Phil and Dan: Chapter 3
"No Daniel, nothing's wrong." Phil spat. "Why would anything be wrong? Only the fact that I'm a worthless idiot that nobody knows is what's wrong. Look at this Dan, look at this." Phil dug his nails into his palms and bit his lip as tight as he could to try and not cry. He turned his laptop screen to Dan to show him the hateful comments that had been making him so upset.
"Ugly, useless, weird and not nearly as awesome as Dan…not really seeing the appeal" "What a loser" "His face honestly makes me want to throw up" "WTF what a crap video...who actually subscribes to this" "All of his subscribers are just Dan's trying to be nice." "Literally, whoever is writing these comments deserves a medal."
The comments went on and on and on. When Dan finally looked back up at Phil he was half stricken and half seething with anger. Phil suddenly began to rant. Most of it was meaningless drabble, incomprehensible to Dan. Things about Twitter and YouTube and subscribers and hate but some were scarily specific. Dan hadn't even noticed himself but Phil had, thanks to the many comments that informed him. There was one thing that Phil kept on repeating the same words at different times in his yells and mutters.
"Dan and Phil, Dan and Phil, Dan and Phil…never Phil and Dan."
Finally, Phil rounded on Dan, who looked shocked and unsure about what to do.
"Surprised Dan? News flash, I'm not always happy. I'm just…just worthless." Phil sighed. He collapsed, boneless. Dan's heart seemed to convulse and ache just a bit as he watched his best friend curl up on the bed.
After a couple seconds, Phil and Dan had both calmed down a bit. Phil felt surprisingly, much better after his venting session. Phil took a deep breath in and released it slowly.
"Um…sorry Dan. I know you were only trying to help and I was a bit of a twat." Phil said, biting his lip.
"You're sorry? YOU'RE SORRY?" Dan exclaimed. "I'M sorry! I'm supposed to be your fricking BEST FRIEND and while you've been completely destroyed on the inside about your YouTube," here Phil winced "I've been pestering you to make another video! I'm such an idiot!" Dan yelled. He took several deep breaths. "Sorry." He said quietly. Phil smiled at him.
"We need some cheering up. Death Note?" Phil asked gently.
"Death Note," Dan agreed. They walked together to the sofa and Dan grabbed the blanket as Phil set up Death Note. As they sat next each other, Phil pressed play. Dan kept his silence for the first episode, but in the middle of the second, Dan had to ask.
"Phil…did you…did you really think you were worthless?" Dan whispered in Phil's ear. Phil paused the show. Feeling heat rise behind his eyes and a watery blurry film settle on his vision, the older boy swallowed a couple times then nodded. He felt Dan take a sharp inhale then breathe out slowly.
"Oh Phil," Dan chuckled, his chest vibrating.
"What?" Phil demanded.
"You could never be worthless," Dan started. Phil shook his head and buried it under the blanket. Dan brought his head under the blanket as well.
"You didn't let me finish. You could never be worthless…because to me, you're priceless." At this, he turned Phil's face towards his own so that they were eye to eye with each other. Then, Dan cracked a smile.
"That was quite good, wasn't it," Dan said as he straightened back up. Phil gave a watery chuckle. He brought his head back up as well.
"Yes, alright…that was…okay." He said. Dan's infectious laughter rang through their apartment as Phil let Death Note play once more.