So I lied, but it was a good lie. I pumped out a chapter while on vacation. Just to show you all my appreciation for all the great reviews. Thank you all once again.

It's a short chapter, but I thought I would answer some of the questions that you guys were asking. This is just a conversation between Olivia and Dr. Lindstrom. It starts with Dr. Lindstrom talking and alternates between the two of them.

It picks up after the cliffhanger of last chapter, but that little cliffhanger won't be addresses until next chapter. Sorry guys!

Chapter 4

"What has bought you here today, Olivia? It's been a while since I have seen you last."

"I'm not sure, Dr. Lindstrom…"

"You called and requested to be squeezed in immediately- two days before Christmas. Something must be weighing heavily on your mind."

"…IbrokeupwithAlexlastnight."

"You broke up with Alex? Before you continue, can you catch me up on what has occurred between you two since the last time we talked? If I remember correctly, the last time we spoke, you were contemplating moving out of her apartment."

"Yes. I moved out a few days after we talked."

"Why?"

"Because I was happy."

"And why did being content in your relationship prompt you to move out?"

"Because I was getting used to being happy."

"What's wrong with getting used to being happy?"

"It doesn't last."

"It?"

"Happiness. It never lasts."

"Happiness does not last or you do not allow happiness to last?"

"Both."

"How did Alex react?"

"Furious would be a euphemism."

"Was the move about putting emotional or physical distance between you two?"

"Both."

"And yet, you have kept seeing her."

"I didn't move out because I didn't want to be with her anymore; I moved out because…I felt moving out was the only way to save our relationship."

"How would you moving out save your relationship?"

"Alex and I work because we just…are. We never put labels on this thing between us, we never ask questions, we never ask for more. When she is in town, we are together, when she is not in town- we're not together. In a weird way, things are simple between us. We read the same books, love the same movies, we go to art exhibits and museums, but yet she's comfortable in a cop bar and loves fast cars. We have a lot in common and we enjoy being together. I'm afraid…"

"You are you afraid of, Olivia?"

"I am afraid that… by trying to deepen our relationship it will change what has made us work for so long and I will lose her."

"Is that all you are afraid of?"

"I am also afraid that I don't have anymore to give her. I have never been in a long-term relationship."

"You have been in a relationship with Alex for over a decade. Many would consider that a long-term relationship."

"Fair point."

"Have you discussed any of your fears with Alex?"

"If I was able to talk to Alex, then I wouldn't need to talk to you."

"Fair point. So you moved out and you continued to see each other, but you broke up with her last night. Why?"

"She wants more."

"Which is different from how you two have operated for the last fourteen years."

"Yes. Normally Alex is the one that runs or leaves. But ever since Lewis, she has been talking about staying in New York indefinitely, insisting that I move in with her, telling me she will always love me…It's just such a big change in our dynamic. I am still trying to wrap my head around it."

"And your response to that is to break up with her?"

"What if I agree and give us a real shot and she leaves again? Alex's first love is her career. What if her next position is in D.C. or abroad? My life is here in New York. My son is here. My work is here."

"Have you ever given Alex something to stay for?"

"…What if I'm not worth staying for? What if I can't love her enough to make up for her never accomplishing her political aspirations. She has already started turning down jobs to stay in New York with me. She will have a hard time as openly gay politician."

"Don't you think that is for Alex to decide? She strikes me as a smart and thoughtful woman. I would be surprised if she has not already weighed the pros and cons of entering in to a relationship with you. It seems she has made her decision. Instead of trying to make decisions for her, you should focus on whether being with Alex is what you want. Do you love Alex?"

"Yes. Scares me shitless, but I do."

"Do you want more with Alex?"

"If you had asked a week ago, I would have had an answer for that question."

"What has changed in the last week?"

"Elliot's back."

"Your ex-partner?! How did that happen?"

"He just walked into the precinct one day-just like he walked out."

"And how does his return make you feel?"

"You know I hate when you ask me that."

"I will rephrase: how has his return caused you to be unsure of your relationship with Alex?"

"He left his wife- in part for me."

"Wow."

"You see the issue."

"We have not talked in depth about Elliot. Would you like to talk about him now?"

"Do I real choice?"

"This is your session, Olivia. We can talk about whatever you like."

"I don't know how I feel about Elliot's return. Elliot…hurt me. "

"How?"

"He was the only person that I let in all the way. Even more than Alex. I trusted him. I depended on him."

"Have you ever depended on anyone else? It seems that everyone depends on you."

"Alex, during my recovery. But that's why I moved out- I was beginning to depend on her. And I wouldn't survive being abandoned again by someone I depended on…Elliot broke something in me. And I worry that the leftover pieces of my heart aren't good enough for either of them."

"You are more whole than you give yourself credit for, Olivia. What are your feelings for Elliot?"

"I don't know. There was a time… when I loved him. I loved him for a long time. While Alex was coming and going out of my life, Elliot was there almost every day. When I met my half-brother and found out about my father, Elliot was there; when I set up for murder, Elliot was there-fighting for me; when I was lost Calvin… He was just this consistent presence in my life for thirteen years. Until he left..."

"Have you forgiven him for leaving?"

"After Lewis, yes. I didn't want to die hating Elliot. Despite how he left, he had done too much good in my life for me to die hating him."

"Do you love him?"

"I love who he was to me."

"Do you want more with him?"

"I love Elliot Stabler of 1998-2011. I don't know who Elliot Stabler of 2014 is."

"Then maybe you should get to know who he is now and see if your feelings are still there."

"My relationship with Alex has evolved so much since he's been gone. Places that Elliot used to fill in my heart now belong to Alex- and Alex has found and carved new places in my heart that I didn't even know existed before. No one has ever taken care of me the way she did this year. Not Elliot, my mother. "

"It is very rare to find someone as devoted as Alex is to you."

"When I'm with Elliot…I love being with him, but… I feel like I am betraying Alex. Alex loves me so much, she deserves my whole heart…and she'll never have it, if I don't resolve things with Elliot."

"What will bring you resolution with Elliot?"

"I'm not sure."

"Maybe that's where you should start. Finding a resolution with Elliot. But, Olivia, you had very strong feelings for him in the past. You may be opening Pandora's box. Be careful."

"I know. Thank you, Dr. Lindstrom."

I hoped I answered some of the questions you guys had. Please read and review and let me know what you think. This story is being shaped by your thoughts, opinions, and questions.

Next chapter will be a big chapter for both EO and AO. Some fluff and some angst.

I will now go back to sipping Pina Coladas on the beach.