Fandom: Loveless
Title: Resolution
Pairing: SoubixRitsuka
Rating: R-NC17; this chapter R
Timeline: Future AU Although there are hints at some events through volume 4/episode 12, there is no mention of Septimal Moon or Wisdom Resurrection in this story.
Summary: Can Ritsuka forgive Soubi in time to save him?
AN: This story deals with some dark themes, including (but not limited to) graphic violence, abuse, and murder. Enter at your own risk.
Resolution
Chapter 5
"Save Me"
Kio gnawed on the dwindling bud of a lollipop and gazed around the roomful of bustling graduate students, his eyebrows drawn together in worry.
It wasn't like Soubi to miss a class.
He had always been faithful to his studies, without fail…
… except when that bastard Aoyagi was alive.
He tugged nervously on one of his many, many earrings, thinking it wouldn't be a bad idea at all to swing by his apartment later that night….
"Natsuo? Yoji?"
"Oi, Ritsuka!" Natsuo cheerfully barged his way past the stunned teen into the small apartment with his partner in tow. Indeed, years of maturation had done very little for their social graces. "Look, Yoji. Somebody lost their ears."
"Wh-what are you doing here?" Ritsuka asked, closing the door and watching as the duo made themselves at home as if it had been days, instead of years, since they had last been there.
"We need a reason to stop by and say hello?" Yoji asked, curling his feet beneath him on the chair that Ritsuka had been occupying. Natsuo plopped down on the floor in front of him.
"… well… no… but…"
"So here we are!" Natsuo interjected gleefully.
"Uh… okay." Ritsuka took a seat on the floor by the door, staring at both of his surprise guests without the slightest clue as to what to say. One minute into the conversation and he could already clearly see how the boys had evolved over the years, but yet still somehow remained the same mischievous-spirited pair that had taken such pleasure in tormenting him endlessly; it was a most surreal sensation, this impromptu meeting of past and present.
"Where's Soubi?" Yoji asked, reaching forward absentmindedly twirling a lock of Natsuo's hair.
"He has class right now."
Although Natsuo and Yoji were not facing one another, Ritsuka got a very clear, distinct feeling that something had just passed between them. He supposed it was always that way between Fighter and Sacrifice, even when those titles ceased to have any meaning. It hadn't been much different for him and Soubi; even though the strength of their bond had often left much to be desired, they had always managed to maintain something of a connection between them. Although lately…
"Are you living here now?" Natsuo asked, peering inquisitively at Ritsuka through his left eye.
"… yeah," the teen replied, rubbing his arms and looking away uncomfortably.
"Wow," Yoji observed. "Your mom's okay with that?"
"Can't imagine that, the way she used to beat on you," Natsuo added.
"Oh yeah," Yoji said. "She was pretty bad, wasn't she?"
"Mm-hm," Natsuo nodded. "I was always surprised that Soubi didn't hurt her for messing with you."
Yoji peered at Ritsuka through squinted eyes. "She really doesn't have a problem with you living with an older man?"
Natsuo piped in. "And a perverted masochist on top of it-"
"She's dead," Ritsuka blurted with a glare. "That... that's why I'm living here."
"... Oh."
"When...?" Yoji started to ask.
"She died a little while ago. And I don't want to talk about it."
"…Alright." The green-haired teen stopped twirling Natsuo's hair and the two of them stared silently at him, causing him to grow even more uneasy. And yet again, he sensed that unseen, unspoken communication pass between them...
What on earth was going on?
"Drink?" he offered, remembering his manners and grateful for the opportunity to change the subject.
"Yeah, sure," Natsuo replied as Yoji nodded.
Ritsuka got up and walked over to the refrigerator, grabbing two bottles of Ramona which, he remembered, they could not seem to get enough of when they'd stayed with Soubi before.
"So the two of you just happened to be in the neighborhood or what?" he asked, handing them the drinks.
"Well…" Yoji started, handing Natsuo his bottle. "You see..."
"Have you felt anything weird going on?" Natsuo asked, never one to shy away from getting right to the point. He opened Yoji's bottle and handed it to him before attending to his own.
Ritsuka regarded the pair with a distrustful frown. "Weird? Weird how?"
Natsuo shrugged casually and took a sip of the strawberry-flavored soda. "...Like... I don't know... other teams… battles…"
"… Fighter units…," Yoji added, tapping a slender finger against the top of his bottle. "Have you… or Soubi… sensed anything like that?"
"No," Ritsuka answered to the best of his heart's knowledge. "Why would we?" Why would they even ask him such a thing? The strange sensations he'd been feeling as of late had nothing to do with any of those long ago and far away things. His own concerns about Soubi's odd behavior had nothing to do with…
Nothing to do…
His heart pounded painfully in his chest as his mind was bombarded with a slew of recent memories.
"I'm going to go… and pick up some of your things."
Those things...
"I'll be right back."
Had passed...
"My phone must have died."
Those days...
"I have some work I want to get done before it's too late."
Were over...
"I'm very sorry that I worried you."
... Right??
A small gasp fell from the teen's mouth as his mind fought furiously to put together what his heart refused to comprehend.
No…. No. No. No.
No!!
There was no way...
Even through one eye, Natsuo was quick to notice the change in his expression. "What? What is it, Ritsuka?"
"Did you think of something?" Yoji asked, carefully scanning his face for any sign of reaction.
"What the hell is going on?" he asked, turning the interrogation around on them with a defiant voice that demanded to be answered. "Why are you here?"
Moments spun into minutes as the three teens stared at one another. Ritsuka staunchly refused to speak again until one of them answered him.
Finally, Natsuo spoke up.
"…We don't know what's going on," he began.
"That's why we're here," Yoji finished.
Ritsuka was frighteningly unsettled by their uncharacteristically quiet uncertainty. The still, small voice inside of him, the one that unequivocally denied that anything was wrong with the way things had been the past few weeks, rose up with a vengeance, crying out to him to-
"Tell me-"
No, no, no, NO! Whatever it is, leave it alone! Leave it-!
"-whatever you can," he said quietly, unable to ignore the feeling of… finality in his request.
"Please."
More silence filled the room. Natsuo tilted his head back until it was resting in Yoji's lap. He looked up at his Sacrifice, who gently stroked the hair from his forehead and nodded slightly in permission and encouragement.
"Ritsuka," he said, raising his head to meet the young man's amazing amethyst eyes.
"What?" He looked back and forth between the two Zero, vaguely noticing for the first time that they were without their own ears. "What is it?"
Natsuo set the bottle of Ramune down on the floor beside him and folded his hands in his lap. He let out a long, slow sigh and proceeded to ask Ritsuka the one thing that he least expected, the one thing that would mark the beginning of a series of events that would change his life forever...
"How positive are you… that Seimei actually died?"
"My father… if you want to call him that…. He's going to sell this house."
Seimei stretched his long, lean body across the bed that had once belonged to his younger brother, reliving the countless times that they had shared it. Playing, hugging, snuggling, limbs intertwined beneath those very sheets… gently petting Ritsuka's adorable head, stroking his tail, lighthearted pinches, tickles… touches--
"Those are the moments I miss the most, being here with him," he said quietly, his hands clasped together behind his head, sinking into the pillow underneath. "But I guess I don't have to tell you that, do I?"
His cold eyes left the ceiling and moved to the figure standing dutifully in the corner, motionless and speechless for the past hour. A surge of distaste ran through him at the sight of the pathetic creature in front of him and he had an almost overwhelming desire to… hurt him in some way.
His mind flipped through dozens of enticing options. There was always the knife, his preferred method. There were other equally exciting ways as well… but he couldn't. At least, not yet. Not until Soubi had done everything he needed him to do to achieve his goal.
Still, that wasn't to say he couldn't have a little bit of fun in the meantime…
The deranged young psychopath moved his right hand from behind his head and began to slowly rub his chest. "I used to sneak in here at night when he was asleep," he said, pausing to pinch each of his nipples through his shirt, moaning softly and keeping his eyes trained on Soubi.
"Look at me," he commanded.
Seimei smiled at the frown that crossed the Fighter's face before raising his blue eyes to meet his. His smile grew even more at the look of dreadful torture directed at him. No one he had ever known suffered as beautifully as Soubi. That was reason enough to keep him around, if nothing else.
"He always looked so precious," Seimei continued, lowering his hand past his stomach to grab his crotch, rubbing himself into a quick and urgent hardness. "I guess I don't have to tell you that, either--"
The chiming text alert of Soubi's cell phone interrupted Seimei, much to his irritation… until he considered that the sender was most likely his… beloved little brother.
Well, that would just make things all the more interesting, wouldn't it?
"Go ahead," he said, putting aside his own need for the moment, praising himself once again for his near infinite selflessness.
With trembling fingers, Soubi pulled out his cell phone. He winced as he glanced at it and Seimei was convinced that his suspicion was correct.
"How sweet," he murmured, fondling himself through his pants. "What does he want?"
A frown formed on the Fighter's face as he read the text message, grateful for any opportunity to avert his eyes from his master. "He wants me to come home," Soubi said quietly.
Seimei turned his head to one side in curiosity. "Doesn't he know you're 'in class' right now?"
"Yes." The frown deepened. "Something is wrong."
With a deep, disappointed sigh, Seimei let go of his erection and sat up. He knew that it could not have been a life-threatening emergency for Ritsuka to have simply sent a text…
... and how much fun would it have been if he had called instead? To make Soubi have a conversation with Ritsuka while he masturbated in front of him? Using him as a conduit to do other things… things he'd long dreamt of doing… things he'd still like to do one day….
The corner of Seimei's mouth curved in a wicked half-smile as he filed that particular idea away for future use. But for now-
"Go home," he instructed.
"Thank you," Soubi spoke in a voice that was barely above a whisper, humbly lowering his head before taking his leave. Seimei's dark gaze followed him out of the room. He had felt a brief spark of jealousy at Soubi's response, seeing how the Fighter's attention was clearly divided between him and his brother.
But… he also understood. He wasn't a complete monster, after all. When it came to Ritsuka… well, the boy- he was just… love. He had known that more than anyone in the time they'd had together before he "died" such a horrible death.
Soon, Ritsuka.
Once he had achieved his goal. Once all of his enemies had been eliminated. Once he could fashion a life for the two of them, the only two people who mattered… who existed…
Seimei sighed again and ran a hand through his thick, black hair, pausing briefly to rub his ears- a most sensitive part of his body that sent a shiver throughout him.
Not soon enough.
It seemed he might have to put Soubi back to work ahead of schedule…
"We felt power."
"Big power."
"There's only ever been one team capable of that kind of power."
Ritsuka paced around the apartment, Natsuo and Yoji's words echoing in his mind in a deafening mantra, consumed with fear and dread.
It was impossible, of course. Absolutely, positively impossible. Even if Soubi was into something… bad… there was just no way that Seimei was alive. He died in a fire, his body burned almost beyond recognition. Period.
But-
No.
- what if-
NO!
That would be… too much. That his own brother would have deliberately lied to him for all of those years….
Ritsuka pressed his hands to his temples and shut his eyes tightly, unaware of the small whimper that escaped him. He felt the surreal sensation of his departed ears and tail, twitching frantically as they had always done whenever he was nervous or excited.
Soubi! Quit nibbling my ears!
He clenched his teeth and tried desperately to push away the memory of sitting in his lap… his arms wrapped tightly around him… his smile… his laughter… there was no joy, no comfort in recalling it now- it felt more as if his heart and mind were eulogizing the man he had come to love more than anything.
And that terrified him even more.
He felt the sting of tears behind his eyes and squeezed them tighter. "Soubi-"
"Ritsuka!"
The teen had been too lost in his terror to hear the door open. His eyes flew open and his heart panged sharply at the sight of Soubi in the doorway.
"What's wrong?" he asked, stepping quickly into the room and grabbing Ritsuka by the forearms. "Ritsuka, what's wrong?"
"Soubi," Ritsuka started, searching for the truth in the older man's breathtaking eyes. "N-Natsuo and Yoji… they were here a little while ago."
Upon hearing the name of the two Zero, Soubi's arms fell down to his side, something that did not ease Ritsuka's heart in the least.
"What have you done?"
Seimei straightened the sheets on Ritsuka's bed and knelt down beside it, staring at the same blanket he had wrapped himself in many, many times before, feeling a calm sense of nostalgia. He reached out and ran his hand along it, smiling softly in the countless memories it brought to him.
It wasn't that he would miss the house. He could have cared less about it. His home was with Ritsuka, wherever that might be.
Something was indeed wrong. Something… irreparable, perhaps. He sensed it moments ago, and the feeling had only grown stronger since.
And now… there was something else as well.
The hand that caressed the comforter stopped moving.
"I thought you might come," he said.
He turned to the doorway and smiled.
"It's been awhile… Ritsu."
"Ritsuka, if there is something… happening… then it has nothing to do with me."
He hated to lie to him. It most certainly was not the first time he had ever done so- at the beginning of their remarkable journey together, he had done it quite a few times. But this…
He had killed his mother.
He had killed Breathless.
And he would kill again.
All at the request of the brother he believed to be dead.
The inconceivable severity of these lies far, far outweighed the times he'd mislead the boy and snuck away to fight without him. He was disgusted with himself, torn, completely undone by the ease with which soothing, reassuring words fell from his lips. Had it been anyone else, he would not have cared. But to do this to the one person he loved more than-
Seimei
- anyone… the one person, the only person, who had been able to help him reclaim a small, minute part of his ravaged psyche….
"I'll be happy to work with those brats if it means getting to the bottom of this," he insisted, stroking the teen's hair out of his face and swallowing hard, fighting back the urge to vomit.
"You… you promise?" Two beautiful amethyst-colored orbs stared pleadingly at him, begging not to be betrayed.
Soubi closed his eyes. His mouth turned up in a grimace that he hoped would at least somewhat pass as a smile.
It was too much.
Hurting Ritsuka like this… it was entirely too much.
And he just couldn't live with himself if he had to do it any longer.
Thinking freely and clearly for the first time since… forever, it seemed… Soubi made a decision.
"Of course," he said softly. He opened his eyes and cupped Ritsuka's face in his hands, smiling warmly at him.
It was the last lie he would ever tell him.
Seimei turned to Ritsuka's bedroom window and tilted his head as if listening. A very small, very slight frown passed over his angelic features.
"Interesting," he said.
"What?"
The young man turned back to Ritsu and smiled. "Oh… nothing," he said, taking a seat on the bed and gazing into the older Sacrifice's eyes. "So, what is this drivel about letting go of Soubi?"
"Exactly what I said," Ritsu said, glaring at Seimei. "Whatever your plans are, leave him out of it."
Seimei laughed, a pleasant, melodic sound that belied the evil and insanity behind it. "That's an awfully silly thing to ask, Ritsu," he said, chiding the man as if he were the younger party. "Soubi's my Fighter. You may as well ask me to give up half of my body."
"You are nothing but a sick, depraved, self-serving monster, Seimei. Do you truly expect me to believe you look at him as anything other than a dog?" Ritsu took a step into the room. "Your sentiments toward him never went beyond that."
"And yours did? Correct me if I'm wrong, Sensei, but… I'm not the one who stole his teenaged ears, am I?" Seimei grinned and shook his head. "You call me a monster? That's quite ironic coming from a child molester."
Ignoring the young man's tauntingly truthful jab, Ritsu took another step into the room. "You will leave Soubi alone," He warned. "Let him salvage whatever is left of the damage that… both of us… have caused him. Let him have a life with your brother."
"I'm afraid I can't do that," Seimei said with mock regret. "Besides, even if I wanted to…"
He gazed toward the window again.
"It seems as if I no longer have a say in the matter."
After love was over, Soubi stood patiently as Ritsuka finished in the bathroom. The shower had stopped running a few minutes ago.
He could still feel him, his small but strong arms wrapped around his neck, his legs wrapped high around his waist, his lips, his tongue, his warmth… inside and out. Every kiss, every thrust, every gasp, every scream, lingering on each of his senses and imprinting themselves on his heart. Everything, all at once…
One last time.
"I'm starving," Ritsuka proclaimed, stepping out of the bathroom and drying his hair with a towel. "What do you want for din-?" He stopped and stared curiously at his lover.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
Soubi walked over to the teen and wrapped his arms around him. "Waiting for you."
"I'm right here." Ritsuka rested his hands on the older man's lithe but powerful chest and stared up at him.
Soubi smiled warmly and leaned down to touch his forehead to Ritsuka's.
"I forgot something," he whispered.
A large, blooming smile appeared on Ritsuka's face, one that both eased and broke Soubi's heart. It had been awhile since they played that little game of theirs, one started so long ago over a text message.
The teen leaned up on his toes and kissed Soubi gently on the lips. He broke away and blushed, embarrassed, perhaps, by the memory of kissing his cell phone all those years before.
"Thank you," Soubi said, cradling the teen in his arms.
There was more… so much more that he wanted to say. But instead, he decided to end it between them at the same place where, in many ways, it had begun.
Soubi leaned into Ritsuka's ear and nuzzled it gently.
"Go to sleep now," he spoke softly. "The truth will dawn upon you with the morning light."
Ritsuka pulled back in confusion. "What did… you…"
The teen collapsed in Soubi's grasp. The Fighter picked him up and carried him over to the bed, their bed, laying him down with great care and covering him with a sheet. He stood upright and looked down at Ritsuka's sleeping face, wanting to touch him again, but knowing that the time had already passed for such things.
He turned and walked out of the apartment, down the steps, where he began walking toward his master, drawn to his voice like a ship to a beacon. But he had to hurry; Kio would be arriving there at any moment. He easily sensed his friend's approach- could almost see him in his mind's eye, and was a bit taken aback by just how quickly it all came back to him once he had decided to embrace his name.
His true power. Yielded only by his true name.
Of course Natsuo and Yoji had felt it. And they couldn't have been the only ones. Had Ritsuka ever been any more attuned to his abilities as a Sacrifice, he surely would have felt it too, from the very beginning.
Rarely had the Fighter ever gotten an urge to act of his own volition, let alone give into that urge; he most certainly would have never dreamed of doing so until now.
For him.
Punishment was bound to be in order for what his actions. So be it. There was precious little that hadn't been done to his body or mind at the hands of Seimei and Ritsu. Truly, the only new ordeal left for him to experience was death itself.
… and considering everything he had done, Soubi felt that perhaps that wouldn't be such a bad thing, after all.
"I have a proposition for you, Ritsu. One I think you'll find quite to your liking," Seimei said, standing by the window and staring at the older bespectacled man. "Walk away. Walk away from this fight that you have no chance of winning. Do that, and I'll… let you borrow Soubi for one night. A week, even. One week, to do to him whatever you want."
The Sacrifice giggled gleefully at the brief look of consideration that passed through the older man's eyes. "Oh, come on, Sensei. Surely you must have wondered what his body is like now that he's older. Or would you rather just hear about it…"
"Let him go, Seimei. Or I will kill you," Ritsu promised.
"Well, that's not a very nice thing to say," Seimei said, sliding the window open. "Is it, Soubi?"
"Sou-!" The name died on Ritsu's lips as he saw the young Fighter enter the room and stand obediently by his master's side.
Soubi…
He had come in hopes of rescuing him from the life that he had set into motion by allowing Seimei to have him…
… but one look into the dead, soulless- yet somehow, still frighteningly vibrant- blue eyes of the shell of a man before him only served as proof that there was nothing left to save.
Nothing at all.
TBC
"Save me from this madness… save me from this shame... Save me from this feeling… wipe these damn tears away"
Save Me by Darius
AN: I actually ended up scaling back just a tad bit on the rating, which was initially supposed to be NC17 for those of you who read the sneak preview. There was a particular scene that I'd originally had in mind for this chapter that I ultimately decided to alter, thus taking the rating down a notch. Traces of the planned scene do remain in this chapter, but in the end, I decided that the sheer graphicness of that intended moment truly didn't serve the story other than just for shock value which really wasn't necessary since I think it's already pretty clear that Seimei is a sick, sick fuck.
It was also proving to be the major reason I hesitated completing the chapter, which I do not intend on ever doing again.
xoxo