Sometimes it was terrifying what changes that could happen in five years' time. Kagami recalled Momoi's hair was much longer, but nowadays she kept her hair short – he almost didn't recognize her when he saw her with a short hair for the first time – or Kuroko had his front fringes longer that they often hid the emotion flashing in those pools of soothing blue, or their usual court which he remembered seeing trees border around it, but last time he'd walked past it, they had been chopped down and replaced by parking lots.
It didn't apply to Aomine, though.
He still had the same look; a pair of sharp dark blue eyes under the lowered brows, short dark blue hair, tanned skin, well-built body beneath the jacket, the sleeves were rolled up to the elbows revealing his shifting tendons as he tugged at the bag strap, and the very same scowl. He hadn't changed much, as if the time stilled around him.
"Aomine?"
"Holy fuck, he's been right. You look fucking awful," Aomine said.
Damn, it'd been awhile he didn't listen to that voice. Aomine's deep, smoky voice took Kagami back to five years ago where they had a stupid fight over dinner a night before Aomine had gone missing. Their last dinner together, and it jogged his memories again. Everything, their shared moments, their fight came to him in fleeting fragments, and Kagami trembled, his hands that rested beneath his ears now were sliding down helplessly.
Kagami was lost for words and unable to think properly, his mind in a whirl, but he guessed Aomine took pity on him, the hand on his shoulder gliding down to his wrist, and Aomine pulled him up with a loud huff. Kagami struggled to lever himself to his feet and his free hand was windwhirling to find something to hold on, trying his best to ignore his shaking knees and the panic attack and confusion that threatened to knock him back on his ass.
His shaking knees, however, failed him, and he found himself falling straight into Aomine's arms, hard. Aomine staggered backwards a little from the impact.
"Don't tell me you've forgotten how to stand up properly, Bakagami," Aomine sneered into his shoulder.
Had it been another time, had he not been in a panic attack, had Aomine never been missing, he would've kicked Aomine's ass to return the favour. He had always been allergic to Aomine's stupid taunts and insults, thus the stupid fights. Aomine knew how to push his buttons and drive him up the wall. But this time the trick didn't work, overwhelmed by frustration, confusion, and the feeling of Aomine's solid body against his. He buried his face in Aomine's shoulder, his hand tugging at Aomine's shirt tightly, both convincing himself 'this is real, Aomine's here' and not wanting him to disappear again.
If Aomine noticed his lack of response, he didn't make a comment about it. Instead Aomine allowed Kagami to lean deeper into him, wrapping his arms around Kagami as if it was a natural response like breathing, letting Kagami curl himself against him and ignoring Kagami's shudder against his chest, and Aomine buried his face in Kagami's hair.
Just for a second.
Just for a broken moment of time, they held onto each other as if trying to take back those five years they'd lost.
Kagami felt a pat on his back and heard Aomine say; "Come. Let's get that big fat ass of yours moving." Kagami knew it was the cue to pull away from the hug. He took a step away from Aomine, head down, and gods, it took him some considerable energy to move his foot. He watched his foot swing, inside screaming 'noooo!' He didn't want to let go of Aomine yet. Aomine was going to disappear again if he let him go.
Kagami had no clue if Aomine could read his mind, but it probably looked obvious on his face, or his gestures, or whatever because Aomine was holding his wrist and whispering; "Chill. I'm not going anywhere."
It was hard for Kagami to lift up his head to level with Aomine's eyes.
It, however, was a mistake to meet Aomine's sharp eyes. Those eyes were studying him, narrowed as unreadable emotions swam behind them. Feeling uncomfortable under Aomine's scrutiny, Kagami lowered away his gaze with a faint blush on his face. Fuck, he was acting like a school girl.
"You are a pussy," Aomine said suddenly.
Uh huh, Kagami didn't mean to say that out loud. It seemed his muddled mind was unable to differ between an interior and exterior monologue anymore.
"I hate you," he muttered under his breath.
Aomine turned to the door. "Tell me something I don't know."
"Fuck you," he cursed, getting his old self injected into him again at Aomine's dry reply. He let Aomine take him by the wrist and lead him outside the hospital.
"Appealing idea, but I'm not bottomed for anyone."
"Go fuck yourself," he watched Aomine's bag bob up and down as they descended the stairs. He could hear sirens blaring in the distance, and there was a cold wind slicing up his cheeks. Tokyo was sliding into a silent transition from autumn to winter. How had he not noticed the biting cold atmosphere before he entered the hospital and met Tatsuya and Aomine, he had no idea.
"I don't think that's how sex works," Aomine argued, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Also, I'm not bottomed even for myself, if it was ever possible."
"Do you have to do that?" he asked. Kagami could feel the grip around his wrist growing stronger as they joined the crowds on the street. The city was still busy with night activities; people going to clubs to pleasure themselves, working people rushing to the train station to catch the last train, teenagers in bizarre clothes hanging out, music blaring into the street.
"Do what?!" Aomine shouted but his tone was light indicating there was no heat. People were pushing forward. Kagami winced a little at the contact.
"Taking everything into sex—"
"Hey, the light's green," Aomine talked over him, drowning the words. Before Kagami could do more than gasp, he was yanked into a full sprint across the road. Kagami glanced around in panic. People looked so funny. Maybe they were glaring in their direction, or shocked, he couldn't guess when his vision was blurred, and everything appeared so weird, so fuzzy around the edges in fast motion.
It didn't take them so long to cross the busy road. With great agility and reflex they both shared, they hit the pavement within seconds. Short sprint, no biggie.
Or perhaps he thought it too soon.
As soon as Kagami's right foot landed on the pavement, he pulled Aomine back into a halt to catch his breath. He placed his free palm (Aomine was still holding his wrist) on the knee, body curving forward as he gulped down a breath.
"Getting old already, Bakagami?" Aomine smirked, finally letting go of his wrist.
Kagami glared through the black-crimson layered fringes. "Try to inhale smoke daily for three years and see if your lungs still can function properly," he straightened up his posture again. His constant exposure to smoke for three years certainly had his stamina depleted, much to his dismay.
Aomine shrugged. "Never told you to become a firefighter."
"You weren't even there when I filled out the form, so shut your mouth," he snapped a reply. Aomine was silenced by that and stared at him.
Realizing his mild reaction, Kagami bit down his lip and scratched his head exasperatedly to chastise himself. What a way to make the air awkward and heavy. He looked up from his feet and opened his mouth to apologize "I…" His mind was working fast to form a sentence. "I… was wondering where we are heading to." Instead, another (not so stupid) question came out and he wanted to kick himself at the sudden cowardice.
Aomine raised a brow but he answered nonetheless. "Your place."
"My place?"
"Yep, your place. I'm crashing at your place."
Not a request but it was an announcement. Aomine kept a straight look while Kagami stared at him, incredulous. Kagami figured 'permission' was never registered into Aomine's limited dictionary, or Aomine never believed in respecting people's privacy; Aomine had once bulldozed into his bedroom and slept in his bed without asking for his permission. That proved his assumption.
In the end, Kagami shook his head and gave in, fully knowing Aomine wouldn't take 'no' as an answer. "The opposite way, idiot."
"So, let's cross again," was the only Aomine's reply.
…
Dealing with the door lock while having Aomine's sharp eyes zeroing in on him was terrifying.
It should be a simple task; thrust the key into the lock, turn it until the clack sound is heard, and he'd done this for years. But having Aomine by his side, who hadn't been to his place for five years, with the sharp dark blue eyes hopping from his face to his shaking hand repeatedly, it was so terrifying that Kagami couldn't do as a simple task as unlock the door without his mind spiralling into another panic attack that he wasn't sure he could pull out of this time.
Then Aomine caught his hand into his, jerking Kagami out of another potential panic attack.
"Hey, chill," Aomine whispered.
It was strange to hear Aomine say that instead of questioning his sanity or well-being. As if Aomine could get the gist of his weird reactions but chose not to pinpoint it. Kagami decided to let it slide this time. He took a deep breath to calm himself. Right then Aomine had removed his hand from his, and Kagami could unlock the door without problem.
The living room was in pitch-black. White light from the corridor cast through the door, causing an exact reflection of its door squares and Kagami's and Aomine's shadow to appear on the floor. Kagami pushed the door wider and motioned for Aomine to come in. "Uh… welcome…?" he muttered awkwardly.
He noticed Aomine sweeping his gaze once before it fell on the wilted hydrangea on top of the shoes shelf. The hydrangea sagged against its transparent vase helplessly, the colour of its leaves ranging from yellow to unhealthy brown. It was slowly dying eaten by time without a proper care. "I guess botanist doesn't suit you well, huh?" Aomine said with a dry humour which didn't slip by him.
Kagami couldn't hold back the wince at the remark. "I've been busy recently, so I've got no time to take care of it…" his voice trailed off at the end because he knew that wasn't the case, and he knew Aomine knew that as well. His life had been so miserable he couldn't bring himself to care about everything else but the mistakes he'd done.
"Right, busy," and there was no word following it. Aomine toed off his shoes lazily and walked over to the dark living room, leaving his shoes mess on the floor. Kagami sighed and placed Aomine's shoes in the shelf along with his own.
He studied Aomine from the entrance. Aomine was walking all over the place, probably looking for the switch or making himself at home. A curious hum left his lips before his exploration was put into a halt when his foot collided with the couch, hard, and Aomine muttered curses, hopping around on one foot.
Pitying on Aomine, Kagami reached out to switch on the lights which was installed just above the shoes shelf (the reason why Kagami hadn't followed Aomine to the living room in the first place).
The apartment unit was suffused with bright light, revealing a simple living room with the kitchen emerged in one the corner of the room. The room was completed with simple furniture; Kagami's favourite couch, a square glass table, a TV with a grey DVD player across it, sitting perfectly between the window and the sliding door that led to the balcony. The curtain dropped from the white ceiling, slightly fluttering in the breeze. The unit apartment provided only one bedroom and a bathroom. Simple but it was more than enough for Kagami.
Aomine turned around to the front door again, still rubbing the sore foot with a pinched look.
"I was looking for that," Aomine grimaced, carefully lowering his foot again to the floor.
"And you only noticed the stupid plant," Kagami traipsed into the living room, his hands going into autopilot to arrange the cluttered basketball magazines on the glass table as soon as he neared them.
Aomine chucked his bag to the couch. "Your place hasn't changed so much."
"Doesn't need to," he answered. He wondered why Aomine hadn't questioned about the lack of certain items loitering in his house, evidence of Momoi living here as well.
"Lazy ass," Aomine snickered, pushing him aside as he flopped down on the couch. "Glad you haven't gotten rid of this thing," he patted the couch with a blissful sigh before slumping against the couch, his head tipped back and his long legs stretched out under the table. "God, I missed this couch."
He stared at Aomine for a moment with a mutter of "Idiot" then he squeezed himself into the limited space as well, pushing Aomine's body in the process – the couch was too small for them both but who cares when tiredness has taken over the body. "Move, Ahomine."
"Nope."
Kagami pushed Aomine's shoulder. "Move. You take too much space. You and your bag."
"No way. 'm tired," Aomine refused to budge, pressing more weight into the couch.
"C'mon, it's my fucking couch," Kagami argued, pushing as hard as he could that it could've sent Aomine tumbling down the couch if it wasn't because of Aomine's arm on the armrest stopped the motion.
Aomine glared at him, jaws ticking beneath the skin visibly. An alarm rang out in Kagami's head because an angry Aomine wasn't a good thing. Gasp was as far as Kagami could do before Aomine's hand suddenly snaked towards him then everything spun around him and he found himself lying across the couch, his head on Aomine's laps, his legs dangled over the other armrest, and a pair of dark blue eyes looking down at him.
And that had happened in the blink of an eye.
"You're too noisy, Bakagami," Aomine seethed under his breath, which Kagami wasn't sure to decide whether to feel alarmed at Aomine's fume or be grateful for getting into the comfortable position.
In the end, Kagami decided to keep his mouth shut at the moment to allow Aomine's anger to subside.
Aomine's eyes didn't stay on him long. Aomine rested his head against the couch, his chest heaving down steadily as he let out a deep sigh. Kagami stilled himself, taking in every detail. Being this close to Aomine, he noted that Aomine had not so visible stubbles on his chin which he had missed earlier. He absently brought his hand up to Aomine's chin and felt the sharp stubbles prickle against his trembling fingers. It reminded him of those years they had lost, and he ached, the pain a physical thing, a liquid twist in his stomach.
"Where've you been?" he managed a whisper, his words broken.
Aomine stilled for an instant, a single beat of his heart, or probably both of their hearts, and then he looked nose down at him, his face, again, devoid of emotions, the very same look he'd worn five years ago. The air, too, had the same uncomfortable, ominous silence as though the time had rewinded back to five years ago, except that they were now in his living room.
"Where've you been?" this time firmer.
"Working."
"You could give…" me… "…us a call."
Pause. "Busy."
"Bullshit."
Aomine fell silent. His dark blue eyes hadn't averted away but with the light bathing over Aomine and shadow playing across Aomine's face, Kagami couldn't read the emotion. The hovering silence gave Kagami an unknown feeling which was churning his stomach into a black hole. Kagami wasn't used to a silent Aomine. He was so used to boisterous, arrogant Aomine, often parrying any insults that poured out of Aomine's mouth, so when he was clashed with a silent Aomine his mind became blank.
"Say something, asshole," Kagami tried again.
"You're tired."
"Answer the fucking question!" he screamed, rousing up but there was a large palm placed over his eyes, pushing his head back into Aomine's laps. He tried to peel the hand off of his eyes to free himself with groans. "Fuck, Aomine! Let go! I can't see! I—"
"Sleep," Aomine told him.
"No, I'm not going to sleep—"
"You're tired, Kagami. Sleep," Aomine's voice was calm like he was talking to a sulking child. It sounded so foreign to Kagami's ears.
"NO!"
"Sleep."
"I—no, answer my question first, Aomine. I…" Kagami stopped prising Aomine's fingers, holding them instead. "I need to know… I—"
"Sleep."
"Please, I need to know—"
"Sleep."
Kagami let out a sigh to end all the sighs, knowing Aomine wouldn't give in. "I don't—no, I can't sleep."
"What again?"
"I can't sleep."
He remembered that he was suffering from insomnia as well. It had become his common companion, a problem that couldn't be solved with pills or exhaustion since Kenta's death, and then became worse when Tatsuya had slipped into coma. He'd tried everything to get some sleep but every time he drifted into slumber, he'd be jerked into awake by the nightmares. It was maddening. Kagami tried not to think about them when he was awake. He tried, tried and tried even though it was hurting his head, because if he gave them even the slightest opening, they would bleed out, haunting him for the rest of the day.
Most of the time, he could shove them into the darkest corner of his mind, a place he'd created with layers of unimportant things so he could stop thinking about them. But when the insomnia came, the walls and layers would crumble away then he'd end up curling himself into a cocoon while clutching his head tightly.
"Just try to sleep. You'll be fine."
That assurance… somehow it eased his heart. He wanted to prise Aomine's hand again so he could see Aomine's eyes to find the honesty behind his words, to know Aomine was telling him the truth that this time he would be really, really fine, that the nightmares wouldn't come and jerk him out into insomnia again. He, however, stopped himself from doing so because he didn't believe himself that he wouldn't cry if he did that, if he were to clash eyes with Aomine.
So he kept Aomine's hand over his eyes, the only shield he had to stop himself from bursting out.
"Don't worry, you'll be fine," Aomine assured him again.
Kagami swallowed. "Just… don't leave me alone," he managed. "Stay… stay with me… I don't want to be alone—" he buried the rest of the sentence in his throat, holding Aomine's hand close, inhaling the scent. Then he felt a hand on top of his, squeezing it lightly.
"I'm not going anywhere, Bakagami."
That was it. The promise was what he needed to hear. As he sank into the darkness of fathomless dreams, the promise, the sound of Aomine's steady breathing and feeling of Aomine's hands on top of his shoved away the nightmare that crept up into his sleep.
And they reminded him that he wasn't alone.