(Christian POV)

I barely make it back to my car resisting the urge to throw up the whole time.

What. The. Hell.

I drive all the down here, desperate to see her. Desperate to know if she feels the same way I've been feeling. Afraid she doesn't.

Terrified she does.

I can see it in her. I feel it coming off of her like radiant heat. Whatever this pull that she has on me is, she's feeling it, too. And that scares the shit out of me.

This girl has no business being anywhere near me. I'm like...poison. I've done this before...but not like this, not with someone like her. I can tell she has no idea what she is getting into. Will I be able to forgive myself for destroying that?

I click the car door open and slide in, slamming the door and taking a few deep breaths before beating my clenched fists against the steering wheel. I just left her standing there, confused as all fuck. But oh well, maybe now she'll know I'm not worth the trouble. I pull my phone out. A message from Mia. A message from...Elena. It's like she can sense it in me when I am losing it. I hit reply, wondering if I should drive right to her and let her help me sort this out.

I debate for a minute before tossing my phone on the passenger seat. No. Not this time.

I inhale deeply and turn the car on deciding to drive back towards the park. I need to see her again and I need to know she's ok.

I pull up to the Starbucks corner and scan the park. She's gone. I hang a right, to drive down the block she had parked on. Banged up beetle is gone, too. She must have ran to her damn car to get away from here fast.

Fuck.

I hover at a stop sign trying to wrap my crazy mind around itself.

Then my crazy mind takes another crazy turn.

I grab my blackberry again and pull up my email to the already-existing "Anastasia Steele" tagged emails. I spent this whole week learning everything I possibly could about her. Why let it go to waste.

I speed through the tiny neighborhood streets until I find her block. It doesn't take me long to know in in the right spot as I spy her...well, it's kind of a car I guess...sitting in front of her apartment. I drive slowly down the street, eyeing it as I do. Trying to see in the windows. No luck. So I park.

Am I really going to do this?

I sit in my car and engage myself in a debate over it. I slowly parallel park and wiggle in easily but can't bring myself to put it in park. There's no good reason for me to be here. And what's more if I knock in the door there's as much a chance that Kate answers the door and I don't want to have to fight through Anastasia security just to see her. I know enough about Kate Kavanaugh from my brief dealing with her to know that nothing will be easy with her.

And with that thought in my head I pull back out and do a U turn in the just wide enough street. I need to just get out of here before I do something stupid.

I'm cruising back past the apartment too fast when I catch the door opening. It's her. I don't know wether to slam on the brakes or floor it. She's seen me now, which is weirder?

I ease to a stop and watch her in my rear view mirror. She walks slowly to the street and turns to see me stopped. She's casually pulling her hair back into a ponytail and I'm intrigued enough to watch for a minute without the pain of feeling like a creepy stalker asshole. She starts walking towards the car so I roll the passenger window down. I swallow hard. This could go a million different ways and I don't like guessing what might happen next.

She approaches the car and leans over into the window. Her dress hangs just so, and I try not to stare at the navy bra that's peeking out from under it.

"Are you lost?"

She seems serious enough when she asks, but I know she knows better. I'm pretty far off the beaten path in this college apartment filled neighborhood. I smirk. She has no idea how lost I actually am.

"No, I think I found what I'm looking for."

I think I'm catching her off guard. But it's only fair. I'm staring at her now, half taken by her beauty and half forcing myself to not stare at her chest. She's as confused as I am. She finally looks away from me and back down the street. I glance in my rear view mirror. I see a blonde I can only assume is Kate wrapped in a robe and hanging half way out the door. Anastasia shrugs it off and hangs her head. She speaks without looking back up at me.

"I'm sorry I don't know what you want me to do."

She seems legitimately lost. But so willing to please. There is promise there.

"I want you to get in the car."

I lean over and pop the passenger door open and feel a smirk come across my face. She looks at me and returns it. There is a spark of something wild in her eyes. She glances back towards her waiting roommate.

"I don't have shoes on..."

She protests only slightly as she glances down at her feet. I follow her eyes and notice for the first time that she has taken off the black tights she had been wearing and she is, in fact, barefoot. It's more than I can take.

"Get in the car."

She raises and eyebrow and bites her lip.

Fuck, she is sexy.

"How do I know you won't kill me...or worse?"

She has no idea.

"You don't," I start in, teasing her with an undercurrent of real threat until I see a look of panic start to glow on her, "but something tells me your stealth reporter roommate has been making note of my license plates and would alert authorities to the fact that you were with me. Now get in the car."

She processes what I have said before taking a deep breath and climbing in. In one move her ponytail is over her shoulder and she slides in ass first, her thigh showing itself as she sinks into the cool leather. Her skirt managed to hike itself slightly and she moves to tug it down before my hand catches hers and stops her. I leave my hand on her thigh as she buckles her seatbelt and we start off down the road with absolutely nowhere to go.