If anyone has any time, please review (or even send a message) : It'd be great to hear what you guys think, even if you think this is a piece of shit. I need tips for improvement, because - obviously - this isn't a perfect fanfiction, but it can get closer to perfect with your help. This is the first fic that I've wrote more than two chapters for so I can't tell what's good/bad about it.
Thanx and PEACE
Oreo
"EUGENE!" Delsin lost his smirky self immediately. He ran to where the hooded gamer lay and fell to his knees; running his hands over his bloodied body - looking for a sign, any sign, of life. There were none. Eugene's glasses lay a few feet away in a pool of blood of their own, as if they had also bled. His eyes were glazed over and were fixed on one point in the sky, his mouth lay slightly open and the edges curled in a dead smile. The bullet had lodged itself somewhere in his brain. It was too late to save him. The hooded man was still laughing. Delsin completely lost his cool; he absorbed Smoke from a nearby chimney and charged towards the man. With a furious yell he turned into smoke and flew towards him. The man calmly holstered his gun and waited for Delsin. The smoke turned back into the powerful Conduit and a cinder blast sent the man flying backwards. Delsin shot a volley of smoke rockets at him before he could recover. He dashed towards him and started punishing him with his chain, swearing with every strike. He finished off with another cinder blast which threw the man straight off the building. Halfway through his fall, the man disappeared.
"If that is the best you have got," Delsin whipped around at the sound of the hooded man's voice, he was standing on the opposite side of the roof completely unharmed by the super-powered assault, "then what I have been told of your power is... immensely exaggerative." The man disappeared again and reappeared directly in front of Delsin. He swiped his hand through the air and Delsin was sent flying into the sky. A fall from that height would have even hurt a Conduit but Delsin managed to turn into smoke and saved himself. "My turn." The man said in a sinister voice. He teleported again and again around Delsin, disappearing before he even fully reappeared. Delsin shot smoke bullets repeatedly but missed every time. The man got close again and another wave of his hand smashed Delsin into an air conditioning unit. He didn't get back up. I wanted to help Delsin but I was out of energy from the last battle. I looked around, searching desperately for a power source. I saw the ocean in the distance. Could I? It looked like it was miles away and I doubted anyone could absorb energy from that sort of distance. But I had to try. I closed my eyes and called out to the water.
I need to recharge... There was no reply. I NEED to recharge. I NEED TO RECHARGE. I NEED...
As you wish. A large bolt of cryoenergy shot out from the ocean and sped towards me. I absorbed it and launched myself at the man in the hood. He turned to face me and teleported away before I landed my midair punch. The man teleported close to me but I stomped my foot on the ground, sending cryoenergy across the ground. He was too fast, disappearing before my attack even got close. A metal fist hit me in the nose. I stumbled back and another fist hit me from behind. Another and another. He was toying with me. Time to end this. I smashed the ground again to give me a bit of breathing space. I raised my hands skywards and summoned a hailstorm. The hail stones hit him wherever he tried to teleport and his movements started to get awkward; he was getting hurt. Yes! I snapped my hands downwards and - instantly - the man was frozen in a block of ice. Out of breath, I called another bolt of energy from the distant ocean and replenished my supply. Cautiously, I walked towards the frozen man. He looks like... Kessler... The man's orange eyes glowed even when he was frozen. He blinked. The sky darkened again but, this time, I hadn't caused it.
"Shit." Was all I could manage before the ice blew apart. A lightning bolt shot down from the blackened clouds and broke him from his icy prison. I was so close that I was also electrocuted. I fell to the ground in pain; my vision went dark like before.
"It will help your pride if you accept the belief that you never stood a chance." The man sneered as he walked away.
"WHO ARE YOU!?" I shouted at his back.
"You may call me... Kessler." He turned around and glared at me with his burning eyes.
"But... you're not... Kessler," I managed, each breath burning my lungs. I could feel my consciousness slipping, "His eyes... were... blue."
"Very good!" The man smiled in an eerie way, "How does someone as insignificant as you know that?" He spoke in a superior tone.
"Why not just... kill us... now?"
"Don't worry, your deaths are inevitable," He laughed, "But I don't feel like killing you now." He paused to crouch and stare directly at me. From this distance, I could make out his ugly wrinkled face. He didn't have any eyebrows and his teeth were rotted brown. Wiry, silver hair poked out the side of his hood. The original Kessler was bald. Who was this wannabe Kessler? "You see... I enjoy playing games."