Chapter Six

Smile for the damned

I wanted to thank everyone who took the time to review/favorite/follow, this chapter has been a struggle and I hope it lives up the expectations or at the very least doesn't chase anyone off! I will send Daryl out after you! :)

PumpkinMama2012: Thanks so much for your kinds words, I actually struggled over that same question for weeks! Which would you have preferred?

Blackalligator: Thanks! Haha I've done that more times than I could possibly count after finding a new story. No need to apologize English is my first and only language and I make mistakes on a daily basis, so no worries.

Jane hated the disappointment she felt, to her it was revolting how she had wished the boys presence to be Sophia's instead. How she had wanted to bring the little girl back to camp, prove to Rick that she wasn't useless and earn a sliver of respect from the rest of the group. The feeling had been overwhelming, and so was the conflicting emotions she felt now.

Jane couldn't help but to wonder about the collective reaction the group would have when she brought back a child that wasn't Sophia, surely they wouldn't turn him away even Shane who had protested bringing her along originally wouldn't be so cruel to turn away a child. Disappointment. She assumed they would feel like she did now, disappointed that it wasn't Sophia but still no one would turn their back on the child just as she hadn't.

"My friend," Jane started to speak to the boy, startling him and causing his vise like grip to tighten further on her hand, "Rick, he will have questions for you." She stated meeting his fearful gaze, "he's a good guy, he'll help find your mama." Jane told the boy before his eyes turned downcast staring blankly at the pavement below. Biting her lip she couldn't help but to wonder if he had a mama, and if so where the hell was she? Taking a deep breath Jane forced back the thoughts on how a mother should never let her child out of sight, considering the terrible predicament the group had been facing since yesterday.

Sophia, please be okay...please be back. Jane silently prayed looking up making out the RV in the fading sunlight, relief shot through her seeing that the vehicle was still present on the highway. She hadn't realize how worried she had been that they had actually found Sophia and then left without her until the behemoth of a vehicle told her that they hadn't left.

"Ready?" Jane asked not waiting on an answer, knowing one wouldn't come.

As Jane made it into the clearing that had once been filled with cars she watched as a few figures had made their way towards her, it was the sight of Carol that had broke her heart. The woman had come barreling out of the RV nearly falling down the few stairs and had continued on towards her, only as the mother neared did her footsteps weaver before coming to a complete stop a few feet away.

The words had came out in a sob, but there was no mistaking them. "That's not Sophia." Jane swallowed fighting the urge to look away from the woman that was breaking in front of her, moments later Andrea was there with a comforting arm wrapping around the woman who tried to stifle her sobs as Dale and Daryl stood a few feet away taking in Jane and the boy who was now trying to hide behind her.

They hadn't found Sophia. The weight felt heavy in her stomach with the realization that she had given Carol hope and then had yanked it away, "Carol," Jane had whispered her name softly causing the woman to look over reveling the dark circles that had been caused from crying and a sleepless night, the words 'I'm sorry' were on the tip of her tongue but had never made it out before she was enveloped into a motherly embrace by the woman.

Carol had pulled away a few moments later rubbing Jane's arms and sparing a broke smile that wavered but stayed on her lips before backing away, Jane swallowed around the thick lump in her throat that the contact had caused as she fought back the urge to cry. She wasn't sure when she had became emotionally attached, but supposed this was the normal reaction to these types of situations. It must have been the fact she didn't really know this people that the tears didn't fall, and for that she was grateful.

"So, whose this?" Dale asked bending down to be eye level with the boy, his smile was soft It's father's like Jane thought watching the man remove his hat. It was the feeling of his finger nails digging into the sensitive flesh that was her hand that brought her back to the question, wincing Jane looked down at the boy resisting the urge to pull her hand free to inspect any damage that had more than likely been done.

"I'm not sure," she answered after a moment meeting Dale's gaze, "he's pretty shaken up, hasn't said a word since I found him." Dale nodded in understanding but it was Carol that spoke next.

"Maybe he's seen Sophia?" Her tone was soo hopeful, the same hope Jane had nearly an hour ago, and much like her's it was crushed.

"I already asked," she admitted lowering her gaze, not wanting to seen the pain that had been present on Carol's face.

"Thought you said the boy don't talk," Daryl stated raising his bow on his shoulder as his eyes narrowed in on her, "how d'ya know he hasn't?" she wasn't sure what it was about his stare that made her feel like ice water was running through her veins, but regardless it had making her grow irritated that everyone seemed to have little faith in her abilities to do something right.

"Just because he hasn't spoken doesn't mean he hasn't responded," Jane had felt her hands clench and release at the reminder she still held the boys hand in her's. Looking around Jane's eyes narrowed, she hadn't realized how strange it had been that she had only been greeted by a few when their camp was far from small. "Where's Rick?" The irritation had been lost in her question as her eyes turned to Dale in attempt to ignore Daryl.

Jane hadn't had many encounters with the man, but from what she had witnessed his moods were all over the place from hot anger to a guy wanting to have a good time with friends to being closed off, she was actually concerned that she might end up with whiplash if she hung around him too much. "Maybe you should come sit down," Dale advised confusing Jane.

"Why?" Jane had asked before a landslide of questions ran through her mind, "Dale, where is everyone?" She asked again becoming agitated as she watched the men exchange a look before Dale relented and Daryl walked off leaving the older man to do the explaining.

"There was an accident in the woods," Dale explained the situation telling Jane that Carl had been shot and that majority of the group was now at the farm where his wounds were being tended. It was while Dale recounted the day's events for Jane that Andrea and Carol made their retreat to the Winnebago, "Glenn was supposed to bring you to the farm, but he couldn't wait any longer. T needed the medical attention."

Jane exhaled unsure of what she was feeling, it seemed the children were getting the short stick lately and that was cause for concern as the boy remained at her side. Remorse for the Grimes family, for Carol that was what she focused on as she nodded numbly to Dale's words. "Will Carl be ok?" Jane asked forcing down the emotions that threatened to consume her.

"We don't know, in the morning we're going to hang a banner for Sophia than go and meet up with everyone at the farm." Dale explained sounding as tired as she felt, "we're weak like this." He stated causing her to frown and her eyebrows to knit together.

"How do you mean?" Jane asked as her and Dale walked towards the RV, "because we keep losing people?" She asked avoiding the word 'kids' not wanting to imply that either child wouldn't be coming back.

"Because we're separated, spread too far apart." Dale stated with a sigh as they paused in front of the RV, "he looks exhausted." Dale stated causing Jane to look down at the boy. Truthfully she hadn't noticed, sure she knew that the walk was probably hard on his tiny body and she had no idea when he had last eaten or slept but lately things like that held little importance for her.

"Hey," Jane smiled down at the boy getting down on a knee so she would be eye level, much like Dale had down earlier, "you hungry?" She asked knowing that he more than likely wouldn't answer, that fact wouldn't stop her from trying though, the boy spared her a tiny smile but made no other attempts at an answer. Withholding a sigh Jane nodded, "okay than, let's get you something to eat."

Standing Jane and Dale exchanged a brief smile before she entered the RV that was currently filled with woman.

Jane was still surprised that the boy had fallen asleep so easily spread out on one of the single beds in the back, even with Carol sobbing in the bed next to him he didn't stir. There was something about him, the way he clung to her without hesitation even the way he slept had started to feel familiar leaving a heavy weight in her chest. "Jane?" Andrea's voice brought her out of the thoughts that had clouded her mind, the blonde woman sat across from her at the table hands paused on the gun she was assembling.

Jane hummed turning her faraway look on Andrea, "are you ok?" The blonde asked as Daryl stirred on the floor of the RV, "it's just you've been staring back there for nearly twenty minutes." She gestured over her shoulder with the nip of her chin.

Sighing Jane shifted in her spot feeling her muscles tighten at the sudden movement, "it's nothing, I just need some air." Jane had moved ignoring Andrea's mouth that was gapping at her and had hurried from the RV. She had closed the door rather carelessly and started to pace in the open space knowing it would be careless to go for a walk in the dark but desperately needing the movement.

"Going somewhere?" Dale's knowing voice had her heart hammering in her chest as her eyes darted towards the man that stood on top the RV watching her with a keen eye. Clenching her jaw Jane rubbed at the back of her neck hoping to rub away the unwanted and confusing emotions.

"Nah," she mused aloud thinking that if she had left she'd probably join Sophia in the lost category, "just needed some air." She told him the same excuse she had used to avoid talking to Andrea, luckily the RV door opened and closed stopping the words on the tip of Dale's tongue as Jane took it the sight of Daryl standing awkwardly looking back at her.

"Going ta go shine a light in the forest, give her some'in to look at." Daryl grumbled breaking eye contact to glance over Jane's shoulder to the waiting woods. This would be the only chance she had to escape the camp for a few hours, to clear her mind and help in the search for Sophia.

"Mind if I join?" Jane asked eagerly, catching the look that transpired between Daryl and Andrea who stood in the doorway of the RV causing her to wonder if she should have said anything at all.

"You think that's a good idea?" Dale asked as Daryl walked down the stairs paused to turn as he passed Jane's shoulders, there was something about the woman that Daryl couldn't figure out it was a feeling he didn't really care to name. He didn't really trust her, hell he wouldn't trust anyone that claimed to not know who they were and then had medical knowledge like what the fuck? Who did she think she was fooling? Certainly it wasn't him.

"Dale," Andrea spoke his name in a clipped tone sending a chill down Jane's spine, she hadn't missed the tension the two had going on ever since they had left the CDC but that didn't mean she wanted to witness it firsthand either. "You go Jane," Andrea nodded at the other woman "I'll keep an eye on the kid."

The kid. Jane hadn't thought of how her walk would affect him, why would she have? He wasn't her's, so why did she feel guilty as she nodded her head thanking Andrea. Jane had followed after Daryl keeping silent until they were deep in the woods.

"You're a good guy," Jane's words came out abruptly cutting off the silence, Daryl had actually forgotten she was a few steps behind him but now that she had spoke and he was shining that damn flashlight in her face he knew he wouldn't be forgetting it anytime soon, especially with her words repeating in his mind on a loop as he tried to make sense of it. "Coming out to look for that little girl, it's honorable."

"Honorable." He repeated the word spitting of to the side, "all those people their given up on her. Someone's gatta try and find her." Jane's stomach twisted hearing his reply, she hadn't seen it hadn't thought too much on giving up finding her it was always just a matter of time in her mind.

"I was younger than her," Daryl started as they continued to walk "nine days eating barriers and wiping my ass with poison oak." A small smile started on her face at the image of a younger Daryl doing what he had claimed.

"They found you," she hadn't intended for it to be a question after all if he was standing here someone had to have found him, right?

"Nah, my ol' man was off on a bender with some waitress." He paused sending another look her way, "Merle was in another stint in juvy. He didn't even know I was gone."

"Merle?" Jane repeated a moment later causing him to pause, he couldn't help but to think it was strange that she hadn't heard about his brother, someone was actually at the camp that hadn't suffered Merle's racist drug induced ass. Daryl knew without a doubt Merle would've went after her, she was pretty and young better yet he hadn't pissed her off yet, yup there was no doubt in his mind that if Merle was with them now she would be steering clear of probably both of em.

Shaking his head he explained, "My brother, toughest son of a bitch I ever met." Daryl stated catching her eye, it was then he realized she'd been looking at him the same way she had at the CDC with some sort of thoughtful expression that made him uneasy. Turning away Daryl flashed the light around the woods, "Made my way back though, walking right into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich. No worse for wear, though my ass itched some'in awful."

Chuckling Jane smiled as Daryl peered down at her, there were a thousand of memories she couldn't remember but somehow she doubted any of them to be as funny as wiping her ass with poison oak. But his story did leave a few questions in her mind, obviously she had a mother and father but where were they? What kind of upbringing had she had? Did she have siblings out there? But the main question she had was where was Merle now? Asking was probably too personal, so instead she smiled and shook her head to clear her mind.

"Only difference is Sophia has people out here look'n for her, call that an advantage." Jane nodded again letting the conversation relapse into silence. The pair had walked a little further sending the woods looks of contempt as they walked, somewhere out there was a little girl the one they were looking for and they didn't appear to be any closer to finding her.

It wasn't long after that they came across the walker hanging in a tree, "what the hell..." Daryl mumbled getting a closer look at something on the tree near where his legs dangled, "got bit, fever hit, world gone to shit, might as well quit."

"How poetic." Jane mumbled crossing her arms over her chest avoiding looking up at the undead man, Daryl tossed her a look of amusement before taking a step back.

"Dumb ass didn't know enough to shot em self in the head," he stated "turned himself into a big swinging piece of bait." Jane bit back the word 'lovely' that came to the forefront of her mind, "look at that mess." Daryl continued to study the corpse causing Jane stomach to turn, how he could just stand there and tolerate the smell long enough to take a good look at the thing she would never understand.

"I'll pass," the woman stated tossing her gaze anywhere but in front of them.

Daryl turned his eye on her then, studying her while she tried to avoid looking at the 'swinger' as Daryl had dubbed him. "Ya a'right?" He mused aloud attempting to hold back the smirk at the thought of her upchucking, served her right for laughing about his itchy ass.

"I'm good, can we get moving?" She asked causing the man to raise an eyebrow at her, it hadn't exactly been the response he had expected.

"What, ya not gunna ask me ta put the poor bastard outta his misery?" Daryl scoffed, if any other woman had come out with him they'd probably be complaining saying shit like it was the humane thing to do. Hell if he cared about that though, but there was something he wanted to ask her and he'd be willing to spare the arrow to get the answer.

"Be a waste of an arrow," Jane stated causing Daryl to work his jaw.

"Damn right it would be," he nodded a moment later shrugging off his questions and the disappointment at missing the opportunity, striding towards her he lowered his bow. "Let's head back, ol' man's probably getting ready to send out his own search party." Jane forced a halfhearted smile as Daryl narrowed his eyes at her, he still didn't trust her or like her much, hell he didn't like anyone but at least he didn't feel so uncertain around them. The way this woman made him feel was downright confusing and he didn't have the time or patience to figure it out.

The pair had walked in silence for some time until Daryl decided to break it asking the question he had been thinking about earlier. "Back at the CDC," Daryl started to say before hesitating, chancing a look at the woman that stood at his side looking up at him with that damn innocent look of her's and there it was again that feeling that twisted in his stomach leaving him skeptical about her, there wasn't anyone left in this world that was innocent, hell she had her first kill earlier and still she looked so damn fragile and good. Something he didn't buy. "Ya hesitated to leave, why?"

"What?" Jane had asked pausing in her steps, unsure if she had heard him right and perplexed on how scorned the question had sounded leaving his lips.

"It's just a question." Daryl defended trying to convince her and maybe himself that the answer held no real meaning, "I seen ya," he continued resisting the urge to chew on his cuticles instead he chose to raise his bow higher pointing at an invisible threat and sent her a sideways glance. "Back when Rick was having words with Jenner, ya looked like ya were bout'ta stay behind."

Jane had visibly wet her lower lip again causing him to scowl, it seemed she made him do that a lot. Still she hadn't realized anyone had witnessed what had gone down between the three of them but apparently Daryl had, or at least he thought that he had. "Ain't none of my business if ya wanted to opt out," and it was true Daryl knew it wasn't his business and that he had no reason to be bringing the subject up at all, so why was it so important he bring it up? "As long as you ain't still considering it?"

Daryl's breath seemed to still, burning a hole in his lungs as he waited on her reply. "You misunderstood, I wasn't thinking about Opting out, the opposite really," she stated confusing the hell out of him, and making him relax all at once "I wanted Jenner to join us. I just didn't have the time to convince him."

Her confession caused Daryl to stare at her in bewilderment, why the hell did she want the man who tried to blow them all to kingdom come to join them? "Why would ya want that? Ya liked him er some'in?" Daryl wasn't a stupid man, when they had been at the CDC there was a connection like a silent conversation being transpired between the Doctor and Jane, on top of that she had gotten all these clothes from someone and it hadn't been from any of the woman in their group.

The sound of Jane laughing had him scowling, "No, god no." again she smiled causing his stomach to twist proving to anger him further, "I just thought having a Doctor with us would be beneficial."

"Would'a been some'in." Daryl mumbled letting them lapse into a brief silence, he wouldn't admit that he felt stupid asking if she had liked a man that she had only just met but he did agree that having someone like that would be useful until his gaze turned on her. "Ya have medical knowledge, maybe yer a nurse or some'in." He voiced his thought causing her pause.

"Maybe." Jane smiled briefly his way, though she seriously doubted it. Daryl had stared at her fixated on that stupid smile of her's, it was downright irritating whether that was because he couldn't figure out what she had to smile about or why she kept smiling at him he wasn't sure but that did little to change the fact that it was making him uncomfortable and aggravated.

"Doubt I'd be much use though," Jane had mumbled as they started walking again, Daryl continued to eye the woman studying her from head to toe there was something in the way she had said those words that had rubbed him the wrong way.

"The hell that supposed ta mean?" Daryl asked scowling as he forced his gaze to remain on the woods instead of her face as the trees started to thin out indicating the grassy hill they would soon have to climb to get to the highway.

"Nothing," Jane stated catching how his lips tightened from her dismissal, so much for the good mood here comes the whiplash. Jane had thought which again caused the tiniest of smiles to claim her lips. "Just feel kind of useless around here, like I don't really have a place in the group." She confessed, if anyone could relate she was sure it would be Daryl.

Instead of offering her comfort he made a noise that sounded an awfully a lot like a snot, "the hell woman it's Armageddon and you're worrying about fitt'en in?" They hadn't shared anymore words as the trudged up the hill to the awaiting group empty handed.