"Ok Miss Tyler, I have the results of your tests back."
Rose swings her legs back and forth, a little nervous for the results of her examination, but overall pretty calm.
"It looks like everything is mostly normal. Swelling in your brain has gone down immensely. Your heart seems fine. No other internal damage, except for one thing."
Rose braces herself for the worst, but nothing could have prepared her for what she is about to hear.
"When we did the original scan for medical abnormalities while you were unconscious, I'll admit my staff wasn't very thorough. They seemed to have overlooked a certain… condition… and well… I'm sorry Rose, but you won't be able to have kids."
He mouth drops open and her feet still. Did she hear the doctor correctly? "I… I won't be able to get pregnant? She stutters. She feels like the world is crashing down around her. She and the Doctor… the Doctor… oh crap what is she going to tell him?
"There was already a slight chance you would be sterile before you were hit by the laser, a 1/25 chance I believe. I don't have a clue as to why you are now, it could have been caused by something here, the laser, or you were to begin with."
Elbows on knees, Rose rests her head in her hands.
"I'll let you tell the Doctor and you can leave when you are ready. I'll leave the checkout papers here." The doctor sets the papers on the table next to the empty food tray.
She straightens up and folds her hands on her lap, and that's how the Doctor finds her 10 minutes later, lost in her own thoughts.
The Doctor steps into the room, concern on his face. "What did the Doctor say? Are the tests back?"
Rose blinks a few times in an attempt to clear her head. "Uh… yeah the tests came back." She takes a deep breath and plasters a fake smile on. "I'm fine and I can leave whenever I'm ready."
"Oh Rose, that's great!" He rushes over to her and hugs her tightly, but remembering her broken ribs, pulls back.
"I am… so ready to get out of here." She looks around her hospital room and nods her head.
~o~
Back at the flat, the Doctor guides Rose to their bedroom.
"Its nine o'clock and you should go to bed."
"I just slept for almost two days!" She stifles a yawn. "I don't need to sleep now!"
He chuckles and kisses her nose. "Yes you do. I'll lay with you if you want."
She is very still for a moment and then nods her consent. The Doctor smiles and helps Rose undress and put on a pair of pajamas, then pulls off his t-shirt and jeans. They slide under the covers together and he tucks one arm under her, wrapping the other around her waist. She presses herself against him and closes her eyes. He can feel her heart beating over the place where his second heart used to be. He stays awake and watches her sleep, but soon the double beating of their hearts causes him to fall asleep also.
Rose wakes up around three in the morning with the Doctor asleep next to her. The sickening reality of her situation hits her like a wall and she stumbles out of bed and to the bathroom. She braces herself against the sink and looks down, trying to keep the contents of her stomach actually in her stomach. She can't seem to divert her attention and with each thought about how she's going to tell the Doctor she can't have a baby brings a new wave of nausea. She bends over the toilet and throws up. The bile stings her throat and leaves a foul taste in her mouth. Once her stomach is completely empty she is left hunched over, gaging fiercely and panting. She takes a few steps backwards and slides down the wall to a sitting position. Her mind is in overdrive and she's exhausted from throwing up.
The Doctor wakes up to a strange, unknown noise. He doesn't take much notice of it until he realizes the spot next to him is cold. His eyes pop open and search for Rose. When he doesn't find her the noise finally registers as someone retching. He throws back the covers and runs into the bathroom to find Rose sitting on the floor.
"Rose?!" He takes a step into the bathroom; unsure whether he can come in or not.
She turns red eyes slowly towards him. Her bottom lip begins to quiver as she tries not to cry. Her eyes plead with him not to come any closer, to not see her like this. His face fills with worry and hurt.
"Rose… what is it? What's wrong?" He kneels down next to her and searches her eyes. "…Rose?" he asks quietly.
The sound of her name being said from him so full of emotion, worry, hurt, sadness; it breaks her and she starts to cry. He scoops her up and shifts her onto his lap so she can cry into his shoulder. They are sitting close enough to the sink that he can reach up without having to move too much and grab a tissue. He wipes the tears away with his thumb and hands her the tissue to blow her nose.
"What is it Rose?" he tries again.
"I… I was meaning to… to tell you, but I… I didn't know h-how," she says between sobs, "I wasn't going to… to keep this fr-from you. Plea-please know th-that. I'm… I'm s-sorry, s-so sorry," she gasps out.
Her body is shaking from crying so hard now and even he can't stop the flow of tears.
"Rose? Tell me what, Rose?" his voice is suddenly very different from the way it was before, more urgent and harder, not as soft as before.
Rose stills and goes very silent. "I can't get…" she croaks out in a whisper. She pauses and tries again. "I can't get pregnant."
She can feel his arms go slack around her and she brings her head up to look into his face. It isn't readable, but his jaw is clenched.
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. Please don't be mad. Don't… don't be mad." Rose's voice and face is full of regret and fear.
He looks at her but he's not looking at her, just through her. Everything is blurry to him and he can't believe what she just told him. They had been trying …
"It was the laser wasn't it? I shouldn't have let you go. I'm so stupid, I should have known better!" He brings one hand up to the nape of his neck and vigorously rubs it, sweeping his hand into his hair on the top of his head and then down his face. He looks away from her and at the wall, forcing himself to focus on something.
"The doctor said it might not have been the laser… I could have been sterile before… before I was hit. So please don't blame yourself, it wasn't your fault," she rushes to reassure him.
He tilts his head down and looks at her pleading eyes. He furrows his eyebrows and stares at her. "Would I be mad?"
"Because you wanted to have a baby and I can't… I can't give that to you."
The Doctor drops his arms completely and Rose takes it as her cue to get off his lap. She bites back tears as she slips off his lap and backs herself into the corner of the wall and the shower. She pulls her knees into her body and wraps her arms around her legs with her back propped up on the shower glass.
"What are you going to do now?" she asks hesitantly, afraid of the answer, afraid he will leave her.
"What do you mean?" His voice is devoid of any emotion.
"Are you…" her voice cracks but she continues, "…going to leave me?"
At that question he snaps back to reality and sees how truly scared Rose is, how much she need reassurance that everything will be okay.
"Oh Rose. Oh Love." He crawls towards her and tentatively takes her hand. "I'm not going to leave you because you can't get pregnant. I love you." He puts her hand under her chin and tips her face up. "Do you understand? I love you."
His face looks as if someone has ripped out his heart and shredded it at the sight of seeing her so scared and lost, completely believe that she will lose him once again just because she's infertile. She's sobbing again.
"I'm not going to leave you. Not ever." He picks her up and carries her into the bedroom, setting her on the bed. He strokes her hair and murmurs, "Shhhh… It's gonna be ok. You'll be fine. We'll be fine. Shhh… Shhh…"
This goes on for quite a while until he's calmed her down and she's taking shaky breaths.
"I'm… I'm fine not having a baby. I don't need to have one," he tells her quietly.
Rose takes a deep breath. "We could adopt…" The Doctor doesn't respond so she quickly adds to the statement. "If that's something you'd want. It wouldn't be our own… but it would be something? Right?"
He realizes that she just gave him a second option and his face lights up. "We can do that? We can adopt?"
She chokes out a laugh at his eagerness. "Yes, we can. I take it you want that then."
He nods vigorously. "Oh yes."