Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent

We arrived at the restaurant and there was a moment of silence.

Her eyes shuffled around, not quite looking at anything.

"Nervous?" I asked, trying to hide my nerves. This was a mission, I reminded myself. I couldn't afford to mess this up. Jeanine had too much dirt on me.

"It's just, in abnegation we never...well I was never asked out." The bashful and embarrassed smile she wore was something I was not accustomed to seeing after having spent 2 years in Dauntless.

"Its okay. I knew coming into this that it would be a completely new experience for you. To be honest.." I began, leaning in closer to whisper, "It's pretty new to me too."

Her large eyes seemed to stare at me in confusion. "I thought…" She began, losing her words as I caught her eye.

"Yeah, my prospects were never really that great, being the kind of guy I am." But she would never know how cruel I was.

Before I got this assignment from Jeanine, I was set on being a member of Dauntless. I was so excited to finally be able to protect people. People who had no one else to protect them, people like my mom.

I suppose I can't hide this anymore. It was the reason I was in this mess after all. No one in the world except Jeanine knows this.

When I was 12, my father got very drunk. Now getting drunk was no new thing for him, it was almost a daily occurrence in my house, but this time was different.

This time, he had been working on a new project in his lab and the results hadn't been favorable. The same day, it happened, that my mother had her first successful trial of her new simulation serum.

He was outraged by her success and his failure. He began to beat her and well, he knocked her unconscious. It looked like he would've killed her.

Me being the 12 year old I was tried my best to fight back. That's when he grabbed me. Even now in my life I have never seen such blind rage in someone's eyes. I guess if there is one thing I inherited from my father, it was his temper.

Long story short, I ended up hitting my father over the back of the head with a lamp and he dropped. I didn't know if he was dead or alive. I crawled over to my mother but she wasn't breathing.

Overwhelmed, alone, and bloody, I went next door to Jeanine's house. She saw me and immediately went into action. You may not know this, but she had studied to become a doctor before being chosen to be a leader.

I should've known when she didn't call the Dauntless right away that something was up. She examined my mother first and then my father and pronounced my mother barely alive and my father dead.

I knew the laws of the city very well and I knew that there was only two ways I'd come out of this: factionless or dead.

Jeanine put her arm around me and promised me that everything would be alright. That I'd be fine. The next day, my mother died.

She had arranged for the deaths to be recorded as casualties of a car crash.

Fast forward to 4 years later, a week before I took my test, Jeanine called me into her office.

"You know that you owe me your life. Well now is the time for you to fill your end of the deal."

I had murdered my father and what was there to do but listen to the only other person who knew my dark secret.

I could've betray Jeanine, but what good would that do me? There would be an article out the next day detailing my murderous past. I would be tried by Candor and found guilty. All I would be was a murderer.

She implanted me with a serum patch before my first day of initiation and told me it was just a safe measure. So if I ever decided to betray her, she could use me as a slave without my consent. Needless to say I think I've been a very good doggy.

Back to the date, I've bored you enough with reasons you may or may believe.

After we ordered food, her mood seemed to lighten a bit. "You're doing well in training. Considering where you began, you've made excellent progress."

She thanked me quietly, and I assumed she was a little unwilling to discuss training.

"So do you have a favorite food?" I asked, myself searching for something to fill the awkward silence.

"In abnegation, we never really got to have tasty food so I guess the chocolate cake they served the first day after initiation."

I knew just which cake she had been referring to, as that was one of my favorites as well.

"You barely know me except for I expect stories and rumors you've heard, so how about we spend some time actually getting to know each other.

She nodded, as our food came.

"Is your name really Eric?"

That was a strange question to begin with, but nonetheless I answered.

"No."

I stopped there, seeing an expectant frown starting to creep on her face.

"Is your name really Tris?"

"No."

I gave her the same sour look she was giving me and we both laughed.

"My real name was Beatrice, but she was a scared little girl. Tris is brave."

"Yes Tris is." I agreed. "My middle name was Eric, my first name was Thomas."

"Why'd you change your name? I mean Thomas is a nice name."

"Same reason you did. I didn't like who Thomas had been so I became someone new."

She seemed to accept this, nodding towards me with an understanding glance.

"Tell me three things I should know about you Tris. Any three things you feel that I need to know." I leaned back, taking a bite of the steak I had ordered.

"Well the first is that I never thought I'd leave abnegation, the second is that I am actually very competitive, and the third is that I refuse to let you and the other leaders make me factionless."

That was the first time she had ever grouped me with the other leaders. Her tone wasn't angry, more determined.

"Your turn." She spoke, looking at me expecting my answer.

"Well, I am turning 19 in 3 weeks, my best skill is throwing knives, and I won't let you become factionless either."

Her blush was rather cute; I'm not going to lie. There was something in her smile and her eyes that confused me.

The rest of the evening was much more casual than the first half. We had both lightened up. When dinner was over, we made our way back to the dorms.

She grabbed my hand and I didn't know what to do. It was in this gesture that I was reminded that this whole evening was just a means to an end. I felt a pang of guilt, which was something I hadn't felt since I became Jeanine's lackey.

This whole awkward encounter didn't help me find out anything about her anyway.

Our awkward evening concluded at her door. It wasn't until I was about to leave that I looked at her face again. Her eyes were wide and she was biting her bottom lip, seeming to me indecisive.

Before I could ask her what was wrong, she reached up and kissed me. The funniest part was she must've been on her toes to reach me without me having bent down a little.

After that we said our goodbyes and I left for my apartment. I could still feel her lips against mine and my heart was beating fast.

I was letting this stupid girl get to me.

Sorry if the end seemed kind of rushed, I was trying to make it seem really awkward.