we get to Dressrosa?" Nami breaks the silence after a few moments and Law shifts a little.

"Depending on the wind and the currents, maybe a couple of days. I need to make a call to Doflamingo once we set sail," his voice is cold now and Sanji reaches for Law's hand, thumb brushing over his knuckles.

"Isn't that dangerous?" Usopp asks, his voice a little high, and Law shrugs.

"Yes, probably, but it's part of the plan and he'll listen to me," he sounds certain. "I have no doubt he'll have some plans of his own, but I'll counteract those once I figure out more of how he'll react."

"You really hate him, huh?" Franky lets out a low whistle and Law chuckles softly.

"That might be an understatement. I know I'm not powerful enough to defeat him, but that's why we need Kaidou to do it for us, or at the very least both of them to cause some significant damage to each other. The destruction of the SMILE factory and the cessation of Caesar's experiments and….whatever other testing Doflamingo is doing are nice bonuses, of course, but that's our goal at the moment," he grips Sanji's hand back and Sanji smiles to himself.

"You're a really nice guy, you know that?" Nami smiles at him. "All those kids and now trying to help other people who've been dragged into this…"

"Don't let anybody find that out," Law grunts and Sanji snuggles back farther into his body, smiling against his neck. "And I expect you all to listen to me implicitly. Nobody outside of Doflamingo's family knows him as well as I do, or knows what he's capable of, and I'm not having any of your blood on my hands because you're deciding to play the heroes," he warns and Luffy shrugs.

"Mah, whatever, I just wanna kick that bird-man's ass," he's sitting there with his finger jammed up his nose like he hasn't heard anything Law's said, and Sanji can feel the older man tense behind him so he shakes his head.

"He'll listen. Just let him be," he whispers, and Law settles a little.

"Why should you care so much? He's barely done anything to you directly," Law points out, and Luffy shrugs.

"Yeah, but whatever he did to you, he hurt you. And you might not be part of my crew, but you're still my friend, and nobody hurts my friends and gets away with it," Luffy looks intense now and Law stiffens like he's been punched in the gut, eyes wide in the fire's glow.

"I'm your…"

"I told you, once he decides he likes you, you're never getting rid of him," Sanji snickers and Law finally relaxes back a bit. "Stop being so amazed that people actually care."

"It's not a feeling I'm used to. And while I appreciate your…concern, in this case it really would be best if you deferred to me. Trust me, I would like nothing more than to make Doflamingo pay by my own hands, but I know well enough that I would never win against him so as long as somebody utterly defeats him, I'll be content," he explains, and Luffy pouts but then nods.

"Yeah, yeah, okay," he sighs and leans back in his chair, staring up at the stars.

"Is he actually going to listen to me?" Law doesn't sound convinced but Sanji nods, leaning back on his shoulder.

"'Yeah, don't worry. And if he doesn't, usually it still works out somehow," he promises, Law sighing into his hair. Sanji can feel that he's getting restless and truth be told he's feeling the same way. It's lovely out here by the fire, but if it's the last night they're going to have an actual bed to sleep in, it seems a waste to not actually do that. "Wanna go?"

"Yes," Law sounds relieved and Sanji stands up, stretching out his back and raising his hand in a wave to the others.

He can hear Franky give a rather obnoxious whistle and Usopp snickering so he flips them off over his shoulder, not really caring what they think but it seems wrong to just let them get away with it.

He knows they're all on his side, but they're never going to stop teasing him about it anyway.

000

"Mm, speaking of missing their calling…"

"It's all those long days kneading bread," Sanji replies and Law snorts. "What?"

"I never thought I'd see the day where I found something about bread that I'd actually like, but if that's why your hands are so skilled, I might have to re-think my bias against it," he sniffs and Sanji grins to himself because Law's apparent vendetta against bread is really kind of hilarious. "You don't have to do this, though."

"Yeah, well, I can tell you're hurting even if you're too proud to admit it, and you were nice enough to do it to me. Plus, I dunno if you've noticed, but I'll take any excuse I can get to touch you," he's a little hesitant to add the last part but he thinks they're at that stage now, and the soft smile Law gives him, chin propped up on his folded arms and looking utterly relaxed, lets him know he's right.

"Well, thank you, in that case. I…think I've come to realize that, if it's you, I rather like being touched," he sounds a little embarrassed and Sanji leans down to kiss the back of his neck, leaving his lips there for a time and just savoring the moment.

He pulls back, clearing his throat, and goes back to massaging Law's back, thumbs kneading into the base of the other man's neck and making him groan softly. "You're really tense."

"I haven't had much time to relax in the last couple of years," Law's eyes are half-closed and he looks a little blissed-out. "Spending most of it in enemy territory didn't really help."

"Yeah, I get it," Sanji promises, because it's not like his two-year excursion had been much fun, either. He spreads his hands down, over the tattoo on Law's back, and starts massaging his lower back. Law's all dark, smooth skin hiding deceptive strength; all long limbs and lean muscle and, being a doctor, he obviously takes good care of himself. But then, his appearance is a big part of his reputation, so Sanji's pretty sure he puts a lot of thought into how he looks.

"Stop staring," Law sounds half-asleep and Sanji reluctantly takes his hands away, deciding that actually curling up with Law is preferable to just sort of sitting on top of him. "I didn't mean you had to leave…"

"I'm not, I'm just gonna wash my hands and get undressed, okay?" he asks softly and Law nods, so Sanji does that as quickly as he can, coming back and pulling the sheet back so he can crawl under.

Law pulls him close without any prompting, curling his long body around Sanji's and holding him tight, and Sanji's not quite sure what it means but hell, it's what he's been wanting since this started and Law seems happy enough to take the initiative now.

"What's up?" he asks quietly, getting a tiny head-shake in return. "Law, talk to me."

"Nothing of import," Law replies vaguely. "I'm just…tired of denying my body what it instinctively seeks, especially when you're so willing to give it."

"It's not weak," Sanji snorts, because the way Law says it makes it sound like a defeat of some sort. "Hell, I think everybody needs human contact sometimes, no matter how much they pretend not to."

"Hmm, perhaps," Law trails his fingers down Sanji's back, light touches that aren't meant to be anything but comforting. Sanji rests his head on the other man's chest, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat.

"Is this one still yours?"

"Yes," Law replies quickly. "I'm considering switching it out before I go meet Doflamingo for…obvious reasons, but it's never been anything else while we've been together," he promises. "Is it that important to you?"

"Kind of," Sanji frowns, trying to explain it to himself. "It just…feels weird knowing that I'm doing this with you when…"

"When somebody else's heart is in my body?" Law chuckles. "I understand. But rest assured, everything we've done…there's nothing influencing it but my own feelings, as...repressed as they might be."

"Yeah, well, good thing I don't need a big demonstration, huh?" Sanji pushes himself up and kisses Law, thinking that in the end one of the reasons they probably work so well is that neither of them are that showy when it comes to expressing their feelings, but they know it, and that's all they both require. Of course, it's not as if he thinks he'd be happy in a relationship where there was never any affection between he and his partner, but Law's open enough when it's just the two of them. "Mm. Are you scared?"

"Not especially," Law pointedly doesn't meet his eyes, staring off to the side, but he keeps his hands on Sanji's skin like he's anchoring himself there. "I'm…resigned to whatever happens. I haven't changed my position, you realize: while I'm not going to go looking to get killed, my primary goal is to ensure the destruction of the factory and that none of you are harmed in the process. No matter what that means for me," he adds, and Sanji feels a little disappointed although, really, Law's not the type to let anything deter him from his tasks.

He can tell Law feels guilty about it, though, just from how he's acting, and he pushes himself over the other man and gently touches his cheek, the tips of his fringe brushing against Law's face and making him wrinkle his nose. "Law."

"Yes?" Law finally meets his eyes and the doctor looks completely impassive. "Don't try to change my mind."

"I'm not going to," Sanji promises. "I know this is important to you, and that this…whoever you're fighting for means more to you than some guy you've only known for a couple of weeks," he's not even that bitter because really, he'd do the same.

"There could be an argument made that the living should always take precedence over the dead," Law points out, and Sanji shrugs.

"Yeah, but it's up to you, in the end. Whatever you choose, you've gotta be the one to do it," he's trying to stay as diplomatic as he can even though he's kind of selfish by nature and fuck, he wants to keep Law in his bed forever, but life's just not gonna work that way. "I trust you," he finally settles on, because that's about all he can say. He's never going to like it, but it's not his place to say anything right now.

"That's unwise," Law chuckles darkly. "Doflamingo is…he's a horrible man, but if there's one thing about him that's positive, it's that he cares about those he's taken under his wing as if they were his own family. I'm the one that betrayed him, technically speaking, but I don't know if that's invoked his anger enough that he'll kill me outright or if he'll prefer to keep me alive and toy with me. And I'm also not sure which one is preferab-"

Sanji cuts him off with a well-timed kiss, not willing to hear him talk about death and torture with so little emotion, and Law grabs his arms almost tight enough to hurt and kisses him back fiercely.

"Don't." Sanji pulls away to warn. "I might have to accept whatever happens to you, but that doesn't mean I'm going to lie here and fucking listen to you talk about it like this," he hisses, and Law looks a little surprised. "I…" he breathes out slowly. "Fuck, Trafalgar," he finishes lamely, because he wants to say 'I love you' again but it doesn't feel right. He's said it once, and that had taken a lot, after all.

"I know," Law does seem to, the look in his eyes gentle and a little wary. "I apologize."

Sanji sighs and turns onto his side, pulling his arms in front of him and staring at the wall because he's not sure what to say right now. There's a few moments of utter silence before Law shifts, one arm slinging around Sanji's waist and pulling their bodies close. Sanji lets his hand rest on top of Law's, slotting their fingers together, and Law noses against the nape of his neck and presses a soft kiss to his shoulder.

"If there's any way, anything I can do to…allow us to be like this again, I will," Law murmurs, and Sanji knows that it's huge for him to admit that.

"Yeah, well, just make sure you do," he tries to sound tough but his voice cracks a little, and he squeezes Law's hand tighter and wonders if hoping for the sun to never rise is childish.

Even if it is, he doesn't really care.

1. This fic is definitely winding down, and I have a…couple of idea for the ending. One is…I won't say it's an unhappy ending, but it's definitely canon-compliant for where the series is at currently, and that was my original plan for ending the fic. But I've also kind of been toying with an epilogue-ish thing that would be a lot happier, so if you all would rather see that, let me know and I can definitely make that happen!

2. That's really all I have to say; thank you as always for reading and commenting!