AN: This is a product of my dysfunctional mind. It just came out of nowhere, like most things. It is silly and... jeez I am just awful sometimes.
Anyway, this fic takes place in Season 4 I guess. As I have stated in other fics, I stopped watching Glee near the beginning of Season 4. That doesn't really matter though, but for this fic to work Rachel, Kurt and Santana need to not have a landline in their apartment. I don't know if the did have one or not but in this fic they don't.
Rachel hated looking for things. Mostly that was because she was always so organized that she almost never had to look for anything. And yet, for whatever reason, she had lost her phone. She had looked everywhere and she couldn't find it, and Santana was being less than helpful. She seemed content with watching Rachel scurry about their tiny loft, and Rachel didn't have the time to argue with her. If only Kurt were around but he had an early start for work.
Admittedly, it wasn't completely necessary for Rachel to find her phone. Quinn was coming to visit and they were going to spend the whole day together. And, much to Rachel's delight, Santana wouldn't be joining them since she had a date. As such, Rachel would have switched her phone to vibrate so as not to disrupt her time with Quinn. But Rachel still wanted to have phone just in case. There was no telling when she might get a callback for the roles she auditioned for.
She quickly checked the time. It wouldn't be much longer until Quinn showed up and Rachel seemed to be no closer to finding her phone than when she had started her search. It was possible that she had misplaced her phone somewhere else, out in the Big Apple. If that were the case then Rachel would likely never see her phone again. But Rachel wasn't one to give up so easily, and so she started on her third sweep through the apartment.
Said sweep didn't last long though because moments after Rachel began rummaging through her closet there was a knock on the door. "That must be Quinn. Santana can you get the door?" She could hear Santana groan, but no argument was given. Rachel took what little time she had to fix her clothes. She looked nice, but since she hadn't seen Quinn in so long Rachel wanted to look more than just nice. Rachel made sure not to take too long. She didn't need or want to raise any suspicion.
Once she was happy with how she looked Rachel exited her room. She all but ran over to Quinn and took her into a big hug. "I've missed you." Rachel held on longer than she probably should have, but Quinn didn't seem to mind. "We need to visit each other more often," Rachel suggested as she pulled back. Santana decided to interrupt at that moment with a fake gagging sound.
"Jeez, get a room!"
Rachel's head snapped in her direction. Her eyes narrowed as she glared at Santana. She wanted to say something but her better judgment told her not to. It wasn't worth it and Rachel didn't ruin what little time she had with Quinn. She simply spun on heel so as not to face her, an action which earned a giggle out of Quinn.
"What are you two fighting over this time?"
"It's nothing," Santana answered simply, to which Rachel scoffed. "Berry's just upset that she lost her phone."
"Did you try calling it?"
"I would have… but Santana refuses to let me borrow her phone."
"It's your phone that got lost. How is that my responsibility?"
"I'm not saying that it is!" Rachel all but yelled, spinning back to face her roommate. "But as my friend I was just hoping that-"
"Why don't I just call it?" Quinn suggested in an attempt to cool things down. But just in case, she also made sure to position herself in between her two friends so she have a better chance at breaking them up in case things escalated too far. Quinn carefully looked to both of them and when neither showed any signs of protest she pulled out her phone and dialed Rachel's number.
'I like big butts and I cannot lie.'
Quinn's eyes widened in shock. Beside her, she could hear Santana snickering. Slowly, Quinn turned towards Rachel who was frozen in her spot. She looked horrified. To save her from more torment, Quinn cut off the call and thus silencing Sir Mix-a-Lot. But the damage had been done and there was one question floating in Quinn's mind. She didn't really want to ask it, and put Rachel through further embarrassment, but felt the need to do so. "Is that your ringtone for me?"
Santana burst out laughing.
"No! Absolutely not!"
"Yeah right? Q just dialed your number, didn't she?"
"Yes, but… but…"
"But… but…" Santana mocked. "Save it Berry and just admit you have a thing for Quinn's butt."
"Santana shut it!" Her voice cracked slightly and Quinn was certain her cheeks were red, and so she decided to focus her attention on Rachel. "Let's just find your phone," she suggested, if only to change the topic to something other than her bottom. "Were you paying attention to where it was ringing from? I was kind of… distracted."
"Berry was distracted too… by your ass!"
"Santana!"
And at that moment Rachel snapped out of it. She was still embarrassed, but after recovering from her initial shock Rachel was able to piece things together. She marched over to Santana, pointing an accusatory finger at her. "It was you! You changed my ringtone!"
"Me?"
"Don't pay dumb Santana. I know it was you!"
"Or maybe you just want Quinn here to be on her hands and knees on top of your bed."
"I do…" The words got stuck in Rachel's throat as the image that Santana described invaded her thoughts; Quinn on her hands and knees, presenting that prefect ass of hers to Rachel. She'd look over her shoulder and smirk, sway her hips a bit, enticing Rachel to come closer. Rachel couldn't help but lick her lips.
"Rachel?" She was snapped out of her thoughts by Quinn's concerned tone.
"Told you," Santana chimed in. "She said 'I do.' She totally wants you in her bed, don't you Rach?" Quinn turned to glare at her. She opened her mouth to once more tell Santana to shut up, but decided against doing so since there was really no point. Nothing she could do or say would ever get Santana to stop.
And so Quinn decided to do the one thing that she could think of that would help Rachel relax. "It's okay if you like me," she assured. "I-I like you too; for a long time now. In fact, I could probably say that I… love you." Maybe that was a little too much, but once Quinn had put herself out there she couldn't just stop. Quinn knew that this was probably just some stupid prank. She knew that she would possibly get her heart broken, but the moment that she saw Rachel's eyes light up she knew that that wasn't the case.
"You do?"
"I do. I love you."
"Oh, I love you too."
Rachel jumped into Quinn's arms and kissed her hard, but then she had a throw pillow tossed at her head. "Jesus!" Santana screamed as she got up from her seat. "I already told you two to get a fucking room! God, I do not want to see this!" And with that she stormed away and hid inside Kurt's room.
AN: I feel like I should be embarrassed about writing this, but I'm not.