Finally Chapter 4!
Chapter Four: Levi's POV-
"Levi… can I ask you a question?" Eren finally asked, glancing at me from his spot by the fire pit. After his emotional outburst and my "speech", he immediately excused himself and went outside. I thought about going after him, but I decided against it. I had made my point already, and if he needed time to himself, I'd let him have it.
He came back about a half an hour later with more venison meat and began cooking it slowly over the fire, but the entire time his eyes were distant, obviously lost in his thoughts. After about ten minutes, nature called and I excused myself, but reclaimed my seat when I came back, opting to skim through one of the journals again while carefully watching him from the corner of my eye until he spoke.
"You just did, Brat," I responded, gently placing the journal back onto the table before fully turning to face him. He glared weakly at me, his lips pinching together slightly while he rolled his eyes. "Yeah, fine. Go ahead," I finished, and he turned back to stare at the fire.
"Are you forcing yourself to accept me just because I saved you?" he asked softly, his eyes saddening and I felt the need to beat my head against the wall. How much did it take to convince this kid that I didn't have a problem with him?
"Kid, if I didn't like you or didn't want to accept you, I wouldn't care if you fucking cut off you limbs for the sake of replacing mine if I lost them, you'd still know how I truly felt about you. And if I really did think you were a monster, you wouldn't be alive right now. No one guilts me into anything," I stated harshly, eyeing him sternly while he turned and looked at me with wide eyes.
Suddenly, he broke out into a small smile and laughed; the sound reverberating throughout the hut. He sounded so relieved and happy, part of me wanted to punch him in the face. How could he go from gloomy and brooding to sounding so carefree in a matter of seconds?
"That really was a stupid question, huh? I don't know what I was thinking. I doubt anyone could force you to do anything, even if you are so short," he chuckled, peering at me with those innocent fucking eyes to gauge my reaction while I glared at him.
"Say that again. I fucking dare you," I hissed causing him to laugh again, a fist coming up to cover his mouth slightly while his bright eyes crinkled at the edges. This only made me glare harder because as much as I wanted to hit him, I couldn't because he was so fucking adorable.
"There's… there's just one thing I don't understand," he started, stumbling over his words as he tried to cease his laughter. "When I told you I put Titan blood on you, you freaked out. How can you accept me if Titan's disgust you so much?" he finally asked and I scoffed.
"A lot of things disgust me, Kid. You could've told me you poured the blood of Christ on me and I still would've wanted to punch you in the face. Do you know how filthy and unsanitary that is?" I asked, wrinkling my nose and shuddering while he lifted an eyebrow in amusement.
"How did you even get Titan blood in the first place? Do you keep jars of that shit lying around? Even Hanji has trouble gather that shit because it evaporates so fucking fast," I asked, while he grinned sheepishly and looked away, turning his attention back to the meat. I frowned, immediately understanding how stupid that question was. Of course the kid didn't have jars of Titan blood lying around. He had his own unlimited supply. "Right. Fucking lovely."
He was silent for a few minutes, his eyes glazing over again as he retreated into his thoughts. When he finally did look at me, however, his face was somber and I wondered briefly if I offended him.
"I didn't kill my parents. I know it kinda sounds that way since I said it's my fault their dead, but not in that way," he explained, and when I didn't say anything he continued. "It happened when I was ten. I don't really know what happened, but I had been reaching for something and bit my tongue. I remember a flash of yellow but that's it."
"Next thing I know I'm being cut out of my Titan's neck and carried by my father while my mother was screaming at him. They brought me inside and put me in bed, and she kept yelling at him. I don't really know what they were saying, but I was able to catch Father saying something about me being the ultimate weapon. She ran out after that, and he followed her. I never saw them again.
"When I woke up, I was disoriented and confused, but I remembered their fight and that they left, so when I couldn't find them I stood outside and yelled for them. I never heard a reply, and after a week, I stopped hoping they'd come back.
"I told myself I'd never turn into a Titan again, but after a while it was becoming hard to live off the little garden outside, and hunting at ten years old wasn't easy. As much as I hated the idea of being a Titan, I didn't want to die.
"I couldn't really control the Titan at first, it was hard, but after a few tries I had complete control. It made hunting and gathering wood a lot easier, and I was able to try and fight back against the Titans too. Sure I could do that as a human, but as a Titan I could take on more at once, and if it meant destroying them all for good, I was willing to keep transforming," he explained, clearly upset by the memories.
"I don't see how any of that is your fault," I finally said, but he didn't look at me. "Obviously your father did something to you, the question is what?" I muttered and he shook his head.
"I don't really know. I don't really remember anything before that day. I can only recall bits and pieces," he mumbled, his brow furrowing in frustration. I watched carefully as multiple emotions flashed in his eyes. Pain, anger, fear, and shock all washed over his features before settling back on fear and quickly being replaced by determination. "I remember a cave though."
"Do you know where the cave is? Maybe something there can give us more information," I suggested, and he paled slightly but nodded.
"Y-yeah I think I can find it," he said, sounding a bit uncomfortable, and I wondered if this was a good idea. However, as much as I didn't want to force him to revisit unpleasant memories, I knew this was too important to ignore, and he seemed to understand that too.
"Then we'll search for it after we eat," I decided, and he nodded before turning back to the fire. After he finished cooking the venison, he cut it up and we ate in silence. I was trying to imagine what we would find in an attempt to prepare myself, while Eren continued to sit by the fire and stare into it. He seemed troubled, and I wondered briefly what he was remembering whenever he'd reach up and grip his left bicep, or subtly look down at one of his limbs.
I could tell he was pushing himself. He didn't want to go near this cave. I could see in his eyes, which displayed his emotions like an open book no matter how hard he tried to conceal them, that he was afraid of going back. I could only imagine the terrible things that may have happened to him there, yet his eyes were still determined, bent on his promise to tell me everything that could help exterminate the Titans.
I was actually considering putting this off. It's not like I really had anywhere to be. Of course I would have to return to the Walls eventually, and I was definitely taking Eren with me when I did, but it's not like anyone is expecting me to come back. Hell they probably already threw me a funeral. Maybe I should give Eren a few days to calm himself. It might make the whole thing easier on the brat.
However, I failed to notice he had already cleaned up dinner and was standing in the door way looking utterly committed to go outside and find this cave. His brow furrowed slightly, but his eyes didn't waver in the slightest as he stared expectantly at me.
"Are you ready?" he asked calmly, and I noticed an old looking lantern in his grip, and cringed when I saw instead of burning oil, it was burning Titan vomit. I quickly pulled on my abandoned boots and stood, eyeing the offending lantern.
"Yeah, just… keep that shit away from me. That's disgusting," I grimaced, causing him to grin slightly before pushing the mat aside and allowing me to go outside. At least it didn't smell like anything…
"Yes sir, Corporal Levi, sir!" he mocked, causing me to narrow my eyes while he chuckled. "If you're disgusted by so many things why'd you join the military?" he asked, leading me behind the hut towards the side of the mountain while I shrugged.
"It's amazing what killing things does for your temper issues," I stated sarcastically, not particularly wanting to dive into my past, but then I remembered he was being forced to do that right now when he had blissfully forgotten it all. "I use to be a criminal, kind of a gang leader. We would steal maneuvering gear and use it to sneak outside the Walls to kill Titans, and break into nobility houses in Wall Sina.
"We were striving for the whole 'Robin Hood' gag. Steal from the rich, give to the poor, but eventually we all got caught. The commander of the Scouting Legion took a shine to me though, he admire my skill and determination to fight, and wanted me to join his ranks.
"I told him no fucking way. No one tells me what to do after all. But he told me that if I didn't we'd all be turned over to the Military Police and they'd no doubt execute us all. I didn't give a shit about what happened to me, but I couldn't do that to the others so I agreed. Been in the military ever since," I explained, and he stared in awe at me.
"Wow, that's… that's amazing," he stuttered, his eyes shining in admiration while I shrugged. "It must be hard being forced into something like that," he murmured, and I couldn't help but smirk.
"Yeah, you'd think, right? But I'm actually grateful to Erwin. Sure I was pissed at the time, but he let all of the gang members go without a hitch, and gave me a sense of purpose. I went from being a thug living on the streets to humanity's strongest soldier. It's because of him that we all got out alive. I would've been screwed otherwise," I admitted, feeling a little uncomfortable with how easy it was to tell him all this.
"Well, I can't wait to meet him. He sounds like some kind of hero," Eren blurted out suddenly, causing my eyes to widen when I realized he was accepting my offer to come back with me to the Walls. "What are you going to tell him about me?" he asked hesitantly and I thought about it for a moment.
"I'm going to tell him the truth," I stated firmly before looking at him. "We'll need to keep your ability a secret, but we will have to tell Erwin and Hanji. Hanji is our scientist who studies Titans, so she'll need to know everything you've told me and more, but besides that no one else should know. If the Military Police find out they will try to kill you, and that'd be a pain in the ass so we should just avoid that all together. I know Hanji and Erwin will agree," I explained and even though worry flashed in his eyes, he nodded.
"Alright, I trust you Levi," he said genuinely, smiling at me while I grunted in response and tried to ignore how damn attractive the brat was. When we reached the mountain side, however, his brow furrowed again and he frowned.
"So where do we start?" I asked hesitantly, not wanting to overwhelm him while he bit his lip, something flashing in his eyes as he turning towards his left.
"Follow the plants," he muttered, before pushing himself forward while I followed. We walked towards the edge of the clearing against the mountain side, and sure enough, the minute we stepped into the forest there was a line of silvery blue plants lining the edge of the mountain and creating a path of sorts.
"Not bad…" I stated lamely, but Eren just pushed forward holding the lantern up to light the way. I followed behind him as we walked in silence desperately wishing I knew what he was thinking; while at the same time knowing it was better that I was left in the dark. Part of me wanted to try and comfort him, but what could I possibly say? I couldn't protect him from memories.
We walked for about an hour, Eren pushing forward at a brisk pace while I followed closely behind. I was beginning to think we should have waited until morning when I finally noticed a hole in the mountain side.
"Is that it over there?" I asked, while he nodded mutely. "Are you sure you want to do this right now? We can come back later…" I trailed off, but he shook his head.
"No it's alright. I need to know what's in there," he murmured, and I considered telling him it was probably better if he didn't know, but decided against it. We calmly walked to the entrance and found another lantern placed conveniently on the ground, so after lighting it we both started making our way inside.
The cave itself was small and narrow, weaving its way deep inside the mountain and judging by the echo we made whenever we took a step forward, it would be a while before we found anything. Eren stayed quiet leading the way, and I was tempted to tell him more about the Walls to distract him, but when I looked at him I saw he was already absorbed in his own thoughts.
Eventually the ground shifted to an incline, but we pushed forward anyways, and after twenty or so minutes I could finally see the cave start to expand into a larger space. From this distance, even though it was dark, I could see a definite shape in the middle of the cavern, and my gut twisted when I saw that it seemed to resembled a coffin and the air smelt like rust and decay.
"I think I remember what this is. I think Father used to come here to continue his experiments without Mom knowing," Eren explained, his voice calm, but he pushed ahead of me before I could see his face. Following him into the area, I used all my military training to prepare myself for whatever we might find.
Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw.