Chapter five
Stir-Crazy
Jane had sat wedged between the seats for what was starting to feel like an eternity. The occasional bumping against the van had stopped some time ago.
Everything was quiet, minus her racing heartbeat that thudded against her rip cage like a bird trying to escape.
When she finally forced herself to look up, she avoided looking directly at the now very dead girl and crawled over to the window, getting up on to her knees she peered out.
Everything looked clear, like a calm before the storm or in this case if she was lucky after the storm. Letting out a shaky breath she sent a glance over her shoulder, bile started to raise in her throat again, unable to hold it in she doubled over losing what little was left in her stomach.
Her body shook with sobs as she wiped at her mouth, tears stinging at her eyes. She pushed back sitting on her heels her eyes shifting to the little girl, chocking out a remorseful sob once again she apologized before getting slowly to her feet.
Biting her lip she hesitated a moment before walking over to the corpse and pulling the knife back out. Grimacing as she realized blood covered her hand that held the knife, taking a steadying breath she wiped the blade off on the back of a seat before exiting the van.
Her body swayed with each step as she headed back towards the RV not really paying any attention to anything around her. She was fighting the nausea that was still twisting in her empty stomach, and using her blood free arm to wipe at the tears that burned her eyes as her entire body shook with each step.
Jane stopped short when she noticed everyone gathered around the guard rail looking out towards the woods beyond it, her eyes swept over the group taking it the distraught woman and the injured TDog being tended to by Daryl and Dale.
Pushing down the swirl of confusing emotions that turned her stomach she called out to the one friend hovering between the two disturbing sights. "Glenn," Jane called to the man pacing back and forth in a short line with his hands gripping the baseball cap on his head.
A few pairs of eyes flickered over to her briefly, only two pairs remained on her blood splattered appearance. "Oh god, please tell me you're not hurt too." Glenn stated helplessly as he took a step towards her only stopping when she shook her head.
"What happened?" She asked eyes shifting from TDog to the weeping woman back to Glenn, who in turn looked more somber than he had a minute ago.
"TDog cut his arm up, pretty bad by the looks of it..." he paused glancing over his shoulder towards the woods than back to her, "Sophia..." his words faltered further, "got chased off by two walkers." He stated pausing shortly to shake his head "Rick went after her."
Jane nodded slowly unable to form words as her eyes shifted over to the grief stricken mother, she had never talked to Carol or Sophia and had barely talked to majority of the group as it was. But still her heart went out to the mother as she watched Lori hugging her, Jane's lips turned downward in to a frown.
Hours had passed and still there had been no sight of Sophia, Jane tried to keep her mind and hands busy by going through vehicle after vehicle while waiting for Rick and Daryl's return. It started to feel like every few seconds she'd glance up to search the tree line for any sign of the men, something Carol had never stopped doing.
Not that she could blame her, Jane had no idea what it felt like to really lose someone she cared for, to lose a child. Shaking her head she lowered her gaze down to the blouse that she had bawled up in her fists, they'll bring her back. Jane thought forcefully clenching her jaw.
Sending a quick glance around Jane realized she couldn't see everyone, Dale was seated on top the RV no doubt keeping a look out for walkers and Rick, while Glenn was peering inside of the hood. She had seen T and Andrea go inside and assumed they were still there.
That meant Mrs. Grimes, little Grimes and the best friend were a miss. Frowning Jane looked around again spotting the boy a few cars behind her looking in the driver's side window of a truck. Furrowing her eyebrows she dropped the blouse and made her way over not seeing Lori anywhere.
"Carl," Jane called out as she got closer, causing his hand to pause on the doors handle. Catching his gaze she watched as his face faltered, "what are you doing?" She asked quietly coming to a stop by the front tire as he stepped down ruefully.
"There's something in there, an axe I think." He stated bouncing his gaze from her's to the gravel below, pursing her lips Jane glanced at the window feeling the nerves in her stomach twist when she saw the unmoving body.
"There's a body in there." She stated catching his eyes to read the defiance clear on his face.
"Yeah, but it ain't moving." He stated as she licked her lips about to protest, "I'm not scared." He stated firmly bawling his hands into fists.
Raising a thin brow at the boy she stated, "I am and you should be too." pausing Jane fixed her sights on the still unmoving man in the truck, "They're dangerous," she stated but was cut off.
"I'm not a child," he stated again full of defiance, like he had something to prove.
Jane shifted feeling out of her element with the entire situation. "If it's alive, do you have a weapon?" She asked pressing her lips together expecting the answer she got when his determination dwindled in to something akin to embarrassment.
"Yeah, didn't think so." She mused again fixing her sights on the truck's door, heaving a sigh she walked around it pulling the switch blade from her back pocket and opened the door waiting to see any changes.
"Told ya it wasn't moving." Carl stated scuffing his feet along the ground as Jane looked back at him.
"Didn't mean it was dead, dead." She huffed blowing a stray hair from her face, bracing her foot onto the door step with one hand on the door frame Jane heaved herself up.
Her spine stiffened as she worked to calm her nerves. Her eyes lingering for moment on the man's unmoving face as she held her breath, It's dead. It's dead. She repeated subconsciously trying to calm her racing heart when her gaze shifted to the hatchet and rolled up weapons that sat wedged between the man's arm and his decaying body.
Jane worked her jaw for a moment as her grip tightened on the door frame, before she cautiously moved her body across his to grab the roll of weapons. She heaved once, then twice before freeing the leather bound kit.
Jumping down Jane closed the truck's door rougher than necessary before meeting Carl's wide excited stare. She froze for a moment taking it how the boy was nearly bouncing in his spot as the anticipation ate away at him.
She knew she should take the kit to Shane or Dale, since Rick wasn't around but the eagerness on his features held her attention. "Are you going to open it?" He asked breaking her trance.
Raising a thin brow she glanced at the package briefly before licking her lower lip, having something to defend herself that was more deadly than a switch blade would be desirable to say the least.
That was before the doubt started to creep into her mind. Heaving a sigh Jane shook her head at the boy, "no, it's best to give this to Shane...or someone." She stated turning to walk away.
"Can I do it?" He asked causing her to stop mid-step and glance over her shoulder to look at him, "Shane's with my mom." He stated, and when she didn't respond continued as he walked up beside her. "I'm heading over to them anyway."
The silent plea was present over her entire face, Jane stood silently debating his offer. As long as he didn't open it and start playing around with them, well than she didn't see a reason to not trust him with them.
"These aren't toys," Jane stated keeping her tone calm but firm, "you said that you're not a child. I expect you'll handle these like an adult then." She stated before offering the bundle to him.
She watched silently as Carl grinned and nodded eagerly accepting the responsibility and quickly made his way off to the left with purposeful strides. Jane stood there unmoving for a moment as she stared at the spot he had vanished behind, a strange feeling started to twist in her stomach.
Rick's words from early this morning continued on a loop in Jane's mind as she stared at the tree line willing the vast majority of their group to return.
"I want you to stay here," Rick had stated calmly, resting his hands on his holster.
Blinking in confusion Jane looked around them at the group preparing for their departure, "but why?" she asked wondering if she had done something wrong, maybe he had found out about her giving Carl the weapons and he was mad at her.
Would he really punish her by forcing her to stay behind?
"Because we could use another pair of hands here," Rick stated expecting her question, "T-Dog's hurt and I don't want Dale firing off that rifle if he doesn't have to." He explained catching her eye.
"So you're leaving me her?" Jane breathed pursing her lips together as her eyebrows knitted in confusion, "the same girl that freaked out over a walker yesterday and only just had her first kill. That makes a lot of sense." She stated not buying his explanation, or keeping the sarcasm out of her tone.
"Listen we don't have the time for a debate," he stated straightening at the sound of her disbelief, "just stay here. Protect the camp."
Rick had ended their conversation there, before he led the group off on a rescue mission to bring back Sophia. She hoped they would return soon, but as expected she was still waiting hours later.
"Dale," Jane called turning on her heel.
"What is it? You see some'in?" He called back standing on top the RV
Raising her hand up to block the sun from her line of site, Jane shook her head 'no' before responding. "Nah, I'm going to go a little deeper in to the jam. See if I can find some antibiotics." She stated gesturing to the blockage of cars that blocked their way.
Dale was silent for a moment before he glanced towards the graveyard, his grip tightened on the rifle, the thought of the herd that passed them by yesterday still fresh in his mind. "Ya think that's a good idea?" He called back, not liking the idea of letting her go.
"We've done all we can here," Jane stated "I'm going stir crazy. Besides when they bring Sophia back we're going to be hitting the road again," she stated eyeing the man "hate to leave behind something so useful."
Dale nodded before dropping his shoulders in defeat, they had already cleared a path between yesterday and today, and all nearby vehicles had been search and cleaned out of anything useful. Clenching his jaw he gave a stiff nod, "stay where I can see ya."
Jane didn't hide the smile over her small triumph, she hadn't lied she was going stir crazy pacing back and forth waiting for Rick and everyone to return. An unsettled feeling had wormed its way into her stomach as thought's of what was going on out there had started to creep up on her.
So to say she was happy to be weaving between the cars holding on to the hatchet Rick had forced her to keep on hand, telling her if a walker stumbled on them and they couldn't hide to handle it quietly, it would be an understatement.
The minutes ticked by into hours, as Jane moved from car to car. It hadn't taken her long to realize that a lot of the cars had been picked clean, by the original owners or survivors like herself she wasn't sure.
The bag Jane had thought to grab before leaving camp was nearing a quarter way full. Frustrated and tired, Jane climbed into the driver's seat of a small two door car. It was picked clean like a lot of the cars had been.
Shifting in the seat she pulled the back pack onto her lap, leaning back she decided she would just rest her eyes for a minute, than she would be back on the highway heading to camp. That was the plan as her eyelids slid closed and her breathing evened out.
"Jenkins!" A man bellowed, Jane's forehead crinkled as she shifted in the seat trying to ignore the shouting from outside.
"Dammit Randall, let's go!" another man snapped as Jane's eyes widened.
Her heart started to race as she looked around frantically trying to pin point the source. "Don't worry 'bout the damn kid!" He snapped again causing the hair on the nap of her neck to rise. There was something about the tone of his voice that had her heart harming in her chest like a bat trying to escape from hell.
One thought after another had her sinking lower into the driver's seat, as she tried to make herself as small as possible grateful for the blood stained windows that provided her some coverage. Mentally cursing herself for being so careless she pressed her body as low as she could manage, she knew these people weren't one's she wanted to be caught by.
As a man laughed, "Brats Lame brains bait now." Jane swallowed down the confusion of the term as she tried to focus on not being seen, "Com'on let's get back to the cars. Ain't no way we can drive through this shit." A man stated gruffly.
Jane's lungs burned with need, in her attempt to stay invisible she had started to hold her breath whenever she thought someone was nearby. Exhaling she sighed and leaned her head back against the seat.
Licking her lower lip, she shifted up in the seat so she was sitting like a normal person would be and checked to make sure the cost was clear. Breathing a sigh of relief she grabbed the bag that had been tossed into the passenger side and climbed out of the car.
Jane's legs shook as she stood beside the car, as she stared in the direction away from her camp, where she assumed the strangers were heading. An unnerving feeling started to twist in her stomach, as thoughts of Sophia circled around in her brain.
She wanted to call out for the girl, to yell as loudly as she could, but at the same time knowing that those men would hear and they'd probably come back to check it out made her nervous.
What if they had been talking about Sophia?
There was no way to know if she did call out for the girl if she would be close enough to hear, and if she was and she came running, so would those men and so would the undead.
Turning her back was harder then she'd imagined, as she took those first few steps towards camp slowly dragging her feet feeling heavy and defeated.
Thoughts of telling Rick or Carol about what she had heard, and then telling them she walked away without trying to find the child? How would she be able to look them in the eye and tell them she made a call that she thought was right?
The sound of feet hitting the gravel with a soft thump, thump, had Jane's thoughts changing tracks as she paused and her grip tightened on the handle of her hatchet. Walkers? She feared as her eyes flickered from one direction to the next.
When they stopped it was on a small figure crossing between the rows of cars and trucks, the kids shoulders were slumped, defeated much like hers had been. She watched jaw dropped at the slow movements, how the child limped.
"Hey!" She called out realizing that she was about to let the kid walk right by without knowing if it was a walker.
The mop of brown hair snapped up and wide eyes stared back in her directed, ten feet separated them, but she got her answer as the boy's body turned towards her.
(Author's note: ahh okay so this chapter took forever to write! Kind of sad since this is confirmed to be my shortest chapter in this story thus far. Soo thoughts?)