A moan escaped him as teeth bit down on his bottom lip, before lips covered his. Saru's lips were always smooth and their lips glided over each other's. Hands cupped his face and the kiss deepened. Fingers grabbed at his hair and his mouth fell open to release a gasp.

He tried to move his mouth away and further towards the other's bare neck. Saru was shirtless, but he kept his shirt on and he knew that was bothering the monkey. Saru ignored the mouth that was biting down on his neck in favor of the other's chest. Cold hands snaked their way up his shirt, and the redhead couldn't help but shiver at the cold intruder.

He tried to push the hands away and tried to get Saru's attention back to him and off his cloths. When he had come barging in Saru's apartment, his goal for the day was to forget his worries. So when they started kissing on the bed and the damn monkey took his shirt off, Yata knew his clothes would be a problem.

He didn't want Saru to see what he did to himself.

He sucked harder on the other's neck and when that didn't work he tried to kiss the others lips again. Flicking his tongue over Saru's bottom lip, he inwardly sighed in relief when the hands left his shirt and came back to the back of his head to pull him closer.

Their kiss was heated and for one blissful moment, Yata forgot about everything. The throwing up every morning, the random bouts of exhaustion, and the stares from everyone back at Homra, all that vanished and just the feeling of Saru's body on him was there.

But with his luck lately, the damn monkey's hand started going for his chest, and accidentally rubbed over his new wound. It caught him off-guard and he couldn't stop the wince and the grunt of pain.

And then reality and all his worries came back to him.

Before he could even open his eyes, hands were pulling his shirt down to reveal his upper chest. He didn't dare meet the others eyes. He already knew what the other was looking at.

Where his Homra insignia once was, was now red, scratched, and irritated skin. It was like a damn target against his pale skin. He had been trying to hide it but already some from Homra could already tell what he was hiding when he refused to take his shirt off in the unbearable heat a few days ago. He didn't know he was doing this to himself. The only times he caught himself were when Anna or Rikio stared at him before pulling his hand away from his chest.

"You've been rubbing again." Saru declared. Before the other could try to hide the injured skin he placed his palm on the other's chest and held him down. Pushing away Misaki's hands, he felt the abused skin. He clicked his tongue in annoyance and anger. Layers of skin had been peeled away and nail marks were clearly marked on the once perfect skin.

"It's fine. c'mon don't stop and leave me with fucking blueballs!" Yata tried to lean up to the other but the damn monkey wouldn't even let him get up. Instead he just kept looking and lightly tracing his fingers over the raw skin.

Looking down at the redhead beneath him that was currently cursing him, the third in command scowled. Removing himself from the redhead who gave a cry of protest, he got off the bed and searched for his jacket. When he finally fished out his phone he quickly went through his texts. Not finding what he needed, he clicked his tongue again and growled at his lover. "You need to see a doctor. I'll make an appointment tomorrow."

Yata scoffed and quickly feeling an argument coming headed for the door. "I'm fine I don't nee-

An arm came down and barred him from leaving the room. His eyes flashed to the damn monkey's and before he could yell, Saru barked at him. "You're losing weight, throwing up, and the only time you hurt yourself is when you're worried or nervous about something! You're seeing a doctor."

Now angry at the others aggressive reaction he yelled back. "I didn't come here to get fucking scolded like a kid. I get enough of that already." Grabbing his skateboard he tried to go around the taller man. "I'm out of here."

Before he could try to go around the bluenette, his shirt was grabbed and he was roughly handled so he stood in front of Saru.

"Let me see your arms." The other demanded as he tried to pull the sleeves of the white shirt. If he saw Misaki's veins and wrists abused, he didn't know what he will do. The redhead fought him and now he had anger as a boost of energy. He managed to push the other away but he didn't get any closer to the door. "Bastard!" He shouted before he pushed the stupid monkey, hoping to get a pathway towards the door.

The bluenette now angry himself, tried to seize the redhead's arms again. "If you got nothing to hide, show me your arms, Show me that you're not on drugs again!"

Yata felt his hands fist at his sides and the door was now his second priority. The first was punching the monkey in the face. Dropping his skateboard he stood in front of the third in command and yelled in his face. "You're a fucking asshole."

Saru ignored the insult and instead focused on his Misaki. With a finger he jabbed at the shorter of the two's self-injury. "The rubbing, not hungry, tired all the time. How the hell am I not supposed to think you're back on drugs when you refuse to go to the doctors?" Glaring at the other he continued with venom in his voice. "You acted just like this when the Red King die-."

"Shut the fuck up!"

And Saru actually did, because after hearing Misaki's broken voice telling him to stop he knew he went too far. As much as he had hated the Red King, he knew Yata idolized him. He tried to grab Misaki's attention so he could apologize but by this point Yata wasn't listening and had pushed through Saru.

Ignoring the several apologies he remained silent and opted to slam the door hard enough where the entire apartment shook to send his message. The redhead left the building with tears clouding his eyesight. He didn't know why he was crying. He was fucking angry at Saru for saying such a thing. That asshole knew not to bring up the past. That was rule.

~K~

He stayed away from the damn monkey and instead divided his free time in his shitty apartment, and his job which was really taking a toll on him. He loved the pay but the other day he almost got caught by his boss' rival. And he couldn't go the speed he needed and was just sheer luck that a Scepter 4 dog was in the neighborhood that distracted the rival. He managed to deliver the package but his legs were feeling shaky and he had to get off his skateboard before he ate shit. And the pavement wasn't looking that comfortable.

Every time he made his slow journey to his apartment, he had to stop at a certain alley. Something in the back of his mind was screaming at him to remember but every fucking time he would get a headache and have to stop thinking.

By the time a week passed without seeing the monkey, Yata's fingers were starting to twitch with the urge to send a message to him. He couldn't lose Saru after he just got him back in his life. Yeah he was a total dick for bringing up Mikoto-san but he was just worried about him.

It didn't help that this morning when he caught his reflection in the cracked mirror in his apartment that he did look eerily similar to when he was on drugs.

The dark bags under his eyes, his face looking sharper due to weight loss, and his skin having an off pale color made him realize that he did need to go to the doctors.

That had made him wary of going to Homra, because he knew the stares would increase tenfold. He was sure they would come to the same conclusion that Saru did.

So he just stayed in his small apartment, only times he went outside other than his job was when hunger actually hit him, which was rare nowadays. He usually ate at the dead of night, because oddly enough that was when he did feel hungry. The rest of day was usually sleep, or time spent in the bathroom throwing up or pissing

But at the end of the week, he decided that he needed to end this strife between Saru before it got worse. So he decided to surprise the stupid monkey with a nice dinner. He would eat in front of him, which would make him happy because Saru was weird like that, and he would agree to go to the doctor.

So with that plan in mind, he set off to buy all the shit he needed for the night. Buying two entrees at a decent restaurant and the coolest looking wine bottle at a liquor store, they didn't bother checking IDs, he made his way to Saru's.

His hopes of coming to the location before the bluenette was fulfilled and he quickly set up the table and meals. He left the bottle alone, because he honestly didn't know how to open it despite being in a bar for a few years.

With everything set, he chose to wait on the bed until Saru showed up. It was Thursday and he got out early today. As long as The Heartless Women didn't over pile him with paperwork, he should be home in about fifteen minutes. Laying down on the bed he hoped Saru understood the dinner was his way of saying sorry. Though he should have never brought up Mikoto-san, he really was just worried.

Mikoto-san. His stomach clenched at horrible memories and the cold truth that his King was dead. He was so lost the first week after everything settled down. He couldn't fucking eat or sleep and the fact that his insignia was gone, he felt a part of him had gone with it.

And then he ran into an ex-member of Homra. He gave him something and it made everything go away. Those were the only times in those months where he wasn't suffering from his thoughts. But then he fucked up and that was the day his relationship with Kusanagi-san was ruined.

Before he could think further on that day, a sharp pain hit him by his collarbone. Looking down at where the pain was coming from, he felt his stomach drop. The fingers that were unconsciously rubbing on his chest were now coated with blood.

"Fuck!" Quickly getting up so he wouldn't stain the bedcovers, he sprinted towards the bathroom. When inspecting the now bleeding spot, he grimaced at the sight of it. Five deep lines were scratched into the spot and more layers of skin had been scratched away.

Just looking at the self-inflected wound caused anger to surge through him. With trembling fingers he went through the drawers and found the first aid kit. Patching up the wound, he quickly cleaned his mess and made sure his shirt covered the bandage.

When he exited the bathroom he saw that Saru was still not home. Sighing he decided to just wait it out while sitting at the table. He thankfully had gotten a dish that still was still edible when cold. He waited in silence though his patience quickly died. Folding his arms on the table he rested his head.

~K~

Two hours had passed and it was now midnight. Yata had actually fallen asleep after thirty minutes of waiting, but now that he had woken up and saw that he was still alone, he quickly lost his temper. Grabbing the alcohol bottle, he decided to just down the whole bottle and then leave the apartment.

He tried in vain to pull the cork out of the bottle, but when that didn't work he reached his limit. Throwing the bottle at the door, he yelled in a mixture of anger and frustration. He didn't even get a satisfaction when he heard the bottle break and scatter across the floor.

As soon as the yell died, he felt exhaustion overcome his body. He brought a shaky hand to swipe the hair out of his hair and he was startled to see that he was covered in a sheet of sweat. He sighed in defeat and sat back down on the chair.

The door opening went over his head and it wasn't until he heard someone call his name did he realized that he was finally not alone in the room.

"Misaski?" Glancing around his apartment he sighed and said in an exhausted tone. "What did I do now?"

Now embarrassed, exhausted and disappointed he yelled at the other "I bought us a nice fucking dinner and an expensive drink. I was being nice and tried to apologize but you didn't think to tell me you were going to work late, so all this is your fucking fault.

The third in command couldn't help the smile on his face as he walked towards the slumped figure. Embracing the other he laughed into the other's hair. "Misaki is so cute when he tries to be romantic."

Yata didn't choose to reply, and instead focused on burying himself into the other's warmth. The other's arm lifted to pet his hair, but something caught the redhead's eye. In a strangled gasp he yelled. "Oh shit Saru you're bleeding."

Saru looked down at where the other was looking and chuckled. "I love when Misaki worries about me, but don't worry this is not my blood.

Stepping away from the bluenette, Yata got his first real look at Saru. He too looked tired but he wasn't pale or hurt. "Is that the reason why you're late?"

Saru didn't answer until after he took off his coat. He pulled Misaki with him to lie on the couch; the exhausted redhead was happily to comply. When both were laid out on the couch, did Saru finally answer the question. "A strain is on the loose. She's powerful and many enemies want to have her for their convenience."

"What's so special that everyone wants her?" Yata asked curiously. He pressed himself deeper into Saru, wanting more of the warmth that the other gave off. The other accommodated him and wrapped his arms around him. "She will grant the desire that is on your mind when you contact her."

A headache formed in Yata's head, as if sparked by what Saru said.

Yata didn't respond and ignored Saru when he hugged him tighter. "But I already have what I desired the most. My Misaki in my arms."

The headache worsened and he struggled to ask. "D-Do you have a picture of her?"

Saru clicked his tongue but dug for his phone. When he finally pulled it out he quickly scanned his saved pictures which were mostly of a sleeping redhead. When he finally found the picture the blonde sent him he let the other see. Handing it to his Misaki he added. "I thought of Anna when I saw the picture."

The picture depicted a young girl with a nervous smile on her face. The picture of her was in public in a middle of a crosswalk. She stood out due to her torn clothes but also because she was staring directly at the camera.

Those large beautiful eyes.

Flashes of the alley stormed through his head. The men trying to grab the girl. Hands on his stomach.

"Hey." A hand was shaking him. "Misaki?!"

Oh god. The girl she granted their wish. But did that really mean...Oh god the throwing up, the constant bathroom breaks.

"Misaki! You need to breathe. Breathe with me. Come on calm down." Someone faraway was yelling at him. Oh wait that was Saru.

He opened his mouth to try to yell at Saru to shut up and leave him alone but he couldn't get the words out. He also realized at the moment that he couldn't get air in his lungs. Everything came crashing down around him as he was brought back to reality.

His chest was heaving up and down, and though he was breathing rapidly, it didn't seem like any was entering his lungs. His head started to feel light while his body seemed to be disconnected from him. He felt himself fall forward and though he tried to catch himself, the darkness that was creeping on him swallowed him.

His last thought was 'I can't be pregnant. I can't.'

~K~

A/N

Thank you everyone who reviewed last chapter your reviews keep me going!

So this is just my headcanon, but I do believe that Yata would fall into some kind of bad habit after Mikoto died. That was just one hell of a week for him, two important people died and his place where he belonged became lost. So yeah I think his downfall is pretty realistic and it will be further explained.

Please please review! They keep me motivated to know people actually enjoy this fic and if I should keep going. It's not fun telling a story if no one is reading. So I will update as soon as I can and hope everyone has a good day.