The Reminiscences of Pansy Parkinson
Hermione was eating her breakfast. Harry had just left, saying that he was going to try and visit Ron before class. She knew that Harry was feeling a little guilty because he hadn't been able to speak to Ron since The Incident (as Harry had taken to calling it). Apparently, the day before he had waited until Ron had dozed off and slipped out of the Hospital Wing without a word to his best friend. Well, she couldn't really blame him. As Harry had pointed out quite loudly, "Bloody hell, Hermione, Malfoy was in the next bed!"
Hermione was thinking back on the previous day and the unsettling conversation she had had with Pansy Parkinson. She still didn't believe it. Draco Malfoy had a crush on Ron? For the past three years? How gullible did the other girl think she was? (Well, he did snog the arse off him in front of the entire school, Hermione's brain helpfully supplied. Yes, thank you, I had noticed that small detail. Stupid brain).
No, Hermione was sticking with the plot theory. Yes, it was definitely a plot. A plot to get to Harry. Lord Voldemort had ordered Draco to – to – kiss Ron in front of Harry (the rest of the school being there was just incidental) in order to – um – to – erm – induce a coronary! There!
Hermione slammed her head down on the table with a groan. She couldn't believe that she'd been reduced to this.
A flutter of wings and a strong smell of owl urine told her that the post had arrived. Hermione really ought to have a word with Dumbledore about the benefits of a Muggle postal system. Owl delivery might sound quaint, but in practise, it more often than not resulted in owl poop in your pumpkin juice and half-eaten, soggy letters. Muggle postmen may have had their faults – leaving the gate open, not delivering anything important until well after mid-day, whistling loudly, upsetting the dog – but they could usually be relied on not to pee on the latest missal from your great aunt Nora (well, not unless you'd really pissed them off).
A dollop of milk in the eye interrupted Hermione's thoughts. Sitting up she noticed that there now appeared to be a large book atop her bowl of cereal.
Damn.
Hermione had managed over the course of the last twelve hours to convince herself that Pansy's offer the previous day had been an elaborate joke. But now… now, the title, spelled out in gold, was looking Hermione squarely in the eye and mocking her: The Reminiscences of Pansy Parkinson.
Oh hell.
Hermione had done something bad, something very, very bad. Something she never, ever thought she'd do. Quite possibly the worse thing imaginable (Hermione had a spectacularly poor imagination). Worse than the Killing Curse – well, okay that may have been a bit of an exaggeration, but it was a close thing – she'd skipped class.
Some things were just too important to wait.
She opened the large book on her knees. A note fluttered out. Hermione picked it up and read it.
Granger
Here as promised is my journal - heavily edited naturally! I appreciate that some of my comments may appear somewhat dense in the light of recent developments, but back then I was as much in the dark as you would still like to be.
You being, as dear Draco would say 'a filthy Mudblood' you probably don't know how a pedigree witch's journal works, so I will explain. Whenever you see {~~~~~~} this denotes an actual memory, a "flashback" is probably how you would best understand it. It's a bit like a pensieve, only in paper form. In short, I have captured the actual experience as it happened, at least from my perspective. Perhaps one day we should steal Draco's journal and read the same events from his point of view. I'm sure it would make interesting reading.
I hope, after reading this, you will understand that Draco's feelings for Weasley are sincere. Yes, I know, they make me want to hurl too, but they are sincere. I once held strong feelings for Draco myself, however, since becoming his confidant in this matter, I have had to surrender those feelings, and accept that he will never feel the same. I know you have feelings for Weasley – Merlin knows why – but it's time you, like I before you, bow to the inevitable. Granger, these two were meant to be. It's only a matter of time now before Ron realises it too.
P.P.
A flood of emotions washed over Hermione as she read.
Filthy Mudblood! Pedigree witch! Hermione had a sneaking suspicion that she may have just been called a mongrel. What a complete bitch (well that was certainly appropriate).
Of course, Hermione hadn't known how a non-Muggle born witch's journal worked so, it was… well, okay, nice of Pansy to explain. And she had to admit the idea of stealing Malfoy's journal was intriguing (they must discuss that further). But the feeling that stood out, the one that overcame her as she opened the cover of the book was one of surprise – Pansy had actually called him 'Ron'. Shaking her head in wonder, Hermione started to read the first entry.
September 1st, 1997
Draco has gone off to see if the rumours about Harry Potter being on the train are true. He looked so cute for someone so short. He must be all of about 3 foot (I swear he slicks his hair back in the hope that it makes him look taller) but he struts around like he owns the train and everyone on it. He's a proper little Lord Voldemort! Bless him.
Well, that was certainly interesting. Draco just got back. Apparently it is true. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts. I wonder what he looks like. I bet he's tall and dashing. I hear he has a lightening scar on his forehead. I couldn't get any decent information out of Draco, he was much too distracted by Potter's friend…
{~~~~~}
I looked up as the door opened and in came Draco, followed by those two idiots, Crabbe and Goyle. Draco sat down next to the window and stared out. He was breathing heavily and looked rather flushed. It was a bit of a shock. In the six years I've known him, I don't think I've ever seen any colour in those pasty cheeks. I wonder what has Draco so worked up.
"Draco, are you okay? You seem a bit upset?"
He glared at me. "Of course I'm upset! Did you hear him?" He turned blazing eyes to Crabbe and Goyle. Obviously the trip to see Potter hadn't gone well.
Goyle was busy nursing his finger and mumbling something about a "stupid, ruddy rat!" But Crabbe looked up and asked, "Who? Potter?"
I thought Draco was going to hit him. "No, you bloody idiot! The redhead? Did you see what he did?"
Vincent turned to me and shrugged, clearly he had no idea what Draco was talking about either. Then, obviously confusing me with someone who actually gave a damn, the big stupid oaf started to tell me what had happened.
"We walked into Potter's carriage and Draco said –" But he was interrupted.
"Yes, yes –" Draco stood up. "But did you hear that redheaded boy? Did you hear him?"
Crabbe opened his mouth to reply but didn't get a chance.
"He laughed. He actually dared to laugh at my name."
Draco sat back down and looked out the window again. "Well, it was more a shy snigger really. How dare he, a lowly Weasley."
He turned to look at us. "Of course, father has talked about them. They're dirt poor and a disgrace to the name of Wizardry by all accounts." Draco bit his bottom lip and stared back out the window. "He never said their hair was that vivid though."
There was a moment of awkward silence, when none of us really knew how to respond. I mean what an odd thing for Draco to say.
Thankfully, Gregory chose that moment to regale us all with the tale of how his finger had come to be twice its original size and three times as purple. However, he only got as far as describing how Weasley's rat had continued to cling onto his finger as he waved his arm in the air, when once again Draco started ranting.
"Yes, yes, but did you hear Weasley? And with a smudge of dirt on his nose the whole time. I was very tempted to rub it off. It made it very hard to concentrate. He laughed at me – all cute sniggers and smudged noses. Bloody cheek…" He trailed off and looked out the window, chest heaving.
"Um, Draco?" He turned to glare at me.
"What?"
"Did you just call this Weasley boy 'cute'?"
"No."
Gregory and Vincent exchanged wide-eyed looks. "Yeah, you did."
Draco stood up and glared at all of us. "I did not. Bloody idiots! Why would I call a boy cute? Are you all bloody insane?" And he stormed out of the carriage.
How odd. Draco must really, really hate this Weasley chap to get so worked up. He was so angry that he obviously didn't even realise what he was saying.
Draco didn't return until we had pulled into Hogsmeade station, and he refused to talk to any of us. Once we were all on the platform, he seemed to be looking around for something. Then, that hideous thing Hagrid started waving a lantern around and herded us onto some very precarious looking boats. I refused to let Crabbe and Goyle into mine – no way would it take the combined weight of those two imbeciles.
When I looked around for Draco, I saw him walking towards my boat with his head down. After he got in I asked him where he'd been. The little tyke glared back, kicked me in the shin and told me to mind my own business! Sometimes he makes me so mad. Then he sat mumbling something about "stupid, bloody Potter, the need for bigger boats and bushy-haired, buck toothed harridans getting in the way…"
It's been a long journey. I'm sure we'll all feel better after some dinner and a good night's sleep.
9.30pm
I'm writing this sitting in bed in my new dorm. I can't believe I have to share a room with four other girls, how terribly plebeian. I must write to mummy tomorrow to complain.
Well, it's been quite a strange day. First, there was all that nonsense on the train, and then the horror that was dinner. I felt like hitting Draco by the end. He droned on and on and on, for the length of each course, barely taking his eyes off the Gryffindor table. I swear to Voldemort I never want to hear another word about that idiot Weasley boy!
{~~~~~}
I looked over at Draco shaking my head. He was straining his neck to see over the top of Crabbe, while a non-stop commentary fell from his open mouth. Merlin, how I wanted to hit him!
"Look at him," he urged us all. "You can't miss him, his hair is positively fluorescent." Then, standing slightly to get a better look. "What's he eating? Oh, I like those too." Sitting back down, he glanced off to his left, "Oh, they must be his brothers. Twins. Their hair isn't as red as his. He's paler too. Of course, I knew he'd be sorted into Gryffindor, so I wasn't disappointed – I mean surprised. It would have been funny if he'd ended up in Slytherin though, don't you think? I mean what would his parents have said? And it would have split him and Potter up which would have been funny. I didn't actually want him here or anything like that. Do you think the Gryffindor dorm is far from ours? I hope so – wouldn't want to bump into Weasley every day, ha ha! I wonder if we'll have any classes with him – I mean with them, y'know the Gryffindors. We must have some surely. It will be a good opportunity to show them up. Bet Weasley doesn't know much. Do you think they'll let us sit with people in other Houses or will we have to stay with our own House?" Then getting to his feet quickly, "Oh is dinner over? He's leaving." And he rushed to the end of the table and headed after the group of Gryffindors that were walking out. "Oh, they're going upstairs and we're going down here. Oh well, never mind – I mean, oh good. Wouldn't want to see Weasley's ugly mug any more than absolutely necessary. Ha ha!"
And Draco craned his neck to watch the Gryffindors ascending the stairs until they were out of sight. Then, turning back, he promptly walked straight into a suit of armour.
I fear Draco dearest might be developing an unhealthy obsession with that ginger boy. I mean it's all very well to hate someone, especially a stupid Gryffindor but he's in danger of allowing this particular hate to get out of hand. I will have to keep my eye on him and make sure Draco shares his hatred equally among all the Gryffindors, ha! ha!
Oh and Harry Potter isn't tall or dashing – typical! And he wears THE worse glasses I've ever seen! As for the 'famous' scar – you can't even see it, thanks to his awful hair. Urgh! And he was sorted into Gryffindor. Honestly! What a let-down!
September 2nd
Merlin! The funniest thing just happened! Even funnier than watching Draco trying to dance with a suit of armour! I swear that boy is turning into the biggest klutz around here – he's starting to make Goyle look positively poised! I just don't know what's come over him lately. Draco seems to have turned into a complete bumbling idiot. I actually felt sorry for him – well eventually, after I stopped laughing! Ha ha! (must make sure Draco never reads this!)
It happened on our way to breakfast. We were making our way over to the Slytherin table. Draco was just in front of me and was boasting loudly about how well he was going to do in all his classes. Unfortunately, he was so busy looking over at the Gryffindor table, that Draco didn't notice that Vincent had stopped to tie his shoelace (I was rather surprised too – I didn't know he knew how! Ha ha!). Poor Draco walked right into him, and did a quite spectacular somersault over his back. It really was hilarious – I didn't realise Draco was into gymnastics! His face was so red when he jumped up…
{~~~~~}
I quickly smothered my laughter as Draco leapt back to his feet, I knew he'd go mental if he saw me laughing so I feigned concern, "Are you okay, Draco dear?"
But he didn't seem to hear me. He was looking frantically over at the Gryffindor table – again!
"Did he see? Was he looking?"
We all exchanged confused looks.
"Did who see?" But again, Draco ignored me.
"Oh, it's okay, he's still not here." Draco let out a relieved sigh. Then, seeming to remember something, he turned and kicked Vincent hard. "You clumsy bloody oaf! You made me look like a right idiot – if he'd seen me you'd be dead now!"
Vincent was too busy hopping around, clutching his abused leg to respond, so I asked instead, "Who? If who had seen?"
I didn't get it – why was Draco so worried about one particular person seeing – the hall was half full and most people had caught the whole stunning performance, showing their appreciation with catcalls and applause, not to mention gales of laughter (two particularly enterprising Gryffindors, those Weasley twins I think, had even held up makeshift score cards reading 9 and 9.5. I'm sure if Draco had seen them he would have complained because they hadn't given him a perfect 10!). And yet the stupid boy seemed only concerned about one person. So who was it?
Draco was still glancing over at the Gryffindor table… oh, surely not. It couldn't be Weasley could it? Was Draco so wrapped up in hating that boy that he was more concerned about him witnessing his idiotic antics than half the bloody school? This was getting silly.
Draco seemed to notice my interest in where he was looking, and abruptly turned and started to walk towards the Slytherin table. "No one, never mind."
But I wasn't about to let it go.
"It's not Weasley is it? You're becoming obsessed with that kid, Draco. It's really becoming a bit of a worry."
"Don't be ridiculous, Pansy. Why would I care about that prat?" But he had definitely reddened when I'd mentioned Weasley.
I continued to look at him suspiciously when we sat down. And I couldn't help but notice that Draco made sure he was facing the Gryffindor table. Realising I was still watching him, Draco turned away and glanced up at the teacher's table.
"If you must know, I was talking about Professor Snape," he snapped, nodding in the direction of the Potion master's empty seat. "You know how friendly he is with father. I didn't want him reporting back that I'd made an idiot of myself on my second day."
Second day? Who was he kidding – what about that fiasco last night with the suit of armour? Still, I didn't think it was a good time to bring that up. Interesting though, that Draco didn't want Snape to see him making a fool of himself. And I don't think it has anything to do with his father…
Vincent had been stupid enough to sit down opposite him and as Draco finished speaking he let out a sudden yelp of pain and fell backwards off the bench clutching his leg again.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Vincent, did I inadvertently catch you with my foot? How clumsy of me." Draco smiled vindictively.
He really is an evil little git. I think I might marry him one day.
Eew! I just found out something icky about Draco! It was just after we received our lesson timetables from Snape. I couldn't help but notice how keen Draco was to get his hands on one, practically falling over himself to get to the front of the queue. He seemed very excited and looked rather flushed. For a timetable? It was only as we were reading them that I realised how preoccupied Draco appeared with one particular class. And something began to dawn on me.
{~~~~~}
Draco is such a pushy git sometimes! I had just taken my time table from Snape when the stroppy little bugger shouldered me out of the way and practically grabbed one out of the man's hands. Snape didn't look very impressed either and actually hit the stupid boy across the back of the head with the remaining sheets but Draco didn't even notice. He was much too interested in scanning the paper in his hand.
He must have read it in a matter of seconds, as I had only finished reading up to Tuesday when I heard Draco mutter, "Damn! Not until Friday."
I glanced up at him to see what he meant, but Draco was still looking at the paper so I figured he hadn't meant to be heard. I quickly looked at Friday's schedule to find out what he was talking about.
"Double potions. Oh, that's right it's your favourite subject, isn't it?"
Draco looked up at that, and I could have sworn he was blushing slightly. Interesting. I'm beginning to suspect there's something more going on here.
"Oh dear, but it's with those dreadful Gryffindors. I wonder what your beloved Snape will make of Weasley and Potter." Yes! There was a definite blush this time.
Ha! You know I think Draco may have a bit of a crush.
"Just think two whole hours in a darkened room with Weasley. Good job Snape will be there to stop you jumping on each other."
I am SO right! Draco actually became so flustered by my comment, that he had to leave the room, red faced and rather breathless. Who would have thought it? Draco with a crush. But of all the people he could have chosen… Snape! Eew! Ick! Ick! Ick!
September 5th
Draco definitely fancies Snape! It's the only explanation for how obscenely happy he was today - no one can like Potions that much!
I'm not too worried, I've read that it's quite usual for young adults our age to have a crush on a teacher, and it means nothing at all. I don't think there's any danger of me falling for any of the trolls around here though! They're all so hideous I'm just as likely to fall for the Giant Squid! I mean has Draco seen the size of Snape's nose?! Not to mention his total failure to understand the amazing things one can do with shampoo! I'd have thought someone as obsessed with hair as Draco is – Merlin knows he never seems to tire of describing Weasley's – would be fussier.
Anyway, Draco was so keen to get to the lesson, that he dragged us all off early from breakfast to stand outside the classroom waiting for his hero to arrive!
He was looking anxiously over my shoulder when I noticed Draco's eyes light up. I was sure that the man of the moment had arrived but it was only Weasley...
{~~~~~}
Draco immediately stepped forward to stand in front of Weasley.
"So, Weasley… come here often?" And he smiled.
Smiled!
Weasley's frown turned into a look of confusion. "Huh?"
I must admit, much as I loathe the boy, Weasley did have a point. What was Draco thinking?
I turned to C & G and Millicent. We all wore the same confused look as Weasley. Come here often?!
Draco was looking around at each of us as if suddenly realising where he was.
"Er – I mean – um, you know – do you – erm – come here often without your pathetic sidekick Potter?" And he turned to smirk at us a little uncertainly.
Weasley just shook his head and walked past us into the classroom mumbling, "Pathetic, really pathetic…"
And again he did have a point. As insults go that was rather a weak effort, especially from Draco – I mean that boy is positively venomous as a rule. I've often said that he could probably reduce a Dementor to tears (if Draco ever stopped wetting himself long enough to be in the same room as one).
And I thought it odd that he called Potter Weasley's sidekick. Surely it's the other way around?
But I think I know what's going on. Yes, I'm pretty sure I know why Draco acted like such a blabbering idiot around Weasley. He was obviously distracted. Probably daydreaming about Snape! Eeew! And double eeew! Poor besotted fool probably didn't even know what he was saying.
At least after Weasley arrived, Draco finally allowed us to go into the classroom. For some reason up to that point he had insisted that we wait outside for Snape. Don't know why Draco changed his mind then, but it was nice to be able to sit down.
When we got inside, Weasley was sitting near the back – he'd obviously heard about Snape's tendency to pick on Gryffindors and was taking no chances. Wimp! I sat down in the front row expecting Draco to sit next to me. I was sure he'd want a good view of Snape (ick!). But he actually walked to the back of the classroom.
Weasley had placed his book bag on the chair next to him, obviously saving it for Potter (ha! As if anyone else would want to sit there!).
Draco walked over to Weasley and looked at his bag. Then at Weasley. Then at his bag. Back at Weasley. Then back to the bag.
It might have gone on all day, but at that moment Potter came in, strode over to the desk and pushing past Draco, handed the bag back to Weasley and sat down. For a moment I thought Draco would Avada Kedavra him on the spot, but before he could say or do anything Snape walked in. I thought Draco would sit next to me then but the stupid boy sat behind Weasley instead. Damn him!
At least the lesson went well.
Snape was positively cruel to Potter, which was just lovely.
I know Draco enjoyed it because every time I turned to look at him, he was wearing a dreamy expression and gazing at the desk in front. And when Snape told everyone to look at how perfectly Draco had stewed his slugs, I thought Draco would swoon with joy – his eyes were shining with happiness but he was obviously too embarrassed to look directly at Snape, the big sap! So he stared straight ahead instead, blushing beautifully.
Pity all Draco had to stare at was the back of Weasley's head. But he made the best of it, and actually wore a silly, soppy smile for the rest of the lesson.
Draco was in such a good mood for the rest of the day, it made a pleasant change. If he re-lived that lesson once, he re-lived it a thousand times. It was Weasley said this, Weasley said that, Weasley looked like this, Weasley looked like… oh.
Weasley?
September 12th
Draco is in a foul temper. I've come up to my room to escape.
And to think today had started so well.
The boy had positively skipped into breakfast after Snape told us we would be having our first flying lesson. Even when I pointed out that it would be with the Gryffindors, he didn't seem to mind, in fact Draco looked even happier.
I know Draco thinks he's a bit of a genius on a broom, so he was probably looking forward to showing off in front of them. And I heard him sneering to C & G that Potter would hopefully fall off and break his neck. They'd still been laughing at that when Goyle had added that with a bit of luck he'd land on Weasley too. Draco had stopped laughing then and I could have sworn he deliberately trod on Gregory's foot as he walked past. That boy is so moody, obviously in a snit because Greg thought of it before he did.
Draco didn't take to Madam Hooch much either.
He was obviously so determined to show off to Potter, that Draco actually went and stood at the Gryffindor end of the line. He must have been too late to get in front of Potter, so he had stood opposite Weasley instead. But Madam Hooch made him move further down to stand with the rest of us. Draco was lucky that she didn't hear him – I was quite shocked at what he called her.
There then followed a rather amusing interlude with that fat boy from Gryffindor. I haven't laughed so much since Draco fell over Vincent!
After Hooch picked Longbottom (Merlin, what a name!) up from the floor and led the big buffoon off to the Infirmary, Draco saw his chance to get one over on Potter and flew off with fat boy's Remembrall. I think Draco was quite surprised when Potter flew after him – we'd been told that he was brought up by Muggles, and hadn't even known he was a Wizard until last week! Bit of a shock for Draco then, when Potter just hopped on his broom and followed him.
I thought poor Draco was going to faint!
He was furious by the time he'd watched Potter catch the Remembrall and land. Then, when all the Gryffindors started to cheer, I thought Draco's head would explode. He couldn't seem to take his eyes off Weasley, watching him clapping his friend on the back and cheering with the others.
Draco finally managed to drag his eyes away when McGonagall turned up and hauled Potter off. He brightened up a bit then. We were all convinced that Boy Wonder would be expelled. Draco was quite ecstatic at the thought, asking gleefully, "I wonder what Weasley will do for a best friend then?"
Unfortunately, Millicent has just come into the common room to tell us that Potter hasn't been punished after all and that she'd actually overheard McGonagall telling Flitwick how much she'd been impressed by his flying skills.
I took one look at Draco's face and ran for it. I can still hear the crashes and bangs from up here.
Hermione looked up startled as someone walked through the portrait hole. She slammed the book shut as she recognised who it was.
"Ron! What are you doing out of the Hospital Wing?"
The redhead stared at her looking wide-eyed and shocked. He seemed unable to answer. Lifting trembling fingers to his lips, he giggled slightly hysterically.
Hermione was worried now. Did the boy have a concussion? Perhaps she should call Madam Pomfrey. She stood up and walked towards him.
"Ron, are you okay?" She asked gently.
The most serene smile Hermione had ever seen suddenly bloomed across his face.
"I'm good Hermione. Very good." And he walked up to the boy's dorm.
Hermione watched him leave. What the –?
But before she could even finish the thought, Harry came bursting into the room. He was out of breath, and looked like he'd been dragged through a hedge backwards; he had a cut lip and one of the lenses of his glasses was broken.
"Where's Ron?" He gasped out.
Hermione pointed wordlessly up the stairs. Before she could ask him what was going on, Harry had run up the stairs taking them two at a time.
Well that was odd…
Once again, her thoughts were cut abruptly short. This time it was Seamus who ran into the room. If anything he looked in a worse state than Harry. His robe was torn and his left eye was turning an interesting shade of violet.
"What the fu–?"
"Ron?"
Once again, Hermione pointed to the stairs. The Irishman walked purposefully toward them.
"But Harry has already –"
Seamus turned sharply at her words, "Potter's up there too?" He snapped.
Hermione suddenly felt a little afraid for Harry. "Er – yes."
And then, Seamus too was gone. Hermione couldn't have said how many steps he had taken at a time, but it had been pretty impressive for someone with legs as short as Seamus. She wouldn't have been the least surprised if he'd strained something.
But just what was going on?
Suddenly Hermione dropped the book in her hands as a loud bang echoed through the room. Someone was kicking at the entrance to the room. Hermione heard a high-pitched yelp and then the Fat Lady screaming at her unknown assailant.
"Just what do you think you are doing young man?"
It was a bloke then.
"How dare you assault me!"
Then a voice Hermione knew only too well yelled back.
"Shut up, you stupid old hag and let me in!"
Why on earth was Draco Malfoy trying to get into the Gryffindor common room?
Hermione had a strong suspicion that it had something to do with Seamus, Harry and, above all, Ron.
Another thought soon occurred to her.
Was anyone actually in class today?