When I woke up, I saw my brother looking at me with a hopeful expression as I opened my eyes. I tried to say "good morning" as I sat up, but my voice came out as it usually did, my words slurred into something sounding like "Swipwn."
Len sighed as I greeted him, and smiled a little. He looked tired, and a little disapointed I wasn't speaking correctly as usual. The long white scar on his left arm was still there since the cut from the car crash had healed the best it could have. He lifted his hand and ran it through my hair.
"Hey Rin..." He sighed, as I took his hand from my head and played with his fingers, earning a small chuckle from him. But the laugh was exhausted. Len hadn't laughed like he used to ever since the crash. I wished I could talk to him, and try to make him feel better about everthing, but whenever I spoke my words sounded nothing like they should.
I looked up from his hand, to see Len staring at our hands with an almost stoic expression. Suddenly, he reached down to the floor, pulling up the backpack he always brought with him when he came to visit me- which was everyday, morning to afternoon. Sometimes he wouldn't even eat, but I knew he was just worried. But it was still concerning, so whenever the nurses brought me meals, I made sure Len ate a little with me.
He sat his backpack down next to him, and zipped it open, pulling out a little wooden box. "Rin," He asked. "Remember this?"
I stared at it for a second, wondering why the box looked so familiar. I dropped Len's hand and placed my hands on my lap. I meant to ask, "What is it?", but my words came out sounding like "OquAAtteka?".
"Remember? Mom gave it to us..." He turned around, sitting criss cross to face me, setting the box between us. "Remember the song we made up to it?"
I blinked, still trying to remember what it was, when suddenly it hit me. Mom's music box! I smiled brightly and nodded, trying to say "Open it!" which came out sounding like "Rewplk!". I quickly beckoned him to open it with one hand.
He smiled a little as he opened the box, and our old lullaby started to play. I started singing, and tried to sing our original lyrics to the song, but they were morphed into "WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Jhno..." I didn't acknowledge the difference, and looked up at my brother, waiting for him to join in.
Len smiled just a little, and began singing with me. "I can hear what you say," He sang as I continued in the backround, "WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Jhno..."
"Though I can't understand it yet..." I watched as he looked down, a slight pensive expression on his face as we continued singing. I kept singing in my own language, locked away from the world, "WeRRa, Svey, Jhno, Mrrau."
"I'll repeat what you say..."
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Jhno..."
"Hoping it could be a love song..."
"ShwnyTtRRew..."
The music box continued playing, and I noticed my brother's expression getting sadder and sadder. I frowned a little as I kept singing and took one of his hands in both of mine. He looked up at me, and I smiled at him. He gave me a sad smile in response and we continued singing.
"Awakening occurs unexpectedly,"
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Jhno..."
"It looks dark, and scary..."
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno, Mrrau."
"I'm hearing this voice again, and again..."
"ShwnyTteRRew..."
"I wonder if these foreign words will ever reach you..."
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Jhno..."
I looked down at the music box. It's melody was a little repetitive, but pretty at the same time. I felt my brother's hands trembling a little and I looked up at him, to see him looking like he wanted to cry a little. I tightened my grip on his hand, massaging a little to let him know it was okay.
"Ah, yet your voice sounds so gentle..."
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno, Mrrau."
"You opened your eyes..."
"ShwnyTteRRew..."
"And I saw you smiling happily..."
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Jhno..."
"Staring at my eyes..."
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Mrrau."
"You let out words clumsily..."
"ShwnyTteRRew..."
I watched as my brother furrowed his eyebrows slightly and closed his eyes tightly for a few seconds. I kept singing my part of the song, "WeRRa, Svey, SwWeiR, Shwny TtRRew. WeRRa, Svey, Jhno..." I sang softly, smiling at Len, who kept singing, keeping his eyes closed.
When he looked back up, I saw the small pearls of tears in his eyes he had been holding back. I saw his lip quivering, and his singing voice was slightly choked. I only watched with sad eyes. This was the first time I had seen Len almost cry since the accident. I guess even the ones who try to be strong have a breaking point. And all it took was a bit of nostalgia.
"Will I ever be able to understand you, someday?"
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Jhno..."
"Do you understand the things I say...?"
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno, Mrrau."
A tear finally rolled down my twin's cheek, and I quickly lifted my hand to brush it away. Len was crying. I could hear his voice bgcome shaky and weak from trying to hold back sobs. My poor brother...I tightened my hand on his, as if to say, "It's okay, don't cry." I smiled at him sadly as he gave me his other hand, and we started singing again. He repeated the words only I understood.
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Jhno..."
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Jhno..."
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Mrrau..."
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Mrrau..."
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Jhno..."
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Jhno..."
"ShwnyTtRRew..."
"ShwnyTtRRew..."
The music box stopped playing its tune, and we sang the last verse together.
"I can hear what you say,"
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Jhno..."
"Though I can't understand it yet..."
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Mrrau."
"I repeat what you say,"
"WeRRa, Svey, Jhno Jhno..."
"Hoping it could be a love song..."
"ShwnyTtRRew..."
I looked at my brother, his eyes red and bloodshot from the rest of the tears he was trying so hard to hold back, as they threatened to fall. He looked up at me, and I smiled sadly at him, pulling him into a hug with my arms wrapped tightly around his neck.
I wanted to say, "Don't cry, I've got you, it's okay..." but of course, my speech was still slurred into sounding more like "KoNNqn, lkaOOpwA WSsadne Tui jhQweNO..." But I said it an assuring tone, holding my trembling brother close as I rubbed his back gently with one hand, hoping the words would still comfort him.
"I know you're trying Rin..." He said as he wiped away the tears, breaking the hug. "You'll get better one day..." I watched as he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.
I smiled at him, and picked up the music box, opening it so the lullaby started playing again. "IiW Mok?" I asked, meaning "Once again?"
"You mean again?" Len asked with one more forced chuckle. I nodded excitedly, and he sighed with a nod. "Alright, let's go again."
One day, maybe I won't be the only one who understands my words.
One day, maybe he will understand what I says too.
Maybe it won't be so lonely to be around anyone.
I won't have to miss talking with him.
I could really be his sister again.
I'll just keep waiting.
One more time.